Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.
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I never watch ED shows anymore, I think I've tried to watch something like once and I'm not sure why but it made me a bit angry. I have total empathy for anyone that struggles so I don't know why I felt that way. I guess it may be frustration? Having to sit there and see it but be able to have no impact whatsoever, perhaps a control issue.
Original post by dani_1991
You sound good in yourself though, the fact that you're noticing the positives is great - and who doesn't love more energy hey! 
Your 'overeat/undereat' tendencies are all you, so if you stay strong and keep battling through, I'm sure in no time you'll get through them! They wont go overnight, and it will no doubt be difficult, but you can do it Just think of the energy you'll have when you're eating better, the ease of every day living - from walking up a set of stairs to having a family/friends get together. Less panicking about whether you'll be made to eat! And you seem to enjoy working out, it'll be so much nicer when you've got energy, you might even enjoy it more. I know if I go to the gym and I'm tired from having not slept, its a real struggle, whereas if I'm alert and ready to go, it's so much more enjoyable. Maybe that one's just me!
Either way, I'm really glad to hear you're getting better. Keep it up chick
Your 'overeat/undereat' tendencies are all you, so if you stay strong and keep battling through, I'm sure in no time you'll get through them! They wont go overnight, and it will no doubt be difficult, but you can do it
Just think of the energy you'll have when you're eating better, the ease of every day living - from walking up a set of stairs to having a family/friends get together. Less panicking about whether you'll be made to eat! And you seem to enjoy working out, it'll be so much nicer when you've got energy, you might even enjoy it more. I know if I go to the gym and I'm tired from having not slept, its a real struggle, whereas if I'm alert and ready to go, it's so much more enjoyable. Maybe that one's just me!Either way, I'm really glad to hear you're getting better. Keep it up chick
Yea, its deffo a marathon and not a race. If im honest im trying to beat it mostly so i can study social work, because i really want to and I don't want this problem to ruin it. But yea its not easy when you live months off nothing your body craves food so much its almost impossible to stop. And yea I do really love it, although it was what started the problems with food, hasn't stopped me enjoying it. Find it a help with depression too.
Just gotta hope im determined enough to beat it again
I watched the documentary too and I don't usually get triggered, but I felt horrible after if im honest. It was hard to watch and watch people who are in the same kinda situation as you. I found they made it looked a lot easier that it is if im honest. Like I find it all quite scary and worrying. Had only had an hard appointment with a psychologist and counsellor a couple of hours earlier and i just found the documentary didn't show how hard all that stuff is.
But for people who don't have experience with mental health it might of been good, trying to break the stereotypes.
But for people who don't have experience with mental health it might of been good, trying to break the stereotypes.
Original post by dani_1991
Well (not that this helps really) we are all here for you 100%. I know Mel and Toto always have the ability to make me smile, and even if they are online friends, friends are friends! And we care about you so don't forget that! If you feel upset, come and post on here! But try and find something that makes you happy. I know it can be really hard to get out of that 'dark' funk, where you just feel like crying all the time. Sometimes, you just need a good cry and to feel sorry for yourself, but it's not healthy all the time, you need to try and pull yourself out. If no one else is around to help, then try doing it yourself. You are, after all, stuck in the prison of your own mind at the moment! You CAN get yourself happy, and keep remembering that. Instead of thinking about how sad you are, try and clutch at the happy things and happy times. Plan things to look forwards to - a sleep over, a trip to see one of your mates far away?, a birthday party you're going to? Little milestones to keep you above water, not drowning. Even if it's just treading water for now, it will do till you're able to stay above water without trying
I've found forcing myself to go out and be with other people when I feel like just sitting inside and crying really helpful sometimes when I'm at uni. I find it works in two ways. A) I not want to show my mates that I'm really upset so I pretend I'm not and by doing that I start to actually feel a bit better because I stop wanting to cry b) By being with other people, they cheer me up because I have fun with them.
Maybe try that? Even if it's just hanging out with your mum/dad if your friends arent around? You said your mum doesnt like you being upset, so try and pretend to be happy. You never know, you might start feeling happier?
Well (not that this helps really) we are all here for you 100%. I know Mel and Toto always have the ability to make me smile, and even if they are online friends, friends are friends! And we care about you so don't forget that! If you feel upset, come and post on here! But try and find something that makes you happy. I know it can be really hard to get out of that 'dark' funk, where you just feel like crying all the time. Sometimes, you just need a good cry and to feel sorry for yourself, but it's not healthy all the time, you need to try and pull yourself out. If no one else is around to help, then try doing it yourself. You are, after all, stuck in the prison of your own mind at the moment! You CAN get yourself happy, and keep remembering that. Instead of thinking about how sad you are, try and clutch at the happy things and happy times. Plan things to look forwards to - a sleep over, a trip to see one of your mates far away?, a birthday party you're going to? Little milestones to keep you above water, not drowning. Even if it's just treading water for now, it will do till you're able to stay above water without trying I've found forcing myself to go out and be with other people when I feel like just sitting inside and crying really helpful sometimes when I'm at uni. I find it works in two ways. A) I not want to show my mates that I'm really upset so I pretend I'm not and by doing that I start to actually feel a bit better because I stop wanting to cry b) By being with other people, they cheer me up because I have fun with them.
Maybe try that? Even if it's just hanging out with your mum/dad if your friends arent around? You said your mum doesnt like you being upset, so try and pretend to be happy. You never know, you might start feeling happier?
Thank you so much hun
means a lot. I feel like if I go and see my mates from uni, I'm imposing myself on them. I hate what depression does, it just makes you feel like such a burden and so worthless. It's a lot easier at uni for me because all my friends are there. I'm of the same thinking: if I feel upset at uni, I'll go and socialise because I'll feel better. It's just really lonely where I live. My mum and dad are the source of my problems at the moment -- my dad more so. Last night he basically told me I was ugly and worthless and, despite being on my way to graduating, I'll never get a job because of my piercings and tattoos. I left the room and he proceeded to swear at me. I just want to leave this madhouse!
Original post by jazzykinks
Thank you so much hun means a lot. I feel like if I go and see my mates from uni, I'm imposing myself on them. I hate what depression does, it just makes you feel like such a burden and so worthless. It's a lot easier at uni for me because all my friends are there. I'm of the same thinking: if I feel upset at uni, I'll go and socialise because I'll feel better. It's just really lonely where I live. My mum and dad are the source of my problems at the moment -- my dad more so. Last night he basically told me I was ugly and worthless and, despite being on my way to graduating, I'll never get a job because of my piercings and tattoos. I left the room and he proceeded to swear at me. I just want to leave this madhouse!
means a lot. I feel like if I go and see my mates from uni, I'm imposing myself on them. I hate what depression does, it just makes you feel like such a burden and so worthless. It's a lot easier at uni for me because all my friends are there. I'm of the same thinking: if I feel upset at uni, I'll go and socialise because I'll feel better. It's just really lonely where I live. My mum and dad are the source of my problems at the moment -- my dad more so. Last night he basically told me I was ugly and worthless and, despite being on my way to graduating, I'll never get a job because of my piercings and tattoos. I left the room and he proceeded to swear at me. I just want to leave this madhouse!He sounds like a first class w***er if I'm honest! To quote Pink (sorry to say I'm a huge fan) 'if you feel like you are nothing you're f***in perfect'
Screw him if he thinks you're not, I'm sure you're a great person. Talking to you now and seeing te way you talk in other posts you seem like a really lovely person. It's crap that your home life is so horrible, I wish there was something I could say or do! Just try not to let him/them get to you I guess
I hope the summer speeds passed for you! And until then, we are all here for you and I have insomnia, so I'm pretty much here all the time 
post whenever you need! One of us will be here even if its to remind you that you're lovely and he should go screw himself 
Original post by YogaQueen
Yea, its deffo a marathon and not a race. If im honest im trying to beat it mostly so i can study social work, because i really want to and I don't want this problem to ruin it. But yea its not easy when you live months off nothing your body craves food so much its almost impossible to stop. And yea I do really love it, although it was what started the problems with food, hasn't stopped me enjoying it. Find it a help with depression too.
Just gotta hope im determined enough to beat it again
Just gotta hope im determined enough to beat it again
If you've done it once, I'm rooting for you to be strong enough to do it again
keep us posted- we are all supporting you! Think of us as your online cheerleaders and since I can't find a cheer leading smilie, here's the nearest I can find: 
That one on top is you
I wish I could see food as something other than an evil plate of calories first, and something delicious second
Original post by dani_1991
He sounds like a first class w***er if I'm honest! To quote Pink (sorry to say I'm a huge fan) 'if you feel like you are nothing you're f***in perfect'
Screw him if he thinks you're not, I'm sure you're a great person. Talking to you now and seeing te way you talk in other posts you seem like a really lovely person. It's crap that your home life is so horrible, I wish there was something I could say or do! Just try not to let him/them get to you I guess I hope the summer speeds passed for you! And until then, we are all here for you and I have insomnia, so I'm pretty much here all the time post whenever you need! One of us will be here even if its to remind you that you're lovely and he should go screw himself
Screw him if he thinks you're not, I'm sure you're a great person. Talking to you now and seeing te way you talk in other posts you seem like a really lovely person. It's crap that your home life is so horrible, I wish there was something I could say or do! Just try not to let him/them get to you I guess
I hope the summer speeds passed for you! And until then, we are all here for you and I have insomnia, so I'm pretty much here all the time post whenever you need! One of us will be here even if its to remind you that you're lovely and he should go screw himself Yeah, couldn't have put it better myself! Obviously he knows I was anorexic and have always had body issues but now he's just being verbally abusive on purpose. He's just horrible. I'm finally okay with who I am, only for him to go and spout abuse at me. Thanks
join the insomnia club! Mine is pretty bad...still awake at 6am this morning! xOriginal post by jazzykinks
Yeah, couldn't have put it better myself! Obviously he knows I was anorexic and have always had body issues but now he's just being verbally abusive on purpose. He's just horrible. I'm finally okay with who I am, only for him to go and spout abuse at me. Thanks join the insomnia club! Mine is pretty bad...still awake at 6am this morning! x
join the insomnia club! Mine is pretty bad...still awake at 6am this morning! xSee, it's like we're meant to be friends. All here for you buddy
I'm glad you're managing to not let him get to you!It warms my heart how people are so supportive and genuinely caring towards one and other on this thread. It's only an internet forum, granted, yet people take time out of their every day lives to enquire as to the well-being of others and try to give encouraging words and help. If I'm ever doubting the general consensus of human goodness, this thread reignites my hope.
Original post by MelissaJayne
It warms my heart how people are so supportive and genuinely caring towards one and other on this thread. It's only an internet forum, granted, yet people take time out of their every day lives to enquire as to the well-being of others and try to give encouraging words and help. If I'm ever doubting the general consensus of human goodness, this thread reignites my hope.
LET ME REP YOU DAMN IT. The thought was there.
Original post by dani_1991
LET ME REP YOU DAMN IT. The thought was there.
s'what counts innit pumpkin. NUFF LOVE. X
I too am moved when people lump together and help out no matter what; it can turn weeks and weeks of moping and moaning into a veritable love-in!
And I hate to be the hammer of Odin sometimes, but someone needs to be. You cannot shirk your responsibilities!
Earlier there was a chat on a programme regarding an ED-sufferer. Some people said they turned it off when it got too intense. I have reached the point in recovery that psychotherapists reveal to their patients - "triggering" or "this is too triggering for me", I've realised, is merely excusing yourself from the situations that, if you would face up to, could help you the MOST.
A great analogy was "Imagine you were an intense arachnophobic. You see a spider and you run away. You close your eyes, kill the spider, you bolt." Now, conditioning yourself to see that the spider is a creature like you is impossible, because you've just smooshed it and run a mile. Now imagine the therapist is holding the spider, but saying for you just to open your eyes. Not get into a bath full of them, not french kiss one, just open your eyes and LOOK AT IT. Would this be WAY too much to ask for?
It's the same thing with us. Nobody's telling you to eat ten Black Forest Trifles. Nobody is forcing it down your neck, nor is anyone tasering you if you should reach for a taste of one. But to bolt whenever the therapist, whenever a random German chef, whenever your granny says "Black Forest Trifle" - is that not maybe the first thing to address?
And I hate to be the hammer of Odin sometimes, but someone needs to be. You cannot shirk your responsibilities!
Earlier there was a chat on a programme regarding an ED-sufferer. Some people said they turned it off when it got too intense. I have reached the point in recovery that psychotherapists reveal to their patients - "triggering" or "this is too triggering for me", I've realised, is merely excusing yourself from the situations that, if you would face up to, could help you the MOST.
A great analogy was "Imagine you were an intense arachnophobic. You see a spider and you run away. You close your eyes, kill the spider, you bolt." Now, conditioning yourself to see that the spider is a creature like you is impossible, because you've just smooshed it and run a mile. Now imagine the therapist is holding the spider, but saying for you just to open your eyes. Not get into a bath full of them, not french kiss one, just open your eyes and LOOK AT IT. Would this be WAY too much to ask for?
It's the same thing with us. Nobody's telling you to eat ten Black Forest Trifles. Nobody is forcing it down your neck, nor is anyone tasering you if you should reach for a taste of one. But to bolt whenever the therapist, whenever a random German chef, whenever your granny says "Black Forest Trifle" - is that not maybe the first thing to address?
Original post by porridgeandrhi
Alsoo.. did any of you watch "Don't Call Me Crazy" last night on BBC Three?
Alsoo.. did any of you watch "Don't Call Me Crazy" last night on BBC Three?
I watched it on iplayer a couple days ago.. the treatment for the ED sufferer just seemed so odd?! I've seen a couple documentaries on Rhodes Farm & the clinic-clincics, but what they were doing just seemed a world apart..
Spoiler
Original post by Anonymous
I watched it on iplayer a couple days ago.. the treatment for the ED sufferer just seemed so odd?! I've seen a couple documentaries on Rhodes Farm & the clinic-clincics, but what they were doing just seemed a world apart..
Spoiler
I know a couple of people who've been at Rhodes Farm.. Both completely relapsed after; they said it was awful and literally just focussed on weight restoration :/ The treatment looked about the same as what I have experienced, don't know if it's the right way per se, but works for some people. And it sounds like you're in a tricky place right now, I hope you can find a happy medium soon
http://www.liberonetwork.com/fitspiration-good-bad-and-ugly
might be worth a look it was for me considering it's my pet vice at the moment...
might be worth a look
it was for me considering it's my pet vice at the moment...On other note just wanted to say to Toto, I've just bought Rayman: Origins and first playthrough, dat artwork! Wow. Mind-gushingly creative visuals with a vibe that's nostalgic but refreshing all the same. Rainbow Road put a huuuge smile on my face
If you've been on the development team, I tip my hat to you, sir. (Not that I didn't already :P)
If you've been on the development team, I tip my hat to you, sir. (Not that I didn't already :P)
Hi all, first time posting here. I'm just going to post a bit of background information. Sorry if it's not very good, I'm at a pretty weak/low point right now and I just really need some help.
I currently have depression and ADHD, and as a child until the age of 12-13 I struggled with OCD. It is mostly fine on that front now. Compulsions do tend to "occur" sometimes. Sometimes when I get pretty depressed I go through stages of not eating much - the most it's been is probably a few weeks. But this has been going on for longer now. Maybe not long enough for me to really have an ED, but I figured you folks would be really helpful with this. I haven't ate properly for around two months. The most I eat is maybe half a bowl of cereal, half a sandwich, a yoghurt or maybe a bit of chocolate. It's okay at first, for the first few weeks...the hunger pains are almost good, as strange and warped and twisted as that sounds. But it's a distraction from everything going on around me. But then it got worse. I can't tell you how much pain I'm in right now, it feels like my stomach is imploding and I was so hungry and sick earlier that I forced myself to eat, and I think that's made me worse. I don't know what to do and I feel like I'm going to die. I need to get back to normal. I have a counsellor, but my phone broke the other day, and her number is now lost. She also doesn't do talking over emails. I won't see her until Tuesday, if I'm lucky. I don't know if I can stand the pain this long.
I'm sorry to talk so much, and to load this all onto you, but I am struggling so much right now. Thank you.
I currently have depression and ADHD, and as a child until the age of 12-13 I struggled with OCD. It is mostly fine on that front now. Compulsions do tend to "occur" sometimes. Sometimes when I get pretty depressed I go through stages of not eating much - the most it's been is probably a few weeks. But this has been going on for longer now. Maybe not long enough for me to really have an ED, but I figured you folks would be really helpful with this. I haven't ate properly for around two months. The most I eat is maybe half a bowl of cereal, half a sandwich, a yoghurt or maybe a bit of chocolate. It's okay at first, for the first few weeks...the hunger pains are almost good, as strange and warped and twisted as that sounds. But it's a distraction from everything going on around me. But then it got worse. I can't tell you how much pain I'm in right now, it feels like my stomach is imploding and I was so hungry and sick earlier that I forced myself to eat, and I think that's made me worse. I don't know what to do and I feel like I'm going to die. I need to get back to normal. I have a counsellor, but my phone broke the other day, and her number is now lost. She also doesn't do talking over emails. I won't see her until Tuesday, if I'm lucky. I don't know if I can stand the pain this long.
I'm sorry to talk so much, and to load this all onto you, but I am struggling so much right now. Thank you.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by jargonglossary
x.
The fact that you recognise that you can't go on like this is a really good thing. It sounds like you need to get some help - dietician etc.. but most importantly for now, if you have that much stomach pain - definately seek medical help. Restricting that heavily can cause a lot of digestive problems such as gallbladder problems and somach ulcers so it needs to be checked out. In the early stages I found digestive enzyme yoghurts really helpful xxx Hang in there
Original post by jargonglossary
Hi all, first time posting here. I'm just going to post a bit of background information. Sorry if it's not very good, I'm at a pretty weak/low point right now and I just really need some help.
I currently have depression and ADHD, and as a child until the age of 12-13 I struggled with OCD. It is mostly fine on that front now. Compulsions do tend to "occur" sometimes. Sometimes when I get pretty depressed I go through stages of not eating much - the most it's been is probably a few weeks. But this has been going on for longer now. Maybe not long enough for me to really have an ED, but I figured you folks would be really helpful with this. I haven't ate properly for around two months. The most I eat is maybe half a bowl of cereal, half a sandwich, a yoghurt or maybe a bit of chocolate. It's okay at first, for the first few weeks...the hunger pains are almost good, as strange and warped and twisted as that sounds. But it's a distraction from everything going on around me. But then it got worse. I can't tell you how much pain I'm in right now, it feels like my stomach is imploding and I was so hungry and sick earlier that I forced myself to eat, and I think that's made me worse. I don't know what to do and I feel like I'm going to die. I need to get back to normal. I have a counsellor, but my phone broke the other day, and her number is now lost. She also doesn't do talking over emails. I won't see her until Tuesday, if I'm lucky. I don't know if I can stand the pain this long.
I'm sorry to talk so much, and to load this all onto you, but I am struggling so much right now. Thank you.
I currently have depression and ADHD, and as a child until the age of 12-13 I struggled with OCD. It is mostly fine on that front now. Compulsions do tend to "occur" sometimes. Sometimes when I get pretty depressed I go through stages of not eating much - the most it's been is probably a few weeks. But this has been going on for longer now. Maybe not long enough for me to really have an ED, but I figured you folks would be really helpful with this. I haven't ate properly for around two months. The most I eat is maybe half a bowl of cereal, half a sandwich, a yoghurt or maybe a bit of chocolate. It's okay at first, for the first few weeks...the hunger pains are almost good, as strange and warped and twisted as that sounds. But it's a distraction from everything going on around me. But then it got worse. I can't tell you how much pain I'm in right now, it feels like my stomach is imploding and I was so hungry and sick earlier that I forced myself to eat, and I think that's made me worse. I don't know what to do and I feel like I'm going to die. I need to get back to normal. I have a counsellor, but my phone broke the other day, and her number is now lost. She also doesn't do talking over emails. I won't see her until Tuesday, if I'm lucky. I don't know if I can stand the pain this long.
I'm sorry to talk so much, and to load this all onto you, but I am struggling so much right now. Thank you.
Sorry to hear you're struggling
If the pain is that bad, it might be worth going to A+E/doctors because it doesn't sound like hunger pangs to me. And even if it is, it's a sign that your body isn't coping right now. I know its not what you want to hear, but you need to try and take care of yourself, even if you don't want to 
