Finding it hard to fit into adult life after uni / anxiety
Hey guys,
Really posting on here because I do not know if I am the only one feeling like this, or if I just need to man up or something.
I graduated last year with a 1st class honours in Computing, loved it and was a great experience. Since then I have left 2 jobs due to anxiety and having major panic attacks of feeling trapped working full time. I feel I do not have any time for myself, my girlfriend or my family.
I am now again in a full time job, but I hate working full time and being stuck in an office, being put in stressful situations covering for people, answering phones etc. I feel like I am wasting my life away, and I don't like speaking to people in the office, it is just too much and I've been here over 2 months.
I am going to the doctors next week, and looking for a part time position somewhere, but I will feel like a failure. I can assure you, I like working to keep busy and earning a wage, but not when It's affecting my health and I am crying every day just going to work.
I just hope someone can relate to me, I am ruining my own career and it is just so stressful.
Really posting on here because I do not know if I am the only one feeling like this, or if I just need to man up or something.
I graduated last year with a 1st class honours in Computing, loved it and was a great experience. Since then I have left 2 jobs due to anxiety and having major panic attacks of feeling trapped working full time. I feel I do not have any time for myself, my girlfriend or my family.
I am now again in a full time job, but I hate working full time and being stuck in an office, being put in stressful situations covering for people, answering phones etc. I feel like I am wasting my life away, and I don't like speaking to people in the office, it is just too much and I've been here over 2 months.
I am going to the doctors next week, and looking for a part time position somewhere, but I will feel like a failure. I can assure you, I like working to keep busy and earning a wage, but not when It's affecting my health and I am crying every day just going to work.
I just hope someone can relate to me, I am ruining my own career and it is just so stressful.
I can relate. When I got my first full time office job it felt like forced labour. I couldn't believe I would have to do this 9-5, 5 days a week. After the rhythm of uni life it's particularly draining. But telling yourself to man up is the last thing you need to do. Anxiety and stress has nothing to do with weakness; just because other people take it without a wince doesn't mean you should. Those people are either robots, with no emotional, intellectual or aesthetic life, or they've learned to acclimatize themselves to the rhythm of it.
And it doesn't have as much to do with personality and stress capacity as it does with health. What you're feeling sounds physiological; so many more life problems are than people imagine. If you're pouring near indigestible empty calories into your body, not exercising, and not getting enough sleep, you're eventually going to burn out.
I think you just need to put some work into your health. At uni you can do whatever you want to your body and sleep it off in class, but in the work world you have to take it seriously. Try to stop smoking, if you do. Easiest thing? Take out gluten, dairy and almost all sugar, even fruits. It sounds miserable but it's really not that big a deal. I promise you it will help your physical anxiety, make you feel fresher, more awake, energised and happier in just a couple weeks. And if you exercise, do meditation, you'll cope so much better.
That will make everything easier. After that, if you're still not able to cope with it, don't force yourself. In your 20s it's far more important to be happy and experiencing as much as you can than holding yourself up to ludicrous career standards. Get a part time job you enjoy, relax as much as you can, take care of yourself and try new hobbies and interests to keep yourself busy, don't just sit around and watch Netflix. If you're on the stress/anxiety continuum you need to get off and recover, take care of yourself, or you'll burn out. Nothing is worth that, trust me.
And it doesn't have as much to do with personality and stress capacity as it does with health. What you're feeling sounds physiological; so many more life problems are than people imagine. If you're pouring near indigestible empty calories into your body, not exercising, and not getting enough sleep, you're eventually going to burn out.
I think you just need to put some work into your health. At uni you can do whatever you want to your body and sleep it off in class, but in the work world you have to take it seriously. Try to stop smoking, if you do. Easiest thing? Take out gluten, dairy and almost all sugar, even fruits. It sounds miserable but it's really not that big a deal. I promise you it will help your physical anxiety, make you feel fresher, more awake, energised and happier in just a couple weeks. And if you exercise, do meditation, you'll cope so much better.
That will make everything easier. After that, if you're still not able to cope with it, don't force yourself. In your 20s it's far more important to be happy and experiencing as much as you can than holding yourself up to ludicrous career standards. Get a part time job you enjoy, relax as much as you can, take care of yourself and try new hobbies and interests to keep yourself busy, don't just sit around and watch Netflix. If you're on the stress/anxiety continuum you need to get off and recover, take care of yourself, or you'll burn out. Nothing is worth that, trust me.
Original post by Anonymous
Hey guys,
Really posting on here because I do not know if I am the only one feeling like this, or if I just need to man up or something.
I graduated last year with a 1st class honours in Computing, loved it and was a great experience. Since then I have left 2 jobs due to anxiety and having major panic attacks of feeling trapped working full time. I feel I do not have any time for myself, my girlfriend or my family.
I am now again in a full time job, but I hate working full time and being stuck in an office, being put in stressful situations covering for people, answering phones etc. I feel like I am wasting my life away, and I don't like speaking to people in the office, it is just too much and I've been here over 2 months.
I am going to the doctors next week, and looking for a part time position somewhere, but I will feel like a failure. I can assure you, I like working to keep busy and earning a wage, but not when It's affecting my health and I am crying every day just going to work.
I just hope someone can relate to me, I am ruining my own career and it is just so stressful.
Really posting on here because I do not know if I am the only one feeling like this, or if I just need to man up or something.
I graduated last year with a 1st class honours in Computing, loved it and was a great experience. Since then I have left 2 jobs due to anxiety and having major panic attacks of feeling trapped working full time. I feel I do not have any time for myself, my girlfriend or my family.
I am now again in a full time job, but I hate working full time and being stuck in an office, being put in stressful situations covering for people, answering phones etc. I feel like I am wasting my life away, and I don't like speaking to people in the office, it is just too much and I've been here over 2 months.
I am going to the doctors next week, and looking for a part time position somewhere, but I will feel like a failure. I can assure you, I like working to keep busy and earning a wage, but not when It's affecting my health and I am crying every day just going to work.
I just hope someone can relate to me, I am ruining my own career and it is just so stressful.
You are in a better position than me i am sure. I am an expat working in a company full time. Coming from a different culture and language make it so hard for me to make friends because i dont know what to talk to my colleagues beside my work.
You just need to give yourself some time to settle down in your new job.Its going to be hard for the first few months and then you shall start enjoying to go to work for sure
I was the same in my first full time office job out of uni. I've since worked in other jobs (none office roles) that I've been more suited to. Some work environments just don't suit some people. It may actually mean re-evaluating your career choice since in your line of work (Computing) I'm pretty sure all the work is office based? If you're not suited to office work then it may be in your best interests to look at other careers? Do you like the outdoors, for example? Or would you prefer working in a different indoor setting?
There's nothing weird about what you're going through - a lot of people experience it. It's hard adjusting to full time work and it's even worse if you have anxiety and you are a deep thinker.
You say you feel like you're wasting your life - maybe try to consider what you think would be a good use of your time and what you consider as reaching your full potential. It sounds like you want to do something meaningful - so I guess it's a case of finding something that feels meaningful to you.
I can totally relate - I've quit so many jobs my CV is ridiculously long now and I didn't graduate that long ago. I think you're doing the right thing seeing a doctor about the anxiety - I hope it helps!
There's nothing weird about what you're going through - a lot of people experience it. It's hard adjusting to full time work and it's even worse if you have anxiety and you are a deep thinker.
You say you feel like you're wasting your life - maybe try to consider what you think would be a good use of your time and what you consider as reaching your full potential. It sounds like you want to do something meaningful - so I guess it's a case of finding something that feels meaningful to you.
I can totally relate - I've quit so many jobs my CV is ridiculously long now and I didn't graduate that long ago. I think you're doing the right thing seeing a doctor about the anxiety - I hope it helps!
I feel like I'm going to feel this way and am already afraid of it happening, I finish university in about 1.5 months...I also deal with anxiety and the thought of it makes me feel overwhelmed.
