Rating my essay for English 1st language GCSE

Write a descriptive essay in 400 words about an accident.

I awake to the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life. My head throbs with every beat of my heart in white hot flashes of pain. Deep within my chest, something broken aches sharply with every breath I take. The metallic taste of blood pools in my mouth, my mangled tongue contributing to the hellish hurt I feel all over my body. I must have bitten it during the impact.
I’m hanging upside down in my seat, held in place only by my seatbelt. My car is overturned, lying helplessly on the ground as onlookers panic and call for help. I catch sight of the huge lorry that had come out of nowhere from my rearview mirror. One of its headlights is smashed in from when it crashed into my car, sending it flying.
“Hello? Can you hear me? Are you awake?” A man leans down to check on me through my broken window.
I groan weakly in response. The glass from my ruined window lies on the ceiling of my car, glinting under the sunlight like precious crystals. I clumsily search for my seatbelt buckle and find it, pressing down on the button to release myself from its suffocating hold. I fall and land on my back with a ‘thump’. The glass cuts into my leather jacket like pinprick needles, thankfully not piercing my skin yet.
The man is quick to react, grabbing my arm and pulling me out from my car. A panicked lady informs me that help is arriving. I thank them as best as I can with my wounded tongue.
The asphalt road is scorching beneath my body, even through the protection of my clothes. The sun beats down on me mercilessly, worsening my terrible headache. Now that I’m no longer in my car, I can pick up on the slight hint of gasoline. That’s bad news.
An ambulance arrives, blasting its alarm as cars veer to the side to make way for its passage. I begin to drift in and out of consciousness as the paramedics lift me up onto a stretcher and wheel me into the vehicle.
Before they can close the doors, the telltale ‘boom!’ of an explosion shocks the air. From my limited view of the scene, I watch my car burst into flames. The nearby crowd cries out.
My eyelids grow heavy once again. Right before I lose consciousness, a single thought runs through my head: I hope my insurance covers this.