Sad because missed out on living with friends in final year of uni.
Hi all. I wanted to share something that has been on my mind all year this year. I'm in my 3rd and final year of uni.
Last year I lived in a twin flat with someone who I thought was my best friend, but turned out to be a narcissistic idiot. Living with him was a nightmare, and he majorly messed up my mental health.
Near the end of last year, one of my actual friends contacted me to ask if I'd like to move in with him and a couple of his friends for this year. I declined because I wanted to be alone. This was also motivated by a drug addiction, so I wanted to have my own space to experiment. I quickly forgot about this conversation and I was dead set on living alone.
This academic year rolls around, I'm no longer interested in doing drugs (thank God). Now I live alone in a studio flat at the same accomodation where I was last year, while my friend lives with 2 of his good mates, who I got to know and I also really like. I visit them often, at least once a week, and I also sleep over at their place frequently. We really enjoy each others company and have great conversations. They're all very intelligent and respectable people.
For all of this year, I haven't been able to shake a feeling of regret and loneliness for the stupid choice I made almost a year ago. I feel like I missed out on so many great interactions and conversations we may have had together. I wish I was living with them. I've shared these feelings with them, and they feel the same. I know I'm always welcome at their place, but I'm always only a guest, and sooner or later I need to go home and I end up alone. It's an awful feeling, it often weighs on my mind and I can't really do anything about it. I've talked to my therapist and parents about it too, but the feelings still remain.
So yeah. I don't really know what to do about it. I've got hobbies and friends, but I can't shake my feelings of loneliness. Sometimes it gets better, sometimes it gets worse, sometimes I forget about it, but it always comes back. Has anyone been in a similar situation?
Last year I lived in a twin flat with someone who I thought was my best friend, but turned out to be a narcissistic idiot. Living with him was a nightmare, and he majorly messed up my mental health.
Near the end of last year, one of my actual friends contacted me to ask if I'd like to move in with him and a couple of his friends for this year. I declined because I wanted to be alone. This was also motivated by a drug addiction, so I wanted to have my own space to experiment. I quickly forgot about this conversation and I was dead set on living alone.
This academic year rolls around, I'm no longer interested in doing drugs (thank God). Now I live alone in a studio flat at the same accomodation where I was last year, while my friend lives with 2 of his good mates, who I got to know and I also really like. I visit them often, at least once a week, and I also sleep over at their place frequently. We really enjoy each others company and have great conversations. They're all very intelligent and respectable people.
For all of this year, I haven't been able to shake a feeling of regret and loneliness for the stupid choice I made almost a year ago. I feel like I missed out on so many great interactions and conversations we may have had together. I wish I was living with them. I've shared these feelings with them, and they feel the same. I know I'm always welcome at their place, but I'm always only a guest, and sooner or later I need to go home and I end up alone. It's an awful feeling, it often weighs on my mind and I can't really do anything about it. I've talked to my therapist and parents about it too, but the feelings still remain.
So yeah. I don't really know what to do about it. I've got hobbies and friends, but I can't shake my feelings of loneliness. Sometimes it gets better, sometimes it gets worse, sometimes I forget about it, but it always comes back. Has anyone been in a similar situation?
