Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.
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Original post by squiff93
Your weight isn't actually normal, eventhough you aren't tall you are actually underweight. Therefore you can in no way shape or form look fat, realistically you must look thin!
Don't focus on his approval it is what you think of yourself that really counts, and to be honest that shouldn't all be down to appearance, especially not a number on a stupid stupid scale!
I discharged myself from the ED services, and personally think i coped pretty well alone. Unfortunately now i can see myself slipping back into my old ways, this sounds silly but i want to restrict and restrict till i get to the weight i was and till i feel adequate enough to ask for help again.
Don't focus on his approval it is what you think of yourself that really counts, and to be honest that shouldn't all be down to appearance, especially not a number on a stupid stupid scale!
I discharged myself from the ED services, and personally think i coped pretty well alone. Unfortunately now i can see myself slipping back into my old ways, this sounds silly but i want to restrict and restrict till i get to the weight i was and till i feel adequate enough to ask for help again.
Squiff, apply what you've said to Aditi to yourself! You don't need to focus on the approval of your nan (who frankly does sound like a bitch) nor do you need to spite her by restricting/losing weight again. All you'd be doing by that is what she and your ED wants you to do, it'll achieve nothing. There will be thousands of complete bitches and dicks out there just trying to undermine your efforts and put you down because they're such losers themselves all they can do with their time is try and bring other decent folk down to their level. You're above that, you can prove your worth to yourself by being the best in who and what you are-screw the haters! But really, what's there to prove? All there is to be done really is to simply be, and love being.
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New revelation. I may be eating too much.
This sounds so utterly counter-productive and ED-driven, but what I mean is, I feel like half the time I'm eating for the sake of it rather than because I want or need to, and that in itself is hindering recovery. I talk a lot about having lost my hunger signals and putting it down to lack of protein, depletion of EFAs etc., but thinking about it it could sometimes just be because, well, I'm not actually hungry? All comes down to being afraid to restrict so just eating to please others or ensure I don't lose anymore rather than I when I want to eat.
(edited 12 years ago)
I have no idea how to get any help. I'm beginning to realise that's what I need- I'm not exactly sure what needs to happen, but it's clear that something does. The thing is though, I'm overweight. That's not an exaggeration, I actually am and like... yeah. I can't really go into my doctor's and say "I do x, y and z, even though I look the way I do" because I'm too scared that she won't believe me.
But also, I need to sort myself out. I want to loose a bit of weight healthily and just generally be a bit fitter and healthier, but I've got no idea how to actually go about that- I've only ever lost weight by starvation and things. I mean, I know that you have to eat less processed food and just generally a bit less and stuff, but I don't know how, if that makes sense.
And also, I'm massively scared of making myself unwell again. I played with trying to loose weight a few months ago and it quickly spiraled into not eating and trying to only eat x calories and things (the ****ing gym machines have a "calories burnt" thing
) and I don't want to do that.
All I want is to be able to take better care of my body by feeding it well and exercising it and things, but it seems to be all or nothing- I can eat lots, or I can starve, and I can exercise lots or I can lay in bed. Siiiigh. More mindless ranting.
But does anyone know where I could try and get some help?
But also, I need to sort myself out. I want to loose a bit of weight healthily and just generally be a bit fitter and healthier, but I've got no idea how to actually go about that- I've only ever lost weight by starvation and things. I mean, I know that you have to eat less processed food and just generally a bit less and stuff, but I don't know how, if that makes sense.
And also, I'm massively scared of making myself unwell again. I played with trying to loose weight a few months ago and it quickly spiraled into not eating and trying to only eat x calories and things (the ****ing gym machines have a "calories burnt" thing
) and I don't want to do that. All I want is to be able to take better care of my body by feeding it well and exercising it and things, but it seems to be all or nothing- I can eat lots, or I can starve, and I can exercise lots or I can lay in bed. Siiiigh. More mindless ranting.
But does anyone know where I could try and get some help?
Original post by ZZ9
I have no idea how to get any help. I'm beginning to realise that's what I need- I'm not exactly sure what needs to happen, but it's clear that something does. The thing is though, I'm overweight. That's not an exaggeration, I actually am and like... yeah. I can't really go into my doctor's and say "I do x, y and z, even though I look the way I do" because I'm too scared that she won't believe me.
But also, I need to sort myself out. I want to loose a bit of weight healthily and just generally be a bit fitter and healthier, but I've got no idea how to actually go about that- I've only ever lost weight by starvation and things. I mean, I know that you have to eat less processed food and just generally a bit less and stuff, but I don't know how, if that makes sense.
And also, I'm massively scared of making myself unwell again. I played with trying to loose weight a few months ago and it quickly spiraled into not eating and trying to only eat x calories and things (the ****ing gym machines have a "calories burnt" thing) and I don't want to do that.
All I want is to be able to take better care of my body by feeding it well and exercising it and things, but it seems to be all or nothing- I can eat lots, or I can starve, and I can exercise lots or I can lay in bed. Siiiigh. More mindless ranting.
But does anyone know where I could try and get some help?
But also, I need to sort myself out. I want to loose a bit of weight healthily and just generally be a bit fitter and healthier, but I've got no idea how to actually go about that- I've only ever lost weight by starvation and things. I mean, I know that you have to eat less processed food and just generally a bit less and stuff, but I don't know how, if that makes sense.
And also, I'm massively scared of making myself unwell again. I played with trying to loose weight a few months ago and it quickly spiraled into not eating and trying to only eat x calories and things (the ****ing gym machines have a "calories burnt" thing
) and I don't want to do that. All I want is to be able to take better care of my body by feeding it well and exercising it and things, but it seems to be all or nothing- I can eat lots, or I can starve, and I can exercise lots or I can lay in bed. Siiiigh. More mindless ranting.
But does anyone know where I could try and get some help?
Hey, my ED and anxiety have caused me to get quite unfit after being in relatively good shape the last few years and I understand your dilemma. Congrats for me making that first step towards doing something positive for yourself!
Don't be afraid of the docs, although some seem to believe you don't have an ED unless you're emaciated there are also those who understand the stereotypical ED sufferer is in fact very rare, are very sympathetic and willing to help you however they can. Also have you considered seeing a dietician to get a better idea of how your weekly diet and amount of exercise is right now and your guideline daily calorie allowance (because it's not a hard and fast rule)? Mine's helped loads and I'm returning for a little extra support if possible.
Along with this thread I'm using the Healthy New You for support, they might be able to help you a little too. There's also lots of useful info on the Health and Fitness stickies about good nutrition and basics of exercise.
Forgive me if this all sounds patronising, but I think what you might want to do is not look at it as losing weight, restriction, calorie-counting or anything like that because these are all destructive and negative perceptions that you know will trigger you from past experience. General rule, people with disordered thoughts should not diet. It's not about reaching X weight, it's about being happy with who you are and doing everything you can to show how much you love yourself.
Nutrition is not down to a tee though there's myriad resources out there to give you an idea if you want to dig deeper. Something I harp on about a lot (dietician's mantra) is there are no good or bad diets, only good and bad approaches to food and weight. Instead try to see it as wanting to be a little more conscious with your food choices and general habits (food-wise and elsewhere) for your own benefit. It's a lot more simple than you think-stuff like swapping a chocolate bar for a piece of fruit as a snack most days, and then having a chocolate bar or something nice if you fancy it once or twice a week; choosing natural foods/home-made meals over processed and packaged stuff most of the time but allowing the odd pizza or takeaway in there sometimes; walking to college/work/your mates rather than taking the bus or train; using the stairs rather than the escalator; eating when you're hungry, stopping (mostly) when you're full or have had enough, know that you can come back to it whenever you feel hungry again, allowing the odd indulgence; not getting pissed every night...seriously, it all adds up!
Oh, and fat does NOT make you fat, nor is it bad for you. You need a bit of all the food groups-carbs, protein, fats to name the basics. Fat in moderate portions is actually incredibly good for you and there's numerous benefits for it despite what you may believe. The only thing which is unhealthy is excess, restrictive eating (i.e. "good" and "bad" foods) and lack of self-care.
Exercise-wise, you want to choose a sport or hobby you love and can get completely absorbed in the pleasure of simply doing rather than having to reach a certain goal ('cos really, it's a bit of fun at the end of the day). Team games are quite a good choice because they take you outside the exercise "bubble" ED sufferers often get locked in (me included) and helping you contribute to something greater than yourself.
A bit of this, a bit of that, all in moderation. I waffle because in truth there's no exact science to better health and well-being, it's all trial and error, perseverance and belief. See it as your personal, self-empowered choice for a lifestyle change designed to give you greater content and happiness by taking better care of yourself generally. Half of that's taking care of yourself mentally, remember-healthy mind, healthy body!
(edited 12 years ago)
Toto, did you know about this?
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1871419
EDIT; Found you are up for 3 of them! Congrats!
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1871419
EDIT; Found you are up for 3 of them! Congrats!
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by Antiaris
Wow, I'm a candidate?! No, I didn't know this!! Why am I a candidate!?! I'm humbled to heckery!!!
New Year's Resolution - to get back / maintain a healthier and happier relationship with food
Original post by TotoMimo
I want to get this thread back on track. No offence xAditi but your tone is somewhat pro-ana with some of your comments. You shouldn't be proud of sticking-out bones whatsoever nor use them as an indication of a massive mental disorder.
I have a belly but I have an eating disorder and I am very underweight.
Fat is no indication of a massive underlying issue and you should understand you have a large problem, probably moreso than many on here.
Why? We have accepted we have big issues. You still kid yourself.
The bubble is powerful but not impenetrable.
I have a belly but I have an eating disorder and I am very underweight.
Fat is no indication of a massive underlying issue and you should understand you have a large problem, probably moreso than many on here.
Why? We have accepted we have big issues. You still kid yourself.
The bubble is powerful but not impenetrable.
I'm sorry, I didn't intend for anything I said to come across as pro-ana at all! I suppose you're right, it's even more crucial to address from a mental perspective that a physical one.
Final insight for this year; if I define myself by my mental condition, I become my condition. Spent an hour writing an essay about my ED, anxiety, OCD, then binged.
You are all so much more than an eating disorder. You are a person before a condition. You are amazing people, ED or none.
Happy New Year, all the best for 2012 : )
You are all so much more than an eating disorder. You are a person before a condition. You are amazing people, ED or none.
Happy New Year, all the best for 2012 : )
I'm sorry this has happened to you. I'm going through the same kind of thing, so I know how hard it is.
I feel I'm at some kind of loose end and I haven't even been properly diagnosed. I have all the symptoms of anorexia except I'm not underweight, i'm a healthy weight from a medical point of view. I also have all the symptoms of bulimia. What I do is if I eat a little bit of anything I can't stop. I go on a complete bulimic type binge where I just put everything I can find into my mouth. I'll lie about things - for example I'll say i'm going for a bath and go and eat on my own. Or i'll take my brother's food and then convince him he ate it. Unlike bulimia, I don't make myself sick. After a binge I'll just not eat for a good 3/4 days and exercise a lot.
The worse part is I love food so much, . I enjoy cooking as well. It's kind of a no win situation: if I eat I can't control myself and binge and feel awful, if I eat a little I get angry that I have to restrict my portions and if I eat nothing I feel equally as bad and hungry.
I'm lonely as well. I do have friends, but they're not very understanding. I don't think they mean to but they do leave me out of the picture . Maybe it's because I tend to avoid a lot of social events due to food. But still I just feel I don't have anyone in particular I can really trust
I hate this thing I've got and everything it's doing to me but at the same time in a strange way, i'm scared to get better. I'm terrified i'll fail my exams but at the same time I hate going to school and can't concentrate on anything but food and worry about people looking at me.
Sorry this was such a long bloggy reply, but I just wanted to get it out there.
I feel I'm at some kind of loose end and I haven't even been properly diagnosed. I have all the symptoms of anorexia except I'm not underweight, i'm a healthy weight from a medical point of view. I also have all the symptoms of bulimia. What I do is if I eat a little bit of anything I can't stop. I go on a complete bulimic type binge where I just put everything I can find into my mouth. I'll lie about things - for example I'll say i'm going for a bath and go and eat on my own. Or i'll take my brother's food and then convince him he ate it. Unlike bulimia, I don't make myself sick. After a binge I'll just not eat for a good 3/4 days and exercise a lot.
The worse part is I love food so much, . I enjoy cooking as well. It's kind of a no win situation: if I eat I can't control myself and binge and feel awful, if I eat a little I get angry that I have to restrict my portions and if I eat nothing I feel equally as bad and hungry.
I'm lonely as well. I do have friends, but they're not very understanding. I don't think they mean to but they do leave me out of the picture . Maybe it's because I tend to avoid a lot of social events due to food. But still I just feel I don't have anyone in particular I can really trust
I hate this thing I've got and everything it's doing to me but at the same time in a strange way, i'm scared to get better. I'm terrified i'll fail my exams but at the same time I hate going to school and can't concentrate on anything but food and worry about people looking at me.
Sorry this was such a long bloggy reply, but I just wanted to get it out there.
I'm starving. I haven't had anything to eat since last year...
(((Keep me anonymous, please!)))
(((Keep me anonymous, please!)))
Anon, eat something. What can starving yourself voluntarily possibly achieve?
Didn't realise this thread existed so I'll post here too.
I've been suffering from an eating disorder for the past couple of years and have come to the realisation that I should tackle it now rather than later.
One on one counselling seems like the best route for me but I've noticed some local therapists seem to be charging extortionate fees (£40-60 a session).
Will it be worth my money (and time) going to one of these guys? Would a GP be able to refer me one therefore bypassing fees (or making them cheaper altogether), or would posting on ED online forums be better value for money/ more helpful?
Thanks.
I've been suffering from an eating disorder for the past couple of years and have come to the realisation that I should tackle it now rather than later.
One on one counselling seems like the best route for me but I've noticed some local therapists seem to be charging extortionate fees (£40-60 a session).
Will it be worth my money (and time) going to one of these guys? Would a GP be able to refer me one therefore bypassing fees (or making them cheaper altogether), or would posting on ED online forums be better value for money/ more helpful?
Thanks.
Also, how can you tell the difference between bulimia/ gerd and a food allergy
Original post by TotoMimo
Anon, eat something. What can starving yourself voluntarily possibly achieve?
He was 'joking'... Coz last year was yesterday.
I was aware that "since last year" implied a day ago. I just didn't link a serious mental condition to a fairly tepid joke as warranting a joke post, and took it as genuine.
I mean, nobody is THAT thick-witted, surely.
OTHER Anonymous, (Man, it's difficult to keep track of all you Anons), a food allergy is completely medical and involuntary reaction, whereas bulimia is the process of voluntarily purging despite having the rationale that it is illogical to do so.
I mean, nobody is THAT thick-witted, surely.
OTHER Anonymous, (Man, it's difficult to keep track of all you Anons), a food allergy is completely medical and involuntary reaction, whereas bulimia is the process of voluntarily purging despite having the rationale that it is illogical to do so.
Hey sorry, I'm fairly confused that that was posted because they PM'd me with a warning. I'm anon #6 and I simply posted anon because I thought I'd posted very early on in this thread and indeed I had!
I'm sorry if that made no sense.
I don't remember what I said last time but I never quite stuck to posting here despite having little support since I turned 18 and couldnt go to CAHMS anymore.
Anyway, I haven't b/p since 8th November, after more than a year of it.
So anyway hi il introduce myself properly another time
I'm sorry if that made no sense.
I don't remember what I said last time but I never quite stuck to posting here despite having little support since I turned 18 and couldnt go to CAHMS anymore.
Anyway, I haven't b/p since 8th November, after more than a year of it.
So anyway hi il introduce myself properly another time
Kayla, nearly two months with no relapse? Well done, sweetheart!
And might I extend my formal greeting to you and state you're incredibly brave to drop the "anon" tag here. Long may your recovery continue and you allow us here on TSR to give you the moral support you require to keep up your strength in your days of need.
X
And might I extend my formal greeting to you and state you're incredibly brave to drop the "anon" tag here. Long may your recovery continue and you allow us here on TSR to give you the moral support you require to keep up your strength in your days of need.
X
Today, I am starting recovery again. I've said it now. I have to stick to my word. 
After a not so great week between Xmas and New Year's, but I have to pick the ball up again. I am young, I want to travel, I want to get a good education and I want to have a wonderful social life, but I've realised that until I eat better, I can't truly be mentally healthy (although depression and bulimia go hand in hand... I'll also never be free from ED thoughts if I'm not truly happy. But I can do this!).
What's the use of this, at all? Do I want to look back on my early twenties in about 30 years time and remember it as the time I struggled with an ED? No. I want to remember it as the most amazing time in my life so far. And in order to do this, I need to stay strong. No, I need to become much, much stronger. Starting right now.
(If I can beat this, so can you, everyone in this thread)
After a not so great week between Xmas and New Year's, but I have to pick the ball up again. I am young, I want to travel, I want to get a good education and I want to have a wonderful social life, but I've realised that until I eat better, I can't truly be mentally healthy (although depression and bulimia go hand in hand... I'll also never be free from ED thoughts if I'm not truly happy. But I can do this!). What's the use of this, at all? Do I want to look back on my early twenties in about 30 years time and remember it as the time I struggled with an ED? No. I want to remember it as the most amazing time in my life so far. And in order to do this, I need to stay strong. No, I need to become much, much stronger. Starting right now.
(If I can beat this, so can you, everyone in this thread)
Thank you
If anyone read that, thank you I know it was very long but they won't be as long as that in future
Oh looking back its not as long as I thought!
Spoiler
If anyone read that, thank you I know it was very long but they won't be as long as that in future
Oh looking back its not as long as I thought!
Hi, I've just found this thread so I apologise if this topic has been covered before.
I'm hoping to go to uni to study medicine next year, my applications going well and it's looking like I'll get the grades, but about 6 months ago I started relapsing into some old habits. I was diagnosed with anorexia 2 and a bit years ago, I've been 'recovered' for just under a year, but then I started turning towards bulimia and now I'm pretty sure I'm relapsing into my anorexia. Actually, I'm pretty sure it's worse than the last time. Anyway, my mum noticed something was up, and mentioned that there's no way I could cope with an eating disorder at uni. But she has no idea of the bulimia, or how bad it's gotten over the past 6 months, and that I've managed to cope with my A levels fine with it (so far). My ED has never really affected my grades, no matter how many times my therapist told me it would.
I was just wondering really, is anyone ever successful at uni if they're coping with an ED, mild or not? I understand it's always going to be a lot harder than if you're healthy, but surely some people just push through it, manage to motivate themselves to study a lot, and manage to get good grades?
Obviously studying medicine is really important to me, it's more important to me than anything. If I don't get the grades I have no idea what I'll do, I'd have nothing that means anything to me, (I don't know if this makes sense, I'm kinda rambling) but I just can't recover at the moment. I don't want to. I know that's terrible and I wish I could just be happy and healthy, but being at a healthy weight tends to make me a little suicidal at the moment, and I don't seem to be able to get out of bulimic habits in a healthy way. I also had a pretty bad experience with recovery. I am terrified of people finding out I have an ED, anyone at all, regardless of whether they are a professional or not.
I feel like this sounds awful, I'm not promoting EDs and I really do wish I could recover. I'm just not ready to even consider it, and I'd like a bit of a warning if I am really destroying all chances of doing something with my life. I'm not looking for something to fuel my ED, I guess I just want to know of peoples experience of dealing with an ED at uni.
I'm hoping to go to uni to study medicine next year, my applications going well and it's looking like I'll get the grades, but about 6 months ago I started relapsing into some old habits. I was diagnosed with anorexia 2 and a bit years ago, I've been 'recovered' for just under a year, but then I started turning towards bulimia and now I'm pretty sure I'm relapsing into my anorexia. Actually, I'm pretty sure it's worse than the last time. Anyway, my mum noticed something was up, and mentioned that there's no way I could cope with an eating disorder at uni. But she has no idea of the bulimia, or how bad it's gotten over the past 6 months, and that I've managed to cope with my A levels fine with it (so far). My ED has never really affected my grades, no matter how many times my therapist told me it would.
I was just wondering really, is anyone ever successful at uni if they're coping with an ED, mild or not? I understand it's always going to be a lot harder than if you're healthy, but surely some people just push through it, manage to motivate themselves to study a lot, and manage to get good grades?
Obviously studying medicine is really important to me, it's more important to me than anything. If I don't get the grades I have no idea what I'll do, I'd have nothing that means anything to me, (I don't know if this makes sense, I'm kinda rambling) but I just can't recover at the moment. I don't want to. I know that's terrible and I wish I could just be happy and healthy, but being at a healthy weight tends to make me a little suicidal at the moment, and I don't seem to be able to get out of bulimic habits in a healthy way. I also had a pretty bad experience with recovery. I am terrified of people finding out I have an ED, anyone at all, regardless of whether they are a professional or not.
I feel like this sounds awful, I'm not promoting EDs and I really do wish I could recover. I'm just not ready to even consider it, and I'd like a bit of a warning if I am really destroying all chances of doing something with my life. I'm not looking for something to fuel my ED, I guess I just want to know of peoples experience of dealing with an ED at uni.
