I am 3 weeks away from my exams
I do bio chem and maths
I am a south Asian girl
I am so f @ $ £ ed
So for context, I got mostly 9s and 8s for GCSEs. Now i am failing my alevels.
I got my most recent mocks back. EUU were the grades. I was targeted 3 A* in year 12 and i got predicted ACD due to poor performance. I applied fot biological science foundation course at QMUL which requires 3 Cs. I need ABB to look my parents in the eye. They spend £9,360 on private tutors since I was year 6 to prepare me for these final exams.
What went wrong:
- year 12 and lockdown. Developed procrastination habits. On phone 12hrs a day. Watched movies YouTube tiktok all day. Didnt prepare for sixth form at all.
-started with 4 alevels. Did physics at the start. Got cocky and thought i can handle 4 alevels since i did amazing at GCSEs.
- with the surprise decline in grades in yr 12, mental health declines. Stressed, cutting, thought of taking my life. Couldn’t even eat. Lost 10kg from stress.
- got therapy. Therapy helped 3 months. Then became relative and felt like i was saying I will do things at home that i was never going to do. Either I became numb or i pretended to improve and stopped therapy.
- start of yr 13. Had my first experience with talking to a boy and spent 6 months wasting my time talking him. Obsessed and attached, didnt do any work at all during those days as i was distracted by him. Still failing exams but it didn’t have an effect on me anymore because i am used to it. End of 6 months, we end up blocking each other so that was a waste of time.
Then now i am here. With 3 failed alevels to my name. Exams in 3 weeks. My parents thinks I am on track for As, everyone expecting As. I cant get my self to work. Even procrastinating now.
Anyone relate…