Hi, this might be a long one so thank you for reading!
*TW: Eating disorder, weight loss / gain.*
I am currently in 2nd year at uni going into 3rd, and for lack of a better word I was raised scrungly. I never really got taught to wash properly, hygiene wasn’t a really big thing growing up, we farted, burped and my parents talked about pooping and **** quite a lot. I know it’s a bit disgusting. Also as a fat person I feel as though I’m helping to reinforce the stereotype that fat people are unhealthy and unhygienic but I am.
I don’t smell, I’ve actually asked people if I smell and I’m assured I don’t at all so that isn’t the issue at all, but I do constantly feel sweaty and sticky and I feel smell even in the winter, if that makes sense? I was a tomboy growing up and never cared what I looked like or how I smelt or anything like that, but I’m now 20 and love more ‘girly things’ (outdated term but we move) like jewellery, nail varnish, skin routines, hair, makeup etc!
I know I’m also not the healthiest, not necessarily with the food I eat but more so with the amount I eat as my parents are feeders. They like to make a stack of food and have given me that habit too. I do struggle with binge eating disorder which doesn’t help. I eat a lot of food at once and feel mentally and physically sick later and find it really hard to leave food on a plate. I see food and I want to finish it. This is an issue I am working on but it definitely relates to this unhygienic feeling issue that I have going on.
All of this added with failing a module this year as well as ongoing family issues is making my mental health awful. Is there anything I can do to make myself feel better? Any skin routines or advice for that front? Do other people feel like this? Any advice or knowing I’m not alone going through the feelings would be appreciated!
Thank you so much,
-M