Should I suspend studies?
Hi, basically I've felt awful for months; I've not had more than about 3 hours sleep since October, I'm constantly stressed and there are frequent (2 or 3 a week) days where I feel genuinely unable to do anything as I feel so down.
I've missed a lot of lectures due to having bad days - which is terrible as I feel awful about myself already then missing lectures just adds to my self-loathing. I've always had issues with comfort eating, but it's been so much worse recently - on a 'bad day' I can easily eat around 4000 calories, and my total lack of willpower just makes me feel even worse about myself.
[aware I sound like a moaning prick, but don't really know how else to put it]
I've also had issues with alcohol throughout the length of time I've been drinking (started regularly when I was 13, 19 now) - had my stomach pumped twice. I love being drunk, and the sense of escape and I know that sounds awful but it makes so much sense to me. I'd say I drink 6 days a week on average, and drink 'heavily' (leaving me with no recollection) 2-3 times a week.
There's some other stuff as well, which I won't get into.
Basically, right at the end of the last term I went to see my tutor to talk about this, and the possibility of suspending studies and restarting 2nd year in september 2013. She said she was fine with it and that I should see a doctor.
I haven't seen a doctor, purely due to time constraints (I work 30 hours a week while at uni, and around 60 hours during holidays as I get minimum maintenance loan and no parental support), and I've deliberately avoided the word 'depression' during this post as I've got no diagnosis.
I really worry about if I were to suspend, as I feel now as though a break from uni is what I need - what if it just makes me sink further in?
I think my parents would be really angry, they already stopped giving me support when I told them I was gay, I'm worried they'll stop even talking to me if I suspend myself.
Next year on my course is supposed to be a year abroad, so if I were to suspend I'd have to start back with none of my friends, which I think could be problematic, as I'm really bad with new people. I've managed to build up a good network of friends, but I'm not sure I could do it again.
Basically, I want any advice anyone has, I saw another thread that mostly dealt with the effects of leaving uni and going back with parents - that isn't an option for me and I want to know if anyone's suspended and remained at the university town.
Sorry for the long read
tl;dr I'm considering suspending studies for mental health reasons, and would like any advice/stories anyone may have
I've missed a lot of lectures due to having bad days - which is terrible as I feel awful about myself already then missing lectures just adds to my self-loathing. I've always had issues with comfort eating, but it's been so much worse recently - on a 'bad day' I can easily eat around 4000 calories, and my total lack of willpower just makes me feel even worse about myself.
[aware I sound like a moaning prick, but don't really know how else to put it]
I've also had issues with alcohol throughout the length of time I've been drinking (started regularly when I was 13, 19 now) - had my stomach pumped twice. I love being drunk, and the sense of escape and I know that sounds awful but it makes so much sense to me. I'd say I drink 6 days a week on average, and drink 'heavily' (leaving me with no recollection) 2-3 times a week.
There's some other stuff as well, which I won't get into.
Basically, right at the end of the last term I went to see my tutor to talk about this, and the possibility of suspending studies and restarting 2nd year in september 2013. She said she was fine with it and that I should see a doctor.
I haven't seen a doctor, purely due to time constraints (I work 30 hours a week while at uni, and around 60 hours during holidays as I get minimum maintenance loan and no parental support), and I've deliberately avoided the word 'depression' during this post as I've got no diagnosis.
I really worry about if I were to suspend, as I feel now as though a break from uni is what I need - what if it just makes me sink further in?
I think my parents would be really angry, they already stopped giving me support when I told them I was gay, I'm worried they'll stop even talking to me if I suspend myself.
Next year on my course is supposed to be a year abroad, so if I were to suspend I'd have to start back with none of my friends, which I think could be problematic, as I'm really bad with new people. I've managed to build up a good network of friends, but I'm not sure I could do it again.
Basically, I want any advice anyone has, I saw another thread that mostly dealt with the effects of leaving uni and going back with parents - that isn't an option for me and I want to know if anyone's suspended and remained at the university town.
Sorry for the long read
tl;dr I'm considering suspending studies for mental health reasons, and would like any advice/stories anyone may have
bump
Hi there,
I've got depression and also had major problems with alcohol so I can relate, I'm also gay so I get that as well, sorry about your parents, my mum doesn't have an issue with it.
It seems you're in a sticky situation. I only dropped out of uni once (hoping my current episode doesn't lead to that) however the difference was there was that the university I was at was what caused my depression to flare up a lot so I left. In my opinion if the uni itself is causing the depression then suspending studies won't make a difference as you'd just be prolonging going back. If however uni is going well but other stuff is causing problems then maybe a break would be good.
However, what you've said about your parents means you're probably not happy at home either. My advice would be to see a doctor, inform the uni and see if you could get special consideration or something. So try and do some work and turn up to some lectures. I think maybe that would be the best option considering your home life but definitely see a doctor. If however it proves to much then maybe going home for a bit is the best option.
Hope this helps.
I've got depression and also had major problems with alcohol so I can relate, I'm also gay so I get that as well, sorry about your parents, my mum doesn't have an issue with it.
It seems you're in a sticky situation. I only dropped out of uni once (hoping my current episode doesn't lead to that) however the difference was there was that the university I was at was what caused my depression to flare up a lot so I left. In my opinion if the uni itself is causing the depression then suspending studies won't make a difference as you'd just be prolonging going back. If however uni is going well but other stuff is causing problems then maybe a break would be good.
However, what you've said about your parents means you're probably not happy at home either. My advice would be to see a doctor, inform the uni and see if you could get special consideration or something. So try and do some work and turn up to some lectures. I think maybe that would be the best option considering your home life but definitely see a doctor. If however it proves to much then maybe going home for a bit is the best option.
Hope this helps.
Original post by LesPaul_Player91
Hi there,
I've got depression and also had major problems with alcohol so I can relate, I'm also gay so I get that as well, sorry about your parents, my mum doesn't have an issue with it.
It seems you're in a sticky situation. I only dropped out of uni once (hoping my current episode doesn't lead to that) however the difference was there was that the university I was at was what caused my depression to flare up a lot so I left. In my opinion if the uni itself is causing the depression then suspending studies won't make a difference as you'd just be prolonging going back. If however uni is going well but other stuff is causing problems then maybe a break would be good.
However, what you've said about your parents means you're probably not happy at home either. My advice would be to see a doctor, inform the uni and see if you could get special consideration or something. So try and do some work and turn up to some lectures. I think maybe that would be the best option considering your home life but definitely see a doctor. If however it proves to much then maybe going home for a bit is the best option.
Hope this helps.
I've got depression and also had major problems with alcohol so I can relate, I'm also gay so I get that as well, sorry about your parents, my mum doesn't have an issue with it.
It seems you're in a sticky situation. I only dropped out of uni once (hoping my current episode doesn't lead to that) however the difference was there was that the university I was at was what caused my depression to flare up a lot so I left. In my opinion if the uni itself is causing the depression then suspending studies won't make a difference as you'd just be prolonging going back. If however uni is going well but other stuff is causing problems then maybe a break would be good.
However, what you've said about your parents means you're probably not happy at home either. My advice would be to see a doctor, inform the uni and see if you could get special consideration or something. So try and do some work and turn up to some lectures. I think maybe that would be the best option considering your home life but definitely see a doctor. If however it proves to much then maybe going home for a bit is the best option.
Hope this helps.
Thanks,
I wouldn't say University is the issue, I love my course but I'm just unable (at the moment) to do it.
If I were to suspend, I'd probably stay in the city I'm in, my friends are there and I have a job there.
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks,
I wouldn't say University is the issue, I love my course but I'm just unable (at the moment) to do it.
If I were to suspend, I'd probably stay in the city I'm in, my friends are there and I have a job there.
I wouldn't say University is the issue, I love my course but I'm just unable (at the moment) to do it.
If I were to suspend, I'd probably stay in the city I'm in, my friends are there and I have a job there.
Yeah, that sounds like a good plan
significantly reduce your drinking
significantly reduce your working hours
if you are still not sleeping after that, get sleeping tablets from gp
consider medication from gp
so you are in full time education and almost full time work at the same time? that is silly
in the holidays you work 25 more hours than an average full time worker
can't you see your problem?
significantly reduce your working hours
if you are still not sleeping after that, get sleeping tablets from gp
consider medication from gp
so you are in full time education and almost full time work at the same time? that is silly
in the holidays you work 25 more hours than an average full time worker
can't you see your problem?
Hi!
I'm a final year student and have been diagnosed with depression recently. I've been battling it, and denying it to myself for the past decade, but the pressure of final year and some personal issues just made it so much worse. I completely understand how it feels to have days when you're literally unable to do anything at all. I missed many of my deadlines due to those days
. What I think you could do is try to cut down on the drinking and clear your head in first place. If that's not possible, I think you need to go to rehab or at least ask your GP about anonymous group meetings or something like that. Also, I don't think it's wise to work as much as you do. I get very little financial help from my parents, and no grants or loans (only tuitino fees loan) as I'm an EU student, so I understand what it is to be broke, but there's no point putting yourself under so much pressure, while you still go to uni and have health problems. You said it was impossible for you to see a GP because of your work- talk to your boss then. Make them aware you're not well, and that you need some time off, even if it's just a day-two a week to go to a doctor/psychologist/counsellor etc.
You'll see how that goes. As for the suspension, I don't really know. Try to write a list of pros and cons, maybe? I'm currently contemplating on starting my final year again next year, and my worst fear is feeling like c**p when all my classmates, including my boyfriend, will be graduating together at the age of 22-23, while I'll be graduating a year later at the age of 25 (yeah, I'm already older than most on my course). You said you don't get on with new people, but this could all be due to your diagnosis, be it depression, anxiety or something else. Besides, you'd be surrounded by lots of new people on your year abroad as well. I've been on a year abroad while suffering mild depression at the time and it really did affect my time there in a bad way- not that I don't have good memories, but I wish I didn't have so many bad ones. It's a one-off opportunity in your life and it would be a shame not to be able to make the most out of it. First time I had a day like you described, when I couldn't do anything, while abroad and it was horrible. So I honestly believe that the sooner you get help the better.
It's so sad you parents aren't on your side at this difficult time. I don't mean to be harsh, but parents/people like that should seriously wise up! And frankly, if they're not helping you out already, they have little or no say in what you decide to do, don't you think? They have no right to say in your decisions if they turned their backs on you like this. You're 19 and it's terrible you can't turn to them for financial support, let alone mental one. It would be different if they couldn't, but they obviously could! Are there any other relatives you could talk to about this? Or close friends?
Sorry about the long reply, but I guess my bottom line would be- cut the drinks down, stay in reality to be able to face it and do NOT stay alone in this. Talk to as many people as you can for both relief and help. That is- your GP, a tutor you feel could help, a counsellor/psychologist, anonymous group, your boss, a good friend/a supportive relative.
I hope you get better sooner rather than later! Good luck! x
I'm a final year student and have been diagnosed with depression recently. I've been battling it, and denying it to myself for the past decade, but the pressure of final year and some personal issues just made it so much worse. I completely understand how it feels to have days when you're literally unable to do anything at all. I missed many of my deadlines due to those days
. What I think you could do is try to cut down on the drinking and clear your head in first place. If that's not possible, I think you need to go to rehab or at least ask your GP about anonymous group meetings or something like that. Also, I don't think it's wise to work as much as you do. I get very little financial help from my parents, and no grants or loans (only tuitino fees loan) as I'm an EU student, so I understand what it is to be broke, but there's no point putting yourself under so much pressure, while you still go to uni and have health problems. You said it was impossible for you to see a GP because of your work- talk to your boss then. Make them aware you're not well, and that you need some time off, even if it's just a day-two a week to go to a doctor/psychologist/counsellor etc. You'll see how that goes. As for the suspension, I don't really know. Try to write a list of pros and cons, maybe? I'm currently contemplating on starting my final year again next year, and my worst fear is feeling like c**p when all my classmates, including my boyfriend, will be graduating together at the age of 22-23, while I'll be graduating a year later at the age of 25 (yeah, I'm already older than most on my course). You said you don't get on with new people, but this could all be due to your diagnosis, be it depression, anxiety or something else. Besides, you'd be surrounded by lots of new people on your year abroad as well. I've been on a year abroad while suffering mild depression at the time and it really did affect my time there in a bad way- not that I don't have good memories, but I wish I didn't have so many bad ones. It's a one-off opportunity in your life and it would be a shame not to be able to make the most out of it. First time I had a day like you described, when I couldn't do anything, while abroad and it was horrible. So I honestly believe that the sooner you get help the better.
It's so sad you parents aren't on your side at this difficult time. I don't mean to be harsh, but parents/people like that should seriously wise up! And frankly, if they're not helping you out already, they have little or no say in what you decide to do, don't you think? They have no right to say in your decisions if they turned their backs on you like this. You're 19 and it's terrible you can't turn to them for financial support, let alone mental one. It would be different if they couldn't, but they obviously could! Are there any other relatives you could talk to about this? Or close friends?
Sorry about the long reply, but I guess my bottom line would be- cut the drinks down, stay in reality to be able to face it and do NOT stay alone in this. Talk to as many people as you can for both relief and help. That is- your GP, a tutor you feel could help, a counsellor/psychologist, anonymous group, your boss, a good friend/a supportive relative.
I hope you get better sooner rather than later! Good luck
! x
