Ashamed of Being Fat

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So yeah. Basically I'm fat.

I feel like it affects my worth as a human being. People don't look twice at me. They don't want to befriend me, talk to me, date me or anything.

Unless I go to the gym and look at my diet...I'm not going to get anywhere in life.

I'm male.

When I look at Facebook and I see a girl who is slim and toned...I feel like I'm looking at some sort of Goddess. Even though she probably isn't. I wouldn't feel good enough for her even if I could make her wet, make her laugh, get her talking and she gave me all and every signal of interest there ever was.

Weird that.

I'm sorry to read this thread and see so much arrogance and disregard for the difficulty you are finding with this very real, very painful problem. If you had anorexia, I doubt you'd be getting such a flippant response.is not an accurate representation of the real world. Assignment: go somewhere away from your uni and make an assessment of the people around you -- all ages, all classes. I think you will get a more accurate read of how the general public looks and it should give you a reality check. As long as you have an internal voice that is howling abuse at yourself for how fat, how gross, how sickening, how disgusting you are then it is going to be a massive battle. First find a gentle way to build your self-esteem, treat that as your first priority on the road to an eventual change in your body size. Just forget about the weight right now. Yep- forget about it. If you focus on another area which will ultimately help your weight issue, such as your self-esteem, then you are moving in the right direction. Give yourself the reasonable viewpoint that this is going to be a long-term fix and there is no point trying to rush the process. Because all the people who do just gain the weight back, and more.

The very inconsiderate people on here who say 'just hit the gym' are utterly ill-informed. It's like telling a person who drinks too much to 'just stay at home' As if either of those options are viable! It's not realistic.

Try to find ways to build up yourself -- the things you love to do. Get around people who love what you do, because they will enjoy your company and you theirs. Don't feel no woman will date you, but remember that the hot chicks in the bikini are not your equivalent body type. So be body positive with the bigger girls as part of playing fair.

You sound depressed. And that would be fair. Living a student life where virtually everyone is 18-25 isn'

Reply 41

Kindred

Original post by Benzocaine

I'm not going to get into the health side of things here. It seems it's the self esteem side of things that are the issue for you and frankly I'm sure you know that being too fat is unhealthy.

Sounds like you're making progress with loosing weight so keep that up and be proud of it. It's a lot harder to be fat then loose weight than it is to never be fat so be proud of any progress you make.

Being fat does not lower your worth as a person. Some people may think it does or treat you poorly because of it, but they are wrong and if anybody has lowered worth it's them for being cruel.

It might help you to think about what is good about you and to look at well respected and liked people who are fat. Your worth comes from you soul (for lack of a better word), not your body. People can be wonderful if the have no legs, if they can't see, if they have a huge nose, are fat or whatever. Treat yourself well and love yourself. Anybody who isn't an ass should be able to see through your body to who you are and you need to do that too.

Use this as motivation to try to be your best you, but do it to make yourself better, not because you're worthless otherwise.

I'm going to move this to another forum by the way because it's not exactly a health issue. I'm going to move it to Mental Health because self esteem falls under mental health, but if you'd prefer it be in Advice on Everyday Issues just let me know. :smile: