Possible undiagnosed autism
Hi,
For a long time I have always questioned whether I am on the spectrum & I have recently considered actually going to my GP to discuss this.
The reason I have always put it off is because I get by in life & I manage myself/life fairly well. But there’s a lot of things that I do/struggle with that I have never been able to put my finger on & maybe knowing whether or not I am could give me closure.
I do struggle regulating my emotions, I take things very personally sometimes to the point it can upset me for days & can’t stop thinking about it. These are usually things a lot of people would just let go over their head.
I have my own house & whenever someone knocks uninvited it can even be my mum or dad it triggers me. I don’t act out but I genuinely feel annoyed/irritable at the fact they have come round and it’s something I haven’t been able to mentally prepare for. I know how ridiculous it sounds, believe me.
I am very rigid with routine & if I have something planned in my head (going the gym) etc. & it’s disrupted I get the same irrational feelings. I was driving to work the other day & was late & missed a turn in so reacted by screaming & punching my steering wheel multiple times; I have done this type of behaviour for years. I know it’s childish but it’s like my emotions take over me. When I’m stressed (which doesn’t take much) I feel like I get a little bit dissociated. I also talk to myself when I’m alone all the time; I’ve done this since I was very young.
I definitely think I have a form of OCD as I can’t relax unless I clean my house the exact same specific way & in the same order.
The reason I question whether it may or may not be autism is I don’t struggle with small talk, I have a vivid imagination, I don’t feel uncomfortable with eye contact, I can go out in public anywhere & not particularly feel super uncomfortable (no more awkward than the average person in a new social situation) I go the gym, I have friends & a partner & work full time.
For a long time I have always questioned whether I am on the spectrum & I have recently considered actually going to my GP to discuss this.
The reason I have always put it off is because I get by in life & I manage myself/life fairly well. But there’s a lot of things that I do/struggle with that I have never been able to put my finger on & maybe knowing whether or not I am could give me closure.
I do struggle regulating my emotions, I take things very personally sometimes to the point it can upset me for days & can’t stop thinking about it. These are usually things a lot of people would just let go over their head.
I have my own house & whenever someone knocks uninvited it can even be my mum or dad it triggers me. I don’t act out but I genuinely feel annoyed/irritable at the fact they have come round and it’s something I haven’t been able to mentally prepare for. I know how ridiculous it sounds, believe me.
I am very rigid with routine & if I have something planned in my head (going the gym) etc. & it’s disrupted I get the same irrational feelings. I was driving to work the other day & was late & missed a turn in so reacted by screaming & punching my steering wheel multiple times; I have done this type of behaviour for years. I know it’s childish but it’s like my emotions take over me. When I’m stressed (which doesn’t take much) I feel like I get a little bit dissociated. I also talk to myself when I’m alone all the time; I’ve done this since I was very young.
I definitely think I have a form of OCD as I can’t relax unless I clean my house the exact same specific way & in the same order.
The reason I question whether it may or may not be autism is I don’t struggle with small talk, I have a vivid imagination, I don’t feel uncomfortable with eye contact, I can go out in public anywhere & not particularly feel super uncomfortable (no more awkward than the average person in a new social situation) I go the gym, I have friends & a partner & work full time.
Hi
I'm autistic
Some of what you say relates to me but then again some doesn't but not every autistic person is the same so we wouldn't relate with everything
One thing I would say about the OCD is are you having intrusive thoughts as I was told that sometimes my autism presents as "stereotypical OCD" when it's more doing things the same way is calming like organising etc.
How would you feel about speaking to parents or someone who has known you since childhood as if you pursue an assessment this would be quite a large section
Also autistic people struggling with eye contact can be true (like me) it also isn't true of every autistic person and even if it causes struggles people sometimes mask this
I would recommend making a list of traits that make you think your autistic and tell the doctor as the waiting list is really long and if you go on it and change your mind you can remove yourself but if you realise that it's something you want then your already partway through the process
Hope this helps and let me know if you have any specific questions
I'm autistic
Some of what you say relates to me but then again some doesn't but not every autistic person is the same so we wouldn't relate with everything
One thing I would say about the OCD is are you having intrusive thoughts as I was told that sometimes my autism presents as "stereotypical OCD" when it's more doing things the same way is calming like organising etc.
How would you feel about speaking to parents or someone who has known you since childhood as if you pursue an assessment this would be quite a large section
Also autistic people struggling with eye contact can be true (like me) it also isn't true of every autistic person and even if it causes struggles people sometimes mask this
I would recommend making a list of traits that make you think your autistic and tell the doctor as the waiting list is really long and if you go on it and change your mind you can remove yourself but if you realise that it's something you want then your already partway through the process
Hope this helps and let me know if you have any specific questions
(edited 1 month ago)
