Please grade, tell me what to improve asap!!!!
HOW DOES STIENBECK PRESENT CURLY'S WIFE IN THE BOOK OF MICE AND MEN? Of Mice and Menis set in 1930s America. It representsthe theme of dreams, amongst others, and also shows dreams being crushed. Thenovel deals with the Great Depression and gives readers an insight into howlife was dealt with back then. John Steinbeck worked on the ranches during thegreat depression; this gave him the great insight to write “Of mice and men”. Curely'swife, in the novel, is portrayed in a specifically negative way; however her behaviorcan be interpreted on many different levels.
Steinbeck never gives Curley’s Wife aname. This is done to show that she doesnot have any identity or position on the ranch. As Curley’s Wife is a representation of all women in the 1930s I feelSteinbeck uses her to show that she does not have any identity or position onthe ranch. As Curley’s Wife is arepresentation of all women in the 1930s I feel Steinbeck uses her to show thatmost women back then had no identity or position in the working world.
Steinbeck uses methods ofintroduction to show the reader the hardships of women in the 1930s. Steinbeck never introduces Curley’s Wifethroughout the novella. I feel Steinbeckdoes this to show that although to the reader she is an important character, sheis insignificant in the 1930s society. However Curley’s wife upon meeting George and Lennie never introducesherself. This shows that the characterherself feels insignificant in society. She feels that she is unwanted and no one cares for her so no one wouldneed to know her name. Curely’s Wife isalso only introduced to other people as “Curley’s Wife”, I think that Steinbeckdoes this to show that Curley, her husband, is in possession of her, like somany other women in 1930 in other situations.
No characters in the novella care forCurley’s Wife and very little attention is given to her. However many of the men only see her as anobject. I think Steinbeck conveys that idea by his description of her. When we and George and Lennie are first introducedto her, Steinbeck takes a long time to describe her. ‘She had full rouged lips and wide-spacedeyes, heavily made up. Her finger nailswere red. Her hair hung in littleclusters, like sausages…’ This I feelSteinbeck uses to present Curley’s Wife as an object to the men andsociety. It is to show that Curley’swife is worth as much as she is wearing.
But Steinbeck doesn’t only use thedescription of what she is wearing; he also fully describes her actions. This is to show the physical awareness themen have towards her. ‘She put her handsbehind her back and leaned against the door frame so that her body was thrownforward’ Steinbeck’s description ofCurley’s Wife’s actions, I think, is to not only describe the men’s physicalawareness, but to show the desperation of Curely’s Wife and the women in the1930s.
Steinbeck presents the men’sreactions towards her as hostile through the use of language. When George first meets her he responds toher ‘brusquely’. I think this is to showthe hesitance men have towards Curley’s Wife. I feel Steinbeck not only does this to make us feel sympathy towardsCurley’s Wife and women in the 1930s, but also towards men in the 1930s as theyhave to be extremely careful and hostile so they can keep their jobs.
This is the contrast Steinbeck istrying to make towards Lennie’s reaction. As Lennie does not understand normalsocial behaviour he is in awe of Curley’s Wife. I think Steinbeck does this to show that two people who don’t fit intosociety are maybe the ones that do.
John Steinbeck uses different methodsto present Curley’s Wife and women in the 1930s. I fell Steinbeck uses Curley’s Wife as arepresentation of injustice in the 1930s. Steinbeck presents the character of Curley’s Wife as manipulative;however I feel he only does this to make us feel sympathy to Curley’s Wife andwomen in the 1930s. The fact thatCurley’s wife has to be manipulative to get attention which she is so starvedfor does not kill any sympathy that the reader could have for her but drives itso that the reader is more sympathetic. I also feel that Steinbeck uses Curley’s wife as a reflection on men inthe 1930s as they are manipulative yet despise Curley’s wife because she is manipulative;they do not realise that it is them that made her so in the first place. I feel that ‘Of Mice and Men’ is a perfectrepresentation of the treatment of human beings in the 1920s.
Steinbeck never gives Curley’s Wife aname. This is done to show that she doesnot have any identity or position on the ranch. As Curley’s Wife is a representation of all women in the 1930s I feelSteinbeck uses her to show that she does not have any identity or position onthe ranch. As Curley’s Wife is arepresentation of all women in the 1930s I feel Steinbeck uses her to show thatmost women back then had no identity or position in the working world.
Steinbeck uses methods ofintroduction to show the reader the hardships of women in the 1930s. Steinbeck never introduces Curley’s Wifethroughout the novella. I feel Steinbeckdoes this to show that although to the reader she is an important character, sheis insignificant in the 1930s society. However Curley’s wife upon meeting George and Lennie never introducesherself. This shows that the characterherself feels insignificant in society. She feels that she is unwanted and no one cares for her so no one wouldneed to know her name. Curely’s Wife isalso only introduced to other people as “Curley’s Wife”, I think that Steinbeckdoes this to show that Curley, her husband, is in possession of her, like somany other women in 1930 in other situations.
No characters in the novella care forCurley’s Wife and very little attention is given to her. However many of the men only see her as anobject. I think Steinbeck conveys that idea by his description of her. When we and George and Lennie are first introducedto her, Steinbeck takes a long time to describe her. ‘She had full rouged lips and wide-spacedeyes, heavily made up. Her finger nailswere red. Her hair hung in littleclusters, like sausages…’ This I feelSteinbeck uses to present Curley’s Wife as an object to the men andsociety. It is to show that Curley’swife is worth as much as she is wearing.
But Steinbeck doesn’t only use thedescription of what she is wearing; he also fully describes her actions. This is to show the physical awareness themen have towards her. ‘She put her handsbehind her back and leaned against the door frame so that her body was thrownforward’ Steinbeck’s description ofCurley’s Wife’s actions, I think, is to not only describe the men’s physicalawareness, but to show the desperation of Curely’s Wife and the women in the1930s.
Steinbeck presents the men’sreactions towards her as hostile through the use of language. When George first meets her he responds toher ‘brusquely’. I think this is to showthe hesitance men have towards Curley’s Wife. I feel Steinbeck not only does this to make us feel sympathy towardsCurley’s Wife and women in the 1930s, but also towards men in the 1930s as theyhave to be extremely careful and hostile so they can keep their jobs.
This is the contrast Steinbeck istrying to make towards Lennie’s reaction. As Lennie does not understand normalsocial behaviour he is in awe of Curley’s Wife. I think Steinbeck does this to show that two people who don’t fit intosociety are maybe the ones that do.
John Steinbeck uses different methodsto present Curley’s Wife and women in the 1930s. I fell Steinbeck uses Curley’s Wife as arepresentation of injustice in the 1930s. Steinbeck presents the character of Curley’s Wife as manipulative;however I feel he only does this to make us feel sympathy to Curley’s Wife andwomen in the 1930s. The fact thatCurley’s wife has to be manipulative to get attention which she is so starvedfor does not kill any sympathy that the reader could have for her but drives itso that the reader is more sympathetic. I also feel that Steinbeck uses Curley’s wife as a reflection on men inthe 1930s as they are manipulative yet despise Curley’s wife because she is manipulative;they do not realise that it is them that made her so in the first place. I feel that ‘Of Mice and Men’ is a perfectrepresentation of the treatment of human beings in the 1920s.
I would give it a B at GCSE and a C at A-Level.
My advice would be to expand your points, well unless you are on a word limit. E.g. 'No characters in the novella care forCurley’s Wife and very little attention is given to her' ... this backs up the idea that Curley's wife is insignificant but also shows how ... 'many of the men only see her as anobject.' ... 'Steinbeck conveys that idea by his description of her.' Never use 'I think'... just never do it, no-one cares about your view is what I was taught,
Go to town on this quote '‘She had full rouged lips and wide-spacedeyes, heavily made up. Her finger nailswere red. Her hair hung in littleclusters, like sausages…’ ', you chose an excellent quote but explain how she is 'heavily made-up' and this shows the fickle way that women see themselves in the 1930's and how the importance to look like a lady was huge. Make a really big deal of how she makes a huge effort on her appearance even in such a dirty environment, because maybe her looks is all she has... Red is also a whore colour.
You also repeat your self here ' As Curley’s Wife is a representation of all women in the 1930s I feelSteinbeck uses her to show that she does not have any identity or position onthe ranch. As Curley’s Wife is arepresentation of all women in the 1930s I feel Steinbeck uses her to show thatmost women back then had no identity or position in the working world.' So you could make this into one sentence you would still appear to show two points but it would sound better.
I don't want to comb through the whole thing, but you can see what I am getting at...
Source: I got an A in GCSE and did Of Mice and Men, and got A-Level English Lit in which I got B's in my coursework.
EDIT: I thought it would help to know that I am training to be a GCSE teacher
My advice would be to expand your points, well unless you are on a word limit. E.g. 'No characters in the novella care forCurley’s Wife and very little attention is given to her' ... this backs up the idea that Curley's wife is insignificant but also shows how ... 'many of the men only see her as anobject.' ... 'Steinbeck conveys that idea by his description of her.' Never use 'I think'... just never do it, no-one cares about your view is what I was taught,
Go to town on this quote '‘She had full rouged lips and wide-spacedeyes, heavily made up. Her finger nailswere red. Her hair hung in littleclusters, like sausages…’ ', you chose an excellent quote but explain how she is 'heavily made-up' and this shows the fickle way that women see themselves in the 1930's and how the importance to look like a lady was huge. Make a really big deal of how she makes a huge effort on her appearance even in such a dirty environment, because maybe her looks is all she has... Red is also a whore colour.
You also repeat your self here ' As Curley’s Wife is a representation of all women in the 1930s I feelSteinbeck uses her to show that she does not have any identity or position onthe ranch. As Curley’s Wife is arepresentation of all women in the 1930s I feel Steinbeck uses her to show thatmost women back then had no identity or position in the working world.' So you could make this into one sentence you would still appear to show two points but it would sound better.
I don't want to comb through the whole thing, but you can see what I am getting at...
Source: I got an A in GCSE and did Of Mice and Men, and got A-Level English Lit in which I got B's in my coursework.
EDIT: I thought it would help to know that I am training to be a GCSE teacher
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by kayleecook98
HOW DOES STIENBECK PRESENT CURLY'S WIFE IN THE BOOK OF MICE AND MEN? Of Mice and Menis set in 1930s America. It representsthe theme of dreams, amongst others, and also shows dreams being crushed. Thenovel deals with the Great Depression and gives readers an insight into howlife was dealt with back then. John Steinbeck worked on the ranches during thegreat depression; this gave him the great insight to write “Of mice and men”. Curely'swife, in the novel, is portrayed in a specifically negative way; however her behaviorcan be interpreted on many different levels.
Steinbeck never gives Curley’s Wife aname. This is done to show that she doesnot have any identity or position on the ranch. As Curley’s Wife is a representation of all women in the 1930s I feelSteinbeck uses her to show that she does not have any identity or position onthe ranch. As Curley’s Wife is arepresentation of all women in the 1930s I feel Steinbeck uses her to show thatmost women back then had no identity or position in the working world.
Steinbeck uses methods ofintroduction to show the reader the hardships of women in the 1930s. Steinbeck never introduces Curley’s Wifethroughout the novella. I feel Steinbeckdoes this to show that although to the reader she is an important character, sheis insignificant in the 1930s society. However Curley’s wife upon meeting George and Lennie never introducesherself. This shows that the characterherself feels insignificant in society. She feels that she is unwanted and no one cares for her so no one wouldneed to know her name. Curely’s Wife isalso only introduced to other people as “Curley’s Wife”, I think that Steinbeckdoes this to show that Curley, her husband, is in possession of her, like somany other women in 1930 in other situations.
No characters in the novella care forCurley’s Wife and very little attention is given to her. However many of the men only see her as anobject. I think Steinbeck conveys that idea by his description of her. When we and George and Lennie are first introducedto her, Steinbeck takes a long time to describe her. ‘She had full rouged lips and wide-spacedeyes, heavily made up. Her finger nailswere red. Her hair hung in littleclusters, like sausages…’ This I feelSteinbeck uses to present Curley’s Wife as an object to the men andsociety. It is to show that Curley’swife is worth as much as she is wearing.
But Steinbeck doesn’t only use thedescription of what she is wearing; he also fully describes her actions. This is to show the physical awareness themen have towards her. ‘She put her handsbehind her back and leaned against the door frame so that her body was thrownforward’ Steinbeck’s description ofCurley’s Wife’s actions, I think, is to not only describe the men’s physicalawareness, but to show the desperation of Curely’s Wife and the women in the1930s.
Steinbeck presents the men’sreactions towards her as hostile through the use of language. When George first meets her he responds toher ‘brusquely’. I think this is to showthe hesitance men have towards Curley’s Wife. I feel Steinbeck not only does this to make us feel sympathy towardsCurley’s Wife and women in the 1930s, but also towards men in the 1930s as theyhave to be extremely careful and hostile so they can keep their jobs.
This is the contrast Steinbeck istrying to make towards Lennie’s reaction. As Lennie does not understand normalsocial behaviour he is in awe of Curley’s Wife. I think Steinbeck does this to show that two people who don’t fit intosociety are maybe the ones that do.
John Steinbeck uses different methodsto present Curley’s Wife and women in the 1930s. I fell Steinbeck uses Curley’s Wife as arepresentation of injustice in the 1930s. Steinbeck presents the character of Curley’s Wife as manipulative;however I feel he only does this to make us feel sympathy to Curley’s Wife andwomen in the 1930s. The fact thatCurley’s wife has to be manipulative to get attention which she is so starvedfor does not kill any sympathy that the reader could have for her but drives itso that the reader is more sympathetic. I also feel that Steinbeck uses Curley’s wife as a reflection on men inthe 1930s as they are manipulative yet despise Curley’s wife because she is manipulative;they do not realise that it is them that made her so in the first place. I feel that ‘Of Mice and Men’ is a perfectrepresentation of the treatment of human beings in the 1920s.
Steinbeck never gives Curley’s Wife aname. This is done to show that she doesnot have any identity or position on the ranch. As Curley’s Wife is a representation of all women in the 1930s I feelSteinbeck uses her to show that she does not have any identity or position onthe ranch. As Curley’s Wife is arepresentation of all women in the 1930s I feel Steinbeck uses her to show thatmost women back then had no identity or position in the working world.
Steinbeck uses methods ofintroduction to show the reader the hardships of women in the 1930s. Steinbeck never introduces Curley’s Wifethroughout the novella. I feel Steinbeckdoes this to show that although to the reader she is an important character, sheis insignificant in the 1930s society. However Curley’s wife upon meeting George and Lennie never introducesherself. This shows that the characterherself feels insignificant in society. She feels that she is unwanted and no one cares for her so no one wouldneed to know her name. Curely’s Wife isalso only introduced to other people as “Curley’s Wife”, I think that Steinbeckdoes this to show that Curley, her husband, is in possession of her, like somany other women in 1930 in other situations.
No characters in the novella care forCurley’s Wife and very little attention is given to her. However many of the men only see her as anobject. I think Steinbeck conveys that idea by his description of her. When we and George and Lennie are first introducedto her, Steinbeck takes a long time to describe her. ‘She had full rouged lips and wide-spacedeyes, heavily made up. Her finger nailswere red. Her hair hung in littleclusters, like sausages…’ This I feelSteinbeck uses to present Curley’s Wife as an object to the men andsociety. It is to show that Curley’swife is worth as much as she is wearing.
But Steinbeck doesn’t only use thedescription of what she is wearing; he also fully describes her actions. This is to show the physical awareness themen have towards her. ‘She put her handsbehind her back and leaned against the door frame so that her body was thrownforward’ Steinbeck’s description ofCurley’s Wife’s actions, I think, is to not only describe the men’s physicalawareness, but to show the desperation of Curely’s Wife and the women in the1930s.
Steinbeck presents the men’sreactions towards her as hostile through the use of language. When George first meets her he responds toher ‘brusquely’. I think this is to showthe hesitance men have towards Curley’s Wife. I feel Steinbeck not only does this to make us feel sympathy towardsCurley’s Wife and women in the 1930s, but also towards men in the 1930s as theyhave to be extremely careful and hostile so they can keep their jobs.
This is the contrast Steinbeck istrying to make towards Lennie’s reaction. As Lennie does not understand normalsocial behaviour he is in awe of Curley’s Wife. I think Steinbeck does this to show that two people who don’t fit intosociety are maybe the ones that do.
John Steinbeck uses different methodsto present Curley’s Wife and women in the 1930s. I fell Steinbeck uses Curley’s Wife as arepresentation of injustice in the 1930s. Steinbeck presents the character of Curley’s Wife as manipulative;however I feel he only does this to make us feel sympathy to Curley’s Wife andwomen in the 1930s. The fact thatCurley’s wife has to be manipulative to get attention which she is so starvedfor does not kill any sympathy that the reader could have for her but drives itso that the reader is more sympathetic. I also feel that Steinbeck uses Curley’s wife as a reflection on men inthe 1930s as they are manipulative yet despise Curley’s wife because she is manipulative;they do not realise that it is them that made her so in the first place. I feel that ‘Of Mice and Men’ is a perfectrepresentation of the treatment of human beings in the 1920s.
(I know there is an issue with the copying of a doc onto tsr so I won't mention the words which are moved together. It happened with my personal statement as well, it was so annoying.)
From reading the first couple paragraphs, it would probably be around a C/B at GCSE. At A level, maybe an E (but that's obviously irrelevant as Of Mice and Men is a GCSE book.)
Ways to improve:
-Place quotations in the sentence, rather than creating a whole sentence of just the quote.
-Instead of writing 'I feel', try just starting the sentence without it. Or if you want to have a variant 'One may infer that' would be more effective as higher grade works are in third person.
-Try varying sentence length a bit more, as most of them are short, simple sentences.
-Your explanations need to be in more depth, they seem more like an expanded point in some places.
-Try using an online thesaurus as you repeat the same phrase or word multiple times in the same sentence/paragraph. (However this can be risky unless you double check the words can be used in the same way)
-If it's suppose to be done in word, use whole line gaps between paragraphs, if hand written, use indentations.
But overall it's quite a good piece and your points seem solid. Congrats
Edit: Looked above, they have some good points. Just as they have, I got an A in GCSE Eng lit and an A at AS.
(edited 10 years ago)
Hi kayleecook98
I'm no teacher, so please feel free to use or ignore my comments as you see fit!
If I gave you a grade it would only be I guess, so I'm not going to! I've recently finished English Lit A Level, by the way.
These are my thoughts:
You have a habit of beginning sentences in the same way, even right next to each other ("Steinbeck ... Steinbeck ...", "I feel ... I feel"). If you can vary the composition or your sentences your essay will become more enjoyable to read. Steinbeck, for example, could be sometimes described as the 'author' or 'writer' to help you vary your writing. Sometimes you'll want to take about the 'narrator' instead of Steinbeck (the narrator and author can be very different to one another - it's good to acknowledge this).
Sentences such as "I feel..." and "I think" are a little unhelpful because everything you write is what you think (or it should be!). Most teachers advise not to write in the first person ever. I disagree, but I would only use the technique very rarely (at most once in an essay of the above size) to give particular emphasis to a very important point.
Added to this, in some places you could be more assertive in the way you write: compare "I think Steinbeck conveys that idea by his description" with "Steinbeck uses description to convey x, y, z...". See the difference? You'll sound more authoritative.
Sometimes you appear a little vague, as in "her behaviour can be interpreted on many different levels". Try to set out the "different levels" you mean: are you looking at her from a feminist or psychoanalytical perspective? Are you interpreting her in comparison to, say, Crooks, or as a by product of post-colonial society? Try to be more precise in the way you write and you'll be more precise in the way you think!
Finally, examiners will like it if you use "technical" language. Instead of simply quoting the word ‘brusquely’, you could describe Steinbeck's use of the adverb 'brusquely'. Smaller quotes like this are often preferable to longer ones because they encourage you to closely analyse the text.
There's a lot to improve on, but you also have a lot to be pleased with in your writing. Keep up the good work!
I'm no teacher, so please feel free to use or ignore my comments as you see fit!
If I gave you a grade it would only be I guess, so I'm not going to! I've recently finished English Lit A Level, by the way.
These are my thoughts:
You have a habit of beginning sentences in the same way, even right next to each other ("Steinbeck ... Steinbeck ...", "I feel ... I feel"). If you can vary the composition or your sentences your essay will become more enjoyable to read. Steinbeck, for example, could be sometimes described as the 'author' or 'writer' to help you vary your writing. Sometimes you'll want to take about the 'narrator' instead of Steinbeck (the narrator and author can be very different to one another - it's good to acknowledge this).
Sentences such as "I feel..." and "I think" are a little unhelpful because everything you write is what you think (or it should be!). Most teachers advise not to write in the first person ever. I disagree, but I would only use the technique very rarely (at most once in an essay of the above size) to give particular emphasis to a very important point.
Added to this, in some places you could be more assertive in the way you write: compare "I think Steinbeck conveys that idea by his description" with "Steinbeck uses description to convey x, y, z...". See the difference? You'll sound more authoritative.
Sometimes you appear a little vague, as in "her behaviour can be interpreted on many different levels". Try to set out the "different levels" you mean: are you looking at her from a feminist or psychoanalytical perspective? Are you interpreting her in comparison to, say, Crooks, or as a by product of post-colonial society? Try to be more precise in the way you write and you'll be more precise in the way you think!
Finally, examiners will like it if you use "technical" language. Instead of simply quoting the word ‘brusquely’, you could describe Steinbeck's use of the adverb 'brusquely'. Smaller quotes like this are often preferable to longer ones because they encourage you to closely analyse the text.
There's a lot to improve on, but you also have a lot to be pleased with in your writing. Keep up the good work!
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