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getting help for depression but feeling lonely
hello 
so I've just finished my first year at university and it's been pretty rough in terms of relationships with other people - so much so that I had to complain about a member of staff and how they interacted with me /:
I've been talking to a uni counsellor and I've spoken to my doctor and I'm to start CBT soon.
Anyway because of all that's gone on I've alienated all my older friends (secondary and sixth form that I was in contact with) and have only really been speaking to three of my current friends (boyfriend, uni best friend and home best friend). Now I'm back home for the long holidays I really don't have much to do or many people to socialise with - home best friend is away and back next week but she has other friends, uni best friend lives on the other side of London so meeting up requires planning at least a day before and I want to give my boyfriend space because I feel like I've been suffocating him and being around him and his friends too much.
So what I'm asking advice on is how can I build bridges with old friends without going into much detail about what happened to me? (It doesn't help that I got drunk and sent messages to one friend about how she's never there anymore and I got pretty rude about it and she ignored my apology after I tried to explain a bit what was going on)
And any activities that I can do alone without feeling lonely if that makes sense? (There's only so many films I can watch before I start to feel down again)
Thanks
so I've just finished my first year at university and it's been pretty rough in terms of relationships with other people - so much so that I had to complain about a member of staff and how they interacted with me /:
I've been talking to a uni counsellor and I've spoken to my doctor and I'm to start CBT soon.
Anyway because of all that's gone on I've alienated all my older friends (secondary and sixth form that I was in contact with) and have only really been speaking to three of my current friends (boyfriend, uni best friend and home best friend). Now I'm back home for the long holidays I really don't have much to do or many people to socialise with - home best friend is away and back next week but she has other friends, uni best friend lives on the other side of London so meeting up requires planning at least a day before and I want to give my boyfriend space because I feel like I've been suffocating him and being around him and his friends too much.
So what I'm asking advice on is how can I build bridges with old friends without going into much detail about what happened to me? (It doesn't help that I got drunk and sent messages to one friend about how she's never there anymore and I got pretty rude about it and she ignored my apology after I tried to explain a bit what was going on)
And any activities that I can do alone without feeling lonely if that makes sense? (There's only so many films I can watch before I start to feel down again)
Thanks
Original post by Anonymous
hello
so I've just finished my first year at university and it's been pretty rough in terms of relationships with other people - so much so that I had to complain about a member of staff and how they interacted with me /:
I've been talking to a uni counsellor and I've spoken to my doctor and I'm to start CBT soon.
Anyway because of all that's gone on I've alienated all my older friends (secondary and sixth form that I was in contact with) and have only really been speaking to three of my current friends (boyfriend, uni best friend and home best friend).
so I've just finished my first year at university and it's been pretty rough in terms of relationships with other people - so much so that I had to complain about a member of staff and how they interacted with me /:
I've been talking to a uni counsellor and I've spoken to my doctor and I'm to start CBT soon.
Anyway because of all that's gone on I've alienated all my older friends (secondary and sixth form that I was in contact with) and have only really been speaking to three of my current friends (boyfriend, uni best friend and home best friend).
Why ? Were you too ashamed to contact them ? You felt inferior to them ? Waiting for them to contact you ?
Original post by Anonymous
Now I'm back home for the long holidays I really don't have much to do or many people to socialise with - home best friend is away and back next week but she has other friends, uni best friend lives on the other side of London so meeting up requires planning at least a day before and I want to give my boyfriend space because I feel like I've been suffocating him and being around him and his friends too much.
So what I'm asking advice on is how can I build bridges with old friends without going into much detail about what happened to me? (It doesn't help that I got drunk and sent messages to one friend about how she's never there anymore and I got pretty rude about it and she ignored my apology after I tried to explain a bit what was going on)
And any activities that I can do alone without feeling lonely if that makes sense? (There's only so many films I can watch before I start to feel down again)
Thanks
Now I'm back home for the long holidays I really don't have much to do or many people to socialise with - home best friend is away and back next week but she has other friends, uni best friend lives on the other side of London so meeting up requires planning at least a day before and I want to give my boyfriend space because I feel like I've been suffocating him and being around him and his friends too much.
So what I'm asking advice on is how can I build bridges with old friends without going into much detail about what happened to me? (It doesn't help that I got drunk and sent messages to one friend about how she's never there anymore and I got pretty rude about it and she ignored my apology after I tried to explain a bit what was going on)
And any activities that I can do alone without feeling lonely if that makes sense? (There's only so many films I can watch before I start to feel down again)
Thanks
The more you "need" people, the more you actually push them away.
You literally become an energy vampire. It happens all the time. I see it all the time with lonely people, their thought process is "if only people liked me and talked to me, I would be happy". But that sucks the life out of people. People only have so much energy and care they can give out to others.
To "attract" people, you need to be happy within yourself, instead of sucking it out of other people.
only you know what you need to do to be happy and caring for others.
Start caring for others, meet the unmet emotional needs of others, then yours will be met too.
i am not saying this is you, I am saying this is an example of what happens sometimes.
And yes, I may be talking crap, I'm willing to entertain that option.
(edited 9 years ago)
