Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.
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Because I haven't lost any weight in 3 weeks I am very very anxious and feel like I am expanding every day even though i'm saying the same. This is horrible 
Makes me feel like i'm getting bigger and bigger and won't stop
Makes me feel like i'm getting bigger and bigger and won't stop Spoiler
I ate quite a lot (unhealthy stuff, too)... My stomach feels stretched and it's so hard not to go to the toilet and bring it back up I'm trying hard to keep it all in...
I'm trying hard to keep it all in...
finding everything really triggering - please can people use spoilers
about university and advice on how to cope - don't really think it's triggering but seeing as i asked people to use spoilers i guess i should just incase...
about university and advice on how to cope - don't really think it's triggering but seeing as i asked people to use spoilers i guess i should just incase...
Spoiler
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by squiff93
finding everything really triggering - please can people use spoilers :'(
Me too actually. I wish people would please please spoiler numbers. How did results day go btw? Did you get into Essex?
Sorry, I can't put it in spoilers now because I made it anonymously, I don't know if mods can change it? Didn't mean to have that effect
Original post by diamonddust Me too actually. I wish people would please please spoiler numbers.
How did results day go btw? Did you get into Essex?
Me too actually. I wish people would please please spoiler numbers. How did results day go btw? Did you get into Essex?
thanks i know like reading peoples posts has started making my heart thump and stuff and it scares me because this thread has helped me to feel better before.
i got into essex
didn't sleep for like 3 days before results though!!i got a D in maths lol (better than i expected) an A in english lit and an A* in psychology
how did your results go???
xxx
Original post by Anonymous
Sorry, I can't put it in spoilers now because I made it anonymously, I don't know if mods can change it? Didn't mean to have that effect
don't worry about it, i've written stuff like that without realising before aswell, trust me it's okay to be honest about how you feel on here just remember that it's not bad all the time and let people know when something goes good - it gives everyone a bit of hope
it's not just down to this anyway - sometimes i'm not even triggerable it's just stress and everything always has a part
For starters Anon - distension is very common during recovery periods for anorexia sufferers as your body reacclimatises back to normality - ie, eating and not killing yourself through starvation. You may encounter bloating and I for one have found despite not being physically heavier, I have gained almost two inches around the abdomen simply through this feeling of ultra-bloat. Your body will soon learn so long as you keep up recovery.
Regarding living with an ED in a new scenario, you should not keep it completely implicit. Let people know what you are enduring. That way, you won't feel so tempted, as I did, to withdraw entirely and let the anorexia be your sole thing in life to the point where your organs fail, you are dying... and you're all alone in that world you created for yourself.
I know my greatest folly was trying to keep my condition completely secret when in reality it was the thing that almost killed me. Weeks away from death, I was still in my tiny apartment, too sick to go to work, making excuses to avoid people, indulging the ED. Jaundiced, Bladder infection, Kidneys failing, liver damage, respiratory problems, muscle atrophy.
Hardly ideal set of circumstances to be doing a degree to, eh?
Regarding living with an ED in a new scenario, you should not keep it completely implicit. Let people know what you are enduring. That way, you won't feel so tempted, as I did, to withdraw entirely and let the anorexia be your sole thing in life to the point where your organs fail, you are dying... and you're all alone in that world you created for yourself.
I know my greatest folly was trying to keep my condition completely secret when in reality it was the thing that almost killed me. Weeks away from death, I was still in my tiny apartment, too sick to go to work, making excuses to avoid people, indulging the ED. Jaundiced, Bladder infection, Kidneys failing, liver damage, respiratory problems, muscle atrophy.
Hardly ideal set of circumstances to be doing a degree to, eh?
I'm recovering (or I like to think I am,getting better day by day) from binge eating disorder. Anyone else out there in the world of the student room in the same position?
Sometimes I feel my problem isn't taken as seriously by medical professionals as other eating disorders due to the fact that I am a normal weight and my bingeing has (thankfully) never got to the stage of 30'000 calories a pop (as I have read about).
Also, it is really encouraging to read all the hopeful and optimistic stories/comments on here, best wishes to you all.
Sometimes I feel my problem isn't taken as seriously by medical professionals as other eating disorders due to the fact that I am a normal weight and my bingeing has (thankfully) never got to the stage of 30'000 calories a pop (as I have read about).
Also, it is really encouraging to read all the hopeful and optimistic stories/comments on here, best wishes to you all.
Original post by Anonymous
Sorry, I can't put it in spoilers now because I made it anonymously, I don't know if mods can change it? Didn't mean to have that effect
Oh hun, no don't feel bad! It's not really anything anyone has said, it's just my brain is latching on to everything today!
Original post by squiff93
thanks i know like reading peoples posts has started making my heart thump and stuff and it scares me because this thread has helped me to feel better before.
i got into essex didn't sleep for like 3 days before results though!!
i got a D in maths lol (better than i expected) an A in english lit and an A* in psychology
how did your results go???
xxx
i got into essex
didn't sleep for like 3 days before results though!!i got a D in maths lol (better than i expected) an A in english lit and an A* in psychology
how did your results go???
xxx
YAY!
I'm seriously proud of you Squiffy, I remember your posts during that period and you were going through an especially hard time! I was angsting on the results day thread all summer haha! I got an A* in English Lit and As in Psychology and RS. I actually cried from relief!
Original post by squiff93
don't worry about it, i've written stuff like that without realising before aswell, trust me it's okay to be honest about how you feel on here just remember that it's not bad all the time and let people know when something goes good - it gives everyone a bit of hope
it's not just down to this anyway - sometimes i'm not even triggerable it's just stress and everything always has a part
it's not just down to this anyway - sometimes i'm not even triggerable it's just stress and everything always has a part
*Nods*
For me, it was Topshop jeans and thinking about going to my old college to return books and get my deposit back. It's odd how some days you can be 'ok' and other days the littlest things can get to you.
to everyone! I love you all even if you're new! 
Original post by diamonddust
Oh hun, no don't feel bad! It's not really anything anyone has said, it's just my brain is latching on to everything today!
YAY! I'm seriously proud of you Squiffy, I remember your posts during that period and you were going through an especially hard time!
I was angsting on the results day thread all summer haha! I got an A* in English Lit and As in Psychology and RS. I actually cried from relief!
*Nods*
For me, it was Topshop jeans and thinking about going to my old college to return books and get my deposit back. It's odd how some days you can be 'ok' and other days the littlest things can get to you.
to everyone! I love you all even if you're new!
YAY!
I'm seriously proud of you Squiffy, I remember your posts during that period and you were going through an especially hard time! I was angsting on the results day thread all summer haha! I got an A* in English Lit and As in Psychology and RS. I actually cried from relief!
*Nods*
For me, it was Topshop jeans and thinking about going to my old college to return books and get my deposit back. It's odd how some days you can be 'ok' and other days the littlest things can get to you.
to everyone! I love you all even if you're new! haha thanks
you did brilliantly seriously proud of you to 
i don't know how i got anywhere near decent grades because my head wasn't ermm screwed on thoughout most of my exams :P but anyways i to was relieved to find out i got in and didn't have to go through the dreaded scary seeming process of clearing. awh yeah, i've had a pretty **** day to i've b/p to the point where i can't walk anymore and i was slouched over the toilet for ages, hopefully tomorrow i can get past it, what ever 'it' is. DD are you scared about uni ??
and thanks toto for your advice on going to university and being in a different setting - i know that someone around me should know just incase anything gets out of control. but i don't see myself telling someone i've only met for a few mins and have to live with, do you think i'd be better off telling someone working at the uni?
Original post by Anonymous
Spoiler
Spoiler
Well done both of you for getting good grades. I got e's in my summer exams. Such a dummy.
Oh well onwards and upwards
Gah i'm so dumb. lol
Oh well onwards and upwards
Gah i'm so dumb. lol
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by diamonddust
Spoiler
Thanks for the hugs, hope you're okay
Sorry about the upcoming spoiler, that will probably be a trigger for most people?Spoiler
Needed to vent
Original post by squiff93
haha thanks you did brilliantly seriously proud of you to i don't know how i got anywhere near decent grades because my head wasn't ermm screwed on thoughout most of my exams :P but anyways i to was relieved to find out i got in and didn't have to go through the dreaded scary seeming process of clearing.
awh yeah, i've had a pretty **** day to i've b/p to the point where i can't walk anymore and i was slouched over the toilet for ages, hopefully tomorrow i can get past it, what ever 'it' is.
DD are you scared about uni ??
and thanks toto for your advice on going to university and being in a different setting - i know that someone around me should know just incase anything gets out of control. but i don't see myself telling someone i've only met for a few mins and have to live with, do you think i'd be better off telling someone working at the uni?
you did brilliantly seriously proud of you to i don't know how i got anywhere near decent grades because my head wasn't ermm screwed on thoughout most of my exams :P but anyways i to was relieved to find out i got in and didn't have to go through the dreaded scary seeming process of clearing. awh yeah, i've had a pretty **** day to i've b/p to the point where i can't walk anymore and i was slouched over the toilet for ages, hopefully tomorrow i can get past it, what ever 'it' is. DD are you scared about uni ??
and thanks toto for your advice on going to university and being in a different setting - i know that someone around me should know just incase anything gets out of control. but i don't see myself telling someone i've only met for a few mins and have to live with, do you think i'd be better off telling someone working at the uni?
I was scared of clearing too! I get really anxious talking on the phone. I'm VERY scared about uni. I keep flitting between excitement and complete fear. I actually seriously thought about deferring yesterday because it seems that things have got worse since my place has been confirmed because I just have this whirl of thoughts in my head. I spoke to my parents who were like 'YOU'RENOTTAKINGAGAPYEAR!!!!!' and they had no actual reason for it and I spoke to my sister who made me feel better because she said she'd help me with meal planning and if I came home every other weekend in the first term, she'd help me sort out meals if I was struggling. I think you should definitely tell someone who works at the uni. There's a mental health co-ordinator at UEA, does Essex have one? They might offer you some help. UEA have been really helpful.
I'm so scared but I feel better knowing that they have ED services and they have people around who can help. My issue is that... I know I won't go for help and admit there's a problem. I'm in denial most of the time and I feel like no-one will believe me.
Original post by Cinamon
Well done both of you for getting good grades. I got e's in my summer exams. Such a dummy.
Oh well onwards and upwards
Gah i'm so dumb. lol
Oh well onwards and upwards
Gah i'm so dumb. lol
i was expecting a u in maths (my actual grades this year in maths were 2 e's and a u, luckily i got a decent grade last year which meant it evened out to a D)
trust me though you aren't a dummy at all
can just tell - i know these things 
Original post by diamonddust
I was scared of clearing too! I get really anxious talking on the phone. I'm VERY scared about uni. I keep flitting between excitement and complete fear. I actually seriously thought about deferring yesterday because it seems that things have got worse since my place has been confirmed because I just have this whirl of thoughts in my head. I spoke to my parents who were like 'YOU'RENOTTAKINGAGAPYEAR!!!!!' and they had no actual reason for it and I spoke to my sister who made me feel better because she said she'd help me with meal planning and if I came home every other weekend in the first term, she'd help me sort out meals if I was struggling. I think you should definitely tell someone who works at the uni. There's a mental health co-ordinator at UEA, does Essex have one? They might offer you some help. UEA have been really helpful.
I'm so scared but I feel better knowing that they have ED services and they have people around who can help. My issue is that... I know I won't go for help and admit there's a problem. I'm in denial most of the time and I feel like no-one will believe me.
I'm so scared but I feel better knowing that they have ED services and they have people around who can help. My issue is that... I know I won't go for help and admit there's a problem. I'm in denial most of the time and I feel like no-one will believe me.
same on the no-one will believe me idea - i've never felt serious enough to ask for help myself it's always been forced upon me and i've rarely ever accepted it. i don't know about what services essex has - i probably should have a look but i still feel reluctant to admit theres a problem. i feel like maybe all i need is a bit of time away from home - a fresh start etc and i'll defo get better, eventhough i'm fully aware it's not that simple....
i'm scared about university to, i'm excited because i love psychology and want to learn more about it but i'm scared i won't make any friends, sometimes i really struggle in social situations and the only thing that helps is alcohol but then when i drink even a little bit i usually pass out which isn't going to make the best impression
i also thought about taking a gap year as i felt like i'd let my ED take over when left alone, but after thinking about it i decided that i'd probably waste a year and then go to university paying a lot more money and let my ED get the better of me then. i think that i just need to learn to control my ED but it's always going to be with me and i'm always going to run the risk of giving it too much control of my life
sorry about the babbling
Original post by Cinamon
Well done both of you for getting good grades. I got e's in my summer exams. Such a dummy.
Oh well onwards and upwards
Gah i'm so dumb. lol
Oh well onwards and upwards
Gah i'm so dumb. lol
You are NOT dumb Cinamon. It's *****ing hard doing A levels when you're going through an ED, being affected by it in terms of your academics doesn't make you dumb at all. I messed up my ASs and I thought it made me an idiot but in reality, I did well to get what I did. You may have got what you did in your summer exams but you must have done 'better' in your January exams and your ASs because otherwise you wouldn't be going to a uni as good as Keele, right? So don't use this as a reason to berate yourself because you're ****ing amazing and you've been a HUGE support to me and I won't let you say anything horrible about yourself because it isn't true! Sciences are really hard anyway and they aren't blaggable like essay subjects can sometimes be. I couldn't have done your subjects and got above Us!
Love you!
How are you feeling about going to uni? I'm really sorry you didn't get into UEA, if only for the selfish reason that I wanted to meet you irl!
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks for the hugs, hope you're okay Sorry about the upcoming spoiler, that will probably be a trigger for most people?
Needed to vent
Sorry about the upcoming spoiler, that will probably be a trigger for most people?Spoiler
Needed to vent
Spoiler
Original post by squiff93
x
Original post by diamonddust
x
Awwww
Yeah I have always been good at essay subjects but in the end my E brought me down to a B for English And the sciences, well... it takes a lot more effort to absorb and understand the information and I find it SO much harder but I like to push myself so... biomed it is! When I don't think about UEA, I feel great about uni - really looking forward to it
And you'll have a great time - don't let your ED stop you if you're looking forward to it. I bet everything will slot into place and if not, UEA is soooo good for student support 
