How do I gain enough self confidence to dress nicer?
My boyfriend and I have been doing long distance for two years, and every other weekend or so, we’ll travel a few hours by train to see each other.
He’s in his first graduate job and is living in his parent’s home to save money, I’m still studying at university (where we met).
I’ve always struggled with my mental health even before we started dating. I’ve put on quite a bit of weight in the past year, and my depression isn’t great right now, so my self confidence is at it’s lowest. Whenever I get dressed, I reach for the comfiest item - usually the same big baggy black tshirt, some black leggings, and a baggy jumper on top. I always make sure they’re clean.
The reason I wear this a lot is because if I wear more fitted clothes,I feel super self conscious about my weight and don’t want others to see.
My boyfriend said that his mum made a comment asking why I always wear the same tshirt and the same jumper every time she sees me, and suggested to him to buy me new clothes as a valentines gift.
I know she means well, and i agree with her that I should try to dress a bit nicer. I just feel mortified and sad that other people have noticed this pattern and I wish I had the self confidence to try on new clothes that show off my figure. I’m not particularly overweight (my BMI is 24) but the recent weight gain is really getting me down. Every time I’ve gone shopping and tried on new clothes, I feel really upset because they don’t fit as nicely as I’d like them to, and I go home without buying anything.
I really want to get in shape and I have a gym membership. I make excuses all the time though and don’t use it as much as I would like. I’m doing long hours in med school, and whenever I get home, I feel so drained that all I want to do is sleep.
Does anyone have any words of encouragement / advice? Even typing this out is upsetting me and making me cry. I just need a morale boost so I can feel better about myself.
He’s in his first graduate job and is living in his parent’s home to save money, I’m still studying at university (where we met).
I’ve always struggled with my mental health even before we started dating. I’ve put on quite a bit of weight in the past year, and my depression isn’t great right now, so my self confidence is at it’s lowest. Whenever I get dressed, I reach for the comfiest item - usually the same big baggy black tshirt, some black leggings, and a baggy jumper on top. I always make sure they’re clean.
The reason I wear this a lot is because if I wear more fitted clothes,I feel super self conscious about my weight and don’t want others to see.
My boyfriend said that his mum made a comment asking why I always wear the same tshirt and the same jumper every time she sees me, and suggested to him to buy me new clothes as a valentines gift.
I know she means well, and i agree with her that I should try to dress a bit nicer. I just feel mortified and sad that other people have noticed this pattern and I wish I had the self confidence to try on new clothes that show off my figure. I’m not particularly overweight (my BMI is 24) but the recent weight gain is really getting me down. Every time I’ve gone shopping and tried on new clothes, I feel really upset because they don’t fit as nicely as I’d like them to, and I go home without buying anything.
I really want to get in shape and I have a gym membership. I make excuses all the time though and don’t use it as much as I would like. I’m doing long hours in med school, and whenever I get home, I feel so drained that all I want to do is sleep.
Does anyone have any words of encouragement / advice? Even typing this out is upsetting me and making me cry. I just need a morale boost so I can feel better about myself.
This is so sad to read and unfortunately I can kind of relate in regards to weight and low self esteem :-(
Obviously, you have a boyfriend who likes you no matter what you look like, and will always find you beautiful! A little weight gain is nothing to be ashamed about. Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable and make you feel pretty.
Try wearing makeup , jewellery and cool shoes to add to a more basic outfit , rather than wearing fitted clothing that might make you feel exposed.
You could skip the gym and focus on eating healthier to lose some weight and feel physically better about yourself.
Focus on things that you like about yourself other than your size- your face, your personality, your achievements.
Go on fun dates with your boyfriend that don’t require dressing up.
Practice self care and try something new- watch that film you’ve been meaning to watch or buy a bath bomb to use one evening.
You are beautiful! And you are worth SO much more than what you perceive when you look in the mirror!
Obviously, you have a boyfriend who likes you no matter what you look like, and will always find you beautiful! A little weight gain is nothing to be ashamed about. Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable and make you feel pretty.
Try wearing makeup , jewellery and cool shoes to add to a more basic outfit , rather than wearing fitted clothing that might make you feel exposed.
You could skip the gym and focus on eating healthier to lose some weight and feel physically better about yourself.
Focus on things that you like about yourself other than your size- your face, your personality, your achievements.
Go on fun dates with your boyfriend that don’t require dressing up.
Practice self care and try something new- watch that film you’ve been meaning to watch or buy a bath bomb to use one evening.
You are beautiful! And you are worth SO much more than what you perceive when you look in the mirror!
Original post by Izzythestudent
This is so sad to read and unfortunately I can kind of relate in regards to weight and low self esteem :-(
Obviously, you have a boyfriend who likes you no matter what you look like, and will always find you beautiful! A little weight gain is nothing to be ashamed about. Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable and make you feel pretty.
Try wearing makeup , jewellery and cool shoes to add to a more basic outfit , rather than wearing fitted clothing that might make you feel exposed.
You could skip the gym and focus on eating healthier to lose some weight and feel physically better about yourself.
Focus on things that you like about yourself other than your size- your face, your personality, your achievements.
Go on fun dates with your boyfriend that don’t require dressing up.
Practice self care and try something new- watch that film you’ve been meaning to watch or buy a bath bomb to use one evening.
You are beautiful! And you are worth SO much more than what you perceive when you look in the mirror!
Obviously, you have a boyfriend who likes you no matter what you look like, and will always find you beautiful! A little weight gain is nothing to be ashamed about. Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable and make you feel pretty.
Try wearing makeup , jewellery and cool shoes to add to a more basic outfit , rather than wearing fitted clothing that might make you feel exposed.
You could skip the gym and focus on eating healthier to lose some weight and feel physically better about yourself.
Focus on things that you like about yourself other than your size- your face, your personality, your achievements.
Go on fun dates with your boyfriend that don’t require dressing up.
Practice self care and try something new- watch that film you’ve been meaning to watch or buy a bath bomb to use one evening.
You are beautiful! And you are worth SO much more than what you perceive when you look in the mirror!
Thank you for this. I just feel so pathetic and the self-loathing has built up to a level that it’s actually just exhausting. I cried three times in one day over the weekend - i used to never ever cry. I used to be on antidepressants but stopped last september, and I think I’m going to have to start them again as I feel like I’m going crazy. It’s also not fair on my boyfriend either to have to constantly put up with my negaitvity. I just feel hopeless
