I have anxiety and CANT do my required group projects.
I am in my second term or my first year at uni. I have been assigned three compulsory group projects this term and I cried in lectures when they were announced so I don't see how I can actually do them. I have anxiety and I am extremely nervous around people especially in groups of people. I don't even know anybody on my course not a single person because I sit on my own looking at my book because I'm too scared of social contact. The most daunting project I have to do is a video documentary followed by a group essay. I hate being on camera I don't even have any photos on Facebook for example because I can't stand looking at myself and I'm especially worse with videos, I purposefully avoid reflections of myself because I can't stand to see myself. I'm not going to be able to get in front of the camera or even edit it (I have to be in the video). She also wants us to interview people, I can't even talk to people on my class let alone people on the street. And finally, the rest of the module is assessed by a group essay. I like essays but I won't be able to do one in a group I spend hours and hours stressing over my essays and have to do it at my own pace. I won't be able to handle this project I feel like I can't do it and I don't know what to do. Please don't tell me to 'challenge myself' because throwing myself into situations that give me anxiety attacks so suddenly is only going to make me feel worse.
Sadly the only way you will overcome anxiety is by gradually increasing exposure to the thing you're anxious to. You can take as long as you want, as long as you always tell yourself that you're capable. Nobody was born with any skill, they all started somewhere and gained their skills over time.
Original post by jessica1801
I am in my second term or my first year at uni. I have been assigned three compulsory group projects this term and I cried in lectures when they were announced so I don't see how I can actually do them. I have anxiety and I am extremely nervous around people especially in groups of people. I don't even know anybody on my course not a single person because I sit on my own looking at my book because I'm too scared of social contact. The most daunting project I have to do is a video documentary followed by a group essay. I hate being on camera I don't even have any photos on Facebook for example because I can't stand looking at myself and I'm especially worse with videos, I purposefully avoid reflections of myself because I can't stand to see myself. I'm not going to be able to get in front of the camera or even edit it (I have to be in the video). She also wants us to interview people, I can't even talk to people on my class let alone people on the street. And finally, the rest of the module is assessed by a group essay. I like essays but I won't be able to do one in a group I spend hours and hours stressing over my essays and have to do it at my own pace. I won't be able to handle this project I feel like I can't do it and I don't know what to do. Please don't tell me to 'challenge myself' because throwing myself into situations that give me anxiety attacks so suddenly is only going to make me feel worse.
I am surprised you even started your course without having dealt with the issue first. These situations were bound to crop up and will do so in years 2 and 3.
It sounds rubbish to sit on your own.
Ok my advice is and its counter intuitive. You do have to contact your lecturer and point out you have an issue. they should know about it. They might find it acceptable if you sort something out with your group.
1. Contact each of the group via e-mail or snapchat and explain how it affects you, that you are receiving medical treatment and the group work poses a problem.You realise it is your issue and not theirs. You still want to contribute and play your part, so you have come up with some ideas..
2. Group video. Not everyone needs to be on camera. perhaps you can contribute doing some other tasks like production,editing or sound?
3. Group meetings and ideas. Perhpas you cnat manage in person, but maybe a message board forum can be set up and you can contribute ideas on there or a snapchat group. Wuld any of them have problems with that?
4. Similar with the group essay. You could submit ideas in writing or via messenger. Its nothing personal but a group meeting is too much for you. maybe you cna skype or they can skype and you can listen and type.
5. When it comes to writing, then you could eb in charge of a particular section, plus proof reading ect. Stuff you can do on your own.
Its a shame you dont have a friend who could act as go between for you. Any reasonable students would be happy to make some allowances imo as long as you pulled your weight. Doing the above could work as a stop gap.
How much counseling/ therapy are you getting? Do they know about your issues?
If you arent in contact then get in touch with your diasbility/ student support team. You need to let your tutor and the lecturer know. Perhaps they can find a way to work round it? At some stage you have to take some measure to deal with it as in the real world you will be expected to talk to people and work in groups.
https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/our-services/get-help/
http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/your-stories/confronting-my-social-anxiety-at-university/
http://www.nopanic.org.uk/
Youth Helpline 0330 606 1174 (For 13 to 20 year olds, open 3pm to 6pm Monday to Friday, Landline rates apply)
Original post by 999tigger
I am surprised you even started your course without having dealt with the issue first. These situations were bound to crop up and will do so in years 2 and 3.
It sounds rubbish to sit on your own.
Ok my advice is and its counter intuitive. You do have to contact your lecturer and point out you have an issue. they should know about it. They might find it acceptable if you sort something out with your group.
1. Contact each of the group via e-mail or snapchat and explain how it affects you, that you are receiving medical treatment and the group work poses a problem.You realise it is your issue and not theirs. You still want to contribute and play your part, so you have come up with some ideas..
2. Group video. Not everyone needs to be on camera. perhaps you can contribute doing some other tasks like production,editing or sound?
3. Group meetings and ideas. Perhpas you cnat manage in person, but maybe a message board forum can be set up and you can contribute ideas on there or a snapchat group. Wuld any of them have problems with that?
4. Similar with the group essay. You could submit ideas in writing or via messenger. Its nothing personal but a group meeting is too much for you. maybe you cna skype or they can skype and you can listen and type.
5. When it comes to writing, then you could eb in charge of a particular section, plus proof reading ect. Stuff you can do on your own.
Its a shame you dont have a friend who could act as go between for you. Any reasonable students would be happy to make some allowances imo as long as you pulled your weight. Doing the above could work as a stop gap.
How much counseling/ therapy are you getting? Do they know about your issues?
If you arent in contact then get in touch with your diasbility/ student support team. You need to let your tutor and the lecturer know. Perhaps they can find a way to work round it? At some stage you have to take some measure to deal with it as in the real world you will be expected to talk to people and work in groups.
https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/our-services/get-help/
http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/your-stories/confronting-my-social-anxiety-at-university/
http://www.nopanic.org.uk/
Youth Helpline 0330 606 1174 (For 13 to 20 year olds, open 3pm to 6pm Monday to Friday, Landline rates apply)
It sounds rubbish to sit on your own.
Ok my advice is and its counter intuitive. You do have to contact your lecturer and point out you have an issue. they should know about it. They might find it acceptable if you sort something out with your group.
1. Contact each of the group via e-mail or snapchat and explain how it affects you, that you are receiving medical treatment and the group work poses a problem.You realise it is your issue and not theirs. You still want to contribute and play your part, so you have come up with some ideas..
2. Group video. Not everyone needs to be on camera. perhaps you can contribute doing some other tasks like production,editing or sound?
3. Group meetings and ideas. Perhpas you cnat manage in person, but maybe a message board forum can be set up and you can contribute ideas on there or a snapchat group. Wuld any of them have problems with that?
4. Similar with the group essay. You could submit ideas in writing or via messenger. Its nothing personal but a group meeting is too much for you. maybe you cna skype or they can skype and you can listen and type.
5. When it comes to writing, then you could eb in charge of a particular section, plus proof reading ect. Stuff you can do on your own.
Its a shame you dont have a friend who could act as go between for you. Any reasonable students would be happy to make some allowances imo as long as you pulled your weight. Doing the above could work as a stop gap.
How much counseling/ therapy are you getting? Do they know about your issues?
If you arent in contact then get in touch with your diasbility/ student support team. You need to let your tutor and the lecturer know. Perhaps they can find a way to work round it? At some stage you have to take some measure to deal with it as in the real world you will be expected to talk to people and work in groups.
https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/our-services/get-help/
http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/your-stories/confronting-my-social-anxiety-at-university/
http://www.nopanic.org.uk/
Youth Helpline 0330 606 1174 (For 13 to 20 year olds, open 3pm to 6pm Monday to Friday, Landline rates apply)
Thank you for the advice. I am receiving treatment and support from the counselling and disability team at my uni but my lecturers are not aware. I am going to email my lecturer to make her aware and ask if I have to be in the video as she has said and reiterated that everybody has to be in front of the camera at some point. If she can't budge on that point then Im not sure what I can do because even if I do get myself in front of the camera I won't be able to say anything of value even with a script and will more than likely be stood shaking with tears in my eyes.
I know I have to overcome my worries which is why I asked my teacher for a different module to place me in a non-compulsory study group to help me become more comfortable in these situations. However being thrown in to the deep end with this project facing everything that gives me attacks and makes me anxious is just does not seem possible for me. Even if I do force myself to do it I don't see that I will have any chance of doing well and I need a 2:1 so I can transfer uni a next year so I can live at home as I am not coping with living in halls.
Original post by jessica1801
Thank you for the advice. I am receiving treatment and support from the counselling and disability team at my uni but my lecturers are not aware. I am going to email my lecturer to make her aware and ask if I have to be in the video as she has said and reiterated that everybody has to be in front of the camera at some point. If she can't budge on that point then Im not sure what I can do because even if I do get myself in front of the camera I won't be able to say anything of value even with a script and will more than likely be stood shaking with tears in my eyes.
I know I have to overcome my worries which is why I asked my teacher for a different module to place me in a non-compulsory study group to help me become more comfortable in these situations. However being thrown in to the deep end with this project facing everything that gives me attacks and makes me anxious is just does not seem possible for me. Even if I do force myself to do it I don't see that I will have any chance of doing well and I need a 2:1 so I can transfer uni a next year so I can live at home as I am not coping with living in halls.
I know I have to overcome my worries which is why I asked my teacher for a different module to place me in a non-compulsory study group to help me become more comfortable in these situations. However being thrown in to the deep end with this project facing everything that gives me attacks and makes me anxious is just does not seem possible for me. Even if I do force myself to do it I don't see that I will have any chance of doing well and I need a 2:1 so I can transfer uni a next year so I can live at home as I am not coping with living in halls.
Do email your lecturer but also get the disability service to contact the lecturer too, to see if they can negotiate alternatives on your behalf. Involving the disability service makes it look more official and gives strength to your need for adjustments
If the disability service intervenes it's possible they will offer you an alternative assignment. It's really not the best option though. You're going to have to learn to deal with people and actually throwing yourself in at the deep end isn't the worst way to do it - if you can do this you can do anything! You could get someone else to edit your section of video so you don't have to see it. Turning up to group project work doesn't mean saying a lot, usually you'll just allocate work so stay quiet or say 'I'm happy to do anything' and yuo won't have to contribute too much.
It might actually be good for you to have some contact with people on your course so you don't have to always be alone.
Please don't think I'm being harsh to you here, I've dealt with severe anxiety (nearly dropped out of high school as a result) and I understand these things feel impossible. But they're not. And the only way it gets better is by challenging your fears.
It might actually be good for you to have some contact with people on your course so you don't have to always be alone.
Please don't think I'm being harsh to you here, I've dealt with severe anxiety (nearly dropped out of high school as a result) and I understand these things feel impossible. But they're not. And the only way it gets better is by challenging your fears.
Original post by shawn_o1
Sadly the only way you will overcome anxiety is by gradually increasing exposure to the thing you're anxious to. You can take as long as you want, as long as you always tell yourself that you're capable. Nobody was born with any skill, they all started somewhere and gained their skills over time.
Original post by doodle_333
If the disability service intervenes it's possible they will offer you an alternative assignment. It's really not the best option though. You're going to have to learn to deal with people and actually throwing yourself in at the deep end isn't the worst way to do it - if you can do this you can do anything! You could get someone else to edit your section of video so you don't have to see it. Turning up to group project work doesn't mean saying a lot, usually you'll just allocate work so stay quiet or say 'I'm happy to do anything' and yuo won't have to contribute too much.
It might actually be good for you to have some contact with people on your course so you don't have to always be alone.
Please don't think I'm being harsh to you here, I've dealt with severe anxiety (nearly dropped out of high school as a result) and I understand these things feel impossible. But they're not. And the only way it gets better is by challenging your fears.
It might actually be good for you to have some contact with people on your course so you don't have to always be alone.
Please don't think I'm being harsh to you here, I've dealt with severe anxiety (nearly dropped out of high school as a result) and I understand these things feel impossible. But they're not. And the only way it gets better is by challenging your fears.
I've had contact with people before I did a group assignment last term and it wasn't as bad as this one as it was just one meeting. Anyway, the people I got put with by my tutor didn't like me for whatever reason even though I tried to be somewhat talkative, they ignore me when they see me and they're doing this assignment together without me. It always happens, I've had this problem since I was 15 (4/5 years ago) and have been on my own and never had or made any friends since then no matter how hard I try, so it's hard to have motivation to try when for the past 5 years my confidence has been pummelled.
I don't see how just throwing myself into this assignment will help me. Although I have been suffering with these issues for years I am very early in treatment, (I've been on the waiting list for CBT for over 2 months) and my counsellor agrees that I need to tackle my fears a step at a time, this is why I asked my tutor to put me in a study group so I can slowly expose myself to people without the pressure of assignments. All of the situations I have to be in for this assignment (in front of camera, being in a large group, approaching and interviewing strangers, working with other people) are situations which cause me to have anxiety attacks. I have attacks just sitting in the lecture hall because I'm surrounded by people. I don't see how I'm going to do this when i have to be on the camera and I'm going to be visibly distressed, stuttering etc, when this obviously isn't going to go down well for a group project.
Original post by jessica1801
I've had contact with people before I did a group assignment last term and it wasn't as bad as this one as it was just one meeting. Anyway, the people I got put with by my tutor didn't like me for whatever reason even though I tried to be somewhat talkative, they ignore me when they see me and they're doing this assignment together without me. It always happens, I've had this problem since I was 15 (4/5 years ago) and have been on my own and never had or made any friends since then no matter how hard I try, so it's hard to have motivation to try when for the past 5 years my confidence has been pummelled.
I do understand how horrible it feels - but I'm guessing you don't want to be unemployed your whole life? Pretty much every job will demand that you interact with colleagues, attend meetings, work in teams and do various things which make you uncomfortable. It sounds like you probably can manage at least the group thing. I definitely understand the camera/video problem - that would still make me feel horrendous. I would definitely speak to the module leader and ensure your performance won't affect the mark of anyone else in your group and then let the others know that it makes you super anxious but you've made sure their marks won't be affected.
Original post by jessica1801
I am in my second term or my first year at uni. I have been assigned three compulsory group projects this term and I cried in lectures when they were announced so I don't see how I can actually do them. I have anxiety and I am extremely nervous around people especially in groups of people. I don't even know anybody on my course not a single person because I sit on my own looking at my book because I'm too scared of social contact. The most daunting project I have to do is a video documentary followed by a group essay. I hate being on camera I don't even have any photos on Facebook for example because I can't stand looking at myself and I'm especially worse with videos, I purposefully avoid reflections of myself because I can't stand to see myself. I'm not going to be able to get in front of the camera or even edit it (I have to be in the video). She also wants us to interview people, I can't even talk to people on my class let alone people on the street. And finally, the rest of the module is assessed by a group essay. I like essays but I won't be able to do one in a group I spend hours and hours stressing over my essays and have to do it at my own pace. I won't be able to handle this project I feel like I can't do it and I don't know what to do. Please don't tell me to 'challenge myself' because throwing myself into situations that give me anxiety attacks so suddenly is only going to make me feel worse.
I'm going to give you some advice based on my personal experiences.
From what you've wrote, I used to be just like you. I was anxious and bullied my entire school life, I hated myself and my appearance and never bothered with it, I hated being on camera and in social situations, etc.
First of all, you cannot keep living this way as you are literally not going to be able to compete in the job market once uni is over. Grad jobs are SO competitive and you absolutely need the confidence and cooperativeness to get through recruitment processes, such as Assessment Centres, which do involve presentations, group activities and interviews.
University is a great place to find out who you are, challenge yourself, and grow.
I too hated groupwork and presentations, but you must cooperate and pull your weight otherwise you're just going to get **** marks and there's no point in being at uni if you aren't aiming for a 2:1 minimum. Your second and third year will most likely involve groupwork as well. You just have to face it.
At uni you absolutely need to be able to stand up for yourself. You're not in school or college anymore, you're growing adults and if people in your group aren't cooperating then you need to have words with them about it. Try on whatsapp.
As for the camera and your lack of confidence thing, if you can't bare to look at or even like yourself, how is anyone else going to? You dislike yourself and people can see that.
I've graduated now, but during univeresity I learnt to love me and became my most confident self.
I cannot detail how I overcame my anxiety-where the sense of anxiety used to overcome my entire body, I now feel nothing at all. Nor can I really explain how I learnt to love myself, make-up and making an effort with your appearance helps, get on snapchat and instagram and get used to seeing yourself on camera.
It's all just one big learning expereince which will hopefully shape you into a much more confident pereson. Ultimately, it's your choice whether you face your fears and try to overcome the obstacles. I cannot tell you exactly how to do it because it's something you have to do yourself, just like I did.
Teamwork, interpersonal skills and confidence are absolutely vital though, so I highly suggest you do put yourself out there and try to work on developing these.
Thank you for the advice everyone, but I think the only option for me is to drop out of uni, I'm clearly not cut out for it.
Original post by jessica1801
Thank you for the advice everyone, but I think the only option for me is to drop out of uni, I'm clearly not cut out for it.
No, don't do that, lovely. I have the exact same issues as you, also in 2nd year. I don't do group work or presentations because of chronic anxiety.
There will be another way for you to do the projects as long as they meet the learning outcomes. First stop is your personal tutor straight away. Then you go see Disability who will negotiate with your Faculty about alternatives.
Get some medical evidence from your GP. X
I'm in the same boat. I fear all social situations and my second year consists of group work and presentations. I'm trying to get help but I feel like im just being a burden for everyone and just feel like dropping out even though I want this degree so badly, it has always been my dream to. I no longer know what to do and am slowly loosing hope.
