Rejected from uni 2nd year in a row
Long story short: applied to uni for in S6, got rejected. As a back up plan, I applied to do an art based HND course at college, got accepted but also dropped to more of an art foundation type course, even though I didn't want to do art at all. This year I applied for uni again and guess what? Got rejected again, but I've no back up plan this time, because everyone - including me - was confident I'd get in this time.
I'll be honest, at this point I'm pretty much thinking there's nothing else to do?? I've been putting it off for a good couple of years, foolishly hoping for some sort of academic (or other?) success in life but guess what, no luck for me.
People keep telling me, 'Oh, it's okay, you're only 20, you've still got time and can keep trying' but that doesn't help because I still feel like a freaking failure?? And I'm done with trying to apply for uni.
Also, I actually realised I probably wouldn't be able to handle the course anyway, because in the past 6 months my concentration skills have decreased dramatically and medication isn't helping, so an academic course could very well be too much for me to handle. But I don't want to do art either, I'm only doing this art course just now because I had to be doing something while I'm not in uni. (And working is out of question, I mean what can someone as useless as me do? Nothing.)
I'm not even sure what I'm hoping to get out of posting this here, I guess I wanted to see if anyone's been in a similar situation before.
(for the record, I've been diagnosed with depression [though I beleive I have anxiety as well] so I believe that this is the right forum to post in)
I'll be honest, at this point I'm pretty much thinking there's nothing else to do?? I've been putting it off for a good couple of years, foolishly hoping for some sort of academic (or other?) success in life but guess what, no luck for me.
People keep telling me, 'Oh, it's okay, you're only 20, you've still got time and can keep trying' but that doesn't help because I still feel like a freaking failure?? And I'm done with trying to apply for uni.
Also, I actually realised I probably wouldn't be able to handle the course anyway, because in the past 6 months my concentration skills have decreased dramatically and medication isn't helping, so an academic course could very well be too much for me to handle. But I don't want to do art either, I'm only doing this art course just now because I had to be doing something while I'm not in uni. (And working is out of question, I mean what can someone as useless as me do? Nothing.)
I'm not even sure what I'm hoping to get out of posting this here, I guess I wanted to see if anyone's been in a similar situation before.
(for the record, I've been diagnosed with depression [though I beleive I have anxiety as well] so I believe that this is the right forum to post in)
(edited 9 years ago)
I'm not in a similar situation to you but I have experienced exactly the same feelings.
Although right now it seems like everything is not going your way there is always light at the end of the tunnel (cliche I know but it's true!)
Firstly, start working on your self-confidence. You referred to yourself as a 'failure' and 'useless' If you don't believe in yourself then you cannot expect others to believe in you.
You're studying an art course and although it's not something you enjoy or want to pursue, you should still try your best and make the most of the opportunity.
Maybe academia isn't for you. And that's totally okay - there are MANY things you can do. University isn't your only option. I know so many people who were pushed into studying a degree because they thought it was their only option and after the first year they quit - they couldn't handle the work and didn't enjoy it.
So if you think going to Uni or academic studying is not for you then don't carry on pursuing something you're not interested in.
I don't know your full situation but maybe you could speak to a careers adviser or some other staff member to discuss options?
Be optimistic!
Although right now it seems like everything is not going your way there is always light at the end of the tunnel (cliche I know but it's true!)
Firstly, start working on your self-confidence. You referred to yourself as a 'failure' and 'useless' If you don't believe in yourself then you cannot expect others to believe in you.
You're studying an art course and although it's not something you enjoy or want to pursue, you should still try your best and make the most of the opportunity.
Maybe academia isn't for you. And that's totally okay - there are MANY things you can do. University isn't your only option. I know so many people who were pushed into studying a degree because they thought it was their only option and after the first year they quit - they couldn't handle the work and didn't enjoy it.
So if you think going to Uni or academic studying is not for you then don't carry on pursuing something you're not interested in.
I don't know your full situation but maybe you could speak to a careers adviser or some other staff member to discuss options?
Be optimistic!
Academia isn't for everyone! I've not been in your situation, but I have been in the situation where I had dropped out of education due to poor mental health (midway through the second year of my degree, after a previous false start at a different uni) and found myself at the age of 22 with no formal qualifications beyond my A-levels, in the depths of depression and thinking myself a huge failure who'd disappointed everyone.
The good news, relatively speaking, is that it was a huge wake-up call to me that I needed to devote time to getting myself mentally healthy and figuring out what it was I really wanted out of life. If your depression is telling you you're a failure, that doesn't invalidate your feelings, but it's an indication that it's not a good thing to be listening to - I mean, if it was someone you knew telling you those things, would you want to stick around them? I'd hope you'd want to kick them out of your life, or at least get to a point where you could say "No, you're wrong."
I'm a firm believer that no one is categorically a failure - they're just judging themselves according to the wrong criteria. Maybe university isn't for you. Maybe it is, but not right now. In that sense, if you're only 20, time is on your side. If you don't feel up to working, have a look at volunteering opportunities, which are far more flexible; you might not be earning money, but it's a good way of trying out different things in a low-pressure environment. (I started out in archaeology and ended up enrolling on a nursing course for this year at the ripe old age of 26, which is a pretty good example of how volunteering can completely change your idea of what you'll end up doing!)
As an aside, if your medication isn't helping, it isn't the end of the line - medication is by no means a precise science, and what works for one person rarely works the same way for the next. I took four different meds before I arrived at my current combination (like you, I'm dealing with depression and anxiety, which can be a tricky mix to medicate), which sounds alarming and time-consuming, but trust me when I say it's worth it when you reach the right balance. And once that happens, you may find that you get a sense of a fresh start and a new direction.
The good news, relatively speaking, is that it was a huge wake-up call to me that I needed to devote time to getting myself mentally healthy and figuring out what it was I really wanted out of life. If your depression is telling you you're a failure, that doesn't invalidate your feelings, but it's an indication that it's not a good thing to be listening to - I mean, if it was someone you knew telling you those things, would you want to stick around them? I'd hope you'd want to kick them out of your life, or at least get to a point where you could say "No, you're wrong."
I'm a firm believer that no one is categorically a failure - they're just judging themselves according to the wrong criteria. Maybe university isn't for you. Maybe it is, but not right now. In that sense, if you're only 20, time is on your side. If you don't feel up to working, have a look at volunteering opportunities, which are far more flexible; you might not be earning money, but it's a good way of trying out different things in a low-pressure environment. (I started out in archaeology and ended up enrolling on a nursing course for this year at the ripe old age of 26, which is a pretty good example of how volunteering can completely change your idea of what you'll end up doing!)
As an aside, if your medication isn't helping, it isn't the end of the line - medication is by no means a precise science, and what works for one person rarely works the same way for the next. I took four different meds before I arrived at my current combination (like you, I'm dealing with depression and anxiety, which can be a tricky mix to medicate), which sounds alarming and time-consuming, but trust me when I say it's worth it when you reach the right balance. And once that happens, you may find that you get a sense of a fresh start and a new direction.
Original post by Eco*34
I'm not in a similar situation to you but I have experienced exactly the same feelings.
Although right now it seems like everything is not going your way there is always light at the end of the tunnel (cliche I know but it's true!)
Firstly, start working on your self-confidence. You referred to yourself as a 'failure' and 'useless' If you don't believe in yourself then you cannot expect others to believe in you.
You're studying an art course and although it's not something you enjoy or want to pursue, you should still try your best and make the most of the opportunity.
Maybe academia isn't for you. And that's totally okay - there are MANY things you can do. University isn't your only option. I know so many people who were pushed into studying a degree because they thought it was their only option and after the first year they quit - they couldn't handle the work and didn't enjoy it.
So if you think going to Uni or academic studying is not for you then don't carry on pursuing something you're not interested in.
I don't know your full situation but maybe you could speak to a careers adviser or some other staff member to discuss options?
Be optimistic!
Although right now it seems like everything is not going your way there is always light at the end of the tunnel (cliche I know but it's true!)
Firstly, start working on your self-confidence. You referred to yourself as a 'failure' and 'useless' If you don't believe in yourself then you cannot expect others to believe in you.
You're studying an art course and although it's not something you enjoy or want to pursue, you should still try your best and make the most of the opportunity.
Maybe academia isn't for you. And that's totally okay - there are MANY things you can do. University isn't your only option. I know so many people who were pushed into studying a degree because they thought it was their only option and after the first year they quit - they couldn't handle the work and didn't enjoy it.
So if you think going to Uni or academic studying is not for you then don't carry on pursuing something you're not interested in.
I don't know your full situation but maybe you could speak to a careers adviser or some other staff member to discuss options?
Be optimistic!
I've already spoken to a learning/careers assistant but they didn't help at all... I'm being pressured by everyone (family, friends, classmates, lecturers...) into pursuing art since that's my only option. (I'm not in a condition to work + plus I've got no previouswork experience) My life has been a downward spiral for the past 8 years or so, including my academic life. I don't think there's anything to be optimistic about here.
Original post by somnolent
Academia isn't for everyone! I've not been in your situation, but I have been in the situation where I had dropped out of education due to poor mental health (midway through the second year of my degree, after a previous false start at a different uni) and found myself at the age of 22 with no formal qualifications beyond my A-levels, in the depths of depression and thinking myself a huge failure who'd disappointed everyone.
The good news, relatively speaking, is that it was a huge wake-up call to me that I needed to devote time to getting myself mentally healthy and figuring out what it was I really wanted out of life. If your depression is telling you you're a failure, that doesn't invalidate your feelings, but it's an indication that it's not a good thing to be listening to - I mean, if it was someone you knew telling you those things, would you want to stick around them? I'd hope you'd want to kick them out of your life, or at least get to a point where you could say "No, you're wrong."
I'm a firm believer that no one is categorically a failure - they're just judging themselves according to the wrong criteria. Maybe university isn't for you. Maybe it is, but not right now. In that sense, if you're only 20, time is on your side. If you don't feel up to working, have a look at volunteering opportunities, which are far more flexible; you might not be earning money, but it's a good way of trying out different things in a low-pressure environment. (I started out in archaeology and ended up enrolling on a nursing course for this year at the ripe old age of 26, which is a pretty good example of how volunteering can completely change your idea of what you'll end up doing!)
As an aside, if your medication isn't helping, it isn't the end of the line - medication is by no means a precise science, and what works for one person rarely works the same way for the next. I took four different meds before I arrived at my current combination (like you, I'm dealing with depression and anxiety, which can be a tricky mix to medicate), which sounds alarming and time-consuming, but trust me when I say it's worth it when you reach the right balance. And once that happens, you may find that you get a sense of a fresh start and a new direction.
The good news, relatively speaking, is that it was a huge wake-up call to me that I needed to devote time to getting myself mentally healthy and figuring out what it was I really wanted out of life. If your depression is telling you you're a failure, that doesn't invalidate your feelings, but it's an indication that it's not a good thing to be listening to - I mean, if it was someone you knew telling you those things, would you want to stick around them? I'd hope you'd want to kick them out of your life, or at least get to a point where you could say "No, you're wrong."
I'm a firm believer that no one is categorically a failure - they're just judging themselves according to the wrong criteria. Maybe university isn't for you. Maybe it is, but not right now. In that sense, if you're only 20, time is on your side. If you don't feel up to working, have a look at volunteering opportunities, which are far more flexible; you might not be earning money, but it's a good way of trying out different things in a low-pressure environment. (I started out in archaeology and ended up enrolling on a nursing course for this year at the ripe old age of 26, which is a pretty good example of how volunteering can completely change your idea of what you'll end up doing!)
As an aside, if your medication isn't helping, it isn't the end of the line - medication is by no means a precise science, and what works for one person rarely works the same way for the next. I took four different meds before I arrived at my current combination (like you, I'm dealing with depression and anxiety, which can be a tricky mix to medicate), which sounds alarming and time-consuming, but trust me when I say it's worth it when you reach the right balance. And once that happens, you may find that you get a sense of a fresh start and a new direction.
I've been getting counselling but it's not helping so I don't really know what else can help. Sure, I'll ask my doctor about getting different medication but... yeah...
I've also done volunteering last year but it only made my anxieties skyrocket and didn't give me any valuable experience. I knew what I wanted to do in life but since I got rejected from uni twice, that totally put me off and now there's nothing I want to do. Neither is there much I'm capable of. I'm doing art, but I hate the course. What's the point in anything at this stage...? I don't know.
Original post by fluffprincess
Long story short: applied to uni for in S6, got rejected. As a back up plan, I applied to do an art based HND course at college, got accepted but also dropped to more of an art foundation type course, even though I didn't want to do art at all. This year I applied for uni again and guess what? Got rejected again, but I've no back up plan this time, because everyone - including me - was confident I'd get in this time.
I'll be honest, at this point I'm pretty much thinking there's nothing else to do?? I've been putting it off for a good couple of years, foolishly hoping for some sort of academic (or other?) success in life but guess what, no luck for me.
People keep telling me, 'Oh, it's okay, you're only 20, you've still got time and can keep trying' but that doesn't help because I still feel like a freaking failure?? And I'm done with trying to apply for uni.
Also, I actually realised I probably wouldn't be able to handle the course anyway, because in the past 6 months my concentration skills have decreased dramatically and medication isn't helping, so an academic course could very well be too much for me to handle. But I don't want to do art either, I'm only doing this art course just now because I had to be doing something while I'm not in uni. (And working is out of question, I mean what can someone as useless as me do? Nothing.)
I'm not even sure what I'm hoping to get out of posting this here, I guess I wanted to see if anyone's been in a similar situation before.
(for the record, I've been diagnosed with depression [though I beleive I have anxiety as well] so I believe that this is the right forum to post in)
I'll be honest, at this point I'm pretty much thinking there's nothing else to do?? I've been putting it off for a good couple of years, foolishly hoping for some sort of academic (or other?) success in life but guess what, no luck for me.
People keep telling me, 'Oh, it's okay, you're only 20, you've still got time and can keep trying' but that doesn't help because I still feel like a freaking failure?? And I'm done with trying to apply for uni.
Also, I actually realised I probably wouldn't be able to handle the course anyway, because in the past 6 months my concentration skills have decreased dramatically and medication isn't helping, so an academic course could very well be too much for me to handle. But I don't want to do art either, I'm only doing this art course just now because I had to be doing something while I'm not in uni. (And working is out of question, I mean what can someone as useless as me do? Nothing.)
I'm not even sure what I'm hoping to get out of posting this here, I guess I wanted to see if anyone's been in a similar situation before.
(for the record, I've been diagnosed with depression [though I beleive I have anxiety as well] so I believe that this is the right forum to post in)
Don't beat yourself up over this, it is not the end of the world if you don't go uni.
who cares about what society thinks? you would be a fool to actually listen to those who say "you need to go uni to be successful"
NO one is ever useless, we all have different talents and skills so don't compare yourself to other people.
All in all you should not give up(maybe apply again next year if you want) and for now continue with the course you are doing.
Academia is not for everyone and that is understandable.
Edit: People go to uni even in their 50s and 60s so its not really a big deal.
I hope things work out.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Eco*34
I'm not in a similar situation to you but I have experienced exactly the same feelings.
Although right now it seems like everything is not going your way there is always light at the end of the tunnel (cliche I know but it's true!)
Firstly, start working on your self-confidence. You referred to yourself as a 'failure' and 'useless' If you don't believe in yourself then you cannot expect others to believe in you.
You're studying an art course and although it's not something you enjoy or want to pursue, you should still try your best and make the most of the opportunity.
Maybe academia isn't for you. And that's totally okay - there are MANY things you can do. University isn't your only option. I know so many people who were pushed into studying a degree because they thought it was their only option and after the first year they quit - they couldn't handle the work and didn't enjoy it.
So if you think going to Uni or academic studying is not for you then don't carry on pursuing something you're not interested in.
I don't know your full situation but maybe you could speak to a careers adviser or some other staff member to discuss options?
Be optimistic!
Although right now it seems like everything is not going your way there is always light at the end of the tunnel (cliche I know but it's true!)
Firstly, start working on your self-confidence. You referred to yourself as a 'failure' and 'useless' If you don't believe in yourself then you cannot expect others to believe in you.
You're studying an art course and although it's not something you enjoy or want to pursue, you should still try your best and make the most of the opportunity.
Maybe academia isn't for you. And that's totally okay - there are MANY things you can do. University isn't your only option. I know so many people who were pushed into studying a degree because they thought it was their only option and after the first year they quit - they couldn't handle the work and didn't enjoy it.
So if you think going to Uni or academic studying is not for you then don't carry on pursuing something you're not interested in.
I don't know your full situation but maybe you could speak to a careers adviser or some other staff member to discuss options?
Be optimistic!
This exactly!
