Whats wrong with me?
Hi. Am not sure whats wrong with me, i need help. It physically hurts my brain to think, make any limbic movement. Not that it paralyses me, but so much pain in my brain. I feel like i am having a heart attack all the time. And ive become really moody and annoyed over the past few days, and i am never like this. Not ever. So i dont understand where its coming from. I obsessively convince nyself i can do work, but deep dive i believe i cant. And so when i do it, compared to normal i can’t understand anythung almost like my brain fogs. The past few months i have really been depressed by that i mean, low self worth, unloved feeling like i cant do anything, shaking and nervous tremours all the time and crying out of nowhere. Too tired to sleep. And scared in my sleep, and when i wake up i cant get up cauz i feel really anxious like i am in danger. It takes so much convincing to get up. I feel like i might be abandoned and on my own. I dont attempt my passions i fear them.
When doing work i am hit with so many intrusive thoughts and emotions i feel like i am unsafe so i completely stopped doing work. Ive started again recently and was like this is what i was running from? Because i find it easy and interesting now, but starting it takes so much effort, that i do everything but that. Although its not hard at all, and something uve always enjoyed. Although a year ago, work was hard and i may have overworked myself. And sometimes images of that come bacj to me when i attempt to do work. And that scares me too. So i dont do it then too.
What could possible be wrong. I really feel like i am in danger all the time, and tired and nit worth anything. How can i fix myself. I can afford no therapist at the moment. Thanks!
When doing work i am hit with so many intrusive thoughts and emotions i feel like i am unsafe so i completely stopped doing work. Ive started again recently and was like this is what i was running from? Because i find it easy and interesting now, but starting it takes so much effort, that i do everything but that. Although its not hard at all, and something uve always enjoyed. Although a year ago, work was hard and i may have overworked myself. And sometimes images of that come bacj to me when i attempt to do work. And that scares me too. So i dont do it then too.
What could possible be wrong. I really feel like i am in danger all the time, and tired and nit worth anything. How can i fix myself. I can afford no therapist at the moment. Thanks!
The important part here is to believe that you are OK that nothing is wrong with you and everything you are reacting to has a cause.
You will know what that cause is. Go and talk to a qualified medical professional sooner rather than later.
So if you feel anxious what are you feeling anxious about?
When you work what are your intrusive thoughts and why are you allowing them to become 'main stream'? They stem from somewhere? Work out what they are and why they are so bothersome.
Unravel what stressors have been affecting you over the past couple of years? Why is the focus on life specifics right now so important to you? If you stop work tomorrow and do nothing why are you worried and what would you lose? Life does not just end at 21 you have years to go at. For some Uni starts at 80 years plus.
Ok - just stop everything. What matters most to you, and why is this thing in your head the first and foremost important worry in your psyche? You are in control of this worry so why do you expect someone else to take responsibility for it or worse allow yourself to bury it and not deal with it?
You need to be in touch with how your body functions and what areas of your body you have been over reaching? If you run a marathon you won't feel like running the next day. So if you task your brain with more and more and more cognitive work how does it respond - it hurts!! Look after your brain and give it some TLC - Sometimes others encourage us to aim for unachievable goals. If you have tried fair enough but many times everyone expects Oxford or Cambridge? Then what? When are you going to take responsibility for your own life choices? There are so many opportunities out there that are fantastic but if you are in the crumpled gutter having destroyed yourself before you can take them, don't expect to get anything.
If thinking hurts your brain just stop and then listen to your body and its warning signs. Rest and start again. Stop having a relentless end goal of perfection. If you do, you are chasing someone else's goals and not listening to your own tune. Why are you setting yourself up to fail? Go into anything realistically = Plan A if you ace everything if you get what grades you want. Plan B if you get less than expected (what are your reserve Uni's etc) Plan C - If you get less than you need so what then are your plans - a year out? Enter clearing? or find an apprenticeship or just fester for a year? You choice because you own the hard drive in your head and need to be comfortable with the choices you make.
Be gentle on your head, your soul and your physical self. No point destroying it all before it has even had chance to thrive?
Just get the balance back in your life. Every day just stop. Find an area of lots of green trees and stop and listen to the birds, listen to everything around you. What do you hear? How do you feel? Look at the struggle around you. Work at finding a solution that you feel ok with and works for you. Stop dancing to every one else and their tune. Do not end up being the whipping post for others. Then reassess and make the right decisions for yourself.
You will know what that cause is. Go and talk to a qualified medical professional sooner rather than later.
So if you feel anxious what are you feeling anxious about?
When you work what are your intrusive thoughts and why are you allowing them to become 'main stream'? They stem from somewhere? Work out what they are and why they are so bothersome.
Unravel what stressors have been affecting you over the past couple of years? Why is the focus on life specifics right now so important to you? If you stop work tomorrow and do nothing why are you worried and what would you lose? Life does not just end at 21 you have years to go at. For some Uni starts at 80 years plus.
Ok - just stop everything. What matters most to you, and why is this thing in your head the first and foremost important worry in your psyche? You are in control of this worry so why do you expect someone else to take responsibility for it or worse allow yourself to bury it and not deal with it?
You need to be in touch with how your body functions and what areas of your body you have been over reaching? If you run a marathon you won't feel like running the next day. So if you task your brain with more and more and more cognitive work how does it respond - it hurts!! Look after your brain and give it some TLC - Sometimes others encourage us to aim for unachievable goals. If you have tried fair enough but many times everyone expects Oxford or Cambridge? Then what? When are you going to take responsibility for your own life choices? There are so many opportunities out there that are fantastic but if you are in the crumpled gutter having destroyed yourself before you can take them, don't expect to get anything.
If thinking hurts your brain just stop and then listen to your body and its warning signs. Rest and start again. Stop having a relentless end goal of perfection. If you do, you are chasing someone else's goals and not listening to your own tune. Why are you setting yourself up to fail? Go into anything realistically = Plan A if you ace everything if you get what grades you want. Plan B if you get less than expected (what are your reserve Uni's etc) Plan C - If you get less than you need so what then are your plans - a year out? Enter clearing? or find an apprenticeship or just fester for a year? You choice because you own the hard drive in your head and need to be comfortable with the choices you make.
Be gentle on your head, your soul and your physical self. No point destroying it all before it has even had chance to thrive?
Just get the balance back in your life. Every day just stop. Find an area of lots of green trees and stop and listen to the birds, listen to everything around you. What do you hear? How do you feel? Look at the struggle around you. Work at finding a solution that you feel ok with and works for you. Stop dancing to every one else and their tune. Do not end up being the whipping post for others. Then reassess and make the right decisions for yourself.
Original post by Muttly
The important part here is to believe that you are OK that nothing is wrong with you and everything you are reacting to has a cause.
You will know what that cause is. Go and talk to a qualified medical professional sooner rather than later.
So if you feel anxious what are you feeling anxious about?
When you work what are your intrusive thoughts and why are you allowing them to become 'main stream'? They stem from somewhere? Work out what they are and why they are so bothersome.
Unravel what stressors have been affecting you over the past couple of years? Why is the focus on life specifics right now so important to you? If you stop work tomorrow and do nothing why are you worried and what would you lose? Life does not just end at 21 you have years to go at. For some Uni starts at 80 years plus.
Ok - just stop everything. What matters most to you, and why is this thing in your head the first and foremost important worry in your psyche? You are in control of this worry so why do you expect someone else to take responsibility for it or worse allow yourself to bury it and not deal with it?
You need to be in touch with how your body functions and what areas of your body you have been over reaching? If you run a marathon you won't feel like running the next day. So if you task your brain with more and more and more cognitive work how does it respond - it hurts!! Look after your brain and give it some TLC - Sometimes others encourage us to aim for unachievable goals. If you have tried fair enough but many times everyone expects Oxford or Cambridge? Then what? When are you going to take responsibility for your own life choices? There are so many opportunities out there that are fantastic but if you are in the crumpled gutter having destroyed yourself before you can take them, don't expect to get anything.
If thinking hurts your brain just stop and then listen to your body and its warning signs. Rest and start again. Stop having a relentless end goal of perfection. If you do, you are chasing someone else's goals and not listening to your own tune. Why are you setting yourself up to fail? Go into anything realistically = Plan A if you ace everything if you get what grades you want. Plan B if you get less than expected (what are your reserve Uni's etc) Plan C - If you get less than you need so what then are your plans - a year out? Enter clearing? or find an apprenticeship or just fester for a year? You choice because you own the hard drive in your head and need to be comfortable with the choices you make.
Be gentle on your head, your soul and your physical self. No point destroying it all before it has even had chance to thrive?
Just get the balance back in your life. Every day just stop. Find an area of lots of green trees and stop and listen to the birds, listen to everything around you. What do you hear? How do you feel? Look at the struggle around you. Work at finding a solution that you feel ok with and works for you. Stop dancing to every one else and their tune. Do not end up being the whipping post for others. Then reassess and make the right decisions for yourself.
You will know what that cause is. Go and talk to a qualified medical professional sooner rather than later.
So if you feel anxious what are you feeling anxious about?
When you work what are your intrusive thoughts and why are you allowing them to become 'main stream'? They stem from somewhere? Work out what they are and why they are so bothersome.
Unravel what stressors have been affecting you over the past couple of years? Why is the focus on life specifics right now so important to you? If you stop work tomorrow and do nothing why are you worried and what would you lose? Life does not just end at 21 you have years to go at. For some Uni starts at 80 years plus.
Ok - just stop everything. What matters most to you, and why is this thing in your head the first and foremost important worry in your psyche? You are in control of this worry so why do you expect someone else to take responsibility for it or worse allow yourself to bury it and not deal with it?
You need to be in touch with how your body functions and what areas of your body you have been over reaching? If you run a marathon you won't feel like running the next day. So if you task your brain with more and more and more cognitive work how does it respond - it hurts!! Look after your brain and give it some TLC - Sometimes others encourage us to aim for unachievable goals. If you have tried fair enough but many times everyone expects Oxford or Cambridge? Then what? When are you going to take responsibility for your own life choices? There are so many opportunities out there that are fantastic but if you are in the crumpled gutter having destroyed yourself before you can take them, don't expect to get anything.
If thinking hurts your brain just stop and then listen to your body and its warning signs. Rest and start again. Stop having a relentless end goal of perfection. If you do, you are chasing someone else's goals and not listening to your own tune. Why are you setting yourself up to fail? Go into anything realistically = Plan A if you ace everything if you get what grades you want. Plan B if you get less than expected (what are your reserve Uni's etc) Plan C - If you get less than you need so what then are your plans - a year out? Enter clearing? or find an apprenticeship or just fester for a year? You choice because you own the hard drive in your head and need to be comfortable with the choices you make.
Be gentle on your head, your soul and your physical self. No point destroying it all before it has even had chance to thrive?
Just get the balance back in your life. Every day just stop. Find an area of lots of green trees and stop and listen to the birds, listen to everything around you. What do you hear? How do you feel? Look at the struggle around you. Work at finding a solution that you feel ok with and works for you. Stop dancing to every one else and their tune. Do not end up being the whipping post for others. Then reassess and make the right decisions for yourself.
I dont even know what i feel anxious about now. But at the start, it was about failing. I didnt want to fail, i wanted to pass. I had so much desire and worked so hard, but felt everyone around me saying to me you will fail, dont even try. I felt i heard it from everybody. And thats where all the intrusive thoughts began from. At the start i didnt even know what they were, i thought it was god telling me to stop. Thought it was real, the thoughts. And they were horrible, holding me on chokehold.
At some points the intrusive thoughts were so much, i physiaclly felt worn out and would hide under my blanket, and try and sleep. But i wouldnt be able to.
I didnt and neither now know how to ignore them when they hit. So i began ignoring the task altogether.
My intrusive thoughts were always, you will fail. You cant do this. Even when i would complete a task and let myself know look I understand this. The thoughts wouldnt leave me alone. Bringing something more to worry about, you’ll fail. I think they may stem from my childhood. Ive always felt useless to myself, like i am not worth it. And well the people i grew up with at school, were always discouraging, inc the teachers.
I am self teaching myself a levels. And thats important to me, cauz i want to prove to myself that i can acheive A*s too, like all those at my high school and sixth form did, i was restricted and stopped by my teachers at gcses. No exams in 2020. And they put me in btec which i hated.
I just wanna prove to myself that i am like them, those top students. And i hold potential too. To achieve the top grades.
Until now ive never expected or wanted anyone to take responsibility of getting the top grades. Or whatever happens to me. I know i am solely responsible for it. Yes i felt the teachers stopped me, but i felt i needed to prove myself to them. Always waited for the opportunity, and now that i had one, my mind wouldnt stop bickering in my head.
I want to feel i have control over myself and life and set the balance. But its not easy. I feel like i have no choice in that. I know i am falling victim to life, feeling like i have no choice to choose my desires. I physically feel disabled to attempt at life.
Thank you for the post!
Original post by Tanyme
I dont even know what i feel anxious about now. But at the start, it was about failing. I didnt want to fail, i wanted to pass. I had so much desire and worked so hard, but felt everyone around me saying to me you will fail, dont even try. I felt i heard it from everybody. And thats where all the intrusive thoughts began from. At the start i didnt even know what they were, i thought it was god telling me to stop. Thought it was real, the thoughts. And they were horrible, holding me on chokehold.
At some points the intrusive thoughts were so much, i physiaclly felt worn out and would hide under my blanket, and try and sleep. But i wouldnt be able to.
I didnt and neither now know how to ignore them when they hit. So i began ignoring the task altogether.
My intrusive thoughts were always, you will fail. You cant do this. Even when i would complete a task and let myself know look I understand this. The thoughts wouldnt leave me alone. Bringing something more to worry about, you’ll fail. I think they may stem from my childhood. Ive always felt useless to myself, like i am not worth it. And well the people i grew up with at school, were always discouraging, inc the teachers.
I am self teaching myself a levels. And thats important to me, cauz i want to prove to myself that i can acheive A*s too, like all those at my high school and sixth form did, i was restricted and stopped by my teachers at gcses. No exams in 2020. And they put me in btec which i hated.
I just wanna prove to myself that i am like them, those top students. And i hold potential too. To achieve the top grades.
Until now ive never expected or wanted anyone to take responsibility of getting the top grades. Or whatever happens to me. I know i am solely responsible for it. Yes i felt the teachers stopped me, but i felt i needed to prove myself to them. Always waited for the opportunity, and now that i had one, my mind wouldnt stop bickering in my head.
I want to feel i have control over myself and life and set the balance. But its not easy. I feel like i have no choice in that. I know i am falling victim to life, feeling like i have no choice to choose my desires. I physically feel disabled to attempt at life.
Thank you for the post!
At some points the intrusive thoughts were so much, i physiaclly felt worn out and would hide under my blanket, and try and sleep. But i wouldnt be able to.
I didnt and neither now know how to ignore them when they hit. So i began ignoring the task altogether.
My intrusive thoughts were always, you will fail. You cant do this. Even when i would complete a task and let myself know look I understand this. The thoughts wouldnt leave me alone. Bringing something more to worry about, you’ll fail. I think they may stem from my childhood. Ive always felt useless to myself, like i am not worth it. And well the people i grew up with at school, were always discouraging, inc the teachers.
I am self teaching myself a levels. And thats important to me, cauz i want to prove to myself that i can acheive A*s too, like all those at my high school and sixth form did, i was restricted and stopped by my teachers at gcses. No exams in 2020. And they put me in btec which i hated.
I just wanna prove to myself that i am like them, those top students. And i hold potential too. To achieve the top grades.
Until now ive never expected or wanted anyone to take responsibility of getting the top grades. Or whatever happens to me. I know i am solely responsible for it. Yes i felt the teachers stopped me, but i felt i needed to prove myself to them. Always waited for the opportunity, and now that i had one, my mind wouldnt stop bickering in my head.
I want to feel i have control over myself and life and set the balance. But its not easy. I feel like i have no choice in that. I know i am falling victim to life, feeling like i have no choice to choose my desires. I physically feel disabled to attempt at life.
Thank you for the post!
But i promise i get up every morning now and try and work. But my body would start reacting, horrifying me. And i would stop. And after a few days i would repeat again, for the whole cycle to start again.
but recently, ive learnt to just stay there and try. But my brain begins to shut of, and i feel weak and depressed.
I’ve given myself a long break. The whole of may.
But i dont know if its gotten worse or better. Heck i cant even remember my days anymore, what yesterday was like.
all my brain thinks of is surving. I dont wanna be here no more, i am not sucidal. But living like me with what i have and who i am, i dont want to.
(edited 10 months ago)
If only we could screw off one head and replace it with another one like a happy emoji when the old one got grumpy!
Even when the world stops and there is a moments of quiet it is hard to still the brain waves and damp down the idle chatter that keeps on going in our heads - just like a pick axe. Recognise when it starts and tell the noise to stop. The sooner you spot the rot the easier it is to quell the din. Positive affirming thoughts are always the best - "I am going to ....." I will ......
Try meditation (under guidance or a class if you can) it can change the brain wave patterns created and give a feeling of relaxation and contentment
Take a small positive and find a word for it. Repeat the reminder word over and over to remind yourself that you 'did it' Done it once, do it again.
Try a yoga or deep breathing relaxation app to help you relax
When everything seems overwhelming take just one small piece of the hard stuff and do that right now, today. 1% effort is better than no effort at all.
So do a little bit now and tell your head that you just "DID IT" Keep going and never give in.
Tomorrow can change everything so never give up on hope either.
Well done for just having the courage to try and move a mountain. If you believe you can you will. Never give up.
Even when the world stops and there is a moments of quiet it is hard to still the brain waves and damp down the idle chatter that keeps on going in our heads - just like a pick axe. Recognise when it starts and tell the noise to stop. The sooner you spot the rot the easier it is to quell the din. Positive affirming thoughts are always the best - "I am going to ....." I will ......
Try meditation (under guidance or a class if you can) it can change the brain wave patterns created and give a feeling of relaxation and contentment
Take a small positive and find a word for it. Repeat the reminder word over and over to remind yourself that you 'did it' Done it once, do it again.
Try a yoga or deep breathing relaxation app to help you relax
When everything seems overwhelming take just one small piece of the hard stuff and do that right now, today. 1% effort is better than no effort at all.
So do a little bit now and tell your head that you just "DID IT" Keep going and never give in.
Tomorrow can change everything so never give up on hope either.
Well done for just having the courage to try and move a mountain. If you believe you can you will. Never give up.
Thanks. I told you my whole story and my goal and what I believe my potential is. Not once have you tried discouraging me, or imply i need to not attempt at my goals or imply that you doubt my capabilities. Left me in awe at first, now I really appreciate that, thanks! A lot I really really appreciate it.
