really struggling mentally
Hi, I’m a 17 year old girl and I think something is really wrong with me. I constantly feel like I’m half a person- both like I personally feel this and I feel my friends and family see me like this too. I constantly feel empty and have this permanent pit in my stomach. I feel so numb and then so angry and then teary and then really happy and I just don’t know what to do. I’ve been in therapy for like a year but nothing seems to have changed. I don’t feel like I’m a full human if that makes any sense?
I’ve never had a boyfriend (I’m 17 nearly 18) and it really messes with me, like it makes me feel so abnormal. All my friends talk about sex and relationships and I just don’t know what to say because 1) I’ve never had one but 2) it’s so deeply embarrassing as a topic to me. I feel like because I’ve never had a bf and the only male attention I’ve received is objectification I don’t see myself as ever being a “girlfriend.”
I get overly attached to people like my older coworkers and look to them as a source of constant reassurance which I know isn’t healthy but I can’t help it.
What’s wrong with me? What does it sound like I have? Any advice would be lovely
thanks x
I’ve never had a boyfriend (I’m 17 nearly 18) and it really messes with me, like it makes me feel so abnormal. All my friends talk about sex and relationships and I just don’t know what to say because 1) I’ve never had one but 2) it’s so deeply embarrassing as a topic to me. I feel like because I’ve never had a bf and the only male attention I’ve received is objectification I don’t see myself as ever being a “girlfriend.”
I get overly attached to people like my older coworkers and look to them as a source of constant reassurance which I know isn’t healthy but I can’t help it.
What’s wrong with me? What does it sound like I have? Any advice would be lovely
thanks x
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, I’m a 17 year old girl and I think something is really wrong with me. I constantly feel like I’m half a person- both like I personally feel this and I feel my friends and family see me like this too. I constantly feel empty and have this permanent pit in my stomach. I feel so numb and then so angry and then teary and then really happy and I just don’t know what to do. I’ve been in therapy for like a year but nothing seems to have changed. I don’t feel like I’m a full human if that makes any sense?
I’ve never had a boyfriend (I’m 17 nearly 18) and it really messes with me, like it makes me feel so abnormal. All my friends talk about sex and relationships and I just don’t know what to say because 1) I’ve never had one but 2) it’s so deeply embarrassing as a topic to me. I feel like because I’ve never had a bf and the only male attention I’ve received is objectification I don’t see myself as ever being a “girlfriend.”
I get overly attached to people like my older coworkers and look to them as a source of constant reassurance which I know isn’t healthy but I can’t help it.
What’s wrong with me? What does it sound like I have? Any advice would be lovely
thanks x
I’ve never had a boyfriend (I’m 17 nearly 18) and it really messes with me, like it makes me feel so abnormal. All my friends talk about sex and relationships and I just don’t know what to say because 1) I’ve never had one but 2) it’s so deeply embarrassing as a topic to me. I feel like because I’ve never had a bf and the only male attention I’ve received is objectification I don’t see myself as ever being a “girlfriend.”
I get overly attached to people like my older coworkers and look to them as a source of constant reassurance which I know isn’t healthy but I can’t help it.
What’s wrong with me? What does it sound like I have? Any advice would be lovely
thanks x
Hi, it is great that you acknowledge your feelings and you want to find the reason why you're feeling the way you are. Nothing is wrong with you asking questions in order to know about yourself.
I would advise not to compare yourself with your peers. Everyones choices are different and so is your path in life.
Learn to love yourself and find what makes you loved and then find what you love doing e.g your hobbies during your spare time. Find good quality friends who respect you as a person and stand beside you when you need help. You don't need to prove yourself to anyone. You shouldn't want a boyfriend or have sex just to feel relevant. Boyfriend and sex will come when you start loving yourself and it will feel special when it does because you will want answers to your questions in due time.
The anticipation of having a boyfriend or anything else seems to bring anxiety and great fear in you more than actually having the desired goal. Focus on yourself and studies and just be patient with others too.
- Try journalling as that helps me to jot down what I want to express without no restrictions or judgments.
- Try Mindfulness mediation, 10mins a day and increase as you see fit.
- Try to look for a psychologist since a therapist doesn't seems to be working for you. As psychologist can answer deeper questions, respect your values and help you.
I don't know much about you but if you have any specific questions, please feel free to ask.
You can get support and there is a lot of support out there such as:
-The Samaritans, you can call 116 123, which is available 24 hours a day
-Mind, 0300 123 3393
-Saneline, 0300 304 7000, from 4.30pm-10.30pm
-The mix, 0800 808 4994, 11am-11pm
-SHOUT, text 852258, 24 hour text service
-Crises, 741741, text service
-Papyrus, 0800 068 4141, if you have thoughts of suicide or in emotional distress
-Rethink mental health, 0300 5000 927
-No Panic, 0800 138 8889
-relate, they have a chat advisor
There is the mind forum
Also Facebook groups
You can join support groups
You can contact a crises team if things get very bad
Plenty of resources online, information regarding well being
-The Samaritans, you can call 116 123, which is available 24 hours a day
-Mind, 0300 123 3393
-Saneline, 0300 304 7000, from 4.30pm-10.30pm
-The mix, 0800 808 4994, 11am-11pm
-SHOUT, text 852258, 24 hour text service
-Crises, 741741, text service
-Papyrus, 0800 068 4141, if you have thoughts of suicide or in emotional distress
-Rethink mental health, 0300 5000 927
-No Panic, 0800 138 8889
-relate, they have a chat advisor
There is the mind forum
Also Facebook groups
You can join support groups
You can contact a crises team if things get very bad
Plenty of resources online, information regarding well being
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, I’m a 17 year old girl and I think something is really wrong with me. I constantly feel like I’m half a person- both like I personally feel this and I feel my friends and family see me like this too. I constantly feel empty and have this permanent pit in my stomach. I feel so numb and then so angry and then teary and then really happy and I just don’t know what to do. I’ve been in therapy for like a year but nothing seems to have changed. I don’t feel like I’m a full human if that makes any sense?
I’ve never had a boyfriend (I’m 17 nearly 18) and it really messes with me, like it makes me feel so abnormal. All my friends talk about sex and relationships and I just don’t know what to say because 1) I’ve never had one but 2) it’s so deeply embarrassing as a topic to me. I feel like because I’ve never had a bf and the only male attention I’ve received is objectification I don’t see myself as ever being a “girlfriend.”
I get overly attached to people like my older coworkers and look to them as a source of constant reassurance which I know isn’t healthy but I can’t help it.
What’s wrong with me? What does it sound like I have? Any advice would be lovely
thanks x
I’ve never had a boyfriend (I’m 17 nearly 18) and it really messes with me, like it makes me feel so abnormal. All my friends talk about sex and relationships and I just don’t know what to say because 1) I’ve never had one but 2) it’s so deeply embarrassing as a topic to me. I feel like because I’ve never had a bf and the only male attention I’ve received is objectification I don’t see myself as ever being a “girlfriend.”
I get overly attached to people like my older coworkers and look to them as a source of constant reassurance which I know isn’t healthy but I can’t help it.
What’s wrong with me? What does it sound like I have? Any advice would be lovely
thanks x
Hi. I know exactly how you feel especially re boyfriends. When I was 17 I was the same! In fact until last year ( im 24 now) I would constantly have breakdowns about being single / not having any boys actuallf interested in ME rather than just objectification / wanting sex.
unfortunately it’s just really common and a lot of men genuinely just suck. But there are good boys out there and trust me you are SO young. Please don’t download dating apps, I did when I was your age because all my friends had boyfriends but it led me into such a rabbit hole that made my self esteem even worse. Going on dates with men that I thought were interested but were only on a rebound etc. It’s TOTALLY not worth it. You are so so young and don’t need a boyfriend. I don’t lmlw
if you’re doing A levels atm but if you see just focus on them and focus on enriching you’re life.
so what if your friends have boyfriends and you don’t? Half of them won’t last I’m afraid to say because they’re so young. You’re probably very beautiful and classy and boys are probs just too scared of reflection which is why no one has asked you out.
Cliche but love happens when you least expect it. I was at a family friends 40th birthday party at tje
most mediocre pub when I met my boyfriend just over a year ago and now we live together.
just enjoy! Re the hormones you’re probably just hormonal, are you on the pill? That can cause issues or tbh just my regular menstrual cycle I find myself fluctuating hormonally.
whatever you do, don’t go on antidepressants. Being depressed is such a 1st world issue, children dying in poorer countries aren’t depressed, they just want food.
just be grateful you’re physically healthy ( if you are) and that you have all of your senses!
best,
nellie
Original post by Anonymous
Hi. I know exactly how you feel especially re boyfriends. When I was 17 I was the same! In fact until last year ( im 24 now) I would constantly have breakdowns about being single / not having any boys actuallf interested in ME rather than just objectification / wanting sex.
whatever you do, don’t go on antidepressants. Being depressed is such a 1st world issue, children dying in poorer countries aren’t depressed, they just want food.
best,
nellie
whatever you do, don’t go on antidepressants. Being depressed is such a 1st world issue, children dying in poorer countries aren’t depressed, they just want food.
best,
nellie
This comes across as quite belittling of people who are feeling depressed, and is not a helpful comment to make. I'm sure that wasn't your intention, but please be aware that people come to this forum who may be feeling depressed and anxious, whose feelings and experiences are valid.
For the OP, it's not necessarily that there is something wrong with you. I'd be curious to know what your focus in therapy has been as, after a year, if you are not seeing any progress, it might be worth changing focus or trying another kind of therapy.
