My anxiety will be the end of me. Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
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I had this big plan to start a HNC in Art & Design, then go and study interior design at university.
I blew my plan up in my face.
All I need to do is write a stupid personal statement, then my journey to a happy life and exciting career will begin. But I can’t. No matter how much I plan what to write, I can’t bring myself to write what I need to get into university.
Even if I did manage to come up with a personal statement, I’d still have to create a portfolio to prove I’m good enough to study the subject (which I’m not). I can’t even draw! Sure I can learn, but tbh I’ve gotten to a point in my young life where I just can’t be bothered anymore. 9 months to complete a HNC to get into uni...? Dream on.
I just feel like my life is f*cked either way and I’m scared that if I do try to succeed then I’ll end up failing anyway. I can’t set myself up for failure like that, it just doesn’t make sense.
I know that I’m overthinking everything and assuming the worst, but think of it this way- if I can’t even write a personal statement then there’s no way I’m going to be able to get through uni anyway. So what’s the point in even trying?

I don’t know exactly what the point of my post is today or what answers I’m looking for, I guess I just wanted to get that off my chest.

I just wish I didn’t get so overwhelmed by everything.
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Jorden21
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I had this big plan to start a HNC in Art & Design, then go and study interior design at university.
I blew my plan up in my face.
All I need to do is write a stupid personal statement, then my journey to a happy life and exciting career will begin. But I can’t. No matter how much I plan what to write, I can’t bring myself to write what I need to get into university.
Even if I did manage to come up with a personal statement, I’d still have to create a portfolio to prove I’m good enough to study the subject (which I’m not). I can’t even draw! Sure I can learn, but tbh I’ve gotten to a point in my young life where I just can’t be bothered anymore. 9 months to complete a HNC to get into uni...? Dream on.
I just feel like my life is f*cked either way and I’m scared that if I do try to succeed then I’ll end up failing anyway. I can’t set myself up for failure like that, it just doesn’t make sense.
I know that I’m overthinking everything and assuming the worst, but think of it this way- if I can’t even write a personal statement then there’s no way I’m going to be able to get through uni anyway. So what’s the point in even trying?

I don’t know exactly what the point of my post is today or what answers I’m looking for, I guess I just wanted to get that off my chest.

I just wish I didn’t get so overwhelmed by everything.
From the sounds of it, you seem very anxious at the moment. That's okay. This is a very big decision to make, so it is understandable that you feel this way.

With my experience with Anxiety, I have found it much harder to complete even simple tasks when I feel overwhelmed or on the spot. These "tasks" could be things that I can usually easily perform when I feel calm, but much more difficult when I'm anxious. I think it's because you panic in this state of mind; trying to process information and perform actions as quick as humanly possible rather than your natural pace. Usually the result of this isn't great. I usually do a poor job of what I'm tasked to do, then feel frustrated because I didn't completed as fast as I wanted to, or to the "quality" that I wanted to achieve.

So why am I saying this to you? You're struggling to write a personal statement, while handling all these feelings of anxiety and dread. It is an essential piece of work that could enable you to achieve your goals in life. Naturally, all of these negative thoughts will be coming to mind when trying to complete the personal statement, making you anxious therefore making it more difficult for you to put pen to paper. You can't focus because your mind is processing all these other thoughts (I'm assuming, anyway). You probably are capable of doing this, but you need to ease your anxiety so you can focus.

I will just say this now; not all the Anxiety will go away - but it should still be possible to ease it. If you don't already, try some coping mechanisms; mindfulness, meditation, guided breathing, relaxing bath, go for a walk etc. Some of these might work for you. The main point of these is to clear your mind and ease the tenseness your body holds (I'd say that anyway, I'm not an expert in this area). I'd try these regularly, but especially before you decide to write your personal statement. You might feel mildly anxious still, but hopefully less that usual. Unfortunately you probably will hold some anxiety doing this (most people would), but like many times in life you have to "feel the fear and do it anyway", because it doesn't all go away. It will easier to handle over time, though (again, my opinion. Not an expert).

Something else I feel like needs being said... Are you confident about this decision to enrol on this course?

You say you want to do it but "can't even draw"? One thing I would advise is that you make sure you feel at least capable doing this course; don't just do it as an escape from the 9 to 5. Too many people do this because they don't know what to do in life. Although I tell you not to worry, it is important to consider if it is the right decision. Get it wrong, and you may either fail the course or struggle to get funding for a course in the future that you know you want. It is worth taking time out to think about this - even if it is for a few years. Are you certain this course is a "journey to a happy life and exciting career", or are you just hoping it is? These are thoughts you may have had before. I know they can be worrying to think about, but they are also important to consider. However, once you are confident you are making the right decision, you should feel less anxious about the process.

I hope this is useful advice. Good luck.
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