Advice.
Greetings to all that read this.
I have been bottling this up for a while and I can't keep it up anymore - this is regarding my social life since I was of adolescence, and I would love some advice regarding such.
I will try and keep it brief so that you guys won't get tired of reading it.
Ever since I was born, I never really have integrated well socially with others. Academically, I excelled, but socially I have not really had the best. My parents told me that I fluctuated in and out of nursery and never really had any stability or longevity. Apparently when I went through reception, I played with myself due to others not wanting to affiliate with me for some reason.
When I was in primary school, I was comprehensively isolated, and every attempt to play with anyone was shut down and spat in my face figuratively. I was always sat on the bench alone, and I would always talk to myself which continued all throughout secondary school where I was manipulated into a toxic friendship group due to my vulnerability of never making any friends. I remember a time where I actually thought I deserved being called names and having water chucked at me because I never deserved real friendship.
I have never had an actual time where I have felt relaxed or comfortable in a friendship or being belittled.
Throughout college, things went well in terms of trying to make friends - but these friends were also making fun of me which lead to my natural prophylaxis of self-isolation throughout college. I felt ashamed, and even depressed in some stages and hated any type of social events as I was often left alone or left to envy others enjoying themselves.
Now throughout university, I have yet again struggled to integrate well as the friends I have made are class friends and not actual friends. I envy seeing people going out and enjoying themselves, yet I can't even get invited to any events, or even have anyone to talk to.
I am quite the extrovert who loves to engage in conversation, and I have tried throughout my adolescence to try and make friends - but I keep getting turned down, ridiculed, bullied and shamed.
I am starting to give up on any form of socialisation as I feel throughout the time I have tried to make friends, that I am not worth anything to this world. Literally no one wants to be friends with me.
I plead for any of you to give me advice as I am at my breaking point.
I have been bottling this up for a while and I can't keep it up anymore - this is regarding my social life since I was of adolescence, and I would love some advice regarding such.
I will try and keep it brief so that you guys won't get tired of reading it.
Ever since I was born, I never really have integrated well socially with others. Academically, I excelled, but socially I have not really had the best. My parents told me that I fluctuated in and out of nursery and never really had any stability or longevity. Apparently when I went through reception, I played with myself due to others not wanting to affiliate with me for some reason.
When I was in primary school, I was comprehensively isolated, and every attempt to play with anyone was shut down and spat in my face figuratively. I was always sat on the bench alone, and I would always talk to myself which continued all throughout secondary school where I was manipulated into a toxic friendship group due to my vulnerability of never making any friends. I remember a time where I actually thought I deserved being called names and having water chucked at me because I never deserved real friendship.
I have never had an actual time where I have felt relaxed or comfortable in a friendship or being belittled.
Throughout college, things went well in terms of trying to make friends - but these friends were also making fun of me which lead to my natural prophylaxis of self-isolation throughout college. I felt ashamed, and even depressed in some stages and hated any type of social events as I was often left alone or left to envy others enjoying themselves.
Now throughout university, I have yet again struggled to integrate well as the friends I have made are class friends and not actual friends. I envy seeing people going out and enjoying themselves, yet I can't even get invited to any events, or even have anyone to talk to.
I am quite the extrovert who loves to engage in conversation, and I have tried throughout my adolescence to try and make friends - but I keep getting turned down, ridiculed, bullied and shamed.
I am starting to give up on any form of socialisation as I feel throughout the time I have tried to make friends, that I am not worth anything to this world. Literally no one wants to be friends with me.
I plead for any of you to give me advice as I am at my breaking point.
I'm sure you'll have heard this before but, if you haven't already, try joining some societies maybe, or even see if there are local book clubs that you might like to attend. Perhaps you could have a chat with some flatmates, even if you just go out for coffee or have a meal together, you could even try and get together with some of your course mates for a study session. You could also try and get a job or volunteer somewhere, obviously this may not be possible depending on how busy you are with uni.
To be honest, it sounds like you could really benefit from speaking to a professional, your uni will have people who are well experienced in this area as many students do feel lonely / socially isolated. I also just want you to know that, even though it may seem as though your not worth anything, that is 100% untrue, perhaps try and look to the future to set a goal you want to acheive, even if that is something relatively small. In regards to you believing that no one wants to be friends with you, you've already mentioned that you have class friends and even if they're not what you would consider actual friends, they still prove that people enjoy talking to you, and find you likable.
As I mentioned earlier, I really do advise talking to a professional and I truly hope it all works out for you
To be honest, it sounds like you could really benefit from speaking to a professional, your uni will have people who are well experienced in this area as many students do feel lonely / socially isolated. I also just want you to know that, even though it may seem as though your not worth anything, that is 100% untrue, perhaps try and look to the future to set a goal you want to acheive, even if that is something relatively small. In regards to you believing that no one wants to be friends with you, you've already mentioned that you have class friends and even if they're not what you would consider actual friends, they still prove that people enjoy talking to you, and find you likable.
As I mentioned earlier, I really do advise talking to a professional and I truly hope it all works out for you
Original post by yogo1o
I'm sure you'll have heard this before but, if you haven't already, try joining some societies maybe, or even see if there are local book clubs that you might like to attend. Perhaps you could have a chat with some flatmates, even if you just go out for coffee or have a meal together, you could even try and get together with some of your course mates for a study session. You could also try and get a job or volunteer somewhere, obviously this may not be possible depending on how busy you are with uni.
To be honest, it sounds like you could really benefit from speaking to a professional, your uni will have people who are well experienced in this area as many students do feel lonely / socially isolated. I also just want you to know that, even though it may seem as though your not worth anything, that is 100% untrue, perhaps try and look to the future to set a goal you want to acheive, even if that is something relatively small. In regards to you believing that no one wants to be friends with you, you've already mentioned that you have class friends and even if they're not what you would consider actual friends, they still prove that people enjoy talking to you, and find you likable.
As I mentioned earlier, I really do advise talking to a professional and I truly hope it all works out for you
To be honest, it sounds like you could really benefit from speaking to a professional, your uni will have people who are well experienced in this area as many students do feel lonely / socially isolated. I also just want you to know that, even though it may seem as though your not worth anything, that is 100% untrue, perhaps try and look to the future to set a goal you want to acheive, even if that is something relatively small. In regards to you believing that no one wants to be friends with you, you've already mentioned that you have class friends and even if they're not what you would consider actual friends, they still prove that people enjoy talking to you, and find you likable.
As I mentioned earlier, I really do advise talking to a professional and I truly hope it all works out for you
I don't know if I am being idiosyncratic, but I don't like the concept of professionals. It makes me seem like I am the problem. However if nothing improves, I shall try, although I wouldn't expect any different advice for which you have provided me.
I have joined 2 societies, one of which is related to my course, the other non-related. No one ever talks on the group chat, nor attends the events and on the rare occasion one does, no one seems interested to engage in conversation.
The friends I have from class don't live in my area at all (all a few hours away from uni) and we never really talk about anything else apart from the content of my course, which is a benefit of course that I can talk to people if I am stuck on content.
I don't know man - I have tried literally everything to engage in some meaningful friendship. I have never had a friend I have felt comfortable talking to or a friend that has similar interests with me ever since I was young. From my perspective, it just seems that everyone around me has these type of relationships. I am not introverted what so ever, and if anything - I enjoy engaging in conversation - but nothing ever lands for me.
From my perspective, I don't have any worth at all or anything going for me apart from my academia. I am alone nearly everyday whilst I watch in envy others enjoying themselves. I am not really finding anything enjoyable anymore.
Seeking help from a professional absolutely does not mean that you're the problem but it may be help you in terms of not just practical advice but also in terms of the mental side as well - you seem to be very good at articulating your feelings so it might be something that really helps
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