What should I do?
If this sounds really trivial or stupid I apologise, I'd just like some advice.
A few months ago I was rejected from Oxford for PPE, and while it hit me hard in the initial few days, I got over it alright. However, it has just hung over me like a cloud over these past few months, and is now beginning to impact my revision for A-levels and in some ways my day to day life. Just a week ago I got an offer from a good uni in London to study Politics and Economics, I have firmed it and I should be looking forward to going there next year (and indeed working to achieve the grades required), but (rightly or wrongly) receiving the offer has made it 100x worse as it makes me wonder why I couldn't have tried harder to get into Oxford. I keep looking back at the interview day and how I could've said this or even got more sleep beforehand. The worst aspect is the rock and the hard place I'm between in that no matter what university I attend it won't be as good in terms of the academics, employability, social life or overall experience of Oxford, as well as the fact that I know I should be really grateful and working towards the university I've got an offer from. I had a clear plan to take a gap year if I got rejected from this uni and either reapply to Oxford or even take a second look at the career/degree I wanted (and not apply to somewhere closer to home), but that's out of the window now as turning down this uni just to get rejected next year again (and possibly also from the London uni) would be mad.
This seemingly obnoxious dejection even when getting that offer comes from the fact that I really haven't got anything else going for me in life, no real social life or enjoyments with the only thing really keeping me going since COVID being the prospect of a good future and career. Thus for me in a warped sense the only real reflection of my worth and success is through school, as it is the one strength I have and thus any academic failures for me amount to wasted effort and potential in my life. It should be said that NONE of this pressure comes from my family, who are always supportive and quite frankly given our humble background are happy with anything I do as long as I'm happy (I haven't spoke to them about my dejection). If I'm to be brutally honest the hole I've dug myself into mentally is entirely my own doing.
From the start of last year I spent hours some days looking at careers, and I have to admit my mental health has declined as a result of a quasi-obsession with academic and jobs. However it never really impacted my day-to-day happiness until these past few weeks. I'd consider myself quite a resilient person when it comes to mental health and I try not to let negative things get to my head no matter what they might be, but now I just can't stop thinking about the regret and failure. I can spend hours every evening looking through posts on this website and elsewhere relating to your employability in x sector or if you go to y university. One of the biggest concerns I have is that it's beginning to impact my revision for A-levels, something I otherwise have never had issues with in terms of motivation/distractions. Just tonight I planned to spend a few hours revising, and just 30 mins in my mind came immediately to this and I've been stuck on here ever since. My grades haven't taken too much of a drop and the fact I started early means I'm not yet behind, but I'm worried if it continues I may suffer.
It's also now impacting me at school at and home when speaking to friends or family, doing work or other things. I'll either hear someone say something or see something on the television that will redirect my mind to the cloud hanging over me, and this could happen multiple times a day.
This probably sounds ridiculous, especially the reasoning behind it, but it is definitely impacting my daily life and my studies. I am not sure what to do in order to try and dig myself out of the hole I'm in. Any advice or wake up calls are greatly appreciated.
A few months ago I was rejected from Oxford for PPE, and while it hit me hard in the initial few days, I got over it alright. However, it has just hung over me like a cloud over these past few months, and is now beginning to impact my revision for A-levels and in some ways my day to day life. Just a week ago I got an offer from a good uni in London to study Politics and Economics, I have firmed it and I should be looking forward to going there next year (and indeed working to achieve the grades required), but (rightly or wrongly) receiving the offer has made it 100x worse as it makes me wonder why I couldn't have tried harder to get into Oxford. I keep looking back at the interview day and how I could've said this or even got more sleep beforehand. The worst aspect is the rock and the hard place I'm between in that no matter what university I attend it won't be as good in terms of the academics, employability, social life or overall experience of Oxford, as well as the fact that I know I should be really grateful and working towards the university I've got an offer from. I had a clear plan to take a gap year if I got rejected from this uni and either reapply to Oxford or even take a second look at the career/degree I wanted (and not apply to somewhere closer to home), but that's out of the window now as turning down this uni just to get rejected next year again (and possibly also from the London uni) would be mad.
This seemingly obnoxious dejection even when getting that offer comes from the fact that I really haven't got anything else going for me in life, no real social life or enjoyments with the only thing really keeping me going since COVID being the prospect of a good future and career. Thus for me in a warped sense the only real reflection of my worth and success is through school, as it is the one strength I have and thus any academic failures for me amount to wasted effort and potential in my life. It should be said that NONE of this pressure comes from my family, who are always supportive and quite frankly given our humble background are happy with anything I do as long as I'm happy (I haven't spoke to them about my dejection). If I'm to be brutally honest the hole I've dug myself into mentally is entirely my own doing.
From the start of last year I spent hours some days looking at careers, and I have to admit my mental health has declined as a result of a quasi-obsession with academic and jobs. However it never really impacted my day-to-day happiness until these past few weeks. I'd consider myself quite a resilient person when it comes to mental health and I try not to let negative things get to my head no matter what they might be, but now I just can't stop thinking about the regret and failure. I can spend hours every evening looking through posts on this website and elsewhere relating to your employability in x sector or if you go to y university. One of the biggest concerns I have is that it's beginning to impact my revision for A-levels, something I otherwise have never had issues with in terms of motivation/distractions. Just tonight I planned to spend a few hours revising, and just 30 mins in my mind came immediately to this and I've been stuck on here ever since. My grades haven't taken too much of a drop and the fact I started early means I'm not yet behind, but I'm worried if it continues I may suffer.
It's also now impacting me at school at and home when speaking to friends or family, doing work or other things. I'll either hear someone say something or see something on the television that will redirect my mind to the cloud hanging over me, and this could happen multiple times a day.
This probably sounds ridiculous, especially the reasoning behind it, but it is definitely impacting my daily life and my studies. I am not sure what to do in order to try and dig myself out of the hole I'm in. Any advice or wake up calls are greatly appreciated.
Original post by Anonymous
If this sounds really trivial or stupid I apologise, I'd just like some advice.
A few months ago I was rejected from Oxford for PPE, and while it hit me hard in the initial few days, I got over it alright. However, it has just hung over me like a cloud over these past few months, and is now beginning to impact my revision for A-levels and in some ways my day to day life. Just a week ago I got an offer from a good uni in London to study Politics and Economics, I have firmed it and I should be looking forward to going there next year (and indeed working to achieve the grades required), but (rightly or wrongly) receiving the offer has made it 100x worse as it makes me wonder why I couldn't have tried harder to get into Oxford. I keep looking back at the interview day and how I could've said this or even got more sleep beforehand. The worst aspect is the rock and the hard place I'm between in that no matter what university I attend it won't be as good in terms of the academics, employability, social life or overall experience of Oxford, as well as the fact that I know I should be really grateful and working towards the university I've got an offer from. I had a clear plan to take a gap year if I got rejected from this uni and either reapply to Oxford or even take a second look at the career/degree I wanted (and not apply to somewhere closer to home), but that's out of the window now as turning down this uni just to get rejected next year again (and possibly also from the London uni) would be mad.
This seemingly obnoxious dejection even when getting that offer comes from the fact that I really haven't got anything else going for me in life, no real social life or enjoyments with the only thing really keeping me going since COVID being the prospect of a good future and career. Thus for me in a warped sense the only real reflection of my worth and success is through school, as it is the one strength I have and thus any academic failures for me amount to wasted effort and potential in my life. It should be said that NONE of this pressure comes from my family, who are always supportive and quite frankly given our humble background are happy with anything I do as long as I'm happy (I haven't spoke to them about my dejection). If I'm to be brutally honest the hole I've dug myself into mentally is entirely my own doing.
From the start of last year I spent hours some days looking at careers, and I have to admit my mental health has declined as a result of a quasi-obsession with academic and jobs. However it never really impacted my day-to-day happiness until these past few weeks. I'd consider myself quite a resilient person when it comes to mental health and I try not to let negative things get to my head no matter what they might be, but now I just can't stop thinking about the regret and failure. I can spend hours every evening looking through posts on this website and elsewhere relating to your employability in x sector or if you go to y university. One of the biggest concerns I have is that it's beginning to impact my revision for A-levels, something I otherwise have never had issues with in terms of motivation/distractions. Just tonight I planned to spend a few hours revising, and just 30 mins in my mind came immediately to this and I've been stuck on here ever since. My grades haven't taken too much of a drop and the fact I started early means I'm not yet behind, but I'm worried if it continues I may suffer.
It's also now impacting me at school at and home when speaking to friends or family, doing work or other things. I'll either hear someone say something or see something on the television that will redirect my mind to the cloud hanging over me, and this could happen multiple times a day.
This probably sounds ridiculous, especially the reasoning behind it, but it is definitely impacting my daily life and my studies. I am not sure what to do in order to try and dig myself out of the hole I'm in. Any advice or wake up calls are greatly appreciated.
A few months ago I was rejected from Oxford for PPE, and while it hit me hard in the initial few days, I got over it alright. However, it has just hung over me like a cloud over these past few months, and is now beginning to impact my revision for A-levels and in some ways my day to day life. Just a week ago I got an offer from a good uni in London to study Politics and Economics, I have firmed it and I should be looking forward to going there next year (and indeed working to achieve the grades required), but (rightly or wrongly) receiving the offer has made it 100x worse as it makes me wonder why I couldn't have tried harder to get into Oxford. I keep looking back at the interview day and how I could've said this or even got more sleep beforehand. The worst aspect is the rock and the hard place I'm between in that no matter what university I attend it won't be as good in terms of the academics, employability, social life or overall experience of Oxford, as well as the fact that I know I should be really grateful and working towards the university I've got an offer from. I had a clear plan to take a gap year if I got rejected from this uni and either reapply to Oxford or even take a second look at the career/degree I wanted (and not apply to somewhere closer to home), but that's out of the window now as turning down this uni just to get rejected next year again (and possibly also from the London uni) would be mad.
This seemingly obnoxious dejection even when getting that offer comes from the fact that I really haven't got anything else going for me in life, no real social life or enjoyments with the only thing really keeping me going since COVID being the prospect of a good future and career. Thus for me in a warped sense the only real reflection of my worth and success is through school, as it is the one strength I have and thus any academic failures for me amount to wasted effort and potential in my life. It should be said that NONE of this pressure comes from my family, who are always supportive and quite frankly given our humble background are happy with anything I do as long as I'm happy (I haven't spoke to them about my dejection). If I'm to be brutally honest the hole I've dug myself into mentally is entirely my own doing.
From the start of last year I spent hours some days looking at careers, and I have to admit my mental health has declined as a result of a quasi-obsession with academic and jobs. However it never really impacted my day-to-day happiness until these past few weeks. I'd consider myself quite a resilient person when it comes to mental health and I try not to let negative things get to my head no matter what they might be, but now I just can't stop thinking about the regret and failure. I can spend hours every evening looking through posts on this website and elsewhere relating to your employability in x sector or if you go to y university. One of the biggest concerns I have is that it's beginning to impact my revision for A-levels, something I otherwise have never had issues with in terms of motivation/distractions. Just tonight I planned to spend a few hours revising, and just 30 mins in my mind came immediately to this and I've been stuck on here ever since. My grades haven't taken too much of a drop and the fact I started early means I'm not yet behind, but I'm worried if it continues I may suffer.
It's also now impacting me at school at and home when speaking to friends or family, doing work or other things. I'll either hear someone say something or see something on the television that will redirect my mind to the cloud hanging over me, and this could happen multiple times a day.
This probably sounds ridiculous, especially the reasoning behind it, but it is definitely impacting my daily life and my studies. I am not sure what to do in order to try and dig myself out of the hole I'm in. Any advice or wake up calls are greatly appreciated.
Going to a good uni feels like it will make up for all the other shortcomings I have. While I know this is extremely stupid it summarises the mindset I have
Original post by Anonymous
Going to a good uni feels like it will make up for all the other shortcomings I have. While I know this is extremely stupid it summarises the mindset I have
Hi!
I really hope you are doing well because although I am not at that stage yet, imagining that sort of thing happening to myself or others really is frightening. Firstly, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your mind-set, in fact it is part of the majority.
Honestly, I am not the best at giving advice but I know that dwelling on something that has already happened will definitely not help you get back into Oxford, so why bother. I understand the regret and thoughts of how you could have improved the quality of your interview pulling at your neck but it is so important to focus on your A-levels at the time being. We spend so much time prying into the future that we completely forget the effect it may have on us now.
Lastly, think of it this way: consider your rejection a prompt for improvement, but don't let that "prompt" control you. The rejection happened for a reason and I'd love for you to be telling us the success you still managed to achieve even outside of Oxford in a couple years. Prove to everyone that the skill is in you, not in the university.
I hope this helps you feel better and sending lots of love and support your way!
-W <3
