No one ever deserves to be raped.
I’m going to say that again. No one ever deserves to be raped. It is never your fault that you were raped. It is never justifiable to deny someone aid after they were raped because they were irresponsible or careless. Rape is a horrible thing to happen to any human being, and you will never see any of us say that a victim “had it coming”.
That being said.
This blog has, on a number of occasions, been accused of “victim-blaming”; that is to say, insinuating that someone “got what was coming to them” or something like that. We thought, then, that it’d be prudent to write up a short explanation of what victim-blaming really is, and why simply pointing out how an incident could have been avoided doesn’t count.
First, let’s apply the “you could have prevented that” model to a few other crimes.
Someone’s house is burglarized, they left their door unlocked.
“You could have prevented that if you’d remembered to lock your door.”
Someone’s car is stolen, they left their key in the ignition.
“You could have prevented that if you’d taken the keys with you.”
Someone gets drunk at a party, passes out, and wakes up with Sharpie all over their face.
“You could have prevented that if you’d drunk responsibly.”
Are any of these victim blaming? No, they’re not. Victim blaming would be to say “It’s your own damn fault that your (house was burgled/car was stolen/face was defaced), because you didn’t take (steps to protect yourself).”
See the difference? In the end, the only person who is responsible for the burglary/theft/graffiti is the person who did it, but nonetheless we can understand that certain things would have prevented it. We as a society work very hard to teach people to take those various steps (lock your doors, don’t leave the keys in the ignition, drink responsibly) even though we understand that it’s not the victims fault. It’s a line that we have to straddle between advocating common sense and blaming victims for the actions of criminals.
If a woman who was raped had gone to a rave, taken ecstasy and blacked out, that doesn’t...
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