This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
Depression Society MKVI
Scroll to see replies
Original post by Webberino
It was good thanks, I cried of course but still. 
The woman was really lovely, she asked if seeing mentor once a week was enough, I was just err probably or something, got worried he would get sick of the sight of me.
She also asked if it would help to keep in contact with him over the summer when I'm home, I said yes and she asked me if I skyped. Oh dear, that would be embarressing!
It's not your fault what you're going through and I'm sure the last thing your mum would want is for you to feel guilty.
Hope the appointment is useful.
The woman was really lovely, she asked if seeing mentor once a week was enough, I was just err probably or something, got worried he would get sick of the sight of me.
She also asked if it would help to keep in contact with him over the summer when I'm home, I said yes and she asked me if I skyped. Oh dear, that would be embarressing!
It's not your fault what you're going through and I'm sure the last thing your mum would want is for you to feel guilty.
Hope the appointment is useful.
I very much doubt he would, from what I can gather he is very fond of you!
Thanks, it was ok. We were talking for an hour and a half
She said I have clinical depression and was talking through treatments which she thinks will be counselling and medication. She mentioned going into hospital but then said being around other depressed people would be bad for me at the moment. Talking to her about my plans was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do and I kind of wish I didn't. She's coming back to see me on Friday so I'll see what happens then. She was going on about how I am in a high risk group and how she doesn't use that phrase very often. I read what she was writing about me and it's so odd reading it about myself, seems far more serious. She phoned my mum and told her everything. My mum greeted me home from school crying and hugging me saying if I ever did try to it would kill her, I feel so trapped. Feel so guilty when I want it so much. I know she's just showing her love with the hugging but she has hugged me more in the last few days than she has done in my entire life, I don't really like it. I kind of feel guilty because I wonder why anybody would want to love me like that, I'm not all that great. Came home and found she has SH proofed my room, feel terrible about it all 
My RE teacher who I spoke to asked me how I was getting on so I was telling her about the appointment and how I left about taking medication for depression. She went on about how she takes antidepressants and how much they have helped her and how it is all about finding the right one. It was nice that she trusted me with that, I appreciated it
Oh and I also might have punched a year 7 who
Quetiapine has been increased. 
I feel so pathetic. My life has been reduced to taking numerous antipsychotics at ridiculous doses in the hope that it will do something to help. When I was at school I had so much potential, I probably could have excelled at anything at university. Now what am I? A mentally ill loser doped up on drugs with a ****ty 2:2 degree. 
I'm also not going to do the self-esteem group because I'm "too paranoid" for it. I hate myself, I really thought it might help me but no, apparently I can't cope with being in a group right now.
To be fair I do feel pretty ****ing paranoid right now, everytime I go out literally everyone is staring and laughing and commenting on how fat and ugly I am. Just walking down the street is turning into an epic quest, thank **** mp3 players were invented. I feel so pathetic and awful. Still getting massive urges to kill myself, the whole lack of help thing really isn't doing anything to quell those feelings.
I feel so pathetic. My life has been reduced to taking numerous antipsychotics at ridiculous doses in the hope that it will do something to help. When I was at school I had so much potential, I probably could have excelled at anything at university. Now what am I? A mentally ill loser doped up on drugs with a ****ty 2:2 degree. I'm also not going to do the self-esteem group because I'm "too paranoid" for it. I hate myself, I really thought it might help me but no, apparently I can't cope with being in a group right now.
To be fair I do feel pretty ****ing paranoid right now, everytime I go out literally everyone is staring and laughing and commenting on how fat and ugly I am. Just walking down the street is turning into an epic quest, thank **** mp3 players were invented. I feel so pathetic and awful. Still getting massive urges to kill myself, the whole lack of help thing really isn't doing anything to quell those feelings.
Meeting with advisor went well I think.
For the first ten minutes I was thinking "uh ohhhh", but after I asked a few questions I think I should be able to just start again next year.
There was some talk about "it might not get accepted" and "medical evidence needed", but tbh I can't think of many circumstances more likely to be called "extenuating" than essentially having a breakdown and being hospitalised. If they don't agree then I'll **** the degree, throw some things in a rucksack and start living on the move.
If only I had the balls.
For the first ten minutes I was thinking "uh ohhhh", but after I asked a few questions I think I should be able to just start again next year.
There was some talk about "it might not get accepted" and "medical evidence needed", but tbh I can't think of many circumstances more likely to be called "extenuating" than essentially having a breakdown and being hospitalised. If they don't agree then I'll **** the degree, throw some things in a rucksack and start living on the move.
Original post by Phoenix07
I am so tired, not sleeping much again at the moment, but really don't want to get up and go out, it is pouring down outside but need to go do work
flu seems to be on the way to getting better, my housemate gave me vitamin c tablets which do seem to be helping although they tasted horrible! but the chest pains are back, they seemed to clear up a bit while i had the flu but they are back with a vengeance now
but hows you doing today hun?
flu seems to be on the way to getting better, my housemate gave me vitamin c tablets which do seem to be helping although they tasted horrible! but the chest pains are back, they seemed to clear up a bit while i had the flu but they are back with a vengeance now
but hows you doing today hun?
Hey, I'm feeling pretty tired now. But we covered so much work it's no surprise I feel stuffed. Just had the home made pie I made this morning... Was yummy. Even more sincefor the last 3 days I have gotten cold and wet.
Sorry to hear about the chest pains... Wish I could say something that could help.... Sorry
Original post by Anonymous
I very much doubt he would, from what I can gather he is very fond of you!
Thanks, it was ok. We were talking for an hour and a half She said I have clinical depression and was talking through treatments which she thinks will be counselling and medication. She mentioned going into hospital but then said being around other depressed people would be bad for me at the moment. Talking to her about my plans was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do and I kind of wish I didn't. She's coming back to see me on Friday so I'll see what happens then. She was going on about how I am in a high risk group and how she doesn't use that phrase very often. I read what she was writing about me and it's so odd reading it about myself, seems far more serious. She phoned my mum and told her everything. My mum greeted me home from school crying and hugging me saying if I ever did try to it would kill her, I feel so trapped. Feel so guilty when I want it so much. I know she's just showing her love with the hugging but she has hugged me more in the last few days than she has done in my entire life, I don't really like it. I kind of feel guilty because I wonder why anybody would want to love me like that, I'm not all that great. Came home and found she has SH proofed my room, feel terrible about it all
My RE teacher who I spoke to asked me how I was getting on so I was telling her about the appointment and how I left about taking medication for depression. She went on about how she takes antidepressants and how much they have helped her and how it is all about finding the right one. It was nice that she trusted me with that, I appreciated it
Oh and I also might have punched a year 7 whotripped me up tried to trip me up. Hurled some foul language at him after the punch but he just laughed at me.
Thanks, it was ok. We were talking for an hour and a half
She said I have clinical depression and was talking through treatments which she thinks will be counselling and medication. She mentioned going into hospital but then said being around other depressed people would be bad for me at the moment. Talking to her about my plans was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do and I kind of wish I didn't. She's coming back to see me on Friday so I'll see what happens then. She was going on about how I am in a high risk group and how she doesn't use that phrase very often. I read what she was writing about me and it's so odd reading it about myself, seems far more serious. She phoned my mum and told her everything. My mum greeted me home from school crying and hugging me saying if I ever did try to it would kill her, I feel so trapped. Feel so guilty when I want it so much. I know she's just showing her love with the hugging but she has hugged me more in the last few days than she has done in my entire life, I don't really like it. I kind of feel guilty because I wonder why anybody would want to love me like that, I'm not all that great. Came home and found she has SH proofed my room, feel terrible about it all My RE teacher who I spoke to asked me how I was getting on so I was telling her about the appointment and how I left about taking medication for depression. She went on about how she takes antidepressants and how much they have helped her and how it is all about finding the right one. It was nice that she trusted me with that, I appreciated it
Oh and I also might have punched a year 7 who
God knows why.
Good that they were talking about treatments, hopefully you'll find something that helps.
Was really great that you managed to tell her!
I guess it's a lot to take in. You can't help how you feel. Yeah you are, you just can't see it at the moment.
That was nice, sounds like she really cares.
At least you gave him what he deserved.
Feeling quite good! 
Had an amazing day in school, even if the first part was pretty much all mock exam 
. I'm sure I did brilliantly . Then I came back after my free period (unlike last week ) for ICT, and had a lot of fun there too.
If only the weather was anywhere near as good
Now, I need to do revision and homework. Then I hope tomorrow is just as good. Have got to do ICT after school tomorrow though (my friend roped me in ).
Had an amazing day in school, even if the first part was pretty much all mock exam . I'm sure I did brilliantly . Then I came back after my free period (unlike last week ) for ICT, and had a lot of fun there too.If only the weather was anywhere near as good
Now, I need to do revision and homework. Then I hope tomorrow is just as good. Have got to do ICT after school tomorrow though
(my friend roped me in ).
Original post by avhhs
Feeling quite good! Had an amazing day in school, even if the first part was pretty much all mock exam . I'm sure I did brilliantly . Then I came back after my free period (unlike last week ) for ICT, and had a lot of fun there too.
If only the weather was anywhere near as good
Now, I need to do revision and homework. Then I hope tomorrow is just as good. Have got to do ICT after school tomorrow though (my friend roped me in ).
Had an amazing day in school, even if the first part was pretty much all mock exam . I'm sure I did brilliantly . Then I came back after my free period (unlike last week ) for ICT, and had a lot of fun there too.If only the weather was anywhere near as good
Now, I need to do revision and homework. Then I hope tomorrow is just as good. Have got to do ICT after school tomorrow though
(my friend roped me in ).its good to have friends that get you to do work :P Good to have friends that get you to do anything, really
I know i'd be a lot worse off if i didn't have the mates i do.Original post by Anonymous
I very much doubt he would, from what I can gather he is very fond of you!
Thanks, it was ok. We were talking for an hour and a half She said I have clinical depression and was talking through treatments which she thinks will be counselling and medication. She mentioned going into hospital but then said being around other depressed people would be bad for me at the moment. Talking to her about my plans was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do and I kind of wish I didn't. She's coming back to see me on Friday so I'll see what happens then. She was going on about how I am in a high risk group and how she doesn't use that phrase very often. I read what she was writing about me and it's so odd reading it about myself, seems far more serious. She phoned my mum and told her everything. My mum greeted me home from school crying and hugging me saying if I ever did try to it would kill her, I feel so trapped. Feel so guilty when I want it so much. I know she's just showing her love with the hugging but she has hugged me more in the last few days than she has done in my entire life, I don't really like it. I kind of feel guilty because I wonder why anybody would want to love me like that, I'm not all that great. Came home and found she has SH proofed my room, feel terrible about it all
My RE teacher who I spoke to asked me how I was getting on so I was telling her about the appointment and how I left about taking medication for depression. She went on about how she takes antidepressants and how much they have helped her and how it is all about finding the right one. It was nice that she trusted me with that, I appreciated it
Oh and I also might have punched a year 7 whotripped me up tried to trip me up. Hurled some foul language at him after the punch but he just laughed at me.
Thanks, it was ok. We were talking for an hour and a half
She said I have clinical depression and was talking through treatments which she thinks will be counselling and medication. She mentioned going into hospital but then said being around other depressed people would be bad for me at the moment. Talking to her about my plans was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do and I kind of wish I didn't. She's coming back to see me on Friday so I'll see what happens then. She was going on about how I am in a high risk group and how she doesn't use that phrase very often. I read what she was writing about me and it's so odd reading it about myself, seems far more serious. She phoned my mum and told her everything. My mum greeted me home from school crying and hugging me saying if I ever did try to it would kill her, I feel so trapped. Feel so guilty when I want it so much. I know she's just showing her love with the hugging but she has hugged me more in the last few days than she has done in my entire life, I don't really like it. I kind of feel guilty because I wonder why anybody would want to love me like that, I'm not all that great. Came home and found she has SH proofed my room, feel terrible about it all My RE teacher who I spoke to asked me how I was getting on so I was telling her about the appointment and how I left about taking medication for depression. She went on about how she takes antidepressants and how much they have helped her and how it is all about finding the right one. It was nice that she trusted me with that, I appreciated it
Oh and I also might have punched a year 7 who
Hey, just to try to reassure you a little about when they say "high risk". Whilst it is serious, it isn't something that you need to worry about. Part of a clinicians job is to broadly categorise how serious the situation is with each patient on their books, in part to prevent an avoidable tragedies or abuse from occurring.
The way that you are feeling at the moment to put you in that 'high risk' category is clearly really horrible and I wouldn't wish those feelings on anybody, but it shows at least that they are taking you and your concerns seriously, which is very good, and hopefully will mean you get intensive and supportive care, and even though it may feel a little smothering to begin with, it will be worth it and it will help.
I was in the 'high risk' category when I was with CAMHS because I was on the government 'at risk' register and social services were making sure I hadn't been abused, and it just meant that I saw a clinician more often and they always took me seriously (I'm sure they take all their patients as seriously, but you know what I mean - it helps to have the reassurance that they know what they're doing
).Also given that there is a pretty serious shortage in adolescent beds in the NHS (though I think over 16s are allowed to be admitted to adult wards in certain circumstances, there aren't a large number of those beds available either), the doctor is unlikely to recommend hospitalisation unless they really think it's necessary, in which case I would encourage you to take their opinion on board. I know how scary the idea of it can be - I was only admitted for the first time earlier this year and was petrified, but I settled in within about a day. It's an intense environment, but I found that I bonded with patients quickly because a lot of them were in a very similar situation to me.
Often it is the case that even though a person is technically "safe" in hospital, it wouldn't do anything to improve their mental state, as was the case for me last year when the crisis team saw me and phoned me instead.
sometimes the things we cant change
end up changing us xoxoxo stay strong
end up changing us xoxoxo stay strong
struggles make you stronger
changes make you wiser xoxoxoxo
changes make you wiser xoxoxoxo
Original post by warp2125
Hey, I'm feeling pretty tired now. But we covered so much work it's no surprise I feel stuffed. Just had the home made pie I made this morning... Was yummy. Even more sincefor the last 3 days I have gotten cold and wet.
Sorry to hear about the chest pains... Wish I could say something that could help.... Sorry
Sorry to hear about the chest pains... Wish I could say something that could help.... Sorry
Nah don't worry about it hun, don't expect you to say anything! flu is definitely getting better but everything else is just getting so much worse today! Really have just been complaining at you for quite a while now so will stop! Sorry for turning so rubbish all of a sudden, just kind of giving up with things at the moment!
Glad you managed to get work done and glad you enjoyed your pie
hope you're alright though hun!Original post by Phoenix07
Nah don't worry about it hun, don't expect you to say anything! flu is definitely getting better but everything else is just getting so much worse today! Really have just been complaining at you for quite a while now so will stop! Sorry for turning so rubbish all of a sudden, just kind of giving up with things at the moment!
Glad you managed to get work done and glad you enjoyed your pie hope you're alright though hun!
Glad you managed to get work done and glad you enjoyed your pie
hope you're alright though hun!Hey, now if I can't give up nither can you! We all have down days... Some more the others. Just pick at least one good thing you have and remember it.
My interaction with my flatmates has reached an all time low and now consists of "hi" on the stairs and the occassional moan about the price of tobacco outside the front door. 
Original post by warp2125
Hey, now if I can't give up nither can you! We all have down days... Some more the others. Just pick at least one good thing you have and remember it.
Normally I go through phases, were one day my anxiety takes over everything and I can't do anything but I am constantly panicking about death and ****! then the next day my depression gets so bad that I don't see the point in anything! but now it just seems that both have got really bad today, so I am panicking about everything and not seeing the point, it's a bad mix! Sorry I'll stop! Glad you are alright today hun!
well, im off then, bye bye TSR.
meh day today.
i go through little cycles of hating meds, doing something naughty
and then being glad i'm on meds and waiting for them to kick back in again.
i think they've turned me into a bit of a meek loser. don't really know what to do being "normal" all the time. i'm just kind of bored with myself and i buy things all the time because i'm so ****ting bored it's unbelievable.
i go through little cycles of hating meds, doing something naughty
and then being glad i'm on meds and waiting for them to kick back in again.i think they've turned me into a bit of a meek loser. don't really know what to do being "normal" all the time. i'm just kind of bored with myself and i buy things all the time because i'm so ****ting bored it's unbelievable.
Original post by SciFiBoy
well, im off then, bye bye TSR.
meaning?
Original post by Phoenix07
Normally I go through phases, were one day my anxiety takes over everything and I can't do anything but I am constantly panicking about death and ****! then the next day my depression gets so bad that I don't see the point in anything! but now it just seems that both have got really bad today, so I am panicking about everything and not seeing the point, it's a bad mix! Sorry I'll stop! Glad you are alright today hun!
Its ok... I know the feeling. Some days your not sure if your coming or going. You just had me worried for a min there.
Yea Im ok... got my head stuck in research mode.... although frankly its not going well...I think tomorrow might be a library day..... lol.. I can build myself a fort out of books and defend against enemy course work..lol
As you can see Im gradually drifting off into a fantasy land... all thats missing is Hayley Williams in a tight dress
Do meds really help you that much?
How does anyone muster up enough courage to go to the doctors and ask for help?
Any help would be greatly appreciated
How does anyone muster up enough courage to go to the doctors and ask for help?
Any help would be greatly appreciated
Younger sister has been picking fault and has been a bitch to me the past 2 days. Today we had a stupid fight over my xbox and me a) wanting to play it before I left her with it again and b) me not wanting a vicious little bitch to play with my things. Somehow it escalated and she threatened to punch me. Knowing it's impossible to hurt her (she's always in fights and I'm the little delicate one or something) and said it was pointless to even try to punch her because she's too stupid and feel pain. I said I'd embarrass her on Facebook again (she stopped talking to me for a week after people found out her real name after I called her on really awful cyber bullying). She then flew at me hands raised and just kept screaming at me.
Somehow I ended up ducking out of the way of her punch and ended up on top of her with my arm across her throat.
My parents ripped us apart, shouted at us both and I ended up storming out in the rain for about 30 minutes until I couldn't stay out much longer without ruining my stupid laptop because my bag was so wet.
I'm now home and she's stormed out. I was already feeling stupidly delicate and my dad is all lovely towards her and is ignoring my existence. They've spent the past week bitching about the stuff I bought home with me when I came back for Easter. It's like they have an amazing ability to make me feel unwanted while making her out to be some special magic flower where in fact she's on the dole, is a complete inconsiderate moron and just goes out looking for fights.
All they do to me is mock me for being at university, probably never getting a job and it's just stupid that even at the age of 25 I'm still treated like a small child.
I'm just a shaking, whimpering and soggy mess and I missed an online meeting I really need to attend and I'm just stuck here. Really wishing I could disappear. I'll never be anything to them and I'll never make them proud.
Somehow I ended up ducking out of the way of her punch and ended up on top of her with my arm across her throat.
My parents ripped us apart, shouted at us both and I ended up storming out in the rain for about 30 minutes until I couldn't stay out much longer without ruining my stupid laptop because my bag was so wet.
I'm now home and she's stormed out. I was already feeling stupidly delicate and my dad is all lovely towards her and is ignoring my existence. They've spent the past week bitching about the stuff I bought home with me when I came back for Easter. It's like they have an amazing ability to make me feel unwanted while making her out to be some special magic flower where in fact she's on the dole, is a complete inconsiderate moron and just goes out looking for fights.
All they do to me is mock me for being at university, probably never getting a job and it's just stupid that even at the age of 25 I'm still treated like a small child.
I'm just a shaking, whimpering and soggy mess and I missed an online meeting I really need to attend and I'm just stuck here. Really wishing I could disappear. I'll never be anything to them and I'll never make them proud.
