I feel so embarrassed
I can't tell if this is a big deal or not, am I upset for no reason?
Today is my friend's birthday, I say friend but we're really close and honestly I think I might love her, but I'm not sure yet.
Anyway we all went out for her birthday, went to a bar for a couple hours and then went clubbing. There was a guy trying to get with the girls in our group, and we told him to **** off because they were interested. Another member of our group has in recent times got way too drunk for her own good and we've had to look after her on nights out, but we didn't want to do this because it was my friend's birthday.
Anyway, I got groped. I tried to play it off, I pulled the guy in close gave him a hug kissed him on the cheek and called him a beautiful man or whatever. But I don't know whether this is a big deal or not. I know it's normal, especially for girls, but as a guy I've never had to deal with anything like this before and honestly I got so upset. I've had lack of body confidence for years in stuff I can't fix or go to the gym for, like the fact I have a big ass. But it was someone that I didn't even know, not like it was a friend as a joke. Anyway, I didn't want to ruin her night so I just told her I wasn't feeling very well and called a taxi and left.
And now I'm back at my dorm and I just feel so upset, am I right to be or is this a "get over it" situation. I really don't know.
Today is my friend's birthday, I say friend but we're really close and honestly I think I might love her, but I'm not sure yet.
Anyway we all went out for her birthday, went to a bar for a couple hours and then went clubbing. There was a guy trying to get with the girls in our group, and we told him to **** off because they were interested. Another member of our group has in recent times got way too drunk for her own good and we've had to look after her on nights out, but we didn't want to do this because it was my friend's birthday.
Anyway, I got groped. I tried to play it off, I pulled the guy in close gave him a hug kissed him on the cheek and called him a beautiful man or whatever. But I don't know whether this is a big deal or not. I know it's normal, especially for girls, but as a guy I've never had to deal with anything like this before and honestly I got so upset. I've had lack of body confidence for years in stuff I can't fix or go to the gym for, like the fact I have a big ass. But it was someone that I didn't even know, not like it was a friend as a joke. Anyway, I didn't want to ruin her night so I just told her I wasn't feeling very well and called a taxi and left.
And now I'm back at my dorm and I just feel so upset, am I right to be or is this a "get over it" situation. I really don't know.
Of course you're justified in being upset, you were just groped!
Even if its playful, if its a joke, or if its full on forced assault, groping can make people feel objectified and used and just generally gross.
You have full reason to be as upset as any of the girls with you would be if a strange man grabbed their arse too, so don't beat yourself up over this.
Try to find a productive way to get this out. It may be embracing the absurdity of it like you've already started, but you're not obligated to take this as a joke.
A stranger touched you and you didn't consent to that. Of course you're allowed to feel miffed about it!
Even if its playful, if its a joke, or if its full on forced assault, groping can make people feel objectified and used and just generally gross.
You have full reason to be as upset as any of the girls with you would be if a strange man grabbed their arse too, so don't beat yourself up over this.
Try to find a productive way to get this out. It may be embracing the absurdity of it like you've already started, but you're not obligated to take this as a joke.
A stranger touched you and you didn't consent to that. Of course you're allowed to feel miffed about it!
Well, I think that was be an embarrassing situation that you tried to cover up. It’s kind of normal for someone to have like a defense mechanism and in as much as what happened to you was horrible, the bright side is you did it cause you didn’t want to ruin your friend’s birthday. Possibly the man assumed you were gay or he was probably really drunk. However, I think you should try to work on anotherapproach if this sort of thing was to ever happen again.
First, you shouldn’t let people treat you anyhow, esp in an uncomfortable or embarrassing way, because you’re trying to indirectly protect someone and in turn, leave yourself vulnerable.
Second, it’s kind of okay to be shy of your body at some stage in life but you have to accept and love who you are. It may be hard but that’s what makes you unique.
I think it’s okay to be upset about what happens and if you have someone you can comfortably talk to about it, pls do. But, it’s not okay to let this bother you for a really long time.
First, you shouldn’t let people treat you anyhow, esp in an uncomfortable or embarrassing way, because you’re trying to indirectly protect someone and in turn, leave yourself vulnerable.
Second, it’s kind of okay to be shy of your body at some stage in life but you have to accept and love who you are. It may be hard but that’s what makes you unique.
I think it’s okay to be upset about what happens and if you have someone you can comfortably talk to about it, pls do. But, it’s not okay to let this bother you for a really long time.
