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Depression Society MKVI
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That sounds pretty awesome to me too, I'm really weird and OCD so organising things into logical order and such is my idea of heaven. This job is pretty basic - just entering data onto Excel, updating clients with orders, filing and faxing and so on.
Man, why'd you ever leave? The food here is amazing!
Man, why'd you ever leave? The food here is amazing!
Original post by Delain
That sounds pretty awesome to me too, I'm really weird and OCD so organising things into logical order and such is my idea of heaven. This job is pretty basic - just entering data onto Excel, updating clients with orders, filing and faxing and so on.
Man, why'd you ever leave? The food here is amazing!
Man, why'd you ever leave? The food here is amazing!
I have OCD so it was perfect although the files fell of the shelf once and I was inconsolable. They had to call my parents to take me home for the day
I left for uni purposes and because the city was driving me further into depression. I haven't found any foods anywhere else in the country that I love as much as my Stokie foods!
Original post by warp2125
Thats ok... I must seem like a right fruit cake.... the whole thing has left me feeling like I have an open wound and every time I move it hurts. Honestly this feels sooo stupid.. my whole chest and stomach are so tight I feel sick....
I would give anything right now to turn back the clock and do things differently or be able to sit down and explain my actions... and atone for it....damn it!!!!!
I would give anything right now to turn back the clock and do things differently or be able to sit down and explain my actions... and atone for it....damn it!!!!!
Honestly hun you don't seem like a right fruit cake or anything, I know how it feels to get so caught up in feeling guilty about the past. It so easily just takes over everything, and hurts so constantly! You shouldn't feel stupid, it is **** I will give you that, and it makes you feel so rubbish and ill!
Can you not talk to whoever you did whatever to and explain what you did or why you did it? I don't know how to get over these things at all most of my life is spent feeling guilty about things
Original post by ParadoxSocks
I have OCD so it was perfect although the files fell of the shelf once and I was inconsolable. They had to call my parents to take me home for the day
I left for uni purposes and because the city was driving me further into depression. I haven't found any foods anywhere else in the country that I love as much as my Stokie foods!
I left for uni purposes and because the city was driving me further into depression. I haven't found any foods anywhere else in the country that I love as much as my Stokie foods!
I can imagine, that must have sucked! I don't blame you on that front, it's not the most cheerful place here. The food is one of the few good things about it.
Original post by Phoenix07
Honestly hun you don't seem like a right fruit cake or anything, I know how it feels to get so caught up in feeling guilty about the past. It so easily just takes over everything, and hurts so constantly! You shouldn't feel stupid, it is **** I will give you that, and it makes you feel so rubbish and ill!
Can you not talk to whoever you did whatever to and explain what you did or why you did it? I don't know how to get over these things at all most of my life is spent feeling guilty about things
Can you not talk to whoever you did whatever to and explain what you did or why you did it? I don't know how to get over these things at all most of my life is spent feeling guilty about things
I did talk with her... but I was still being stubborn at the time.... didnt really say what i should have. last thing was we agreed to be civil to each other..... didnt cure the pain....
Have already been sick.... have broken my phone and keep clawing at myself....
I know that I need to see a doctor before I lose it completely but I don't know if I have the strength. Too embarrassed to see my regular doctor and when I play doctor roulette I always end up with a stupid or hurtful one. The last one called me selfish because I was feeling very suicidal.
Have a meeting about body image in an hour to discuss a uni mental health campaign but I feel too fat and stupid and useless to attend. Just want to stay in my stupid bed and sleep.
I need to ask for a replacement coursework (missed the last one's deadline) and I have no idea how it's going to work out.
Have a meeting about body image in an hour to discuss a uni mental health campaign but I feel too fat and stupid and useless to attend. Just want to stay in my stupid bed and sleep.
I need to ask for a replacement coursework (missed the last one's deadline) and I have no idea how it's going to work out.
Original post by warp2125
I did talk with her... but I was still being stubborn at the time.... didnt really say what i should have. last thing was we agreed to be civil to each other..... didnt cure the pain....
Have already been sick.... have broken my phone and keep clawing at myself....
Have already been sick.... have broken my phone and keep clawing at myself....
can't you try and talk to her again? but say what you want to this time?
Breaking things and hurting yourself won't help to make it any less painful though, I have spent months feeling so physically ill over stuff ... but a lot of the time the only way to try and get through it is by being totally honest and talking about it! Lifes **** but we just have to try and do the best with what we have, so we are all going to **** up and do things wrong, you just have to find some way to get through and carry on though!
Original post by Delain
I can imagine, that must have sucked! I don't blame you on that front, it's not the most cheerful place here. The food is one of the few good things about it.
It's getting much better now though. Manufacturing is coming back so hopefully we'll have some awesome surge towards becoming awesome again. I can't wait to move back now that I'm stuck elsewhere. Always thought I'd be better once I got out but now I just miss it too much.
Original post by Phoenix07
can't you try and talk to her again? but say what you want to this time?
Breaking things and hurting yourself won't help to make it any less painful though, I have spent months feeling so physically ill over stuff ... but a lot of the time the only way to try and get through it is by being totally honest and talking about it! Lifes **** but we just have to try and do the best with what we have, so we are all going to **** up and do things wrong, you just have to find some way to get through and carry on though!
Breaking things and hurting yourself won't help to make it any less painful though, I have spent months feeling so physically ill over stuff ... but a lot of the time the only way to try and get through it is by being totally honest and talking about it! Lifes **** but we just have to try and do the best with what we have, so we are all going to **** up and do things wrong, you just have to find some way to get through and carry on though!
To be honest Im too afraid to.... what the hell was I thinking...
I dont even have a third party i can turn too......I am such an a hole....
Original post by ParadoxSocks
I know that I need to see a doctor before I lose it completely but I don't know if I have the strength. Too embarrassed to see my regular doctor and when I play doctor roulette I always end up with a stupid or hurtful one. The last one called me selfish because I was feeling very suicidal.
Have a meeting about body image in an hour to discuss a uni mental health campaign but I feel too fat and stupid and useless to attend. Just want to stay in my stupid bed and sleep.
I need to ask for a replacement coursework (missed the last one's deadline) and I have no idea how it's going to work out.
Have a meeting about body image in an hour to discuss a uni mental health campaign but I feel too fat and stupid and useless to attend. Just want to stay in my stupid bed and sleep.
I need to ask for a replacement coursework (missed the last one's deadline) and I have no idea how it's going to work out.
I know how this one goes. I think the majority of doctors become so because they don't actually like dealing with people, so that position gives them an excuse to be a dick to people. I've had some pretty bad ones believe me - one of which, when I asked him to help me, sighed at me and said "what do you want me to do about it?" I got upset, went to the reception to book an appointment to see another doctor and they REFUSED to let me. The doctor then screamed at me in the doctors receptionist along with two receptionists calling me everything from an attention seeker, to "unhinged", and so on. I was pretty distressed by this and I told them (well screamed if truth be told) that I was going to go home and slit my wrists. He told me that was "my decision and not his problem". I probably would have done it in all honesty if my fiancé had not been home and consoled me. I found it laughable that he called the police and they came round "because he was concerned about me". More like he didn't want to get sued in the event that I did do anything to myself. Hah. So yeah, I understand completely how inconsiderate and unfeeling a lot of medical professionals can be on the subject of depression. I hope you manage to get your replacement coursework sorted out and see a doctor you feel you can trust.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by roardinosaur
Hello, I'm a bit worried about something...
For the past year or so I've come to rely on my mentor for support.
I'm in sixth form and I'd like to think I am mature enough to not cling to people for 24.7 support, but this weekend I have spent the whole time missing my mentor and I have had the longing feeling to hug her. We do hug a lot and this isn't the problem, despite her being my teacher and all those boundaries being in place. What is the problem is that I have troubled her for much too long and I want to show her I'm ok again, but instead I just want a level of reassurance from her. It's made worse by the fact I'm leaving soon, and I know I will miss her.
Honestly, she is like my aunty. I feel bad for burdening her when I know she isn't strictly mine to burden, and when I know she has her own problems...
She does care and if I tell her I feel bad she shakes it off and tells me I'm being silly. I want to listen to this but I know she has her own problems and I can't expect her to deal with all of mine.
Sometimes I get the impression she avoids me too, which makes me miss her more. But, I don't know whether I imagine this because I'm getting paranoid and miss her. It makes it worse that I only have a month left to see her, after that I'll be leaving.
Can someone advise me on what to do?
I try to talk to other people, but I can't talk to anyone like I can her.
I want to run up to her and give her a big hug, but I know everytime I do, I get more clingy.
Is this part of my depression? Or do we really have a bond that allows me to talk to her in this way? :/
Thank you and please quote me if you'd like to reply, I'd hate to miss your message.
For the past year or so I've come to rely on my mentor for support.
I'm in sixth form and I'd like to think I am mature enough to not cling to people for 24.7 support, but this weekend I have spent the whole time missing my mentor and I have had the longing feeling to hug her. We do hug a lot and this isn't the problem, despite her being my teacher and all those boundaries being in place. What is the problem is that I have troubled her for much too long and I want to show her I'm ok again, but instead I just want a level of reassurance from her. It's made worse by the fact I'm leaving soon, and I know I will miss her.
Honestly, she is like my aunty. I feel bad for burdening her when I know she isn't strictly mine to burden, and when I know she has her own problems...
She does care and if I tell her I feel bad she shakes it off and tells me I'm being silly. I want to listen to this but I know she has her own problems and I can't expect her to deal with all of mine.
Sometimes I get the impression she avoids me too, which makes me miss her more. But, I don't know whether I imagine this because I'm getting paranoid and miss her. It makes it worse that I only have a month left to see her, after that I'll be leaving.
Can someone advise me on what to do?
I try to talk to other people, but I can't talk to anyone like I can her.
I want to run up to her and give her a big hug, but I know everytime I do, I get more clingy.
Is this part of my depression? Or do we really have a bond that allows me to talk to her in this way? :/
Thank you and please quote me if you'd like to reply, I'd hate to miss your message.
I'll have a stab at this, just in case your post gets buried and nobody else answers it.
First of all, whilst your feelings towards this teacher sound completely understandable in the circumstances, and because you've been talking to her for long, if I were you I'd start looking for little ways to distance yourself from her now, because you are so close to leaving school and not having her for support in the future. That should make the wrench when you leave school a little easier to handle.
If you see her on a regular basis, or have a set time each day/week that you see her, maybe you could try to space these out a bit more?
Once you've found somebody supportive it's easy to fall into the trap of depending on them a little too much. It isn't your fault, because you're vulnerable at the moment - it's a natural reaction, but it can still be problematic.
I had a teacher at school who helped me out for 2 years and who was my form tutor for 5 years, but she changed schools and moved a couple of hundred miles away when I was in year 12, which I found really difficult to deal with for a while, which is why I'd encourage you to slowly start preparing yourself now by not seeing this teacher quite so much, and by letting her know why (that you're aware you're leaving soon etc.)
You don't say in your post, but I presume you've been diagnosed, and have some other form of support in place? Whether from your GP, CAMHS, etc. ? If you don't, I'd strongly recommend seeing a doctor and getting some other support in place. Teachers can be excellent listeners, good empathisers, and have some level of training for talking to students, but in most cases professionals such as GPs, psychologists, psychiatrists and counsellors will be much better placed to advise and give support.
When it comes to talking to other people, I understand what you mean when you say it doesn't feel as helpful as talking to this teacher. An understanding with a person, whether it be a teacher, a friend or a doctor, comes with time. When you've found a good listener you don't want to let them go because it feels like nobody will understand you in the same way that they do, but I can promise you that there are lots of other people out there that will do a good job if you give them time and a little of your trust.
I know it can be difficult - I've felt it when my teacher left; when I was transferred from child and adolescent to adult mental health care; when my schools nurse was reassigned - but the truth is that after a few sessions with a new person, provided that they are good at their job (and most of them are) you'll feel just as supported by them as you do now by your teacher (though I wouldn't expect hugs from a psychiatrist
).Hope that helped, even if it was a little rambling and long.
Original post by Anonymous
Just try to keep your head up
I know!
I'm off to bed now, have a good day tomorrow x
I know!
I'm off to bed now, have a good day tomorrow x
Thanks, hopefully will some stuff out Thursday and see what I can do from there.
Hope you slept well, hope your day is good too.
Original post by warp2125
To be honest Im too afraid to.... what the hell was I thinking...
I dont even have a third party i can turn too......I am such an a hole....
I dont even have a third party i can turn too......I am such an a hole....
Try not to let yourself get too caught up, you can't change the past hun, you can only try and not do the same thing in the future! And I am sure what you did made sense at the time hun ... things always seem worse when you look back and think what you could/should have done differently! but you can't change any of it!
You aren't an a hole though hun, and you have me that you can talk to if nothing else!
Original post by Phoenix07
Try not to let yourself get too caught up, you can't change the past hun, you can only try and not do the same thing in the future! And I am sure what you did made sense at the time hun ... things always seem worse when you look back and think what you could/should have done differently! but you can't change any of it!
You aren't an a hole though hun, and you have me that you can talk to if nothing else!
You aren't an a hole though hun, and you have me that you can talk to if nothing else!
Hey... sorry I cant talk about it anymore... Im gonna be off for a while... cant stand the sight of myself right now.
Missed college again today, but managed to take a shower! (unfortunately I consider this an achievement at the moment 
)
Anyone else find that their personal hygiene goes completely out of the window?! I'm averaging 1 bath/shower a week at the moment and only wear make-up for work on Saturday (purely because I work in a salon). I'm beginning to look rather ill
)Anyone else find that their personal hygiene goes completely out of the window?! I'm averaging 1 bath/shower a week at the moment and only wear make-up for work on Saturday (purely because I work in a salon). I'm beginning to look rather ill
for the love of ****.
had my initial phone appointment just now, which I think went okay, but at the end they tell me there is a 3 month waiting list for therapy 3 ****ing months, that's really helpful then, not.
seriously, how **** are mental health services here if that's the wait...
had my initial phone appointment just now, which I think went okay, but at the end they tell me there is a 3 month waiting list for therapy
3 ****ing months, that's really helpful then, not.seriously, how **** are mental health services here if that's the wait...
Original post by warp2125
Hey... sorry I cant talk about it anymore... Im gonna be off for a while... cant stand the sight of myself right now.
ok hun, sorry I couldn't help! spend some time relaxing and not thinking about it all and I hope you start feeling a bit better at some point
Original post by Anonymous
Missed college again today, but managed to take a shower! (unfortunately I consider this an achievement at the moment )
Anyone else find that their personal hygiene goes completely out of the window?! I'm averaging 1 bath/shower a week at the moment and only wear make-up for work on Saturday (purely because I work in a salon). I'm beginning to look rather ill
)Anyone else find that their personal hygiene goes completely out of the window?! I'm averaging 1 bath/shower a week at the moment and only wear make-up for work on Saturday (purely because I work in a salon). I'm beginning to look rather ill
Yes I find that this is the case for me too, as well as not eating properly.
Original post by SciFiBoy
for the love of ****.
had my initial phone appointment just now, which I think went okay, but at the end they tell me there is a 3 month waiting list for therapy 3 ****ing months, that's really helpful then, not.
seriously, how **** are mental health services here if that's the wait...
had my initial phone appointment just now, which I think went okay, but at the end they tell me there is a 3 month waiting list for therapy
3 ****ing months, that's really helpful then, not.seriously, how **** are mental health services here if that's the wait...
that's so ****. I don't think it's the services fault though, they're so overstretched that it's probably really difficult for them to accommodate everyone. Are there any charities/organisations in your area that offer free counselling? That could be an option whilst you wait for therapy. Hang in there 
Original post by SciFiBoy
for the love of ****.
had my initial phone appointment just now, which I think went okay, but at the end they tell me there is a 3 month waiting list for therapy 3 ****ing months, that's really helpful then, not.
seriously, how **** are mental health services here if that's the wait...
had my initial phone appointment just now, which I think went okay, but at the end they tell me there is a 3 month waiting list for therapy
3 ****ing months, that's really helpful then, not.seriously, how **** are mental health services here if that's the wait...
I'm really sorry to hear you have to wait that long, unfortunately I think the demand is such in most places that this is pretty standard. I had a 2 month wait for counselling when I had it and they told me if I wanted psychotherapy I'd have to wait SIX MONTHS. So naturally I chose the former.
