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Pls help me

I’m 20 & since I was young I’ve been imagining relationships, I’m attracted to women but will never reveal this to family and friends, if there’s this woman I like I will become obsessed and just constantly imagine being with her, I want to live normal but am scared of the future and sometimes it hurts that I can’t be my true self but I just can’t. I have never had a relationship with a male or female but I tell everyone I’m attracted to guys. I would never act upon my feelings towards a woman because I’m so embarrassed but I am so scared of the future. What should I do?
bro so ur gay or straight

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