The Student Room Group

i cant physically make myself go to college due to my severe social anxiety

i break down and cry, shake and i start to hyperventilate and i am so scared, i cant go into any college buildings and even the thought of it sends me into a full blown panic attack. college is starting soon and everyday i freak out and have many panic attacks. i feel like my life is out of control and i cant do anything. i cant put myself through this

is there any ways i can do full time education with college at home? i really need advice soon because i cant deal with this for much longer (my mom cant afford to homeschool me so i have to stay in full time education)
Reply 1
What are you studying? Have you liked at something like Wolsey Hall Oxford orOpen University? Do you have access to support through an EHCP?
Reply 2
No - you should not stop at home in isolation.

You need to face your social anxiety and understand how and why this has been allowed to develop to such an extent your only life is a self imprisonment inside 4 walls? This is an inexcusable waste of your life when there is so much out there for you to find and enjoy. It matters not whether you have a broken leg or a broken neck, you cannot recover from a physical injury without doing rehabilitation exercises. The same applies to your mind - it is no different when you make your mind go to rehab and you have to be determined to do something about this. No one else can do this for you. If you keep avoiding your fear it grows into a monster and you will have no life. That is such a waste. Life is short enough. Often your fear of your fear is far far worse than reality will ever be. The website of MIND has some good support.

Get some professional medical advice and explain what issues you are having, but don't let this hold you back from starting a new and exciting adventure in your life going forward.

Make contact with your college and ask if anyone can meet you from the college, just to talk to someone about what happens, and what to expect. Tell them how you feel. Ask if they have some pictures of the college you can look at, or video's of the layout and site that you can download. Talk to them to see how they can welcome you. Watch the video's every few hours and remind yourself that everything will be ok? You then have a point of contact for when you are ready to go to college and they can meet you there and help you acclimatise. Everyone will be extremely nervous on their first few days (and weeks) but if you let your fear become overblown it will destroy you. You are trying to talk to an illogical part of your brain but if you recognise the first signs of nervousness when they start - breathe them all out until you are calm and tell yourself this is your choice to deal with this. When you have a calm mind start again and repeat the same process - looking at pictures and talking to college helpers.

How was your social life before college? Presumably you have made at least one good friend in the last few years? Use your friend to help you stop the fear escalation, and practice deep breathing until this is the norm. Show your friend the college video and talk about it together. Then remind yourself if you have one good friend you will find another good friend when you start college.

If you are registered as a student with the college, ask if they have any talking therapies to help you over the next few weeks.

If time is short try using a hypnotherapist. A lot of this work is mind visualisation in a relaxed state, and desensitisation by looking at images or imagining you are in a good place (college) without any fears. Find a registered hypnotherapist - search under The National Council for Hypnotherapy

Do not stay at home imprisoned by your own rules (or other people's rules either)
Original post by misou
i break down and cry, shake and i start to hyperventilate and i am so scared, i cant go into any college buildings and even the thought of it sends me into a full blown panic attack. college is starting soon and everyday i freak out and have many panic attacks. i feel like my life is out of control and i cant do anything. i cant put myself through this

is there any ways i can do full time education with college at home? i really need advice soon because i cant deal with this for much longer (my mom cant afford to homeschool me so i have to stay in full time education)


Maybe try going on meds and when you get to college ask for 1-1 therapy I believe it’s free on the NHS
Reply 4
Social skills:

Be open, relaxed, approachable, friendly, lighten up


0) You can try nlp exercises, meditation, breathing techniques, visualisation. You can read books on this subject and there is a wealth of resources on the internet, youtube regarding this subject.

1) Relax, imagine you're just observing or there as a traveller. For example, if you are on holiday, you go there to experience and observe the attraction, you're not going to get anxious doing that are you?

2) Smile, smiling in contagious.

3) Be confident, respect yourself, accept yourself, work out, wear good clothes, feel good, focus on your passions, know you are a good person who treats people well, you have got as much right as everyone else.

Think positively, be proud of yourself, do things that make you happy, remember your happy times, what makes you confident? What makes you proud? Do you have a skill you are good at? Do things like cooking, driving, learning that increases your confidence daily. Relax.

Have good posture, body language, improve your appearance. Be happy with yourself.

4) Dress well, have good grooming, hairstyle, have good posture.

5) Just say hi or hey to people in your vicinity, who cares if they don't say anything back?

6) Ask how they are, how's everything, how's it going, what's the latest, what made them choose this course, their plans for the future, their plans for the rest of the day, weekend, how was their weekend, their day, what they will get up to, what they got up to, ask them about their hobbies, talk about what's happening. You could read up on current affairs.

Talk about the weather or did you see that sports game? Just mingle with them,

Compliment them, say "I like your jacket".

If you know they went on a holiday or somewhere, ask them about it etc.

7) Be passionate about life.

8) In group discussions, relax and talk to someone close or if someone says something you know, you can talk then. Stay relaxed.

9) Lighten up, have a laugh, laugh easily, be friendly, approachable, interested, relaxed.

10) You can write things down and come up with a rational reframed response, keep a journal of your thoughts, reach out to people slowly

Be kind to yourself
The only one who can understand you and take care of you, is you, yourself
So you must take care of yourself.
Reply 6
Original post by BankaiGintoki
The only one who can understand you and take care of you, is you, yourself
So you must take care of yourself.


That is correct, but sometimes people need help to help them look after themselves.

It sounds like this is very debilitating for you, OP. I'm wondering if you have ever had any help with your social anxiety?

Quick Reply

Latest

Trending

Trending