I am really passionate about my education and I’ve planned my entire academic life out, but part of me feels too dumb or not good enough. I’m currently in year 12, and I am currently achieving AAB in my A levels of English Literature, History, and Politics. However my schools docked me at BBC a grade under what I’m achieving for each. So much so that my personal development tutor allowed me to send him applications to summer schools so that he can do them. However, I feel he doesn’t understand that I literally get A’s in my exams. So much so that out of all 4 summer schools; I’ve been rejected from each. Durham, Bristol (Sutton trust, I got accepted to the online), and York (YESS - which my rejection came very recently, and hurt the most as I much love the modules for the international relations degree). Worst part is I’ve applied with my friends and I’ve seen them get accepted and me rejected each time. I’m not going to lie I’ve cried. So much. I keep comparing myself to them and I can’t understand why I’ve not been accepted. My GCSEs were 8s, 7s and 6s. I’m not doing anything this summer, York got back to me to do MOOCS but I just can’t afford it. I’m from a low income area on the outskirts of Newcastle, but my parents are merely over the free school meal limit at college so I never tick the box saying I’m claiming anything. Every summer school deadline is over and I’m not going to lie I feel like such a waste. My friends have been accepted to each one and me none of the three, none! It’s to the point where I got my rejection and I was in tears while my driving instructor was coming to pick me up, she was I was red-faced and asked to reschedule! It’s taking up my entire life, it feels like. I feel like such a disappointment to myself