Depression & uni?
I really need advice.
It's my decision to make at the end of the day, I just want to know what other people think on the matter -- mostly, regarding university and depression.
I've been suffering with depression for over two years. I've been on different forms of medication, but it's so much worse now. I'm at my lowest point. Making it from one day to the next is such a struggle. The problem? I'm meant to be starting uni in September. And before someone jumps in with 'taking a year out!' I have. I've taken two. I'm twenty now, most of my college friends are going into their third year. Now, my problem is, I don't know if I should defer or not. I applied in September just gone, had an interview in November and got a place a few days later. I was really excited, started buying things for moving out, and it was a good distraction for awhile. But, now I'm getting worse.
I really want to do the course I've applied for, the problem is, it's not just a sit down and go to lectures course. It's a practical course, and I know I should be in a good frame of mind; a healthy and happy frame of mind. My parents have suggested I defer this year (although they said they'll support whatever decision I make; they want me to be happy), and go in Sept 2016 instead. I'm just a bit scared about feeling like I've wasted a year. It's already been two, I feel like another year and a quarter is such a long time? But I also feel like three months isn't enough time to get myself in the place I need to be? I'm going back to a doctor next week, I just...don't know what to do. Go to uni? Defer a year until I'm mentally alright? I don't know if moving away will do wonders for my depression, or finally send me over the edge. I'm a bit scared to commit either way. I just want to know what other people would recommend, I suppose. Especially if anyone else happens to have gone to uni with depression. Does it help? Make it worse?
It's my decision to make at the end of the day, I just want to know what other people think on the matter -- mostly, regarding university and depression.
I've been suffering with depression for over two years. I've been on different forms of medication, but it's so much worse now. I'm at my lowest point. Making it from one day to the next is such a struggle. The problem? I'm meant to be starting uni in September. And before someone jumps in with 'taking a year out!' I have. I've taken two. I'm twenty now, most of my college friends are going into their third year. Now, my problem is, I don't know if I should defer or not. I applied in September just gone, had an interview in November and got a place a few days later. I was really excited, started buying things for moving out, and it was a good distraction for awhile. But, now I'm getting worse.
I really want to do the course I've applied for, the problem is, it's not just a sit down and go to lectures course. It's a practical course, and I know I should be in a good frame of mind; a healthy and happy frame of mind. My parents have suggested I defer this year (although they said they'll support whatever decision I make; they want me to be happy), and go in Sept 2016 instead. I'm just a bit scared about feeling like I've wasted a year. It's already been two, I feel like another year and a quarter is such a long time? But I also feel like three months isn't enough time to get myself in the place I need to be? I'm going back to a doctor next week, I just...don't know what to do. Go to uni? Defer a year until I'm mentally alright? I don't know if moving away will do wonders for my depression, or finally send me over the edge. I'm a bit scared to commit either way. I just want to know what other people would recommend, I suppose. Especially if anyone else happens to have gone to uni with depression. Does it help? Make it worse?
I developed depression halfway into my first year at university and it made things extremely difficult. I couldn't make myself attend lectures, I rarely did any work - especially the reading - seminars were hellish, and after a bit things like making food/eating, showering, doing the laundry, and generally taking care of myself became impossible. I was a mess.
Moving out of your parents' house can be a big step and I think if you're not in the right frame of mind it can be very hard to juggle your new life and depression.
Have you seen a doctor already? Are you on any medication or getting talk therapy?
Moving out of your parents' house can be a big step and I think if you're not in the right frame of mind it can be very hard to juggle your new life and depression.
Have you seen a doctor already? Are you on any medication or getting talk therapy?
Original post by Anonymous
I really need advice.
Hey there, I think perhaps you should give university a go; by the sounds of things it's not just naturally getting better and I think given the chance, you may keep deferring until you feel so old that it's too uncomfortable for you to go. I do however recommend that as soon as you do get to university you find something that really makes you happy and occupies your mind to prevent these thoughts. I hope i'm not coming across as unsympathetic or anything like that, I completely feel for you as i've suffered with some pretty severe depression over the past few years of my life. If you want to talk about anything, to anyone, just drop me a message any time! There are myself and many many more people who are willing to listen and help you out. Nobody needs to suffer alone
I just completed my first year and it was really pretty tough, felt completely lost most of the time, had no idea where to go and what events were going on, and due to my anxiety didn't know how to approach people with the hope of hanging out with them or becoming friends, so the result was I never made any friends and I had a lot of difficulty with my studies also. I have no idea how I messed it up so badly because it seems like everyone else settled in fine, made plenty of friends, were getting on ok with their studies as far as I could tell and still had time to join societies and go out nearly every night. I did go to uni though with mental health issues that have never been addressed and caused me a lot of problems (anxiety and depression) so that made things very difficult, I did try and get help with it at first by using the counselling service, but I found the counsellor to be really terrible (to the point where she really shouldn't be qualified to be one) that I never bothered to go back, and being to embarrassed to talk to other students or a lecturer about it I didn't know where else to go, and just hoped things would get better.
So yeah depression certainly makes things much more harder at uni, and uni is hard to begin with, but I still wouldn't let mental health issues put you off from doing what you want to do. I mean I didn't want to be depressed and I wanted to go to uni to learn about a subject I am interested in and to make new friends and I still want to do that. Obviously depression makes it much harder, but you need to fight it. Also I wouldn't let age hold you back, 20 is young and it is not abnormal to go to uni at that age, I started at 22 and I don't consider myself 'too old', so its really not something worth worrying about you should go to uni if its what you want to do and not be concerned about your age.
As for giving uni a miss for the year, I would only do that If you can actively get help and work on whatever it is that is bothering you now, otherwise it would probably just be a waste of your time. If you could find out what course texts you need and what it is you need to learn in your first year though, then taking the time out now to start your studies early before diving into it might be really helpful.
Alternatively if you want to start, then maybe you could contact your uni now before starting to see if there is any extra support they can offer you which could help you settle in better and avoid feeling lost. I think most universities offer some peer support system to help students feeling apprehensive to better settle in, I never bothered with that, feeling a bit to embarrassed about it, but I was feeling very apprehensive about starting and I did feel very lost, unsure how to talk to people and also had difficulties with studies also, so maybe It would have been worth it, and so might be something worth considering for you.
So yeah depression certainly makes things much more harder at uni, and uni is hard to begin with, but I still wouldn't let mental health issues put you off from doing what you want to do. I mean I didn't want to be depressed and I wanted to go to uni to learn about a subject I am interested in and to make new friends and I still want to do that. Obviously depression makes it much harder, but you need to fight it. Also I wouldn't let age hold you back, 20 is young and it is not abnormal to go to uni at that age, I started at 22 and I don't consider myself 'too old', so its really not something worth worrying about you should go to uni if its what you want to do and not be concerned about your age.
As for giving uni a miss for the year, I would only do that If you can actively get help and work on whatever it is that is bothering you now, otherwise it would probably just be a waste of your time. If you could find out what course texts you need and what it is you need to learn in your first year though, then taking the time out now to start your studies early before diving into it might be really helpful.
Alternatively if you want to start, then maybe you could contact your uni now before starting to see if there is any extra support they can offer you which could help you settle in better and avoid feeling lost. I think most universities offer some peer support system to help students feeling apprehensive to better settle in, I never bothered with that, feeling a bit to embarrassed about it, but I was feeling very apprehensive about starting and I did feel very lost, unsure how to talk to people and also had difficulties with studies also, so maybe It would have been worth it, and so might be something worth considering for you.
Hey,
At the end of the day, it is your own decision and if you feel like you could deal with the troubles of university then you should go for it. Not being in a good place mentally and going to uni is horrible and I am really scared that I won't be ready to go back to uni this year either.
You don't have to tell the unis whether you are going to be attending or not until later, right? So, you could prepare yourself as best as you can for going to uni and then if, when the time comes, you don't feel mentally ready, you can defer entry? Could that be an option?
Be sure to commit fully to whatever decision you make and remember to do what you think is best for you!
Good luck
At the end of the day, it is your own decision and if you feel like you could deal with the troubles of university then you should go for it. Not being in a good place mentally and going to uni is horrible and I am really scared that I won't be ready to go back to uni this year either.
You don't have to tell the unis whether you are going to be attending or not until later, right? So, you could prepare yourself as best as you can for going to uni and then if, when the time comes, you don't feel mentally ready, you can defer entry? Could that be an option?
Be sure to commit fully to whatever decision you make and remember to do what you think is best for you!
Good luck
Thank you for the responses so far, I'm still thinking really hard about this, and still uncertain.
As for the question re: seeing the doctor, etc. I was on antidepressants for two years, came off three months ago. I haven't seen the doctor soon, but I'm going on Monday. I sort of want to know if there's any underlying conditions, so I'm going back in the week, and I think I'm going to make my final decision once I know if anything is causing it or if it is just plain ol' depression. If it's the latter, I think I'm going to try this September, and if something is causing it? Then I'll give it the year. Thanks for the advice!
As for the question re: seeing the doctor, etc. I was on antidepressants for two years, came off three months ago. I haven't seen the doctor soon, but I'm going on Monday. I sort of want to know if there's any underlying conditions, so I'm going back in the week, and I think I'm going to make my final decision once I know if anything is causing it or if it is just plain ol' depression. If it's the latter, I think I'm going to try this September, and if something is causing it? Then I'll give it the year. Thanks for the advice!
