Grades getting better as health gets worse
I'm a second year uni student and last year I really struggled with uni in general, I haven't made any friends here and I was feeling really demotivated so was only studying a couple hours a day and as a result was getting pretty low grades.
This year I've been feeling way more motivated and have been studying for 8+ hours a day and as a result have been doing much better, I get decent essay grades and am prepared/able to speak in tutorials but in my general life I am probably doing worse.
Over the past few months my mental health basically took a nosedive. I started getting quite bad anxiety and panic attacks and irrational health worries. There was a period of about a month where I wouldn't get out of bed because I was convinced I was dying of cancer. I thought that had stopped and I would be fine when I went back to uni though but it has sort of manifested again these past few weeks but not as bad.
I also drink way more than a healthy amount and over the last few months the amount I drink has crept up from having maybe 2 glasses of wine or one vodka and tonic a day to having probably more like 5 or 6. I drink alone in my room and the other night I drank about 1/3 of a bottle of vodka basically without realising it.
I have stopped eating properly, initially it was skipping lunch so that I could study more but now its moved on to having a small bowl of cereal in the morning (about 200 calories) and something like one of those small one person frozen pizzas (about 400 calories) in the evening and I can see the weight loss already. It's not like an eating disorder thing though, I don't think I'm fat and I know I was a healthy weight to start with, its more like that I don't feel like I "deserve" to eat unless I have studied enough for the day and I like seeing the weight loss because to me it is the result of my dedication showing on my body.
I know the way I'm living isn't healthy and to an outsider looking in it would look like my mental health is obviously worse than this time last year but to me it doesn't feel like it is. I have more anxiety but I'm motivated and I'm doing well, I get out of bed feeling almost excited to study for the day and show how well I can do rather than last year when I had to drag myself out of bed everyday.
I don't really know why I posted this, I just wanted somewhere to vent and rant. I know the obvious replies will be that I should speak to someone about my mental health but I can't get past the feeling that I would be seen as a time waster and that mental health services are for people with "real problems." I also don't know what advice a professional could have for me because it's all well and good to say that I need to take time to rest/eat and to try and live healthily but I don't want that to disrupt my study flow or to decrease my grades.
This year I've been feeling way more motivated and have been studying for 8+ hours a day and as a result have been doing much better, I get decent essay grades and am prepared/able to speak in tutorials but in my general life I am probably doing worse.
Over the past few months my mental health basically took a nosedive. I started getting quite bad anxiety and panic attacks and irrational health worries. There was a period of about a month where I wouldn't get out of bed because I was convinced I was dying of cancer. I thought that had stopped and I would be fine when I went back to uni though but it has sort of manifested again these past few weeks but not as bad.
I also drink way more than a healthy amount and over the last few months the amount I drink has crept up from having maybe 2 glasses of wine or one vodka and tonic a day to having probably more like 5 or 6. I drink alone in my room and the other night I drank about 1/3 of a bottle of vodka basically without realising it.
I have stopped eating properly, initially it was skipping lunch so that I could study more but now its moved on to having a small bowl of cereal in the morning (about 200 calories) and something like one of those small one person frozen pizzas (about 400 calories) in the evening and I can see the weight loss already. It's not like an eating disorder thing though, I don't think I'm fat and I know I was a healthy weight to start with, its more like that I don't feel like I "deserve" to eat unless I have studied enough for the day and I like seeing the weight loss because to me it is the result of my dedication showing on my body.
I know the way I'm living isn't healthy and to an outsider looking in it would look like my mental health is obviously worse than this time last year but to me it doesn't feel like it is. I have more anxiety but I'm motivated and I'm doing well, I get out of bed feeling almost excited to study for the day and show how well I can do rather than last year when I had to drag myself out of bed everyday.
I don't really know why I posted this, I just wanted somewhere to vent and rant. I know the obvious replies will be that I should speak to someone about my mental health but I can't get past the feeling that I would be seen as a time waster and that mental health services are for people with "real problems." I also don't know what advice a professional could have for me because it's all well and good to say that I need to take time to rest/eat and to try and live healthily but I don't want that to disrupt my study flow or to decrease my grades.
Okay - I'm in abit of a rush so forgive me if I haven't gotten the full gist of things (I skim-read).
As somebody with an eating disorder, debilitating anxiety, paralysing depression, and a pending ADHD diagnosis (though none of this means that I am a professional or that I know exactly what you are going through by any means), it seems to me like you are setting yourself up for alcoholism and an eating disorder. I am sorry if that sounds harsh, but believe when I say, eating disorders are so easy to fall into and so tough to escape from. My eating disorder started at least 5 years ago, maybe longer. I was in denial the first two years and used justifications just like you have above. Eventually, it evolved into a raging, uncontrollable monster.
My relationships, studies, mental health, physical health, finances, and mood have been torn to shreds, and I'm still trying and failing at picking up the pieces. The biggest thing I discovered though, was that my ED is really a coping mechanism - something to hide behind - a way of coping with deeper issues (i.e the depression/anxiety/ADHD/stress etc.)
The part about cancer - I think (and I may be wrong) that you are suffering from either OCD, or some other type of condition that causes intrusive thoughts. I think you should see someone about this. That time it was cancer, but who knows what the next one will be? And who knows how it'll affect your life/actions?
The ED always helps initially, it helps to distract from other things. But eventually it will catch up to you, and you will be worse off than when you started. You said you are more anxious but studying better. Again - this is not sustainable in the long run - you will burn out and end up worse off.
Let me give an example - I was very much in the same position last year - unmotivated, isolating myself, not wanting to get out of bed etc. I started to take on ALOT - I'd be out from 8am until 11-12 at night. All day I'd be out, occupied, moving, doing things. For a while, it really helped. I was more excited, motivated, social. I was distracted from how I felt on the inside. I was always going, going, going, never taking a rest, never stopping. And it lasted a while - it was good. My mind felt clearer. But eventually, it all caught up to me. I burned out like I never have before. For 3 months, I isolated myself, alone in my bedroom, not speaking to anyone. not going out, doing nothing. I couldn't sit my end of year exams, because I was just (mentally) paralysed - literally my mind would just not work anymore. I was fried. I now have to repeat the year.
I'm sorry for any repetition or poor articulation, I'm in a rush. Obvs my situation is not your situation. But for me, I was so focused on education, grades, this priority, that priority, that my mental and physical health slipped more, my ED intensified, and in the process, I lost the things I was so focused on (education etc.). I'm still not better - I stress from the moment I wake up till the moment I sleep. I'm literally getting stomach pain and nausea from stress. I've stopped caring about anything and have lost interest in everything - friends, studies, sports, hobbies - everything. I'm not okay. And from reading what you've said, it seems like you aren't either. I have refused to prioritise my MH for so long, that now I'm forced to unless I want to lose ANOTHER year.
As somebody with an eating disorder, debilitating anxiety, paralysing depression, and a pending ADHD diagnosis (though none of this means that I am a professional or that I know exactly what you are going through by any means), it seems to me like you are setting yourself up for alcoholism and an eating disorder. I am sorry if that sounds harsh, but believe when I say, eating disorders are so easy to fall into and so tough to escape from. My eating disorder started at least 5 years ago, maybe longer. I was in denial the first two years and used justifications just like you have above. Eventually, it evolved into a raging, uncontrollable monster.
My relationships, studies, mental health, physical health, finances, and mood have been torn to shreds, and I'm still trying and failing at picking up the pieces. The biggest thing I discovered though, was that my ED is really a coping mechanism - something to hide behind - a way of coping with deeper issues (i.e the depression/anxiety/ADHD/stress etc.)
The part about cancer - I think (and I may be wrong) that you are suffering from either OCD, or some other type of condition that causes intrusive thoughts. I think you should see someone about this. That time it was cancer, but who knows what the next one will be? And who knows how it'll affect your life/actions?
The ED always helps initially, it helps to distract from other things. But eventually it will catch up to you, and you will be worse off than when you started. You said you are more anxious but studying better. Again - this is not sustainable in the long run - you will burn out and end up worse off.
Let me give an example - I was very much in the same position last year - unmotivated, isolating myself, not wanting to get out of bed etc. I started to take on ALOT - I'd be out from 8am until 11-12 at night. All day I'd be out, occupied, moving, doing things. For a while, it really helped. I was more excited, motivated, social. I was distracted from how I felt on the inside. I was always going, going, going, never taking a rest, never stopping. And it lasted a while - it was good. My mind felt clearer. But eventually, it all caught up to me. I burned out like I never have before. For 3 months, I isolated myself, alone in my bedroom, not speaking to anyone. not going out, doing nothing. I couldn't sit my end of year exams, because I was just (mentally) paralysed - literally my mind would just not work anymore. I was fried. I now have to repeat the year.
I'm sorry for any repetition or poor articulation, I'm in a rush. Obvs my situation is not your situation. But for me, I was so focused on education, grades, this priority, that priority, that my mental and physical health slipped more, my ED intensified, and in the process, I lost the things I was so focused on (education etc.). I'm still not better - I stress from the moment I wake up till the moment I sleep. I'm literally getting stomach pain and nausea from stress. I've stopped caring about anything and have lost interest in everything - friends, studies, sports, hobbies - everything. I'm not okay. And from reading what you've said, it seems like you aren't either. I have refused to prioritise my MH for so long, that now I'm forced to unless I want to lose ANOTHER year.
Original post by Anonymous
Okay - I'm in abit of a rush so forgive me if I haven't gotten the full gist of things (I skim-read).
As somebody with an eating disorder, debilitating anxiety, paralysing depression, and a pending ADHD diagnosis (though none of this means that I am a professional or that I know exactly what you are going through by any means), it seems to me like you are setting yourself up for alcoholism and an eating disorder. I am sorry if that sounds harsh, but believe when I say, eating disorders are so easy to fall into and so tough to escape from. My eating disorder started at least 5 years ago, maybe longer. I was in denial the first two years and used justifications just like you have above. Eventually, it evolved into a raging, uncontrollable monster.
My relationships, studies, mental health, physical health, finances, and mood have been torn to shreds, and I'm still trying and failing at picking up the pieces. The biggest thing I discovered though, was that my ED is really a coping mechanism - something to hide behind - a way of coping with deeper issues (i.e the depression/anxiety/ADHD/stress etc.)
The part about cancer - I think (and I may be wrong) that you are suffering from either OCD, or some other type of condition that causes intrusive thoughts. I think you should see someone about this. That time it was cancer, but who knows what the next one will be? And who knows how it'll affect your life/actions?
The ED always helps initially, it helps to distract from other things. But eventually it will catch up to you, and you will be worse off than when you started. You said you are more anxious but studying better. Again - this is not sustainable in the long run - you will burn out and end up worse off.
Let me give an example - I was very much in the same position last year - unmotivated, isolating myself, not wanting to get out of bed etc. I started to take on ALOT - I'd be out from 8am until 11-12 at night. All day I'd be out, occupied, moving, doing things. For a while, it really helped. I was more excited, motivated, social. I was distracted from how I felt on the inside. I was always going, going, going, never taking a rest, never stopping. And it lasted a while - it was good. My mind felt clearer. But eventually, it all caught up to me. I burned out like I never have before. For 3 months, I isolated myself, alone in my bedroom, not speaking to anyone. not going out, doing nothing. I couldn't sit my end of year exams, because I was just (mentally) paralysed - literally my mind would just not work anymore. I was fried. I now have to repeat the year.
I'm sorry for any repetition or poor articulation, I'm in a rush. Obvs my situation is not your situation. But for me, I was so focused on education, grades, this priority, that priority, that my mental and physical health slipped more, my ED intensified, and in the process, I lost the things I was so focused on (education etc.). I'm still not better - I stress from the moment I wake up till the moment I sleep. I'm literally getting stomach pain and nausea from stress. I've stopped caring about anything and have lost interest in everything - friends, studies, sports, hobbies - everything. I'm not okay. And from reading what you've said, it seems like you aren't either. I have refused to prioritise my MH for so long, that now I'm forced to unless I want to lose ANOTHER year.
As somebody with an eating disorder, debilitating anxiety, paralysing depression, and a pending ADHD diagnosis (though none of this means that I am a professional or that I know exactly what you are going through by any means), it seems to me like you are setting yourself up for alcoholism and an eating disorder. I am sorry if that sounds harsh, but believe when I say, eating disorders are so easy to fall into and so tough to escape from. My eating disorder started at least 5 years ago, maybe longer. I was in denial the first two years and used justifications just like you have above. Eventually, it evolved into a raging, uncontrollable monster.
My relationships, studies, mental health, physical health, finances, and mood have been torn to shreds, and I'm still trying and failing at picking up the pieces. The biggest thing I discovered though, was that my ED is really a coping mechanism - something to hide behind - a way of coping with deeper issues (i.e the depression/anxiety/ADHD/stress etc.)
The part about cancer - I think (and I may be wrong) that you are suffering from either OCD, or some other type of condition that causes intrusive thoughts. I think you should see someone about this. That time it was cancer, but who knows what the next one will be? And who knows how it'll affect your life/actions?
The ED always helps initially, it helps to distract from other things. But eventually it will catch up to you, and you will be worse off than when you started. You said you are more anxious but studying better. Again - this is not sustainable in the long run - you will burn out and end up worse off.
Let me give an example - I was very much in the same position last year - unmotivated, isolating myself, not wanting to get out of bed etc. I started to take on ALOT - I'd be out from 8am until 11-12 at night. All day I'd be out, occupied, moving, doing things. For a while, it really helped. I was more excited, motivated, social. I was distracted from how I felt on the inside. I was always going, going, going, never taking a rest, never stopping. And it lasted a while - it was good. My mind felt clearer. But eventually, it all caught up to me. I burned out like I never have before. For 3 months, I isolated myself, alone in my bedroom, not speaking to anyone. not going out, doing nothing. I couldn't sit my end of year exams, because I was just (mentally) paralysed - literally my mind would just not work anymore. I was fried. I now have to repeat the year.
I'm sorry for any repetition or poor articulation, I'm in a rush. Obvs my situation is not your situation. But for me, I was so focused on education, grades, this priority, that priority, that my mental and physical health slipped more, my ED intensified, and in the process, I lost the things I was so focused on (education etc.). I'm still not better - I stress from the moment I wake up till the moment I sleep. I'm literally getting stomach pain and nausea from stress. I've stopped caring about anything and have lost interest in everything - friends, studies, sports, hobbies - everything. I'm not okay. And from reading what you've said, it seems like you aren't either. I have refused to prioritise my MH for so long, that now I'm forced to unless I want to lose ANOTHER year.
I know that my mental health is probably quite bad but I'm not sure what useful advice a professional could really have more me or what prioritising my mental health would even look like for me because if I started taking time of my studies to live more healthily and take breaks it would reduce my productivity, lead me to get worse grades and then make my mental health worse because I would be more worried about the future and feel humiliated in my tutorials again. My uni only has 8 week terms so ideally my goal is to push myself forward this way until the end of term, rest over the holidays then pick my current lifestyle back up when I come back next term.
right now im in a weird situation kinda in limbo, i know i need to get help before i sit and fail my final exams but theres just too much going on right now to actually take a step back from my studies and maybe get some help. my head is telling me to tell everyone whats going on inside but my hearts like... yh but ur familys going to disown you, when in reality its not probably going to happen. even though i might not listen to my own advice, and it is an uneasy route, i 100% recommend talking to someone, just anyone, maybe consider calling your GP or telling someone at ur uni!
ive had friends in simialr situations, and it has gotten a lot better for them, ig im scared of taking that step, but no arguments, it is the right thing to do.
also as harsh as this may sound, "rest" wont help you, it just gives you more time to think about your thoughts and just give yourself more paranoia but maybe adding some regularity in your life, having someone to talk to about this can give you a lot more confidence to carry on with your studies, once you have a solution that you are working towards, things may start to get better!
you also dont need to drop everything and focus on your mental health! there are ways to do both! talking to your GP, you can figure this out! having a professional talk to you might help you see how you can have a balance with both! they wouldnt recommend it either! they know a structured life is good moving forward! they are supposed to help you cope with everyday things!
something realted, one of my friends was going through a really tough time, i was worried that she might hate me for telling someone, but my other friends encouraged me to talk to our horrid school counciller about it, a month later, that friend is okay
moral here is: no matter how discouraging/scary it seems to talk to someone abt ur problems it really could help you in the end
ive had friends in simialr situations, and it has gotten a lot better for them, ig im scared of taking that step, but no arguments, it is the right thing to do.
also as harsh as this may sound, "rest" wont help you, it just gives you more time to think about your thoughts and just give yourself more paranoia but maybe adding some regularity in your life, having someone to talk to about this can give you a lot more confidence to carry on with your studies, once you have a solution that you are working towards, things may start to get better!
you also dont need to drop everything and focus on your mental health! there are ways to do both! talking to your GP, you can figure this out! having a professional talk to you might help you see how you can have a balance with both! they wouldnt recommend it either! they know a structured life is good moving forward! they are supposed to help you cope with everyday things!
something realted, one of my friends was going through a really tough time, i was worried that she might hate me for telling someone, but my other friends encouraged me to talk to our horrid school counciller about it, a month later, that friend is okay
moral here is: no matter how discouraging/scary it seems to talk to someone abt ur problems it really could help you in the endOriginal post by Anonymous
right now im in a weird situation kinda in limbo, i know i need to get help before i sit and fail my final exams but theres just too much going on right now to actually take a step back from my studies and maybe get some help. my head is telling me to tell everyone whats going on inside but my hearts like... yh but ur familys going to disown you, when in reality its not probably going to happen. even though i might not listen to my own advice, and it is an uneasy route, i 100% recommend talking to someone, just anyone, maybe consider calling your GP or telling someone at ur uni!
ive had friends in simialr situations, and it has gotten a lot better for them, ig im scared of taking that step, but no arguments, it is the right thing to do.
also as harsh as this may sound, "rest" wont help you, it just gives you more time to think about your thoughts and just give yourself more paranoia but maybe adding some regularity in your life, having someone to talk to about this can give you a lot more confidence to carry on with your studies, once you have a solution that you are working towards, things may start to get better!
you also dont need to drop everything and focus on your mental health! there are ways to do both! talking to your GP, you can figure this out! having a professional talk to you might help you see how you can have a balance with both! they wouldnt recommend it either! they know a structured life is good moving forward! they are supposed to help you cope with everyday things!
something realted, one of my friends was going through a really tough time, i was worried that she might hate me for telling someone, but my other friends encouraged me to talk to our horrid school counciller about it, a month later, that friend is okay moral here is: no matter how discouraging/scary it seems to talk to someone abt ur problems it really could help you in the end
ive had friends in simialr situations, and it has gotten a lot better for them, ig im scared of taking that step, but no arguments, it is the right thing to do.
also as harsh as this may sound, "rest" wont help you, it just gives you more time to think about your thoughts and just give yourself more paranoia but maybe adding some regularity in your life, having someone to talk to about this can give you a lot more confidence to carry on with your studies, once you have a solution that you are working towards, things may start to get better!
you also dont need to drop everything and focus on your mental health! there are ways to do both! talking to your GP, you can figure this out! having a professional talk to you might help you see how you can have a balance with both! they wouldnt recommend it either! they know a structured life is good moving forward! they are supposed to help you cope with everyday things!
something realted, one of my friends was going through a really tough time, i was worried that she might hate me for telling someone, but my other friends encouraged me to talk to our horrid school counciller about it, a month later, that friend is okay
moral here is: no matter how discouraging/scary it seems to talk to someone abt ur problems it really could help you in the endBy rest I was including both sleeping/time off from studies rest and a rest from my current lifestyle such as eating healthily and cutting my drinking down and doing all the things I think a professional would advise me to do so I'm not really sure how talking to someone would help as it will all just be advice I can find online. I'm also reluctant to talk to a professional because I'm quite a quiet person and don't like to open myself up for judgements/comments on my life in that way and I don't think I would even know what to say.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a second year uni student and last year I really struggled with uni in general, I haven't made any friends here and I was feeling really demotivated so was only studying a couple hours a day and as a result was getting pretty low grades.
This year I've been feeling way more motivated and have been studying for 8+ hours a day and as a result have been doing much better, I get decent essay grades and am prepared/able to speak in tutorials but in my general life I am probably doing worse.
Over the past few months my mental health basically took a nosedive. I started getting quite bad anxiety and panic attacks and irrational health worries. There was a period of about a month where I wouldn't get out of bed because I was convinced I was dying of cancer. I thought that had stopped and I would be fine when I went back to uni though but it has sort of manifested again these past few weeks but not as bad.
I also drink way more than a healthy amount and over the last few months the amount I drink has crept up from having maybe 2 glasses of wine or one vodka and tonic a day to having probably more like 5 or 6. I drink alone in my room and the other night I drank about 1/3 of a bottle of vodka basically without realising it.
I have stopped eating properly, initially it was skipping lunch so that I could study more but now its moved on to having a small bowl of cereal in the morning (about 200 calories) and something like one of those small one person frozen pizzas (about 400 calories) in the evening and I can see the weight loss already. It's not like an eating disorder thing though, I don't think I'm fat and I know I was a healthy weight to start with, its more like that I don't feel like I "deserve" to eat unless I have studied enough for the day and I like seeing the weight loss because to me it is the result of my dedication showing on my body.
I know the way I'm living isn't healthy and to an outsider looking in it would look like my mental health is obviously worse than this time last year but to me it doesn't feel like it is. I have more anxiety but I'm motivated and I'm doing well, I get out of bed feeling almost excited to study for the day and show how well I can do rather than last year when I had to drag myself out of bed everyday.
I don't really know why I posted this, I just wanted somewhere to vent and rant. I know the obvious replies will be that I should speak to someone about my mental health but I can't get past the feeling that I would be seen as a time waster and that mental health services are for people with "real problems." I also don't know what advice a professional could have for me because it's all well and good to say that I need to take time to rest/eat and to try and live healthily but I don't want that to disrupt my study flow or to decrease my grades.
This year I've been feeling way more motivated and have been studying for 8+ hours a day and as a result have been doing much better, I get decent essay grades and am prepared/able to speak in tutorials but in my general life I am probably doing worse.
Over the past few months my mental health basically took a nosedive. I started getting quite bad anxiety and panic attacks and irrational health worries. There was a period of about a month where I wouldn't get out of bed because I was convinced I was dying of cancer. I thought that had stopped and I would be fine when I went back to uni though but it has sort of manifested again these past few weeks but not as bad.
I also drink way more than a healthy amount and over the last few months the amount I drink has crept up from having maybe 2 glasses of wine or one vodka and tonic a day to having probably more like 5 or 6. I drink alone in my room and the other night I drank about 1/3 of a bottle of vodka basically without realising it.
I have stopped eating properly, initially it was skipping lunch so that I could study more but now its moved on to having a small bowl of cereal in the morning (about 200 calories) and something like one of those small one person frozen pizzas (about 400 calories) in the evening and I can see the weight loss already. It's not like an eating disorder thing though, I don't think I'm fat and I know I was a healthy weight to start with, its more like that I don't feel like I "deserve" to eat unless I have studied enough for the day and I like seeing the weight loss because to me it is the result of my dedication showing on my body.
I know the way I'm living isn't healthy and to an outsider looking in it would look like my mental health is obviously worse than this time last year but to me it doesn't feel like it is. I have more anxiety but I'm motivated and I'm doing well, I get out of bed feeling almost excited to study for the day and show how well I can do rather than last year when I had to drag myself out of bed everyday.
I don't really know why I posted this, I just wanted somewhere to vent and rant. I know the obvious replies will be that I should speak to someone about my mental health but I can't get past the feeling that I would be seen as a time waster and that mental health services are for people with "real problems." I also don't know what advice a professional could have for me because it's all well and good to say that I need to take time to rest/eat and to try and live healthily but I don't want that to disrupt my study flow or to decrease my grades.
I appreciate you sharing your struggles, and it's essential to have a space to express your feelings. What you're experiencing is real, and your mental health matters, regardless of how it might appear to others. Remember that seeking help isn't a sign of being a "time waster." It's a courageous step toward improving your overall well-being.
A mental health professional can provide support tailored to your specific situation. They can help you find a balance between maintaining your motivation for study and taking care of your mental and physical health. There are strategies to manage anxiety, stress, and the pressures of university life without compromising your grades. You deserve to live a healthy, balanced life, and it's entirely possible to do so while achieving your academic goals. Please consider reaching out to a counselor or therapist who can guide you on this journey. You're not alone, and there are people who want to help you thrive both academically and personally. 💪🌟
Original post by Anonymous
By rest I was including both sleeping/time off from studies rest and a rest from my current lifestyle such as eating healthily and cutting my drinking down and doing all the things I think a professional would advise me to do so I'm not really sure how talking to someone would help as it will all just be advice I can find online. I'm also reluctant to talk to a professional because I'm quite a quiet person and don't like to open myself up for judgements/comments on my life in that way and I don't think I would even know what to say.
i can hear how reluctant you are to talk to someone about this all, but you’ve managed to take the first step into asking for advice here! you took the risk of being open to judgement and anyway the professionals and called professionals for a reason 😉 they aren’t going to make you feel worse they are supposed to help and guide you they won’t give you a rule book to follow they’ll find a compromise between what you are able to do and what you could do! they want to work through your problems with you, and with internet advice… i thought i could do that too but then everywhere i looked said that i needed “i mixture of drug and talking therapy” and frankly that’s not going to happen until i reach out to someone! some solutions don’t just happen online, sometimes you need a physical support system there, and eventually you will need it! i’ve had my fair share of (different) experiences with addictive coping mechanisms it’s hard to get back from, and im still struggling, your okay for a few weeks but then you go back to it, it doesn’t actually stop bc even when ur better the thoughts come back and you might try to suppress it but you still think about it, having a support system helps when having someone to talk openly about your problems, and a good support system won’t judge you they will appreciate that you’ve come to get help and work with you to move forward in a healthier way!
loads of different type of people go through bad times even quiet people! just because u are a quiet person doesn’t mean they wont be able to give you the help you need! again they are professionals after all! they’ll work with you get over this so you feel more comfortable!
