Mental Health Support Society Mk XIV

I will be willing to put money on me being bipolar.

I started off this week buying ALL THE THINGS from amazon and I was really excited and pumped about starting a new uni and I was like 'HELLS YEAH LEEDS FEST' and I got about 12 hours sleep over 5 days..

and now I'm just lying in bed wanting to cry. I dont want to go to Leeds fest because... idk. I'm super scared about starting my new uni because I'm really anxious I'm not going to make any friends because going into halls is NOT an option for me. (I dont live with my parents, the situation is pretty complicated)

and I've also noticed that I'm starting to develop what could be trichotillomania on my legs (I've got bald patches... which is weird) and I dont feel like i can really talk to anybody properly.

Every time I mention the uni thing I get some generic reassuring statement and I dont think people realise just how bothered I am about feeling out of the loop and feeling like I've not moved on properly. And I'm so insulted that people think the hair pulling thing is okay because 'you dont WANT hair on your legs'

true. I dont want hair on my legs or whatever but, at the same time, shaving is a little bit different... and you're kinda writing off what could be serious problem because of aesthetics.

yeah i dont even know I just need several hugs and the motivation to go to see my doctor >.<

I will be willing to put money on me being bipolar.

I started off this week buying ALL THE THINGS from amazon and I was really excited and pumped about starting a new uni and I was like 'HELLS YEAH LEEDS FEST' and I got about 12 hours sleep over 5 days..

and now I'm just lying in bed wanting to cry. I dont want to go to Leeds fest because... idk. I'm super scared about starting my new uni because I'm really anxious I'm not going to make any friends because going into halls is NOT an option for me. (I dont live with my parents, the situation is pretty complicated)

and I've also noticed that I'm starting to develop what could be trichotillomania on my legs (I've got bald patches... which is weird) and I dont feel like i can really talk to anybody properly.

Every time I mention the uni thing I get some generic reassuring statement and I dont think people realise just how bothered I am about feeling out of the loop and feeling like I've not moved on properly. And I'm so insulted that people think the hair pulling thing is okay because 'you dont WANT hair on your legs'

true. I dont want hair on my legs or whatever but, at the same time, shaving is a little bit different... and you're kinda writing off what could be serious problem because of aesthetics.

yeah i dont even know I just need several hugs and the motivation to go to see my doctor >.<

In that case, those situations may show impulsiveness from a BPD perspective. BPD is a really annoying one tbh, because as you say, the more you think about it, the more it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy, and you begin to think of past events as a 'sign' that you have BPD, when really some of the things are just part of being a human. What really convinced me of having it (went through weird stage of denial after assessment) was reading other people's experiences of it... what really bothers me about the list of symptoms of BPD is that they are reasonably vague, can be put down to all manner of other factors, especially if you have depression, for example, and that these characteristics can make up a healthy persons personality amongst other personality traits. The key thing they miss off, is the main reasons why people may have a suicidal 'nature' or act impulsively... and that is because generally people with BPD experience unbearably intense emotions. Emotions that are so painful and difficult to control that there seems to be no other way to deal with them apart from engaging in damaging acts. I could go on and deconstruct the whole thing but I will spare you Basically, if you feel like you want to explore the possibility further, read articles or blog posts of people who have BPD and take note of their thought processes etc. If ever you want to talk through anything then feel free to PM me. I know how hideous BPD is and I really hope there is another explanation

hey hun, sorry to hear that you're having a rough time of it atm

i too am having a battle with trichotillomania, and i completely understand how frustrating it is when people don't take you seriously for it. i pull out my head hair, and i've tried explaining that its a compulsion, an impulse, that i can't stop myself, and yet the answer i continually get from my family is "why don't you just stop then, if it bothers you so much" GAHHH

i wish i could tell you how to stop the pulling, but alas, i can't i would recommend buying some fidget toys such as Tangle Toys or stress balls or rubix cubes to keep your hands occupied, and maybe wear tights to restrict your ability to pull?


thanks for the advice i really do appreciate it! tbh that makes sense, which is why I'm hesitant to bring it up with anybody in case they think i'm just being silly and write me off. but like, i can't help myself but research, especially given my degree subject, i have textbooks on the topics i'm not meant to look up!

It's okay I didn't see I always end up doing that with fb messages

Physically yeah definitely Still possibly a little more tired than usual, but pretty much fully mended Not queasy/anything, and managed to walk into town today - so can't be too bad

I haven't been down to the cove or beach for ages now you mention it Should probably visit soon/get outside more. Hope it's the same too Sure it will be Haha, that's helpful Always good to get something like that to do for results/nervous-y things.

You should! Ah, haven't seen it in a long while now Probably should at some point - have a friend who's mildly fanatical about disney, so might well be roped into watching it some time next year

Well done!! Sorry it wasn't what you needed, but yeah retakes'll be good. Yes - did very well considering ill-ness! and I guess that's sort of comforting though that you can do them when not ill? if that makes sense.

I'm odd. Not quite sure still Had today by myself, parents went off to spain this morning, and relatives coming to stay from Tuesday evening. Think I'll chill tonight, and deciding what to do tomorrow Might go walking, or chill here and maybe watch a film at the cinema
How about you?

I've spent like £500 in less than a month and I don't even know what on I didn't realise I was spending that much how could I not realise??


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Yeah I just worry I will forget to put something on the list like picking up train tickets to get home and will be a bit stranded. Have been making lists of things to do all last week and none of them say the same thing I'm meeting my friend in London and then on Wednesday we fly to Croatia so there's a fair amount that could go wrong. Think once I have done driving lesson and GP tomorrow will be able to get everything done but leaving GP til last minute wasn't the best move.

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It's easy to do I checked my bank account for the first since the start of August today, and I am -£150. Have bought loads of stupid things and am now regretting it

I've spent like £500 in less than a month and I don't even know what on I didn't realise I was spending that much how could I not realise??


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feel rubbish. night times always seem so much harder. bleugh.

Really dont want to get up so early, but gotta get to uni befor 4pm i think. I dont even know. What if iv got the date wrong


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It's easily done when you feel like death and need something to pick yourself up I can guarantee i've spent a lot more on a lot worse, and i'm continuing to do so because addiction is an ass.

Beating yourself up about it won't change anything, perhaps look into how you could prevent doing it again in the future?



They are, no doubt about it :| My therapist said it was because at night time you can't do a hell of a lot, you're just stuck in your room alone with your thoughts with fewer ways to deal with it



If nothing else, getting up and going will give you peace of mind. If it turns out you did get the date wrong, you can then choose to stay and work a bit or come back home

That sounds like very normal pre uni nerves and excitement to me. I know i was like that, one minuet getting excited looking and buying things, then the next not wanting to go.

Id say leave it until your setlled in at u i to see if this behaviour carries on.


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hey hun, sorry to hear that you're having a rough time of it atm

i too am having a battle with trichotillomania, and i completely understand how frustrating it is when people don't take you seriously for it. i pull out my head hair, and i've tried explaining that its a compulsion, an impulse, that i can't stop myself, and yet the answer i continually get from my family is "why don't you just stop then, if it bothers you so much" GAHHH

i wish i could tell you how to stop the pulling, but alas, i can't i would recommend buying some fidget toys such as Tangle Toys or stress balls or rubix cubes to keep your hands occupied, and maybe wear tights to restrict your ability to pull?

But what if iv already missed the deadline and im handing in late?


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It's easily done when you feel like death and need something to pick yourself up I can guarantee i've spent a lot more on a lot worse, and i'm continuing to do so because addiction is an ass.

Beating yourself up about it won't change anything, perhaps look into how you could prevent doing it again in the future?



They are, no doubt about it :| My therapist said it was because at night time you can't do a hell of a lot, you're just stuck in your room alone with your thoughts with fewer ways to deal with it



If nothing else, getting up and going will give you peace of mind. If it turns out you did get the date wrong, you can then choose to stay and work a bit or come back home

Thanks I guess I'm just paranoid that this impulsiveness means something :/

I don't know how to avoid doing it, I don't even realise at the time until afterwards when I look at my bank account and see how much I've spent


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Me too I'm worried that this impulsive spending means something bad :/ I dont even seem to have things to show for it but I can't have spent all that money on nothing


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It's easily done when you feel like death and need something to pick yourself up I can guarantee i've spent a lot more on a lot worse, and i'm continuing to do so because addiction is an ass.

Beating yourself up about it won't change anything, perhaps look into how you could prevent doing it again in the future?



They are, no doubt about it :| My therapist said it was because at night time you can't do a hell of a lot, you're just stuck in your room alone with your thoughts with fewer ways to deal with it



If nothing else, getting up and going will give you peace of mind. If it turns out you did get the date wrong, you can then choose to stay and work a bit or come back home

it would but I'm going into my second first year so I already know what to expect etc.. idk this has been going on since long before I transferred but I hope it is just that



thanks it really is! I mean if stopping was just so simple there wouldnt be a problem. I hope it lets up for you I know what you mean though, it's just a thing that started when I was trying to calm down and now it's kinda snowballed.

I've already gone and bought a tangle and it's waiting for me at home and I hope itll help with uni so I can have something to do with my hands while I'm writing. The tights thing is actually a good idea, which I genuinely wouldnt have thought of other wise, thank youuu ^.^

I don't think there's anything to worry about Maybe try and make a note of the things that you buy so you can keep an eye on how much you're spending?



Yeah :/ I think there's a few reasons really but that's one of them :/

Maybe write down somewhere what you have spent/are spending? Stuff sinks in a lot better when you write it down

Or hell, even just a sticky note with "money" written on it, kept somewhere in plain sight, so you always have that reminder. I've got sticky notes plastered all over my desk at home, and i find it helps me a lot.

I know i didnt want to go to uni in second year either, id had an awful first year, and an amazing summer working!
Im sure its not bipolar though.
And dont go reading symptoms! According to them i have psychosis, BPD, and others!


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