Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.
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Guys I really need some advice from someone about metabolism/weight maintenance etc but it'll be triggering and I'm going to mention numbers so please please don't read if you're feeling delicate!
Spoiler
Sentiment, at my worst I was maintaining on 750 a day... My body was utterly ***ked, and now yours is too.
I obviously refuse to condone you doing this to yourself because you're letting the ED rampant to kill you, but I will answer the question; your body has decided you literally have nothing, not even EMERGENCY tissue in your body, to lose any longer, and has stifled your metabolic rate to "crisis/hibernate" mode.
Seek GP counselling NOW honey.
I obviously refuse to condone you doing this to yourself because you're letting the ED rampant to kill you, but I will answer the question; your body has decided you literally have nothing, not even EMERGENCY tissue in your body, to lose any longer, and has stifled your metabolic rate to "crisis/hibernate" mode.
Seek GP counselling NOW honey.
Original post by sentiment
Guys I really need some advice from someone about metabolism/weight maintenance etc but it'll be triggering and I'm going to mention numbers so please please don't read if you're feeling delicate!
Spoiler
-glomps- cupcake, you're eating so little that they definitely will NOT think that nothing is wrong, and if they do, they want shooting imho. Clearly something isnt right if you've gone from seeing your GP to seeing a specialist so quickly (well, 6 weeks is quick for the NHS). If i could kidnap you, wrap you in the snuggliest blanket ever and feed you soup until the horrid voices go away, i would - i KNOW that wouldn't fix it, but its the thought that counts. Do York know you're really, really, really not very well at all?
Does appetite disappear when you have an eating disorder? I always imaginged that people with anorexia are starving hungry but restrict; but I read an article where appetite disappears. I am interested in doing my dissertation on the subject.
Is this physical, or a symptom of depression do you think Toto?
Is this physical, or a symptom of depression do you think Toto?
Original post by sentiment
Guys I really need some advice from someone about metabolism/weight maintenance etc but it'll be triggering and I'm going to mention numbers so please please don't read if you're feeling delicate!
Spoiler
Oh my God.
I will not judge you but what you have written is VERY worrying. The reason why you're not losing weight is because your body is in crisis mode. That number of kcals doesn't even let your brain function properly.
Spoiler
I had to rep you, Jazz; that post was spot-on.
Truth be told as anorexia weakens you, it also inhibits you mentally. You starve the mind too, and soon you become almost autonomous... A slave to the behaviour. You lack even the most basic energy mentally, to reason or query your actions.
It dumbs and dulls the psyche. This is why anorexics are often quick-tempered and blinkered in their opinions.
Truth be told as anorexia weakens you, it also inhibits you mentally. You starve the mind too, and soon you become almost autonomous... A slave to the behaviour. You lack even the most basic energy mentally, to reason or query your actions.
It dumbs and dulls the psyche. This is why anorexics are often quick-tempered and blinkered in their opinions.
Original post by TotoMimo
I had to rep you, Jazz; that post was spot-on.
Truth be told as anorexia weakens you, it also inhibits you mentally. You starve the mind too, and soon you become almost autonomous... A slave to the behaviour. You lack even the most basic energy mentally, to reason or query your actions.
It dumbs and dulls the psyche. This is why anorexics are often quick-tempered and blinkered in their opinions.
Truth be told as anorexia weakens you, it also inhibits you mentally. You starve the mind too, and soon you become almost autonomous... A slave to the behaviour. You lack even the most basic energy mentally, to reason or query your actions.
It dumbs and dulls the psyche. This is why anorexics are often quick-tempered and blinkered in their opinions.
and probably explains why our ability to remember stuff is absolutely shot to bits.
Thanks for your replies Toto, Snowflake and Jazzy. Really appreciate your input and honesty. I think you hit the nail on the head saying I've become a slave to it Toto - it's been so long now that this behaviour seems normal to me when it so obviously isn't. I've got my next appointment on Tuesday so we'll see how it goes and hopefully things will be on the up soon. It's difficult to see it as such but I guess in a way it's a good thing that the weight's stopped coming off.
Snowflake - my uni do know now since I had to apply for extensions on all the essays I had due after Christmas. There's not a lot they can do to help at this stage really and I know I'm lucky to still be here, so just trying to get through this term and not fail anything really! And the soup sounds wonderful :P xx
Snowflake - my uni do know now since I had to apply for extensions on all the essays I had due after Christmas. There's not a lot they can do to help at this stage really and I know I'm lucky to still be here, so just trying to get through this term and not fail anything really! And the soup sounds wonderful :P xx
Original post by sentiment
Thanks for your replies Toto, Snowflake and Jazzy. Really appreciate your input and honesty. I think you hit the nail on the head saying I've become a slave to it Toto - it's been so long now that this behaviour seems normal to me when it so obviously isn't. I've got my next appointment on Tuesday so we'll see how it goes and hopefully things will be on the up soon. It's difficult to see it as such but I guess in a way it's a good thing that the weight's stopped coming off.
Snowflake - my uni do know now since I had to apply for extensions on all the essays I had due after Christmas. There's not a lot they can do to help at this stage really and I know I'm lucky to still be here, so just trying to get through this term and not fail anything really! And the soup sounds wonderful :P xx
Snowflake - my uni do know now since I had to apply for extensions on all the essays I had due after Christmas. There's not a lot they can do to help at this stage really and I know I'm lucky to still be here, so just trying to get through this term and not fail anything really! And the soup sounds wonderful :P xx
Good, atleast they know.
Oh god I'm so upset right now 
alone freezing in my house, ill with lack of diabetes control and my friends have all gone out for a meal. I had to miss it because anorexia was too strong for me again. This isn't living
I miss having freedom. This is hell.
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alone freezing in my house, ill with lack of diabetes control and my friends have all gone out for a meal. I had to miss it because anorexia was too strong for me again. This isn't living I miss having freedom. This is hell.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Disenchanted, re-read your post.
"I HAD to miss it."
No, you didn't, sweetheart. You chose it. Anorexia, and by extension all mental illnesses, are merely an internal set of incorrect reasonings and we have to accept every T-junction we reach can be met with defiance -either you defy living, or you defy your ED.
Either way the conflict is there... We will always be "betraying" one or the other. But when you quantify it... You can either betray a broken set of reasoning in our own mind, our betray our lives, friends and family.
When you learn to stop, think, and make this logical choice every time these situations arise, when you sit and think, "Do I betray my illness, or betray my healthy life?" -you'll find if you take that time you far, far more often end up making the correct choice. X
"I HAD to miss it."
No, you didn't, sweetheart. You chose it. Anorexia, and by extension all mental illnesses, are merely an internal set of incorrect reasonings and we have to accept every T-junction we reach can be met with defiance -either you defy living, or you defy your ED.
Either way the conflict is there... We will always be "betraying" one or the other. But when you quantify it... You can either betray a broken set of reasoning in our own mind, our betray our lives, friends and family.
When you learn to stop, think, and make this logical choice every time these situations arise, when you sit and think, "Do I betray my illness, or betray my healthy life?" -you'll find if you take that time you far, far more often end up making the correct choice. X
Original post by TotoMimo
Disenchanted, re-read your post.
"I HAD to miss it."
No, you didn't, sweetheart. You chose it. Anorexia, and by extension all mental illnesses, are merely an internal set of incorrect reasonings and we have to accept every T-junction we reach can be met with defiance -either you defy living, or you defy your ED.
Either way the conflict is there... We will always be "betraying" one or the other. But when you quantify it... You can either betray a broken set of reasoning in our own mind, our betray our lives, friends and family.
When you learn to stop, think, and make this logical choice every time these situations arise, when you sit and think, "Do I betray my illness, or betray my healthy life?" -you'll find if you take that time you far, far more often end up making the correct choice. X
"I HAD to miss it."
No, you didn't, sweetheart. You chose it. Anorexia, and by extension all mental illnesses, are merely an internal set of incorrect reasonings and we have to accept every T-junction we reach can be met with defiance -either you defy living, or you defy your ED.
Either way the conflict is there... We will always be "betraying" one or the other. But when you quantify it... You can either betray a broken set of reasoning in our own mind, our betray our lives, friends and family.
When you learn to stop, think, and make this logical choice every time these situations arise, when you sit and think, "Do I betray my illness, or betray my healthy life?" -you'll find if you take that time you far, far more often end up making the correct choice. X
Thank you so much. This helped lift me a bit. You're absolutely right and I need to fight harder x
Original post by TotoMimo
Disenchanted, re-read your post.
"I HAD to miss it."
No, you didn't, sweetheart. You chose it. Anorexia, and by extension all mental illnesses, are merely an internal set of incorrect reasonings and we have to accept every T-junction we reach can be met with defiance -either you defy living, or you defy your ED.
Either way the conflict is there... We will always be "betraying" one or the other. But when you quantify it... You can either betray a broken set of reasoning in our own mind, our betray our lives, friends and family.
When you learn to stop, think, and make this logical choice every time these situations arise, when you sit and think, "Do I betray my illness, or betray my healthy life?" -you'll find if you take that time you far, far more often end up making the correct choice. X
"I HAD to miss it."
No, you didn't, sweetheart. You chose it. Anorexia, and by extension all mental illnesses, are merely an internal set of incorrect reasonings and we have to accept every T-junction we reach can be met with defiance -either you defy living, or you defy your ED.
Either way the conflict is there... We will always be "betraying" one or the other. But when you quantify it... You can either betray a broken set of reasoning in our own mind, our betray our lives, friends and family.
When you learn to stop, think, and make this logical choice every time these situations arise, when you sit and think, "Do I betray my illness, or betray my healthy life?" -you'll find if you take that time you far, far more often end up making the correct choice. X
Forever forming the words my heart feels but my brain can't quite put together. You know, you've probably saved my life..at least like, two times.
Original post by TotoMimo
When you learn to stop, think, and make this logical choice every time these situations arise, when you sit and think, "Do I betray my illness, or betray my healthy life?" -you'll find if you take that time you far, far more often end up making the correct choice. X
When you learn to stop, think, and make this logical choice every time these situations arise, when you sit and think, "Do I betray my illness, or betray my healthy life?" -you'll find if you take that time you far, far more often end up making the correct choice. X
Toto, have you ever considered doing speaking on the subject of eating disorder awareness? Your words really are inspiring and truthful
I wish I had been able to make the logical choice of having a healthy life rather than being subservient to my illness. If I had I wouldn't be an almost 18 year old male who is out of school, miserable, lonely and who is so weak I frequently struggle climbing the stairs;, but a lively 'normal' 17 year old boy who could have had fun with his friends, rather than dedicating his life to studying, dieting and exercise to the point of collapse; losing not just weight, but also my friends and entire prospects On a separate note my appointment is in an hour and a half where they will be changing me over to Olanzapine and weighing me. I know I have gained, but I don't know how much
Ah well, wait and see.(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by JLW95
Toto, have you ever considered doing speaking on the subject of eating disorder awareness? Your words really are inspiring and truthful I wish I had been able to make the logical choice of having a healthy life rather than being subservient to my illness. If I had I wouldn't be an almost 18 year old male who is out of school, miserable, lonely and who is so weak I frequently struggle climbing the stairs;, but a lively 'normal' 17 year old boy who could have had fun with his friends, rather than dedicating his life to studying, dieting and exercise to the point of collapse; losing not just weight, but also my friends and entire prospects
On a separate note my appointment is in an hour and a half where they will be changing me over to Olanzapine and weighing me. I know I have gained, but I don't know how much Ah well, wait and see.
I wish I had been able to make the logical choice of having a healthy life rather than being subservient to my illness. If I had I wouldn't be an almost 18 year old male who is out of school, miserable, lonely and who is so weak I frequently struggle climbing the stairs;, but a lively 'normal' 17 year old boy who could have had fun with his friends, rather than dedicating his life to studying, dieting and exercise to the point of collapse; losing not just weight, but also my friends and entire prospects On a separate note my appointment is in an hour and a half where they will be changing me over to Olanzapine and weighing me. I know I have gained, but I don't know how much
Ah well, wait and see.I agree; Toto would inspire so many people! Absolute star.
Also best of luck for your appointment today, hope all goes well x
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Original post by x-Disenchanted-x
Thank you
I full agree that Toto is an inspiring person. Without him, and of course not forgetting the other brave people open to talk about their struggles I feel like I would have felt ever more isolated than I am nowApart from an anxiety attack in Tesco after the hospital it went alright. My weight has stayed exactly the same (bang on to the point of a kilogram) since my last appointment two weeks ago, and with it remaining the same for the two prior to that means that my weight seems to have finally stabilised, and I am no longer losing; but blood pressure and pulse are down. The doctor has prescribed Olanzapine to be taken in addition to Fluoxetine, with the Fluoxetine to be take in the morning and the Olanzapine to be taken at night as apparently it does a fab job of knocking you out. I think the next few weeks are going to be interesting
I just want to state how incredibly proud, honoured and beloved I feel right now. You've given me such an incredible buzz, a real feeling of pride in my life that such a simultaneously tiny and colossal internal battle can touch so many people in so many different ways. That something as fundamental as food and the way we view it - basic fuel for the body to stay alive - can be skewed to the point where we scrutinise it relentlessly, breaking our spirits in the process.
Imagine we viewed another absolutely critical process in the same way. To the point where we were killing ourselves. What do humans need? Food, hydration, and oxygen. So imagine scrutinising your breathing, of all things. Imagine for a second we counted every breath we took, decided we'd breathed too often today, so tomorrow we'd take half the breaths we did today. Imagine holding your breath until your body was about to faint, then allowing a tiny breath inwards, then holding your breath again.
What happens? You get so out of breath that your chest hurts, you gasp for air, struggling to stay upright, and everyone around you asks what the hell you're doing to yourself. But you reply, "I know it's stupid, and makes no sense, but I can't stop it now. This is my life."
Sounds ridiculous but thinking about the fundamental needs of the human body, this is 100% the same thing as anorexia nervosa is... albeit with one of the OTHER cornerstone fuels of the human body.
Keep fighting, and keep questioning your Eating Disorder. DISORDER. Question the disorder because it is inherently WRONG, and you are suffocating your body. You too are holding your breath until your body wants to faint!
Imagine we viewed another absolutely critical process in the same way. To the point where we were killing ourselves. What do humans need? Food, hydration, and oxygen. So imagine scrutinising your breathing, of all things. Imagine for a second we counted every breath we took, decided we'd breathed too often today, so tomorrow we'd take half the breaths we did today. Imagine holding your breath until your body was about to faint, then allowing a tiny breath inwards, then holding your breath again.
What happens? You get so out of breath that your chest hurts, you gasp for air, struggling to stay upright, and everyone around you asks what the hell you're doing to yourself. But you reply, "I know it's stupid, and makes no sense, but I can't stop it now. This is my life."
Sounds ridiculous but thinking about the fundamental needs of the human body, this is 100% the same thing as anorexia nervosa is... albeit with one of the OTHER cornerstone fuels of the human body.
Keep fighting, and keep questioning your Eating Disorder. DISORDER. Question the disorder because it is inherently WRONG, and you are suffocating your body. You too are holding your breath until your body wants to faint!
Is there anyone in this thread with bullimia or a history of bullimia or are you all anorexics?
Could really do with someone to talk to.
Could really do with someone to talk to.
Original post by Anonymous
Is there anyone in this thread with bullimia or a history of bullimia or are you all anorexics?
Could really do with someone to talk to.
Could really do with someone to talk to.
I dont know what I am to be honest :/ But I throw up quite often now
whenever I lose controlOriginal post by Anonymous
Is there anyone in this thread with bullimia or a history of bullimia or are you all anorexics?
Could really do with someone to talk to.
Could really do with someone to talk to.
We tend towards anorexia nervosa/ EDNOS, but there are a few BED sufferers on here. Is anyone else really suffering with the cold? I'm in absolute agony with my ankles/ elbow this evening. Slightly worried with the amount of snow we have had in the past few hours that my tesco delivery won't arrive. Which means i'm living off toast until it does.
