I'm not excited for my future anymore.
My future is looking dull. I got so depressed over something unrelated to education that I flunked my GCSEs, mind you I was only doing 4 of them. I stopped going to school or doing anything. I got 4's for them all except for English. What a ******* joke. On here, there are people that worry about getting an 8 instead of a 9 and I pull off this comical performance. ******* disgusting.
I know I said I was depressed but I'm the only one I can really blame. If I'd just considered what would've happened I would've succeeded. Now my life is straight up ruined. I genuinely feel like I've done something immoral. Sometimes you just need to bear the pain and that's that.
I wanted to do computer science research or software engineering at a high level, but those doors are now closed. I'm doing a BTEC (with my English) now and I can only go to mid-tier unis with bare minimum GCSEs. I can only get a mediocre job or work at Mcdonalds (which requires GCSE English so maybe even that's too much to ask for).
People often say mid-tier unis are ******* bad. Someone said an under-performer at Oxbridge is superior and more academically capable than the hardest worker at a mid-tier uni. Would mid-tier unis even accept me with those frankly *****y GCSEs?
Not helping was that I saw a thread on r/GCSE about someone who was too depressed to revise. A reply said "You'll be a failure if you don't revise. That's the plain truth. Don't let that be reality." I'm that failure . I let that be reality. I'm what they were warning about. They also said something along the lines of "Your employer won't take depression as an excuse." No one cares. I'm just a faulty cog that'll be thrown away in few years' time. No one will care. I'm a failure that top achievers will use to motivate themselves by saying: "I don't want to be THEM.", "If I don't revise I'll end up like THEM." and "At least I'm not THEM." People will recoil at the very thought of living my life. I can feel all of the people that aspire to study at Oxbridge and other Russel groups and those who are already there look down on me, the *****y BTEC idiot who can't even pass English.
I work harder now. It's all up and down emotionally now. When I step into school I feel a wave of humiliation but I do get **** done. I'm very scared of the past repeating itself.
I'm working for mediocrity. All of this work is going to be for mediocrity. My life is just a shadow of an ideal. I'm a dead man walking.
Tl;dr: I got bare minimum GCSEs, have to study BTEC, I feel disgusting and that my life will never amount to anything.
I know I said I was depressed but I'm the only one I can really blame. If I'd just considered what would've happened I would've succeeded. Now my life is straight up ruined. I genuinely feel like I've done something immoral. Sometimes you just need to bear the pain and that's that.
I wanted to do computer science research or software engineering at a high level, but those doors are now closed. I'm doing a BTEC (with my English) now and I can only go to mid-tier unis with bare minimum GCSEs. I can only get a mediocre job or work at Mcdonalds (which requires GCSE English so maybe even that's too much to ask for).
People often say mid-tier unis are ******* bad. Someone said an under-performer at Oxbridge is superior and more academically capable than the hardest worker at a mid-tier uni. Would mid-tier unis even accept me with those frankly *****y GCSEs?
Not helping was that I saw a thread on r/GCSE about someone who was too depressed to revise. A reply said "You'll be a failure if you don't revise. That's the plain truth. Don't let that be reality." I'm that failure . I let that be reality. I'm what they were warning about. They also said something along the lines of "Your employer won't take depression as an excuse." No one cares. I'm just a faulty cog that'll be thrown away in few years' time. No one will care. I'm a failure that top achievers will use to motivate themselves by saying: "I don't want to be THEM.", "If I don't revise I'll end up like THEM." and "At least I'm not THEM." People will recoil at the very thought of living my life. I can feel all of the people that aspire to study at Oxbridge and other Russel groups and those who are already there look down on me, the *****y BTEC idiot who can't even pass English.
I work harder now. It's all up and down emotionally now. When I step into school I feel a wave of humiliation but I do get **** done. I'm very scared of the past repeating itself.
I'm working for mediocrity. All of this work is going to be for mediocrity. My life is just a shadow of an ideal. I'm a dead man walking.
Tl;dr: I got bare minimum GCSEs, have to study BTEC, I feel disgusting and that my life will never amount to anything.
Can you not repeat your GCSEs and take more now that you're working harder?
Original post by Sorcerer of Old
Can you not repeat your GCSEs and take more now that you're working harder?
Not really as the school doesn't have enough financing apparently. I did ask the school about it and they said they were going to have a meeting so I'm waiting on it. I'm just not betting on them saying yes.
Can't you retake them privately at a different college?
Original post by foreverrocking2
Can't you retake them privately at a different college?
Doesn't it cost money to take exams privately? I don't think my parents would pay for it tbh.
Original post by Sev.2
Doesn't it cost money to take exams privately? I don't think my parents would pay for it tbh.
Not even if your parents understand that having more GCSEs with better grades will open a lot of opportunities for you? I also understand not everyone's financial situation is the same though.
(edited 7 months ago)
Original post by Sorcerer of Old
Not even if your parents understand that having more GCSE grades with better grades will open a lot of opportunities for you? I also understand not everyone's financial situation is the same though.
They think that the BTEC is okay. Even if I told them they would think I'm being grandiose unfortunately.
Original post by Sev.2
They think that the BTEC is okay. Even if I told them they would think I'm being grandiose unfortunately.
Considering your doing A level you could do a part time job and fund it?
Original post by Anonymous
Considering your doing A level you could do a part time job and fund it?
I'm not doing A levels, sorry. I don't have english so I probably wouldn't get hired.
Original post by Sev.2
I'm not doing A levels, sorry. I don't have english so I probably wouldn't get hired.
Oh right, tbh most places don't check
