Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.
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Original post by LaBelleEtLeBete
I've done it, I've made an appointment to see the uni counselling team and am actually serious about talking. I'm going to beat this, my recovery is only going to get better... It's weird, I don't *want* to lose weight anymore, I want to stay at this (upper end of healthy) weight, I want to have boobs, I want to go out for meals, I want to have normal relationships and right now I'm feeling so positive about it all because I know if I believe in counselling and engage with it I will get better.
Seriously you guys, thank you so much for this thread, for answering my incredibly self-obsessed posts and all just being such amazing influences. You're all so inspirational to me and I know I wouldn't be taking this step without all of your stories and support. Thank you all!
to you all.
Seriously you guys, thank you so much for this thread, for answering my incredibly self-obsessed posts and all just being such amazing influences. You're all so inspirational to me and I know I wouldn't be taking this step without all of your stories and support. Thank you all!
to you all.So much win
go ,you LaBelle! xOriginal post by jazzykinks
You know you see all those flashy Michelin star chefs on tv? So, their meals would have terrified me a couple of years ago knowing how rich those dishes can potentially be. Yesterday, my boyfriend took me to Michael Caines' to celebrate our first anniversary. I ordered exactly what I wanted, enjoyed the bread basket and an unexpected appetizer.
Wow.
And the best part? He was so happy that I was enjoying my food rather than stressing out. He was so proud. We had an amazing evening, something that just wouldn't have ever happened before.
Remember. There is life after an eating disorder and it is the best thing ever. x
Wow.
And the best part? He was so happy that I was enjoying my food rather than stressing out. He was so proud. We had an amazing evening, something that just wouldn't have ever happened before.
Remember. There is life after an eating disorder and it is the best thing ever. x
And a happy days is in order here too, Jazzy!
(edited 11 years ago)
lost 11lbs in 8 days.. but feeling a bit better so on a mission to put some of it back on...
Original post by letsdothetimewarpagain
You can you can you cannnnnnnnnnn
I'm ruining my life.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm ruining my life.
PM me if you want but what's going on? you are a stronger person than you realise
Today I opened up to two of my friends about my eating disorder. I also told them my dad is getting angry with me often and getting more violent. They forced me to tell a member of staff and now because of it I have the option of open door counselling. The teacher I told said that there was a girl in the year above who was in the exact same position as me, and now she is in her first year at uni doing medicine and recovering (I want to study medicine as well). A senior member of staff wants to explain to my parents that I will need help recovering from my ED.
At first I was scared and truly regretting telling a teacher but now I am pleased. This s*** has been going on for too long and now I have the option of open door counselling which I have never been offered before.
So I just want this to be a positive example to anyone suffering and struggling to get by - telling someone is difficult and scary but there is hope if you do and it sure is better than suffering in silence.
I feel more positive now that I've told people, so if you're considering it, take that step and be brave.
Much love to you all x
At first I was scared and truly regretting telling a teacher but now I am pleased. This s*** has been going on for too long and now I have the option of open door counselling which I have never been offered before.
So I just want this to be a positive example to anyone suffering and struggling to get by - telling someone is difficult and scary but there is hope if you do and it sure is better than suffering in silence.
I feel more positive now that I've told people, so if you're considering it, take that step and be brave.
Much love to you all xUrgh. Something horrid happened to me today.
Had to nip in to college to get some paperwork for work and the benefit office, saying that I had a full time attendance when I attended - evidence and such. Just by chance I saw a tutor who helped me with my dyslexia and dyspraxia at the time (wouldn't of passed my A Levels without him), had a quick natter, and he closed the conversation by 'and hopefully next time we'll see you, you'll have put on half a stone - lunch?'
Politely declined.
I was upset that he'd mentioned it, but more because it was mentioned. He voiced what all other people think when they see me, whether they know me or not. Didn't really see myself being this thin as being so obvious... Bit muddled. Just hit home.
Had to nip in to college to get some paperwork for work and the benefit office, saying that I had a full time attendance when I attended - evidence and such. Just by chance I saw a tutor who helped me with my dyslexia and dyspraxia at the time (wouldn't of passed my A Levels without him), had a quick natter, and he closed the conversation by 'and hopefully next time we'll see you, you'll have put on half a stone - lunch?'
Politely declined.
I was upset that he'd mentioned it, but more because it was mentioned. He voiced what all other people think when they see me, whether they know me or not. Didn't really see myself being this thin as being so obvious... Bit muddled. Just hit home.
Next week i AM going to tell my tutor my anxiety is getting worse (because i'm now getting worried over tutorials and lectures), even if i half bottle it and end up telling him over email, its better than completely bottling it and not telling him at all. i don't want sympathy, i just want understanding and i DON'T want treating differently to the others in my tutor group.
Original post by .snowflake.
Next week i AM going to tell my tutor my anxiety is getting worse (because i'm now getting worried over tutorials and lectures), even if i half bottle it and end up telling him over email, its better than completely bottling it and not telling him at all. i don't want sympathy, i just want understanding and i DON'T want treating differently to the others in my tutor group.
Explain that to him and I'm sure he'll respect that
Had a really horrible fight with dad the other night. I literally went to the loo at like 2am, at which point he kicked off out of nowhere that there is no way I could need the loo at 2am. Anyway, I was feeling really ill and in pain which really randomly made me need to throw up, ran to the loo as you do, come out and he stands there screaming at me that I'd just made myself sick and the only reason I'd do that is if I were being a selfish brat and now I have to move out. Not what I need as he has ignored me since
Original post by Anonymous
Explain that to him and I'm sure he'll respect that
Had a really horrible fight with dad the other night. I literally went to the loo at like 2am, at which point he kicked off out of nowhere that there is no way I could need the loo at 2am. Anyway, I was feeling really ill and in pain which really randomly made me need to throw up, ran to the loo as you do, come out and he stands there screaming at me that I'd just made myself sick and the only reason I'd do that is if I were being a selfish brat and now I have to move out. Not what I need as he has ignored me since
Had a really horrible fight with dad the other night. I literally went to the loo at like 2am, at which point he kicked off out of nowhere that there is no way I could need the loo at 2am. Anyway, I was feeling really ill and in pain which really randomly made me need to throw up, ran to the loo as you do, come out and he stands there screaming at me that I'd just made myself sick and the only reason I'd do that is if I were being a selfish brat and now I have to move out. Not what I need as he has ignored me since
-huggles-. people are weird, this is why i don't like them.
Stuff
Spoiler
Original post by Anonymous
Explain that to him and I'm sure he'll respect that
Had a really horrible fight with dad the other night. I literally went to the loo at like 2am, at which point he kicked off out of nowhere that there is no way I could need the loo at 2am. Anyway, I was feeling really ill and in pain which really randomly made me need to throw up, ran to the loo as you do, come out and he stands there screaming at me that I'd just made myself sick and the only reason I'd do that is if I were being a selfish brat and now I have to move out. Not what I need as he has ignored me since
Had a really horrible fight with dad the other night. I literally went to the loo at like 2am, at which point he kicked off out of nowhere that there is no way I could need the loo at 2am. Anyway, I was feeling really ill and in pain which really randomly made me need to throw up, ran to the loo as you do, come out and he stands there screaming at me that I'd just made myself sick and the only reason I'd do that is if I were being a selfish brat and now I have to move out. Not what I need as he has ignored me since
*hugs* much love to you! Been told to move out by my dad too after I told him about my ed last week. Some people have no ****ing clue.
Original post by Anonymous
Explain that to him and I'm sure he'll respect that
Had a really horrible fight with dad the other night. I literally went to the loo at like 2am, at which point he kicked off out of nowhere that there is no way I could need the loo at 2am. Anyway, I was feeling really ill and in pain which really randomly made me need to throw up, ran to the loo as you do, come out and he stands there screaming at me that I'd just made myself sick and the only reason I'd do that is if I were being a selfish brat and now I have to move out. Not what I need as he has ignored me since
Had a really horrible fight with dad the other night. I literally went to the loo at like 2am, at which point he kicked off out of nowhere that there is no way I could need the loo at 2am. Anyway, I was feeling really ill and in pain which really randomly made me need to throw up, ran to the loo as you do, come out and he stands there screaming at me that I'd just made myself sick and the only reason I'd do that is if I were being a selfish brat and now I have to move out. Not what I need as he has ignored me since
I know it's hard to understand but your Dad is actually worried about you. He doesn't understand the illness and is angry at the illness for what it's done to his daughter. Unfortunately this is just the way he's coping with things at the moment, just as your E.D. helps as a way of coping with things for you.
If possible try and have a sit down with your dad, explain things for him a little so he can just get some understanding. Explain how him getting mad can actually make things worse for you. What I've found is get him involved in helping you can make him feel so much better. I bet he is frustrated that he can't seem to do anything. Work out a little plan between you guys - something that can help reassure him and can also work for you.
Original post by iamvick
I know it's hard to understand but your Dad is actually worried about you. He doesn't understand the illness and is angry at the illness for what it's done to his daughter. Unfortunately this is just the way he's coping with things at the moment, just as your E.D. helps as a way of coping with things for you.
If possible try and have a sit down with your dad, explain things for him a little so he can just get some understanding. Explain how him getting mad can actually make things worse for you. What I've found is get him involved in helping you can make him feel so much better. I bet he is frustrated that he can't seem to do anything. Work out a little plan between you guys - something that can help reassure him and can also work for you.
If possible try and have a sit down with your dad, explain things for him a little so he can just get some understanding. Explain how him getting mad can actually make things worse for you. What I've found is get him involved in helping you can make him feel so much better. I bet he is frustrated that he can't seem to do anything. Work out a little plan between you guys - something that can help reassure him and can also work for you.
Whoops, that anon was me and accidenlty annoned. I know he's worried but he also doesn't understand at all, he just brushes it off as a choice and it's so frustrating. It's got to the point where I'm cooking meals and binning them just so he thinks I've eaten, it's been a long time since I was this bad and I don't want to end up in hospital again.
Accidently getting kicked off the ED services hasn't helped although I haven't told him that. It's just easier if he feels like he can ignore it because other wise he just shouts and makes it worse
I have to perpetuate the notion that our angry mothers and fathers literally go mental at us because they're just so freaking FRUSTRATED.
Think about it. You are actually choosing to SIDE with the eating disorder/lie through omission/hide away and become more and more introverted from them as opposed to being up-front and honest. No WONDER their nerves are frayed beyond belief.
Think of it like this. Imagine your mother/father/best pal was getting more and more ill because they insisted on drinking bottles of poison. And when you try to tell them, "That's totally pointless, it serves no purpose and it's the opposite of what's logical and right!!" - as it quite rightly IS - they distance themselves even MORE from you, and drink DOUBLE the bottles of poison. You tell me - would YOU not want to shout through blind frustration?
ED is not our pal, it wants us dead, but the truth is, it's GREAT at making us think otherwise.
Think about it. You are actually choosing to SIDE with the eating disorder/lie through omission/hide away and become more and more introverted from them as opposed to being up-front and honest. No WONDER their nerves are frayed beyond belief.
Think of it like this. Imagine your mother/father/best pal was getting more and more ill because they insisted on drinking bottles of poison. And when you try to tell them, "That's totally pointless, it serves no purpose and it's the opposite of what's logical and right!!" - as it quite rightly IS - they distance themselves even MORE from you, and drink DOUBLE the bottles of poison. You tell me - would YOU not want to shout through blind frustration?
ED is not our pal, it wants us dead, but the truth is, it's GREAT at making us think otherwise.
Original post by TotoMimo
Think of it like this. Imagine your mother/father/best pal was getting more and more ill because they insisted on drinking bottles of poison. And when you try to tell them, "That's totally pointless, it serves no purpose and it's the opposite of what's logical and right!!" - as it quite rightly IS - they distance themselves even MORE from you, and drink DOUBLE the bottles of poison. You tell me - would YOU not want to shout through blind frustration?
This is an excellent analogy but sometimes, the parents must understand, that we cannot suddenly drop the bottles of poison all by ourselves. I think they need to realise that it's ok for their son/daughter to ask for help. That adds another level of frustration - they realise the disorder does exist but it is nothing tangible that they can identify with because it's just so illogical and unreasonable to them. They probably think, "what is this invisible force that's causing my son/daughter to starve themselves/make themselves sick?" That's why I hate my ED so much - it affects everyone around me just as much as it affects myself. Sometimes I wish I was totally alone so my suffering would not impend on my whole family.
out to those with family who don't know how to help. Please remember their frustration's only because they love you and are struggling to show they want your happiness back. Is it even possible to be fit and active as well as healthy in later recovery without remaining underlying issues, or am I just deluding myself?
(edited 11 years ago)
Need to eat tonight. I forced myself into breakfast this morning but I think if I don't eat dinner, I probably will pass out later tonight as I've got about a mile to walk to do some photography. Just got into from town and I had to lie down for ten minutes because I felt so ill.
Original post by jazzykinks
I really think you should be honest. You have more to lose if you don't tell her than if you do. Hopefully she'll be understanding. There's no point being in a relationship if food is creating a barrier between you two. It sounds like her attitude towards food is causing you a lot of stress and you're therefore not being yourself/comfortable in the relationship. Just be honest and tell her. x
Thanks Jazzy, it'll be quite hard because I think it's part of her religious values too but I'm hoping I can
x
Original post by sophiemay20
*hugs* much love to you! Been told to move out by my dad too after I told him about my ed last week. Some people have no ****ing clue.
Really sorry to hear you're having such a hard time with your family
It could be a shock reaction with him and he's acting impulsively...give it time to sink in. You're his daughter and a priority, stay strong *hugs*
My boyfriend broke up with me. Yes, the same boyfriend that whisked me off to a Michelin star restaurant the other day. I am devastated and I feel worthless. The only thing that is good out of this is that for the first time in my life, I am suffering and NOT taking it out on my food. At least I've learnt that restricting my intake etc. is not the way to go. I've come home for some TLC instead! x
