Parents and Counselling
My school found out about my issues w sh and they immediately called home after much back and forth w me. They offered me counselling in school but my parents don't want me to go due to not wanting me to get a label of being "unwell".I think because i do it in a really hidden place, they also don't really sees how often i do it/how "bad" it is.
It's also already on the safeguarding system and i'm so scared that they'll tell my sixth form abt it as that's what my head of year said they'll have to do as part of safeguarding.
There is a step down from the profesh counselling but I'd rather not go there as the woman who's there is the one who told me they wouldn't call my parents and then they did
so i don't really trust her. I'm not talking to anyone for support at the moment.
Basically what I'm asking is 1) How can i convince my parents to let me go counselling 2) If anyone has told their secondary abt sh, does it go to sixth form? and 3) How can i stop hating the lady because it's draining so much of my energy and I can't do it anymore.
It's also already on the safeguarding system and i'm so scared that they'll tell my sixth form abt it as that's what my head of year said they'll have to do as part of safeguarding.
There is a step down from the profesh counselling but I'd rather not go there as the woman who's there is the one who told me they wouldn't call my parents and then they did
so i don't really trust her. I'm not talking to anyone for support at the moment.Basically what I'm asking is 1) How can i convince my parents to let me go counselling 2) If anyone has told their secondary abt sh, does it go to sixth form? and 3) How can i stop hating the lady because it's draining so much of my energy and I can't do it anymore.
Original post by Anonymous
My school found out about my issues w sh and they immediately called home after much back and forth w me. They offered me counselling in school but my parents don't want me to go due to not wanting me to get a label of being "unwell".I think because i do it in a really hidden place, they also don't really sees how often i do it/how "bad" it is.
It's also already on the safeguarding system and i'm so scared that they'll tell my sixth form abt it as that's what my head of year said they'll have to do as part of safeguarding.
There is a step down from the profesh counselling but I'd rather not go there as the woman who's there is the one who told me they wouldn't call my parents and then they did so i don't really trust her. I'm not talking to anyone for support at the moment.
Basically what I'm asking is 1) How can i convince my parents to let me go counselling 2) If anyone has told their secondary abt sh, does it go to sixth form? and 3) How can i stop hating the lady because it's draining so much of my energy and I can't do it anymore.
It's also already on the safeguarding system and i'm so scared that they'll tell my sixth form abt it as that's what my head of year said they'll have to do as part of safeguarding.
There is a step down from the profesh counselling but I'd rather not go there as the woman who's there is the one who told me they wouldn't call my parents and then they did
so i don't really trust her. I'm not talking to anyone for support at the moment.Basically what I'm asking is 1) How can i convince my parents to let me go counselling 2) If anyone has told their secondary abt sh, does it go to sixth form? and 3) How can i stop hating the lady because it's draining so much of my energy and I can't do it anymore.
Q1. You explained why you think your parents don't want you to go. I suggest you have a heart to heart talk with them, let's them explain why they really don't want you to go then explain and help them see why counseling is good for you. I'm sure counseling is supposed to be private, not everyone will know.
Q2. I think your school's main focus should be to make you feel safe and comfortable whilst on school grounds. I think some of your teachers will be made aware but not the entire class. If they class is made aware then that's totally unprofessional and unacceptable.
Q3. You shouldn't hate her, if anything she was looking out for you. I think she lied about not telling your parents because she wanted you to open up (But I don't recommend that approach). When someone sh parents must be made aware. Right now focus on talking to your parents and getting better.
I hope now that your parents know it will get easier, all the best
Original post by Anonymous
Q1. You explained why you think your parents don't want you to go. I suggest you have a heart to heart talk with them, let's them explain why they really don't want you to go then explain and help them see why counseling is good for you. I'm sure counseling is supposed to be private, not everyone will know.
Q2. I think your school's main focus should be to make you feel safe and comfortable whilst on school grounds. I think some of your teachers will be made aware but not the entire class. If they class is made aware then that's totally unprofessional and unacceptable.
Q3. You shouldn't hate her, if anything she was looking out for you. I think she lied about not telling your parents because she wanted you to open up (But I don't recommend that approach). When someone sh parents must be made aware. Right now focus on talking to your parents and getting better.
I hope now that your parents know it will get easier, all the best
Q2. I think your school's main focus should be to make you feel safe and comfortable whilst on school grounds. I think some of your teachers will be made aware but not the entire class. If they class is made aware then that's totally unprofessional and unacceptable.
Q3. You shouldn't hate her, if anything she was looking out for you. I think she lied about not telling your parents because she wanted you to open up (But I don't recommend that approach). When someone sh parents must be made aware. Right now focus on talking to your parents and getting better.
I hope now that your parents know it will get easier, all the best
1) I had a discussion with my mom but it was over text because in person i just started crying and it still was just awful. So i just told her to never bring it up again and she just hasn’t? The teacher will ask me again if i want to do it in september so maybe this is the time to bring it up right? (3rd times the charm)
2) I’m more so worried about moving schools and them telling them my business. Do you know anything about that? Some of the teachers do already know and in great detail which is really upsetting (another thing the lady didn’t tell me about
)3) i’m glad you said this. I’ve always thought it but my mind was telling me “no she didn’t, you are just dumb” but you are right, that’s exactly what she did. It was my first session as well. But acknowledging that fact makes me hate her even more, and not acknowledging it just makes me blame myself so what’s the best way to feel about this. I did go and see her in an attempt to gain a bit of closure and it temporarily worked but now i just hate her again as i’m realising she isn’t at all a nice person as i can just see through all her techniques
Hi.. I know how you feel, so much of this was so similar to what i had before :
1. Yes, speak to your parents. Don't worry about coming it shows the struggle you are having. Say to them you feel the counselling will help support you in better managing and controlling the urges of self harm and I'm pretty sure you're parents don't want you self harming and so should be open to you getting the help to do this. There is stigma attached to counselling my family came, even when i have a general review with the doc it's why etc. But getting counselling is private and it's not abour getting a label of being unwell, they don't diagnose you it's just like a conversation with a trained person and you could say thatto them. It's in school I'm presuming or an out patient centre and so that can sometimes be better ..but yeah listen to them and answer according. If not then when you speak to teacher you could just say look i want to but my parents aren't too keen on it as they have a few worries about it and the teacher might be able to help address some of these as well.
2. Okay so when you move to sixth form they would get a report on like your academic, grades the statement and everything else which is like information thst would be passed on for every student. On this it won't say any sensitive information. Any other additional info that needs to be passed on regarding that individual is sensitive like SEN needs, safeguarding yes this needs to be passed on for your care but this is separate and would be sent to the relevant college person ie the safeguarding lead there and therefore this is separate to your academic stuff/admissions stiff. Sayibg from experience. However again, feel free to ask a teacher about this so they can reassure you further.
3. I understand how hurt it must have made your feel when she said she won't and sge did.the approach of promising confidentiality should not be used as frankly proffessionallls can't keep everything confidential and sometimes they do have to for duty if care. Schools In that also have a lower threshold as well than let's say doctors. She should have explained that she can't keep everything confidenti and there's may be times when she has to share some info with other people and perhaps given you an idea as to who buy should say that essentially only people that need to know will need to know. When this happened to me it really upset me and everything but i just went up after a couple of days once I'd processed it and had an honest conversation with them about how it made me feel and how i would've appreciated then being honest. Honestly is most important in these things!
1. Yes, speak to your parents. Don't worry about coming it shows the struggle you are having. Say to them you feel the counselling will help support you in better managing and controlling the urges of self harm and I'm pretty sure you're parents don't want you self harming and so should be open to you getting the help to do this. There is stigma attached to counselling my family came, even when i have a general review with the doc it's why etc. But getting counselling is private and it's not abour getting a label of being unwell, they don't diagnose you it's just like a conversation with a trained person and you could say thatto them. It's in school I'm presuming or an out patient centre and so that can sometimes be better ..but yeah listen to them and answer according. If not then when you speak to teacher you could just say look i want to but my parents aren't too keen on it as they have a few worries about it and the teacher might be able to help address some of these as well.
2. Okay so when you move to sixth form they would get a report on like your academic, grades the statement and everything else which is like information thst would be passed on for every student. On this it won't say any sensitive information. Any other additional info that needs to be passed on regarding that individual is sensitive like SEN needs, safeguarding yes this needs to be passed on for your care but this is separate and would be sent to the relevant college person ie the safeguarding lead there and therefore this is separate to your academic stuff/admissions stiff. Sayibg from experience. However again, feel free to ask a teacher about this so they can reassure you further.
3. I understand how hurt it must have made your feel when she said she won't and sge did.the approach of promising confidentiality should not be used as frankly proffessionallls can't keep everything confidential and sometimes they do have to for duty if care. Schools In that also have a lower threshold as well than let's say doctors. She should have explained that she can't keep everything confidenti and there's may be times when she has to share some info with other people and perhaps given you an idea as to who buy should say that essentially only people that need to know will need to know. When this happened to me it really upset me and everything but i just went up after a couple of days once I'd processed it and had an honest conversation with them about how it made me feel and how i would've appreciated then being honest. Honestly is most important in these things!
Original post by unknownforever
Hi.. I know how you feel, so much of this was so similar to what i had before :
1. Yes, speak to your parents. Don't worry about coming it shows the struggle you are having. Say to them you feel the counselling will help support you in better managing and controlling the urges of self harm and I'm pretty sure you're parents don't want you self harming and so should be open to you getting the help to do this. There is stigma attached to counselling my family came, even when i have a general review with the doc it's why etc. But getting counselling is private and it's not abour getting a label of being unwell, they don't diagnose you it's just like a conversation with a trained person and you could say thatto them. It's in school I'm presuming or an out patient centre and so that can sometimes be better ..but yeah listen to them and answer according. If not then when you speak to teacher you could just say look i want to but my parents aren't too keen on it as they have a few worries about it and the teacher might be able to help address some of these as well.
2. Okay so when you move to sixth form they would get a report on like your academic, grades the statement and everything else which is like information thst would be passed on for every student. On this it won't say any sensitive information. Any other additional info that needs to be passed on regarding that individual is sensitive like SEN needs, safeguarding yes this needs to be passed on for your care but this is separate and would be sent to the relevant college person ie the safeguarding lead there and therefore this is separate to your academic stuff/admissions stiff. Sayibg from experience. However again, feel free to ask a teacher about this so they can reassure you further.
3. I understand how hurt it must have made your feel when she said she won't and sge did.the approach of promising confidentiality should not be used as frankly proffessionallls can't keep everything confidential and sometimes they do have to for duty if care. Schools In that also have a lower threshold as well than let's say doctors. She should have explained that she can't keep everything confidenti and there's may be times when she has to share some info with other people and perhaps given you an idea as to who buy should say that essentially only people that need to know will need to know. When this happened to me it really upset me and everything but i just went up after a couple of days once I'd processed it and had an honest conversation with them about how it made me feel and how i would've appreciated then being honest. Honestly is most important in these things!
1. Yes, speak to your parents. Don't worry about coming it shows the struggle you are having. Say to them you feel the counselling will help support you in better managing and controlling the urges of self harm and I'm pretty sure you're parents don't want you self harming and so should be open to you getting the help to do this. There is stigma attached to counselling my family came, even when i have a general review with the doc it's why etc. But getting counselling is private and it's not abour getting a label of being unwell, they don't diagnose you it's just like a conversation with a trained person and you could say thatto them. It's in school I'm presuming or an out patient centre and so that can sometimes be better ..but yeah listen to them and answer according. If not then when you speak to teacher you could just say look i want to but my parents aren't too keen on it as they have a few worries about it and the teacher might be able to help address some of these as well.
2. Okay so when you move to sixth form they would get a report on like your academic, grades the statement and everything else which is like information thst would be passed on for every student. On this it won't say any sensitive information. Any other additional info that needs to be passed on regarding that individual is sensitive like SEN needs, safeguarding yes this needs to be passed on for your care but this is separate and would be sent to the relevant college person ie the safeguarding lead there and therefore this is separate to your academic stuff/admissions stiff. Sayibg from experience. However again, feel free to ask a teacher about this so they can reassure you further.
3. I understand how hurt it must have made your feel when she said she won't and sge did.the approach of promising confidentiality should not be used as frankly proffessionallls can't keep everything confidential and sometimes they do have to for duty if care. Schools In that also have a lower threshold as well than let's say doctors. She should have explained that she can't keep everything confidenti and there's may be times when she has to share some info with other people and perhaps given you an idea as to who buy should say that essentially only people that need to know will need to know. When this happened to me it really upset me and everything but i just went up after a couple of days once I'd processed it and had an honest conversation with them about how it made me feel and how i would've appreciated then being honest. Honestly is most important in these things!
1. I’ll try again in september, thank you though
2. I just don’t want a random person i don’t know to know that i sh though?? It’s so like random, i’m a rather private person and i’d rather not
3. she’s a liar honestly. I’m still not over it and i really really dislike her. I hope she rots in hell
