Would like advice
Hello, I am 18 years old and I feel as though I've gotten nowhere with my life and I really struggle with so many different things to the point I feel utterly useless and incapable of many things..
I finished school with decent grades passing all but maths (grade 3) the others ranged from 4-6, I left school and went into college doing health and social care level 3. Unfortunately during this time I was having an extremely hard time outside of college eg living on my own at 16 with an awful relationship with my family and I was experiencing a toxic and abusive relationship. I took up smoking marijuana when I was taking my GCSE, I find it very hard to stop as it calms my racing thoughts. Anyway, back to college, my attendance was around 45% as I was hardly ever leaving where I lived and ended up being expelled for having marijuana on my person while in college. This was completely my own fault, however this sent me into a spiral. I got fired from my catering job for having 8 days off in 6 months. After this I had no form of education or work in place for around 6 months and the smoking only increased and me and my boyfriend at the time were so on and off and my mental health was in the gutter,
Content warning: Mention of previous self harm
I would have manic episodes where the support acom staff of where i lived had to kick down my door and phone police/ambulance.
After the six months my parents and I decided it was best if I moved back into the family home as I was suffering so intensly with my mental health. Our relationship has since improved greatly and my mental health has gotten slightly better however it's still pretty bad. I now have an apprenticeship in childcare as it's something I'm passionate about.
I love working with the children however I just constantly feel like I'm not good enough at what I do despite being told otherwise, my biggest concern is my apprenticeship is going terribly, I struggled to do voice recorded assignments as my anxiety is crazy, I would just begin balling my eyes out and saying my sentences backwards and I just couldn't do it. My assessor then changed my assignment style to written yet over the past year or two I've been struggling to process any information, I could read something over and over and my brain won't process it - if it does, I forget within hours. I can't recite what i've written even though it's all information I've researched and written. I struggle to read without the words flying all over the show. I got a grade 6 in english language and a 5 in english literature, I don't remember ever being this bad at reading, writing, remembering and processing information. It's become a real hurdle in everything I do. I can't get my assignments done, I am so far behind and everytime I try to do some work I just cry and get stressed out.
My memory and everything else i've mentioned not only affects my work and apprenticeship but my everyday life, for example I couldnt recite yesterday to somebody if they asked. I'd have to really think about it and then i'd still miss out big parts of what happened in the day.
I really want to be successful and I have such big goals for myself but these things are really getting in the way and I feel like I'll never complete this apprenticeship. All my friends are 18+ and have their level 2 from college and working on level 3 and attending uni next year. I feel useless and so behind.
I finished school with decent grades passing all but maths (grade 3) the others ranged from 4-6, I left school and went into college doing health and social care level 3. Unfortunately during this time I was having an extremely hard time outside of college eg living on my own at 16 with an awful relationship with my family and I was experiencing a toxic and abusive relationship. I took up smoking marijuana when I was taking my GCSE, I find it very hard to stop as it calms my racing thoughts. Anyway, back to college, my attendance was around 45% as I was hardly ever leaving where I lived and ended up being expelled for having marijuana on my person while in college. This was completely my own fault, however this sent me into a spiral. I got fired from my catering job for having 8 days off in 6 months. After this I had no form of education or work in place for around 6 months and the smoking only increased and me and my boyfriend at the time were so on and off and my mental health was in the gutter,
Content warning: Mention of previous self harm
Spoiler
I would have manic episodes where the support acom staff of where i lived had to kick down my door and phone police/ambulance.
After the six months my parents and I decided it was best if I moved back into the family home as I was suffering so intensly with my mental health. Our relationship has since improved greatly and my mental health has gotten slightly better however it's still pretty bad. I now have an apprenticeship in childcare as it's something I'm passionate about.
I love working with the children however I just constantly feel like I'm not good enough at what I do despite being told otherwise, my biggest concern is my apprenticeship is going terribly, I struggled to do voice recorded assignments as my anxiety is crazy, I would just begin balling my eyes out and saying my sentences backwards and I just couldn't do it. My assessor then changed my assignment style to written yet over the past year or two I've been struggling to process any information, I could read something over and over and my brain won't process it - if it does, I forget within hours. I can't recite what i've written even though it's all information I've researched and written. I struggle to read without the words flying all over the show. I got a grade 6 in english language and a 5 in english literature, I don't remember ever being this bad at reading, writing, remembering and processing information. It's become a real hurdle in everything I do. I can't get my assignments done, I am so far behind and everytime I try to do some work I just cry and get stressed out.
My memory and everything else i've mentioned not only affects my work and apprenticeship but my everyday life, for example I couldnt recite yesterday to somebody if they asked. I'd have to really think about it and then i'd still miss out big parts of what happened in the day.
I really want to be successful and I have such big goals for myself but these things are really getting in the way and I feel like I'll never complete this apprenticeship. All my friends are 18+ and have their level 2 from college and working on level 3 and attending uni next year. I feel useless and so behind.
Original post by 222blabLibra
Hello, I am 18 years old and I feel as though I've gotten nowhere with my life and I really struggle with so many different things to the point I feel utterly useless and incapable of many things..
I finished school with decent grades passing all but maths (grade 3) the others ranged from 4-6, I left school and went into college doing health and social care level 3. Unfortunately during this time I was having an extremely hard time outside of college eg living on my own at 16 with an awful relationship with my family and I was experiencing a toxic and abusive relationship. I took up smoking marijuana when I was taking my GCSE, I find it very hard to stop as it calms my racing thoughts. Anyway, back to college, my attendance was around 45% as I was hardly ever leaving where I lived and ended up being expelled for having marijuana on my person while in college. This was completely my own fault, however this sent me into a spiral. I got fired from my catering job for having 8 days off in 6 months. After this I had no form of education or work in place for around 6 months and the smoking only increased and me and my boyfriend at the time were so on and off and my mental health was in the gutter,
Content warning: Mention of previous self harm
I would have manic episodes where the support acom staff of where i lived had to kick down my door and phone police/ambulance.
After the six months my parents and I decided it was best if I moved back into the family home as I was suffering so intensly with my mental health. Our relationship has since improved greatly and my mental health has gotten slightly better however it's still pretty bad. I now have an apprenticeship in childcare as it's something I'm passionate about.
I love working with the children however I just constantly feel like I'm not good enough at what I do despite being told otherwise, my biggest concern is my apprenticeship is going terribly, I struggled to do voice recorded assignments as my anxiety is crazy, I would just begin balling my eyes out and saying my sentences backwards and I just couldn't do it. My assessor then changed my assignment style to written yet over the past year or two I've been struggling to process any information, I could read something over and over and my brain won't process it - if it does, I forget within hours. I can't recite what i've written even though it's all information I've researched and written. I struggle to read without the words flying all over the show. I got a grade 6 in english language and a 5 in english literature, I don't remember ever being this bad at reading, writing, remembering and processing information. It's become a real hurdle in everything I do. I can't get my assignments done, I am so far behind and everytime I try to do some work I just cry and get stressed out.
My memory and everything else i've mentioned not only affects my work and apprenticeship but my everyday life, for example I couldnt recite yesterday to somebody if they asked. I'd have to really think about it and then i'd still miss out big parts of what happened in the day.
I really want to be successful and I have such big goals for myself but these things are really getting in the way and I feel like I'll never complete this apprenticeship. All my friends are 18+ and have their level 2 from college and working on level 3 and attending uni next year. I feel useless and so behind.
I finished school with decent grades passing all but maths (grade 3) the others ranged from 4-6, I left school and went into college doing health and social care level 3. Unfortunately during this time I was having an extremely hard time outside of college eg living on my own at 16 with an awful relationship with my family and I was experiencing a toxic and abusive relationship. I took up smoking marijuana when I was taking my GCSE, I find it very hard to stop as it calms my racing thoughts. Anyway, back to college, my attendance was around 45% as I was hardly ever leaving where I lived and ended up being expelled for having marijuana on my person while in college. This was completely my own fault, however this sent me into a spiral. I got fired from my catering job for having 8 days off in 6 months. After this I had no form of education or work in place for around 6 months and the smoking only increased and me and my boyfriend at the time were so on and off and my mental health was in the gutter,
Content warning: Mention of previous self harm
Spoiler
I would have manic episodes where the support acom staff of where i lived had to kick down my door and phone police/ambulance.
After the six months my parents and I decided it was best if I moved back into the family home as I was suffering so intensly with my mental health. Our relationship has since improved greatly and my mental health has gotten slightly better however it's still pretty bad. I now have an apprenticeship in childcare as it's something I'm passionate about.
I love working with the children however I just constantly feel like I'm not good enough at what I do despite being told otherwise, my biggest concern is my apprenticeship is going terribly, I struggled to do voice recorded assignments as my anxiety is crazy, I would just begin balling my eyes out and saying my sentences backwards and I just couldn't do it. My assessor then changed my assignment style to written yet over the past year or two I've been struggling to process any information, I could read something over and over and my brain won't process it - if it does, I forget within hours. I can't recite what i've written even though it's all information I've researched and written. I struggle to read without the words flying all over the show. I got a grade 6 in english language and a 5 in english literature, I don't remember ever being this bad at reading, writing, remembering and processing information. It's become a real hurdle in everything I do. I can't get my assignments done, I am so far behind and everytime I try to do some work I just cry and get stressed out.
My memory and everything else i've mentioned not only affects my work and apprenticeship but my everyday life, for example I couldnt recite yesterday to somebody if they asked. I'd have to really think about it and then i'd still miss out big parts of what happened in the day.
I really want to be successful and I have such big goals for myself but these things are really getting in the way and I feel like I'll never complete this apprenticeship. All my friends are 18+ and have their level 2 from college and working on level 3 and attending uni next year. I feel useless and so behind.
Hi there,
Sorry you are going through this.
Mind have some great resources on their website and you can also contact them here
The NHS have urgent mental health helplines are for people of all ages in England. To find a helpline suitable for you, please visit here. https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/mental-health/find-an-urgent-mental-health-helpline
You can call for:
-24-hour advice and support for you, your child, your parent or someone you care for
-help speaking to a mental health professional
-an assessment to find the right care for you
The Samaritans are available 24/7 and can be contacted by calling 116 123 or emailing [email protected]. There are also apps that can help, like Smiling Minds and Headspace.
If you are in crisis and at risk of hurting yourself, or have already, please call 999 for an ambulance or go to your nearest A&E. If you’re reluctant to go to A&E, you can always call NHS 111 for their advice and guidance.
Take care and please look after yourself.
Best wishes,
TSR Support
