What city should I visit tomorrow

Yes food by definition should be edible. Those pizza hut eat all you want things are the same, crabby bits of left over pizzas and mistaken orders!

Ah. Well, no food poisoning. If only it were that simple. Basically it was an all you can eat buffet. Now, I'm a hard working man (at least I have hard working parents anyway) and I wanted to get as much value out of my £8 as possible, maybe even to beat the system, force the restaurant into submission. However, I tragically fell at the first hurdle. The food was abysmal. I started with some spring rolls. "Can't go wrong with spring rolls" I hear you say. Alas, you are wrong. Eating them was comparable to eating a raw onion. In fact I have eaten a raw onion, and if I were blind folded I would find it impossible to distinguish between the two events. Next were the noodles. They tasted like they were fried in shit. Now unlike the raw onion comparison, I have never tasted anything I have known to be fried in shit, but I am guessing that the experience cannot be far off this one. Attempting to play it even safer, my next venture was the sweet and sour chicken. The description was slightly off I hasten to add. A more fitting title would probably be "sickly and bitter balls of fat". Suffice to say I did not get much value out of my £8 in the end. In fact, starting the meal with a full plate, I'd be exaggerating if I said that I got through a third of the stuff on it. But I'm not ashamed - the food simply was that bad. And that is why you should never get a Chinese in Liverpool.

I've a few Japanese friends who went to Liverpool, they had their car broken into there, i.e. a good taster of what life is like in Britain. Also, I've heard Liverpool being described as "one gigantic council estate" - so I think you'll fit in fine

oh...
i went to a chinese in Manchester for a buffet and dont want anymore...
if you want try good chinese food u'd better ask some good chinese cook (e.g me) to make sth u cant find in the restaurants.

...12 year old girls don't fancy you any more, the list is endless

Hmm. Could you make me something you can't find in the restaurants?

You know too much of this for my liking.

I'm grooming you.

Well you're next my pretty...

*imagines Piginapoke brushing Zapsta and braiding ribbons into his hair*

But its soft and silky! Do you moisturise?

Moisturise my hair?!

You have a lot to learn about hair products my young padawan.

Soap and water will do me fine thank you. And possibly a bit of a cut.

I wouldn't say that in Pig's Pervy Salon, god knows what'd happen!

I am bored as hell and need to get out of Manchester. There is a £2.50 return bus I can either get to Liverpool or Leeds, which one should I visit? I've been to Liverpool before but never been to Leeds, however Liverpool may have more to offer.