Leave to work at a summer camp in a few days - don't want to go
Hi all,
I don't know if this is the right forum to be writing this, but I would appreciate any help/advice.
I am due to work at a summer camp in the USA for 8 weeks this summer, under the Camp America program. I leave in 5 days.
Ever since applying I have been hesitant about going, constantly pondering on whether it's the right thing to do. With the departure date coming closer, my anxiety is up on the roof, I really don't want to go - I fear the whole experience; what will it be like? will I feel welcomed? do I have the personality/energy to feel maintained for a whole two months?
I enjoy spending time with people, and I would consider myself an outgoing person, but the thought of having no free time to myself is enough to put me off going.
The thing is, I really just want to withdraw from the program, but I'm scared about angering a whole lot of people. First and foremost, I feel as though it's quite bad to withdraw from the program, and ultimately abandon my role at camp a few days before departure. Not only this, but both my friends and family have been pushing me to go, saying how it's a great experience and that I will love it. They aren't wrong about it being a great experience, I just don't think it would be a great experience for me.
I suffer with anxiety, no one knows about it - so from my families perspective, an opportunity like this is a great one. I am so insecure about myself, I am a 19-year-old boy who suffers with acne, and I am also quite skinny, so I lack confidence in swimming for example, as it would mean taking my shirt off, heck I sometimes avoid wearing a t-shirt. By that description, you're probably questioning why I thought to apply for this in the first place, and I don't blame you, I'm starting to think the same.
I just don't know what to do, the thought of getting on that plane and flying off to the states for two months scares the living hell out of me.
Any thoughts?
I don't know if this is the right forum to be writing this, but I would appreciate any help/advice.
I am due to work at a summer camp in the USA for 8 weeks this summer, under the Camp America program. I leave in 5 days.
Ever since applying I have been hesitant about going, constantly pondering on whether it's the right thing to do. With the departure date coming closer, my anxiety is up on the roof, I really don't want to go - I fear the whole experience; what will it be like? will I feel welcomed? do I have the personality/energy to feel maintained for a whole two months?
I enjoy spending time with people, and I would consider myself an outgoing person, but the thought of having no free time to myself is enough to put me off going.
The thing is, I really just want to withdraw from the program, but I'm scared about angering a whole lot of people. First and foremost, I feel as though it's quite bad to withdraw from the program, and ultimately abandon my role at camp a few days before departure. Not only this, but both my friends and family have been pushing me to go, saying how it's a great experience and that I will love it. They aren't wrong about it being a great experience, I just don't think it would be a great experience for me.
I suffer with anxiety, no one knows about it - so from my families perspective, an opportunity like this is a great one. I am so insecure about myself, I am a 19-year-old boy who suffers with acne, and I am also quite skinny, so I lack confidence in swimming for example, as it would mean taking my shirt off, heck I sometimes avoid wearing a t-shirt. By that description, you're probably questioning why I thought to apply for this in the first place, and I don't blame you, I'm starting to think the same.
I just don't know what to do, the thought of getting on that plane and flying off to the states for two months scares the living hell out of me.
Any thoughts?
I know how you feel. My anxiety almost stopped me from attending a program similar to this because in was so afraid. But I am SO glad I did. When I went I took it as an opportunity to have a fresh start, I really tried to be friendly and connect with as many people as possible. I won't lie, the anxiety got the best of me at times but confiding in the people around made me feel like the environment was a very good place for me to be. It is ultimately your choice but my advice would be to go! You will make friends no matter how much the anxiety makes this program seem terrifying and impossible, you must realise that your anxiety should not define you or the things you do. You are bigger than this and the experience is a great opportunity that will better you as a person and make you more confident in yourself. Choose what you want but look past the anxiety and think of all the fun things you will do! I know it can be daunting but you will have free time to yourself and summer camp is a place where everyone is welcome. I was never welcome at school so summer camp was strange for me to feel accepted by such a diverse group of people, it will open your eyes. I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do!
I honestly think camp will actually help with your anxiety, being in a situation that's completely out of your comfort zone is terrifying but you will cope. Every day will be easier than the last and you'll soon make friends. Everyone at camp becomes mates so quickly and you bond so well. You will probably get some kind of free time, at my camp we got one day a week off and also free time after the kids went to bed.
Hey guys,
I was looking through some of my recent threads and found this. I'm the guy that wrote this post, and after much thought, I pushed myself through to going to camp, and I'm so glad I did. Here's a little story on my experience, to anyone who might read this in the future and be in the same boat that I once was.
I distinctly remember getting off the plane once I arrived in New York, and queuing in customs for over 3 hours, and as you'd expect, that left a lot of time for self-thought. To put it bluntly, I was terrified. I even pondered on the possibility of being rejected by customs, and what a joy it would have been. Anyhow, moving on to the actual camp. I arrived a week later than most due to some issues at home, so that left a rather diverse gap for the other counselors to get to know each other - I felt as though they were one big family, and I was an outcast.
However, my negative attitude about both myself and my situation started to simmer, and I felt oddly welcomed. Everyone was so nice and compelling, and after around a day or two, I felt right at home. I then had the best 8 weeks of my life, and I can't wait to return next year.
So, to anyone reading this who is thinking of going, to those in the same boat as I once was, take the dive - trust me, you won't regret it.
I was looking through some of my recent threads and found this. I'm the guy that wrote this post, and after much thought, I pushed myself through to going to camp, and I'm so glad I did. Here's a little story on my experience, to anyone who might read this in the future and be in the same boat that I once was.
I distinctly remember getting off the plane once I arrived in New York, and queuing in customs for over 3 hours, and as you'd expect, that left a lot of time for self-thought. To put it bluntly, I was terrified. I even pondered on the possibility of being rejected by customs, and what a joy it would have been. Anyhow, moving on to the actual camp. I arrived a week later than most due to some issues at home, so that left a rather diverse gap for the other counselors to get to know each other - I felt as though they were one big family, and I was an outcast.
However, my negative attitude about both myself and my situation started to simmer, and I felt oddly welcomed. Everyone was so nice and compelling, and after around a day or two, I felt right at home. I then had the best 8 weeks of my life, and I can't wait to return next year.
So, to anyone reading this who is thinking of going, to those in the same boat as I once was, take the dive - trust me, you won't regret it.
