Not feeling too festive this Xmas
It's weird.
Usually I get the feeling of excitement around Christmas, and I listen to Xmas songs in parties, in stores etc and get that warm feeling.
We've even bought a tree (real, as always) and we're decorating it tomorrow. We've invited friends and family for the 25th and we're discussing the food and drinks.
But despite all of this I just feel really flat. Not sad or depressed, for some reason it just seems the Xmas spirit isn't really catching on this year.
I don't know whether it's the stress of exams as soon as university restarts, or the fact that we haven't as a family done many Xmassy things yet (the tree hasn't been decorated yet, we haven't gone shopping or prepared any Xmas food yet!)
Maybe it's because this year, because of health reasons, my grandma is spending Xmas in a care home in India rather than with us here in the UK.
She's been with us for the last three Xmases, she wanted to be here, we wanted her here, but she's just not healthy enough to travel.
Everything around me seems festive and bright and cheery but for some reason I just feel a bit too normal. When I watch the Xmas song music videos this year it doesn't give me the same feeling, which is very weird because it's never been like that before, even in the years I felt really depressed.
In the last few weeks of uni I've been so busy with assignments and assessments. Even on the day they had Xmas food in one of the cafeterias I took it out in a takeaway box and ate it on my own quickly while studying for an assessment that was due to start an hour later.
The funny thing is, I have seen the lights on Oxford Street. I have seen the trees in the uni buildings. I have gone to the departmental Xmas dinner event.
Hopefully it will catch on when we light up the tree and start the shopping and preparation, but even then I won't be able to take part in much of it due to revision.
But Xmas only comes once a year. I look forward to it every year.
I grew up in a Christian primary school (despite not being Christian!) and there was always a big deal made of Christmas, so that definitely is a reason why. Every boy wanted to be Joseph in the nativity, there was a mad rush to the cafeteria on Xmas dinner day, we would play Xmas songs in class in the last few weeks of term and watch a film on the last day.
Living in London it also means I can't remember the last time there's been snow on Xmas.
Now Xmas Day is in less than a week and for some reason my always-busy life doesn't feel like it's changed.
Is something wrong?!
Usually I get the feeling of excitement around Christmas, and I listen to Xmas songs in parties, in stores etc and get that warm feeling.
We've even bought a tree (real, as always) and we're decorating it tomorrow. We've invited friends and family for the 25th and we're discussing the food and drinks.
But despite all of this I just feel really flat. Not sad or depressed, for some reason it just seems the Xmas spirit isn't really catching on this year.
I don't know whether it's the stress of exams as soon as university restarts, or the fact that we haven't as a family done many Xmassy things yet (the tree hasn't been decorated yet, we haven't gone shopping or prepared any Xmas food yet!)
Maybe it's because this year, because of health reasons, my grandma is spending Xmas in a care home in India rather than with us here in the UK.
She's been with us for the last three Xmases, she wanted to be here, we wanted her here, but she's just not healthy enough to travel.
Everything around me seems festive and bright and cheery but for some reason I just feel a bit too normal. When I watch the Xmas song music videos this year it doesn't give me the same feeling, which is very weird because it's never been like that before, even in the years I felt really depressed.
In the last few weeks of uni I've been so busy with assignments and assessments. Even on the day they had Xmas food in one of the cafeterias I took it out in a takeaway box and ate it on my own quickly while studying for an assessment that was due to start an hour later.
The funny thing is, I have seen the lights on Oxford Street. I have seen the trees in the uni buildings. I have gone to the departmental Xmas dinner event.
Hopefully it will catch on when we light up the tree and start the shopping and preparation, but even then I won't be able to take part in much of it due to revision.
But Xmas only comes once a year. I look forward to it every year.
I grew up in a Christian primary school (despite not being Christian!) and there was always a big deal made of Christmas, so that definitely is a reason why. Every boy wanted to be Joseph in the nativity, there was a mad rush to the cafeteria on Xmas dinner day, we would play Xmas songs in class in the last few weeks of term and watch a film on the last day.
Living in London it also means I can't remember the last time there's been snow on Xmas.
Now Xmas Day is in less than a week and for some reason my always-busy life doesn't feel like it's changed.
Is something wrong?!
