who can give me a mark out of 40 for paper 2 question please

hey guys just done some practise on the paper 2 question 5 and done whatever I can in 45 minutes. can someone can give me a mark outta 40 I will really appreciate it.

it's the November 2019 here's the link

https://padlet.com/MrDowling/Language_Paper_2

For years and for years there has been this perennial debate of whether animals should be set free. Animals are 'apparently' happy enough to eat meat, to be kept in zoos or to be kept as pets, but with they being treated as nice as a doll these animals are evil devils with the intention of causing harm to us helpless human - which why I argue that animal's shouldn't be set free. Firstly, why animals shouldn't be set free is that these animals will destroy flatten everything like a steam roller leaving those who effected in an utter devastation. Secondly, why animals shouldn't be set free is that with people earning the bare-minimum source of income, it will be impossible to recover as they will become poorer and will have to endeavour a hardship like hell. Finally, why animals shouldn't from this amount of hardship so so so many people will have to go through poverty as all their income is gone.

Animals shouldn't be free of how they are very very very destructive and can affect people lives in all sort of ways such as destroying their source of income. According the 'Website of Statistics' it presents the statistic that annually 15,000 people have experienced their shops or stalls being destroyed in the country of Malawi. From this statistic being illustrated we cannot have these animals out in the open. No. Developing countries such as Malawi are having the most severe-dominant effects; with a colossal figure of 87% percent working in both the primary and secondary sector people it will effect extremely atrocious of how unemployment at countries such as Malawi is already over the roof, so will probably be over this planet globe. These animals are pitiless, ruthless and most of malevolent so I want to you to imagine the world with animals being set free... People oblivious, people devastated and people with an utter amount of stress, it's a no option for to allow these animals being set free. It will be a nightmare!

Moreover, why I have a plethora of stress of why animals shouldn't be free is that people will become poorer. But, on the other hand, a recent article published by 'The Daily Telegraph' titled that 'ARE YOU BECOMING RICHER WITH ANIMALS ? ' presents that the population have became significantly richer as the result of selling animal produce such as milk or wool. That's wrong. In fact, it has done the opposite. These animals have dominantly destroyed people's lives into smithereens by destroying their income. With these animals demolishing everything that even comes out of the corner of their eyes they have caused several people to sleep with an immeasurable amount of thirst and hunger. Us humans have suffered more than enough. In fact too much of it.

Another reason why animals shouldn't be free is that that from these animal's ruthless activities it will trigger poverty. Dr Shaun Delay from the University of London describes how people living at poverty have an increased chance of 34% of catching the deadly dangerous disease: cholera. With animals destroying us poor humans inadequate source of income, I can't imagine how many people will join the 'Poverty Club.' People will be left with no choice other than to join the poverty club with animals . With their only source of income destroyed by these animals, I want to reassure that it won't be a meter amount joining the 'Poverty Club'. With this powerful disease: cholera it was even awarded the 'The Worst Pandemic of the World' the number of death will rise over the roof. In addition, to this disease being awarded the 'The Worst Pandemic of the World' no one will be alive! It will even catch those who weren't in the poverty club. By 20 years time there will be no humans alive in this world.

Unequivocally, we must, we must, we must conclude that these animals cannot by a single-chance be set free. We must visualise the future Earth. With animals being set free they will make us humans stressed and overall having hardship like hell to go through as these animals have destroyed our shops or stalls, caused us to become poorer and overall made the entire country it be at a standstill with it's development.