How to stop over-perfectionism.

I’m in year 11 currently and I understand exactly how you feel. But I am doing better now, and I think it’s probably down to the fact that over the last few months, people have done better than me on certain tests, or I’ve got things wrong, but then I’ve realised that it’s ok.

If you mostly get good grades, then why should it matter if somebody else gets a good grade, that’s maybe a little better than yours. I know it’s difficult. Just think about the end goal. Whether or not someone beats you by a couple of marks in a test, or you get something wrong in front of people, is not going to affect your future. Nobody can perform perfectly all the time. That’s just a fact. Don’t try to force yourself to. It doesn’t matter what other people are expecting you to get, if you’re still working hard.

And trust me, there are so many people out there like you. We’ll get through it.

I'm a person who is mostly a higher grade student and it has recently gotten to a point where I cannot handle any grade lower than my expectations for myself.

It almost feels like other people even expect me to get higher grades, due to that reputation I set for myself during year 7. I fear someone saying: 'Wow, I got higher score than them!' or even just the simple question 'what did you get?'.

Now that I've started my gcse year 10, it's affecting my mental health a lot and it feels like no one can really understand me or advise me. It is an awful feeling to have especially when I work so hard every day and I'm not sure how to manage how I feel.

Can anyone relate or offer me any advice on my over-perfectionism?

Hi I get what you feel. When I was doing my GCSE perfectionism CONSUMED me. I felt really stuck.

I would try and firstly discuss with a counsellor if possible (or at least someone in person about this) , it does help to get the load off your shoulders. What helped me is to focus on what I did well and then what I did less well (basically start with the positives and then go on what you could do better). It switches your mindset.

Secondly, ignore people who start comparing results whether it be online or in person. You should focus on yourself rather than what someone else is doing. They could be good at something your not and you can be good at something they're not, that's just a fact (as harsh as it seems). If you can find someone who is willing to help with your errors and equally you helping with someone else then that's great! But otherwise if they just want to point out how 'smart' they are then that says more about their insecurity than yours.

Thirdly, try find an activity to get your mind of exams and results of the time. I found that doing sports helps not only with organisation of my time during exams but I can focus my energy on to something else avoiding perfectionism and anxiety.

Hope this helps! xxx Good luck!