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All my friends have gone to uni and I feel like I have nothing

Last week all my friends and boyfriend went to uni and I didn’t because I didn’t get the grades and couldn’t stand the thought of the debt so decided not to go. But now everyone in my hometown has gone and I have never felt more alone in my entire life. I can’t stop crying because I have no friends here and just don’t what to do anymore. I have a pretty decent job and I’m earning a lot which I thought would make up for it but it just hasn’t. I just feel like everyone is forgetting me as no one has messaged me once over the past week and I can feel my boyfriend becoming more distant. I’m trying to visit every weekend because it’s not too far and I can afford it but my family told me that I should just leave people alone because they’re living their own lives and I should live mine but I just feel like I have nothing left. I can’t eat and the only way I can get to sleep is by drinking and I don’t want to go down that road but I just don’t know what else to do. Just any advice would be appreciated :smile:
Give them all the chance to settle in, and start reaching out. You should to talk to them. Tell them how you're feeling too. I'm sure a few of them are struggling to settle in, and adjust to their new life - just like you are.

Group chats are amazing, get a select group of close friends in one and send them videos, posts, memes, anything.
Ring them too, and ask them to do the same for you. Maybe, if both parties are willing, send hand written letters to your friends and boyfriend. That's a nice way to keep connected too.

But, if you find yourself being the one reaching out a large majority of the time, it's a clear sign they're not putting in the effort and you will need to start moving on. Remember, this is not your fault.

Unfortunately this will also be a tough time to process, and you likely will start losing friends if this happens. It's a very sad and upsetting time in any young person's life, myself included, I've lost many since leaving secondary school in 2020 (at the peak of COVID). But they gave me so many memories to look fondly back on, gave me much cherished lessons, and allowed me to realise what sort of people I want to be associated with in my life.

There's plenty of clubs and perhaps societies around where you're living if you can squeeze them in with work.

Whatever happens, I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but it will get better.
Wishing you all the best, Anon.
My sis had a similar experience but she eventually got a job she really loves and made new friends. When her old friends came back they did hang out and the few close ones got close again but it did take a while to get used to it all.

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