It’s been nearly 7 months of sixth form and I still have zero friends
I’ve always struggled making friends due to crippling anxiety and low self esteem, but i thought I would make at least or a group of friends in college and find my people. I never expected to be as lonely as ever. At lunch I just go for a walk outside of college because I can’t bare for people to see me lonely.
I have some acquaintances that I talk to in class but absolutely no body to talk to at lunch or outside of college. My mental health has never been worse and i’m truly afraid for myself.
Someone in one of my classes even noticed my loneliness and made fun of me for never appearing with friends which has made everything worse.
I really don’t know what to do. I’ve tried every single advice but I just can’t make friends and no one is genuinely willing to be my friends.
I have some acquaintances that I talk to in class but absolutely no body to talk to at lunch or outside of college. My mental health has never been worse and i’m truly afraid for myself.
Someone in one of my classes even noticed my loneliness and made fun of me for never appearing with friends which has made everything worse.
I really don’t know what to do. I’ve tried every single advice but I just can’t make friends and no one is genuinely willing to be my friends.
hey, love. i'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling with making friends, it can be so so difficult especially when you're suffering from anxiety or other issues that knock your confidence. i think the best thing for you to do would be to take things one step at a time. it's common for us to have all these expectations passed onto us that everyone waltzes around in college with big friend groups, but the reality is that these can take time to form and for people to find their crowd. i bet a lot of the people in your college are just as nervous as you!
perhaps a good starting point would be to try and turn one of those acquaintances you mentioned into a friend, and go from there. if you have a class with them just before lunch, maybe you could ask if they'd like to grab lunch with you? it could be an idea to open an interesting conversation in class, so that there's an incentive to try and carry it on over your lunch break. if they have a pre-existing friend group themselves or if you're not comfortable with just being 1 to 1, you can instead ask if you could join their friends for lunch. now, you have an in. you don't need to sit with them every day, but even once a week will give you some time to practice being social and allow you to maybe connect with others you wouldn't have gotten to otherwise.
then, you can start thinking about making some brand new friends. are there people in your classes who you sit next to/near but have never talked to? are there any fun clubs you can join that align with your interests? does your college have study groups after school? how about upcoming events or socials? these are all good places to meet people.
remember that even just smiling at someone and saying hi is a step in the right direction. friendships don't form overnight, they take a bit of commitment and yes, a bit of initiative. it's super scary to go up to someone and start chatting, but over time i promise it will get a bit easier, and you never know who you meet that might become your next best friend! be proud of yourself for putting yourself out there, because it's more difficult than most people care to realise.
the last thing i'd say is that if you're feeling "no one is genuinely willing to be my friend" - which i'm sure is not true! - perhaps it would be a good idea to have a few conversation starters ready, if you're worried that your main struggle is holding the conversation once initiated, which can also be challenging with people you don't really know. i'm not saying you have to use cheesy icebreakers (although they do have their virtue in some situations), but just thinking of some general open questions you can ask people beyond the basics might be helpful. if you know about their interests already then that's great, people in general quite like to talk about themselves so ask what they've been up to on the pitch if they're a sportsperson, or if they've caught any new movies if they're a film buff. if you don't know, ask! what's your dream career? what do you like to do outside of schoolwork? what's your hidden talent? what's your favourite memory? what is the best moment you've had in the last week?
best of luck!!! i really hope this helps. and if you ever need a friend on TSR to chat to, i've got you - dm me anytime
perhaps a good starting point would be to try and turn one of those acquaintances you mentioned into a friend, and go from there. if you have a class with them just before lunch, maybe you could ask if they'd like to grab lunch with you? it could be an idea to open an interesting conversation in class, so that there's an incentive to try and carry it on over your lunch break. if they have a pre-existing friend group themselves or if you're not comfortable with just being 1 to 1, you can instead ask if you could join their friends for lunch. now, you have an in. you don't need to sit with them every day, but even once a week will give you some time to practice being social and allow you to maybe connect with others you wouldn't have gotten to otherwise.
then, you can start thinking about making some brand new friends. are there people in your classes who you sit next to/near but have never talked to? are there any fun clubs you can join that align with your interests? does your college have study groups after school? how about upcoming events or socials? these are all good places to meet people.
remember that even just smiling at someone and saying hi is a step in the right direction. friendships don't form overnight, they take a bit of commitment and yes, a bit of initiative. it's super scary to go up to someone and start chatting, but over time i promise it will get a bit easier, and you never know who you meet that might become your next best friend! be proud of yourself for putting yourself out there, because it's more difficult than most people care to realise.
the last thing i'd say is that if you're feeling "no one is genuinely willing to be my friend" - which i'm sure is not true! - perhaps it would be a good idea to have a few conversation starters ready, if you're worried that your main struggle is holding the conversation once initiated, which can also be challenging with people you don't really know. i'm not saying you have to use cheesy icebreakers (although they do have their virtue in some situations), but just thinking of some general open questions you can ask people beyond the basics might be helpful. if you know about their interests already then that's great, people in general quite like to talk about themselves so ask what they've been up to on the pitch if they're a sportsperson, or if they've caught any new movies if they're a film buff. if you don't know, ask! what's your dream career? what do you like to do outside of schoolwork? what's your hidden talent? what's your favourite memory? what is the best moment you've had in the last week?
best of luck!!! i really hope this helps. and if you ever need a friend on TSR to chat to, i've got you - dm me anytime
I feel a similar way though im not diagnosed with any kind of anxiety i have major trouble connecting and opening up to other people, Even family. I have a friend group who all see each other outsidr of sixth form but i only see them and hang with them at sixth form. I feel like i dont belong with them and they dont really care about me because really dont know what to say to them because i barely know them. It sucks but i do have old friends to go to if i become desperate which is different from you.
