Loneliness/ depression at university?
Hi everyone, just looking for a bit of advice really.
I'm in my first year of Essex university, studying English literature. Since I started here I've felt extremely lonely, despite being surrounded by friendly faces and peers. Freshers week was a lot of fun but then when it was over and lectures began I started to feel quite isolated.
I figured I just needed to settle in and get into the flow of things but since then things have only got worse.
I spend entire days or nights (usually nights) crying and I find it incredibly hard to fall asleep, resulting in me missing lectures and classes because I struggle to get out of bed. Even when I have had a full night's sleep, many days I simply do not want to get out of bed.
Because I'm only in first year, of course the workload isn't actually that bad in terms of volume but the difficulty from A-levels is vastly different. I've never had to reference an essay before and I have no idea what the word 'cite' means. I have been used to having things spoon-fed to me at sixth form and now I am expected to go and find things out for myself.
This is problematic for me in this current mindset because I feel extremely unmotivated and if I can't even make it out of bed to go to the kitchen it's a huge milestone if I make it across campus to go to the library.
Therefore when I do sit down and attempt to write an essay (usually very close to when it's due) I begin to panic and often cry over it for several hours because I make myself believe that I'm incapable of doing it.
I feel as though my self-esteem is at an all time low and I can't see a way out, I've had many pep talks from my parents and I'm desperate to make them proud but just can't see that happening.
Also I'm not sure if this is relevant but two weeks ago I had my first ever panic attack here, I laid down on my bed and I was alone and couldn't breath at all, then I cried all night and woke up with my eyes so swollen it looked like I'd been stung by bees. I'd really like to not experience that again.
Can anybody suggest a solution? I know going to a doctor would be sensible but I suppose that's like admitting there's something wrong with me.
Thanks
I'm in my first year of Essex university, studying English literature. Since I started here I've felt extremely lonely, despite being surrounded by friendly faces and peers. Freshers week was a lot of fun but then when it was over and lectures began I started to feel quite isolated.
I figured I just needed to settle in and get into the flow of things but since then things have only got worse.
I spend entire days or nights (usually nights) crying and I find it incredibly hard to fall asleep, resulting in me missing lectures and classes because I struggle to get out of bed. Even when I have had a full night's sleep, many days I simply do not want to get out of bed.
Because I'm only in first year, of course the workload isn't actually that bad in terms of volume but the difficulty from A-levels is vastly different. I've never had to reference an essay before and I have no idea what the word 'cite' means. I have been used to having things spoon-fed to me at sixth form and now I am expected to go and find things out for myself.
This is problematic for me in this current mindset because I feel extremely unmotivated and if I can't even make it out of bed to go to the kitchen it's a huge milestone if I make it across campus to go to the library.
Therefore when I do sit down and attempt to write an essay (usually very close to when it's due) I begin to panic and often cry over it for several hours because I make myself believe that I'm incapable of doing it.
I feel as though my self-esteem is at an all time low and I can't see a way out, I've had many pep talks from my parents and I'm desperate to make them proud but just can't see that happening.
Also I'm not sure if this is relevant but two weeks ago I had my first ever panic attack here, I laid down on my bed and I was alone and couldn't breath at all, then I cried all night and woke up with my eyes so swollen it looked like I'd been stung by bees. I'd really like to not experience that again.
Can anybody suggest a solution? I know going to a doctor would be sensible but I suppose that's like admitting there's something wrong with me.
Thanks
That sounds absolutely awful, is there no student health services/support at your uni? Someone you can talk to? At uni you have to rely mostly on yourself for study and you have to be much more independent than you were at school. If you don't understand a concept of your course, or you don't understand a word or you don't know how to reference an essay, don't give up and cry about it, be proactive and seek answers, that's what the internet is for. If you are unmotivated, try to remember why you applied to do Literature and what you enjoy about it (in my opinion there's no point studying something if you don't enjoy it). But it seems like you need someone to push you along just a little bit until you are capable of spreading your wings. Go speak to whoever's in charge of student mental health services at your uni and explain to them what's going wrong, and hopefully they can help you, or to your friends at other unis, or make friends on the course.
Also this site is really useful for referencing essays, it basically references them for you, all you have to do is type in the details like the website or the book you used, etc: http://www.citethisforme.com/harvard-referencing
Hope it helps
Hope it helps
Thanks everyone, I think this year I will try to start a clean slate and forget that first term even happened. I'm hoping to maintain this mindset and if I struggle I'll definitely seek help from uni. Thanks for replying 
