Intrusive thoughts
I decided to explore my intrusive thoughts, these thoughts run in my mind daily and it feels suffocating.
I'm always seeking validation from my friends, I feel like I don't have the certain looks to be accepted by society or to fit in, I'm always doubting myself, I avoid school work by stressing about it instead, I feel shamed that I couldn't achieve what I want, I feel envious that my friends can get along with everyone but I can't.
I'm 19 years old now, I failed my university interview for the nursing course, I'm scared to tell my friend and families that I didn't get it because Im scared their going to think I'm not smart enough. All my friends are going university and moving on while I jutst finished college this year
I'm always seeking validation from my friends, I feel like I don't have the certain looks to be accepted by society or to fit in, I'm always doubting myself, I avoid school work by stressing about it instead, I feel shamed that I couldn't achieve what I want, I feel envious that my friends can get along with everyone but I can't.
I'm 19 years old now, I failed my university interview for the nursing course, I'm scared to tell my friend and families that I didn't get it because Im scared their going to think I'm not smart enough. All my friends are going university and moving on while I jutst finished college this year
You are moving from an environment of which has been planned for you and into one of which you have much more control in, so what is happening is fear is kicking in.
Independence is just something that you will learn to embrace, but at first it can feel daunting, especially if it comes easier to others. The best thing to do is to not compare yourself to others, but to the person that you were the day before. So try to set yourself a goal for the next six months, which could be improving cooking skills to cut down on food costs i.e. planning meals ahead of time, or perhaps exploring the history of your local area (much neglected by locals), something to work toward, which will put distance between you and others that you may just need in your life, in a year you probably won't look back.
Good luck.
Independence is just something that you will learn to embrace, but at first it can feel daunting, especially if it comes easier to others. The best thing to do is to not compare yourself to others, but to the person that you were the day before. So try to set yourself a goal for the next six months, which could be improving cooking skills to cut down on food costs i.e. planning meals ahead of time, or perhaps exploring the history of your local area (much neglected by locals), something to work toward, which will put distance between you and others that you may just need in your life, in a year you probably won't look back.
Good luck.
I am about to be blunt so prepare yourself
99% of the time the only thing people actually care about is
A: themselves and what they are doing
and
B: other people think about them
As for socially fitting in. How do you know that you aren't socially fitting in ? who told you ?
you want to be a nurse and if you are passionate about it, you will become a nurse. You just will.
There are so many different ways. You could do an apprenticeship: you literally get paid to learn about the thing you love whilst on the job while your peers are stressing about exams and worrying about the debts they stacked up at students.
If you are passionate about the care side of things you could become a HCA and work your way up. The lower down the "food chain" you are , the more patient contact you get. You can spend more time getting to know patients and trying to help them out and less time stressing out about attending the the 3 feeding pumps and 5 syringe drives beeping at you.
You don't NEED to tell your parents/ friends. You can tell them in your own time. I promise the thing they will probably be thinking is "I hope you aren't upset " not "you are dumb"
Once you find your place; this may be in a hospital as an HCA or as an ambulance technician or even a domestic assistant, and when you find your people , you will fit right in.
I'm autistic, I've never had any friends and never felt like I fit in because let's face it. I don't.
But I am passionate about care. After a few weeks on the job I felt like I fit in and that we were one big family. You might not feel this right away but it doesn't mean it won't happen. You just need to get into the swing of things.
Also , let me remind you that you are 19, not 40 meaning that you still have 20 years to do whatever you like. My aunt decided to go to uni at 40 and train to become a nurse because she wasn't satisfied with her job. She now is a great nurse and feels fulfilled in her job. Whatever you decide to do isn't set in stone and you aren't condemned. If you chose to work your way up from HCA to RN, you will still become an RN and you will have more experience and Bette people skills than people straight out of uni.
what ever you chose, you are great, if you say you're not you know that you are lying and trying to make your life more difficult so tell yourself that now isn't the time, have a cuppa and a jaffacake and sleep it off.
GOOD LUCK!!!!
99% of the time the only thing people actually care about is
A: themselves and what they are doing
and
B: other people think about them
As for socially fitting in. How do you know that you aren't socially fitting in ? who told you ?
you want to be a nurse and if you are passionate about it, you will become a nurse. You just will.
There are so many different ways. You could do an apprenticeship: you literally get paid to learn about the thing you love whilst on the job while your peers are stressing about exams and worrying about the debts they stacked up at students.
If you are passionate about the care side of things you could become a HCA and work your way up. The lower down the "food chain" you are , the more patient contact you get. You can spend more time getting to know patients and trying to help them out and less time stressing out about attending the the 3 feeding pumps and 5 syringe drives beeping at you.
You don't NEED to tell your parents/ friends. You can tell them in your own time. I promise the thing they will probably be thinking is "I hope you aren't upset " not "you are dumb"
Once you find your place; this may be in a hospital as an HCA or as an ambulance technician or even a domestic assistant, and when you find your people , you will fit right in.
I'm autistic, I've never had any friends and never felt like I fit in because let's face it. I don't.
But I am passionate about care. After a few weeks on the job I felt like I fit in and that we were one big family. You might not feel this right away but it doesn't mean it won't happen. You just need to get into the swing of things.
Also , let me remind you that you are 19, not 40 meaning that you still have 20 years to do whatever you like. My aunt decided to go to uni at 40 and train to become a nurse because she wasn't satisfied with her job. She now is a great nurse and feels fulfilled in her job. Whatever you decide to do isn't set in stone and you aren't condemned. If you chose to work your way up from HCA to RN, you will still become an RN and you will have more experience and Bette people skills than people straight out of uni.
what ever you chose, you are great, if you say you're not you know that you are lying and trying to make your life more difficult so tell yourself that now isn't the time, have a cuppa and a jaffacake and sleep it off.
GOOD LUCK!!!!
