Could I Get Into Medical School With These GCSE Grades?

Now right off the bat, ever since I was young (perhaps 4 years of age) I have aspired to become a doctor, which was mainly due to my passion of helping people. However It wasn't until recently that I stumbled across doctor salaries (around mid 2016) where I was glazing in shock at the overwhelming numbers that were staring back at me, I saw salaries ranging from 50,000 - 250,000. So I pictured this nice lavish lifestyle - a yacht, a Bugatti or maybe even a private jet waiting outside for me. So, I made a life changing decision to work my utmost hardest for GCSES as they were a gateway to money or put more indirectly "learning science" so I could become a doctor, similar to how weed is "allegedly" a gateway to more harder drugs like cocaine (my bad for the graphic analogy). So long story short, I have recently received my hard earned GCSE results in which were unlocked by various stages of blood,sweat and tears. With no further ado, here are my results:
Mathematics: 9 (by the way I'm not trying to show off despite having most likely achieved higher than most of you reading this) (I also think I'm gifted as my works very similar to Chris langen who has an IQ well above 200) (And yes I have been tested by an experienced psychologist before you ask)
English Lang:9 (and no this is not BS as you can probably tell through my distinct style of writing)
English Lit:4 don't know what happened there but who cares about English lit anyway
Geography: U The only reason why I haven't tried in this subject is because I don't need it to be a doctor, call it ignorant - I call it smart
Religious Studies: D Same reason as above ^
Biology:A*
Chemistry: E
Physics:F
So is there a good probability of me being accepted into Cambridge and into medical school and if so is it possible to retire any time as a doctor, as I really just want to save a little money and retire and maybe come back due to my loving personality?

Now right off the bat, ever since I was young (perhaps 4 years of age) I have aspired to become a doctor, which was mainly due to my passion of helping people.

This has got to be a troll post. No prospective medical student (with common sense) would openly admit they are going into the career for the money.
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You'd be surprised; I had a friend who's aiming for medicine and admits openly it's for the money

You'd be surprised; I had a friend who's aiming for medicine and admits openly it's for the money

Well, as long as you have lots of passion I think Cambridge would definitely take you! In fact, why don't you make that the start of your PS when you apply?

You may as well give up now lmao. You're going to be competing against applicants with almost all A*s and As at both GCSE and A-Level. Your grades speak volumes about both your half-assery and half-wittery and that attitude will be hard to hide from them, too.

You never know, I could be the one giving you a Digital Rectal Exam while you lay helplessly beside me in agony and pain.

English Lit:4 don't know what happened there but who cares about English lit anyway
Geography: U The only reason why I haven't tried in this subject is because I don't need it to be a doctor, call it ignorant - I call it smart
Religious Studies: D Same reason as above ^

If you're going in it for the money, you're ****ing stupid. It'll be 25-30 years and after you've lost all your sanity that you're going to be getting anywhere near the big salaries.

Not with this sh*t:



Universities aren't going to be calling your U in geography ~smart~ and rightfully so - I'm not gonna let someone incapable of passing more than half of their GCSEs anally probe me and neither is the NHS.