A failure and wasted space in life
Hi,
So basically, to put things into context - I am a 24 year old UNEMPLOYED, LONER (No Friends) waste of space and life living on planet Earth.
Don't get me wrong, I once lived or quite rather enjoyed life - notably a few months ago when I was in employment. But sadly, that is no longer the case.
Anyways, this is what has happened. I graduated with a First Class Honours degree in a IT disclipine just over a year ago. I was all over the moon, and genuinely for the first time in life felt that I was a real "man" ready to take on the "real" working world. And so, I took a nice vacation break for like a month and bit to really celebrate and destress - after all I didn't get that First Class Degree just like that. I WORKED HARD AND SOUL FOR IT! Anyways, upon returning to the UK in early to mid September - I struggled to get a job for a couple of months. But by mid December I secured a temporary job to work at a top organisation. The position at the time wasn't appealing or not necessarily related to IT - however I reluctantly took at it as at the time I was struggling a bit. Admittedly, in hindsight, taking the job was the best decision of my life. It made me a happier person at the time, it allowed me to strangely explore nature and go on rooftops a lot. It helped me become more confident and allowed me to understand social situations very very well - it felt like going back to uni again. I loved everyone in my department, it was a very young and diverse environment - YES, Blacks, Whites and Asians - WHICH I LOVE!
However, sadly as it was a temporary job it came to an end just two months ago. Initially I thought it wouldn't take me long to get a new job as I was in a large VERY REPUTABLE company - however I was WRONG! The first interview I had since my contract expired didn't go too well, but I was happy surprisingly for once in my life. I hated the place I interviewed at. It was too far from home and the people and culture there didn't live up to my expectations. After this, I had a few telephone interviews - ALL OF WHICH THEY CHEESED ME OFF. I was polite to them and what not, not one of them got back to me. Literally rejected! Then a like 2 weeks ago I had a face to face interview (FINAL ROUND) at a financial company. They told me I would have known if I got the job last week, however they have yet to have got back to me.
Anyways, ever since I have been unemployed I have become depressed AF. I've always lived at home with my parents, however since unemployment I have been at home MORE OFTEN. My parents are noticeably upset and I don't blame them one bit. I no longer have any friends and feel that I am not really connected to the outside world. I always question my decisions in life and why I even went to university in the first place - if I can't even get a ****ing job in the end. I've even questioned my own life and whether it is worth me even living. I honestly don't feel like a real man anymore. I don't buy stuff for myself and rather spend on my money on my siblings, literally have no life whatsoever. I've never had a girlfriend in my life either and now that I am unemployed I can't get one for sure. I feel that I am EXTREMELY LUCKY TO HAVE NICE PARENTS. They are quite well off in life, as in they have nearly paid off the house morgage and run a small retail shop - in which I help run. Otherwise, I feel that I am A COMPLETE FAILURE. I don't go to any social events anymore - whats the point - unemployed people are the lowest in society
So basically, to put things into context - I am a 24 year old UNEMPLOYED, LONER (No Friends) waste of space and life living on planet Earth.
Don't get me wrong, I once lived or quite rather enjoyed life - notably a few months ago when I was in employment. But sadly, that is no longer the case.
Anyways, this is what has happened. I graduated with a First Class Honours degree in a IT disclipine just over a year ago. I was all over the moon, and genuinely for the first time in life felt that I was a real "man" ready to take on the "real" working world. And so, I took a nice vacation break for like a month and bit to really celebrate and destress - after all I didn't get that First Class Degree just like that. I WORKED HARD AND SOUL FOR IT! Anyways, upon returning to the UK in early to mid September - I struggled to get a job for a couple of months. But by mid December I secured a temporary job to work at a top organisation. The position at the time wasn't appealing or not necessarily related to IT - however I reluctantly took at it as at the time I was struggling a bit. Admittedly, in hindsight, taking the job was the best decision of my life. It made me a happier person at the time, it allowed me to strangely explore nature and go on rooftops a lot. It helped me become more confident and allowed me to understand social situations very very well - it felt like going back to uni again. I loved everyone in my department, it was a very young and diverse environment - YES, Blacks, Whites and Asians - WHICH I LOVE!
However, sadly as it was a temporary job it came to an end just two months ago. Initially I thought it wouldn't take me long to get a new job as I was in a large VERY REPUTABLE company - however I was WRONG! The first interview I had since my contract expired didn't go too well, but I was happy surprisingly for once in my life. I hated the place I interviewed at. It was too far from home and the people and culture there didn't live up to my expectations. After this, I had a few telephone interviews - ALL OF WHICH THEY CHEESED ME OFF. I was polite to them and what not, not one of them got back to me. Literally rejected! Then a like 2 weeks ago I had a face to face interview (FINAL ROUND) at a financial company. They told me I would have known if I got the job last week, however they have yet to have got back to me.
Anyways, ever since I have been unemployed I have become depressed AF. I've always lived at home with my parents, however since unemployment I have been at home MORE OFTEN. My parents are noticeably upset and I don't blame them one bit. I no longer have any friends and feel that I am not really connected to the outside world. I always question my decisions in life and why I even went to university in the first place - if I can't even get a ****ing job in the end. I've even questioned my own life and whether it is worth me even living. I honestly don't feel like a real man anymore. I don't buy stuff for myself and rather spend on my money on my siblings, literally have no life whatsoever. I've never had a girlfriend in my life either and now that I am unemployed I can't get one for sure. I feel that I am EXTREMELY LUCKY TO HAVE NICE PARENTS. They are quite well off in life, as in they have nearly paid off the house morgage and run a small retail shop - in which I help run. Otherwise, I feel that I am A COMPLETE FAILURE. I don't go to any social events anymore - whats the point - unemployed people are the lowest in society
You're unemployed, but you're trying. That's all you can do. Just keep doing these interviews and filling out applications. You won't get a job if you give up. You just have to keep trying. Try and get out of the house a bit more, maybe try volunteering at a charity or somewhere just to give you something to do while you wait.
Original post by wa5ted
Hi,
So basically, to put things into context - I am a 24 year old UNEMPLOYED, LONER (No Friends) waste of space and life living on planet Earth.
Don't get me wrong, I once lived or quite rather enjoyed life - notably a few months ago when I was in employment. But sadly, that is no longer the case.
Anyways, this is what has happened. I graduated with a First Class Honours degree in a IT disclipine just over a year ago. I was all over the moon, and genuinely for the first time in life felt that I was a real "man" ready to take on the "real" working world. And so, I took a nice vacation break for like a month and bit to really celebrate and destress - after all I didn't get that First Class Degree just like that. I WORKED HARD AND SOUL FOR IT! Anyways, upon returning to the UK in early to mid September - I struggled to get a job for a couple of months. But by mid December I secured a temporary job to work at a top organisation. The position at the time wasn't appealing or not necessarily related to IT - however I reluctantly took at it as at the time I was struggling a bit. Admittedly, in hindsight, taking the job was the best decision of my life. It made me a happier person at the time, it allowed me to strangely explore nature and go on rooftops a lot. It helped me become more confident and allowed me to understand social situations very very well - it felt like going back to uni again. I loved everyone in my department, it was a very young and diverse environment - YES, Blacks, Whites and Asians - WHICH I LOVE!
However, sadly as it was a temporary job it came to an end just two months ago. Initially I thought it wouldn't take me long to get a new job as I was in a large VERY REPUTABLE company - however I was WRONG! The first interview I had since my contract expired didn't go too well, but I was happy surprisingly for once in my life. I hated the place I interviewed at. It was too far from home and the people and culture there didn't live up to my expectations. After this, I had a few telephone interviews - ALL OF WHICH THEY CHEESED ME OFF. I was polite to them and what not, not one of them got back to me. Literally rejected! Then a like 2 weeks ago I had a face to face interview (FINAL ROUND) at a financial company. They told me I would have known if I got the job last week, however they have yet to have got back to me.
Anyways, ever since I have been unemployed I have become depressed AF. I've always lived at home with my parents, however since unemployment I have been at home MORE OFTEN. My parents are noticeably upset and I don't blame them one bit. I no longer have any friends and feel that I am not really connected to the outside world. I always question my decisions in life and why I even went to university in the first place - if I can't even get a ****ing job in the end. I've even questioned my own life and whether it is worth me even living. I honestly don't feel like a real man anymore. I don't buy stuff for myself and rather spend on my money on my siblings, literally have no life whatsoever. I've never had a girlfriend in my life either and now that I am unemployed I can't get one for sure. I feel that I am EXTREMELY LUCKY TO HAVE NICE PARENTS. They are quite well off in life, as in they have nearly paid off the house morgage and run a small retail shop - in which I help run. Otherwise, I feel that I am A COMPLETE FAILURE. I don't go to any social events anymore - whats the point - unemployed people are the lowest in society
So basically, to put things into context - I am a 24 year old UNEMPLOYED, LONER (No Friends) waste of space and life living on planet Earth.
Don't get me wrong, I once lived or quite rather enjoyed life - notably a few months ago when I was in employment. But sadly, that is no longer the case.
Anyways, this is what has happened. I graduated with a First Class Honours degree in a IT disclipine just over a year ago. I was all over the moon, and genuinely for the first time in life felt that I was a real "man" ready to take on the "real" working world. And so, I took a nice vacation break for like a month and bit to really celebrate and destress - after all I didn't get that First Class Degree just like that. I WORKED HARD AND SOUL FOR IT! Anyways, upon returning to the UK in early to mid September - I struggled to get a job for a couple of months. But by mid December I secured a temporary job to work at a top organisation. The position at the time wasn't appealing or not necessarily related to IT - however I reluctantly took at it as at the time I was struggling a bit. Admittedly, in hindsight, taking the job was the best decision of my life. It made me a happier person at the time, it allowed me to strangely explore nature and go on rooftops a lot. It helped me become more confident and allowed me to understand social situations very very well - it felt like going back to uni again. I loved everyone in my department, it was a very young and diverse environment - YES, Blacks, Whites and Asians - WHICH I LOVE!
However, sadly as it was a temporary job it came to an end just two months ago. Initially I thought it wouldn't take me long to get a new job as I was in a large VERY REPUTABLE company - however I was WRONG! The first interview I had since my contract expired didn't go too well, but I was happy surprisingly for once in my life. I hated the place I interviewed at. It was too far from home and the people and culture there didn't live up to my expectations. After this, I had a few telephone interviews - ALL OF WHICH THEY CHEESED ME OFF. I was polite to them and what not, not one of them got back to me. Literally rejected! Then a like 2 weeks ago I had a face to face interview (FINAL ROUND) at a financial company. They told me I would have known if I got the job last week, however they have yet to have got back to me.
Anyways, ever since I have been unemployed I have become depressed AF. I've always lived at home with my parents, however since unemployment I have been at home MORE OFTEN. My parents are noticeably upset and I don't blame them one bit. I no longer have any friends and feel that I am not really connected to the outside world. I always question my decisions in life and why I even went to university in the first place - if I can't even get a ****ing job in the end. I've even questioned my own life and whether it is worth me even living. I honestly don't feel like a real man anymore. I don't buy stuff for myself and rather spend on my money on my siblings, literally have no life whatsoever. I've never had a girlfriend in my life either and now that I am unemployed I can't get one for sure. I feel that I am EXTREMELY LUCKY TO HAVE NICE PARENTS. They are quite well off in life, as in they have nearly paid off the house morgage and run a small retail shop - in which I help run. Otherwise, I feel that I am A COMPLETE FAILURE. I don't go to any social events anymore - whats the point - unemployed people are the lowest in society
You say that you don't have a reason to live (along the lines), then make one!!!. Don't just sit (metaphorically) there and do nothing... you are just believing that you are a "failure". Get UP, try taking daily walks.. make some friends... Ik that is easier said than done.. but i was in a similar position - i used to be called "fat" and ugly... at the beginning I just believed it, but once i just snapped and though I will prove them wrong. I did a lot, and i mean A LOT of exercise and now I have a 4 pack - nice muscly arms and chest. nearly my whole school likes me now, I am year 11 btw. See how i proved them wrong - You can prove your conscience wrong and try to get a job. You can try another degree in something if that IT degree does not come into use. Trust me - I ain't making this up - Think good, and life will be good too. Life is the most precious gift we have got from god, so use it wisely and do something with it. If it helps, you can watch motivational videos and that will work - HOPEFULLY XD. Stay strong and be positive.
I get your situation right now. I've been there too. I know what it's like to be unemployed & I know how those negative thoughts start creeping in and eating away at us until we can feel thoroughly miserable. I've been there but you have to trust me you can get yourself out of this hole!
The one thing I've learnt is not to take rejection personally. Sometimes a prospective employee can tick all the right boxes but just not quite be the personality type that's required. Sometimes it's only when meeting the candidates that 1 applicant comes over as being better suited to a particular work environment or better suited to fit in with the current team/work force. So don't be disheartened and don't give up!
There's no doubt it's a tough process to go through & not receive feedback at the end. I personally would recommend to wait until the appropriate time after an interview and then make a phone call and politely enquire if it's possible to have some feedback. Explain that you were hoping you'd be successful & you'd really welcome some feedback to improve. Actually ask the question 'in there opinion is there any area that I need to strengthen/develop?' This can impress & sometimes can lead to a prospective employee keeping you in mind for another job or even notifying you of one coming up. Basically feedback is really helpful. That's when I learnt not to take the outcome personally. Use feedback as a positive. Something to build on ready for next time. You might discover that your answers to questions were spot on at interview but 1 other applicant just came over as a little keener for that job than you. Again all useful to know & something to learn from.
Meantime if you are unable to acquire feedback scrutinize your interview technique, discuss & share with others, seek advice/ support from professionals or research interview techniques/likely questions etc. All your interviews even the ones that 'cheesed you off' are valuable experiences in themselves. Make a note of your responses and review them. There's always things we can do to improve, enhance or even simply to confirm/refresh ideas/techniques.
What you are experiencing is all part of the job securing process. Don't see it as a 'rejection'. That sort of -ve talk will drag you down. I know it's tough but as soon as you've come out of an interview don't sit and wait for the outcome instead keep proactive, keep searching, keep applying. Then at least if you don't hear back you'll already be moving on & may well have something else in the pipeline. It's true a better opportunity could be round the corner!
Remember employees will detect a candidate's doubt, lack of enthusiasm or complacency. So you need to be convincing at interview if you want to secure that job offer. So keep reminding yourself of the positive and address the negatives by turning them into an action. Use them to motivate your next step.You have lots of positives in your life:
You graduated with a first class honours degree. Well done! That says a lot about your work ethic & the standards you set yourself. That gets your CV noticed in the pile of applications.
You already have work experience under your belt.
That's brilliant! Another strong selling point. You need to be honest with yourself & analyse all parts of that work experience good and bad and note down every skill you acquired & every aspect of being engaged in a working environment that you learnt from including what you learnt about yourself. Know your strengths & weaknesses. (Employers are dead keen on us knowing these. The trick at a later date in interview is to describe a weakness in such a way as to turn it into a positive. (A classic example of this is to recall something in work that you may have initially found tricky or difficult but you overcame.)
In order to achieve that First Class degree you described yourself as ' worked heart & soul to achieve it'. Some one who can apply that sort of discipline is clearly driven, well motivated, able to focus, able to apply themselves to the challenge of hard work, committed etc! So many attributes that are desirable in the work p!ace!
However do make sure you know all the other +ve attributes and personality traits you possess that help to make you employable. Even consider your hobbies & interests -what do they say about you? Maybe this is the time to think about broadening your interests or developing those you already have to benefit you personally & to further enhance your CV.
So all this is moving towards you working out a personal strategy on how to move forward from here so to strengthen your current situation. You'll be surprised there are things you can do to make yourself more employable even when you are not employed.
As you become focussed on improving your employability it's likely you'll start to feel better in general about yourself and before you know it you'll be climbing up out of that hole!
So consider making a plan of action to improve yourself and to strengthen any areas of weakness. Try to include how you might keep yourself in the work environment even if it's temporary, part-time, voluntary work or shadowing opportunities. All these things offer valuable work place experiences and look good on a CV. I rang round once and created my own work experience opportunity which proved to be invaluable in the long run and resulted in a job opportunity. Even if it hadn't I knew it was still valuable experience that I'd be able to draw on.
If not done so already consider websites like 'Step'- a career website that offers students & graduates work experience/internships that can range from 6 wks to 1 year and they are paid!
Maybe explore career websites. They recommend creating your own personal portfolio of IT projects such as those involving programming or building a website or an app. Look in your local area there might be a community project that you could offer your services in or simply get involved in. There will be small businesses/services or even family members that would benefit from having a website or maybe you could offer advice on improving a dated one. Getting involved in such projects shows you are keen, driven and proactive.
Remember it's perfectly normal to use a variety of jobs merely as stepping stones to lead to where you would like to eventually be. It might be that you are not sure where you'd like to be and that's ok....you just need to be taking some steps to get started on that journey. It doesn't matter how small they are, they all add up eventually so don't be too picky.
Show your interest & enthusiasm for whatever that job offer/internship/work experience is without appearing over keen! (ie Remain calm and cheerful.) Let them know you are hard working and you won't disappoint them. Tell them you would love the opportunity to prove yourself to them etc. Above all do your background homework about a company/organisation/small business so that you can impress when you answer the question about why you want that particular job etc. Show them that you are interested enough in the job/work experience to have done a little research about them. Btw I haven't met an employer yet that doesn't like a bit of flattery about their business/work environment.
Remember you have successfully made it to interview stage more than once. Not only that but you've already been employed by a top reputable company. You impressed enough for them to take you on and you have since made it to the final stage of interview for another top company. This is success! Don't beat yourself up for not making the final selection. There are literally hundreds of applicants for these types of jobs. You are doing really well to get as far as you have been doing in the application process. So well done and DON'T GIVE UP! Apply, apply & keep applying! Trust me it's normal to apply for hundreds of jobs before securing one.
Hope some of this helps!
Good Luck 😊
The one thing I've learnt is not to take rejection personally. Sometimes a prospective employee can tick all the right boxes but just not quite be the personality type that's required. Sometimes it's only when meeting the candidates that 1 applicant comes over as being better suited to a particular work environment or better suited to fit in with the current team/work force. So don't be disheartened and don't give up!
There's no doubt it's a tough process to go through & not receive feedback at the end. I personally would recommend to wait until the appropriate time after an interview and then make a phone call and politely enquire if it's possible to have some feedback. Explain that you were hoping you'd be successful & you'd really welcome some feedback to improve. Actually ask the question 'in there opinion is there any area that I need to strengthen/develop?' This can impress & sometimes can lead to a prospective employee keeping you in mind for another job or even notifying you of one coming up. Basically feedback is really helpful. That's when I learnt not to take the outcome personally. Use feedback as a positive. Something to build on ready for next time. You might discover that your answers to questions were spot on at interview but 1 other applicant just came over as a little keener for that job than you. Again all useful to know & something to learn from.
Meantime if you are unable to acquire feedback scrutinize your interview technique, discuss & share with others, seek advice/ support from professionals or research interview techniques/likely questions etc. All your interviews even the ones that 'cheesed you off' are valuable experiences in themselves. Make a note of your responses and review them. There's always things we can do to improve, enhance or even simply to confirm/refresh ideas/techniques.
What you are experiencing is all part of the job securing process. Don't see it as a 'rejection'. That sort of -ve talk will drag you down. I know it's tough but as soon as you've come out of an interview don't sit and wait for the outcome instead keep proactive, keep searching, keep applying. Then at least if you don't hear back you'll already be moving on & may well have something else in the pipeline. It's true a better opportunity could be round the corner!
Remember employees will detect a candidate's doubt, lack of enthusiasm or complacency. So you need to be convincing at interview if you want to secure that job offer. So keep reminding yourself of the positive and address the negatives by turning them into an action. Use them to motivate your next step.You have lots of positives in your life:
You graduated with a first class honours degree. Well done! That says a lot about your work ethic & the standards you set yourself. That gets your CV noticed in the pile of applications.
You already have work experience under your belt.
That's brilliant! Another strong selling point. You need to be honest with yourself & analyse all parts of that work experience good and bad and note down every skill you acquired & every aspect of being engaged in a working environment that you learnt from including what you learnt about yourself. Know your strengths & weaknesses. (Employers are dead keen on us knowing these. The trick at a later date in interview is to describe a weakness in such a way as to turn it into a positive. (A classic example of this is to recall something in work that you may have initially found tricky or difficult but you overcame.)
In order to achieve that First Class degree you described yourself as ' worked heart & soul to achieve it'. Some one who can apply that sort of discipline is clearly driven, well motivated, able to focus, able to apply themselves to the challenge of hard work, committed etc! So many attributes that are desirable in the work p!ace!
However do make sure you know all the other +ve attributes and personality traits you possess that help to make you employable. Even consider your hobbies & interests -what do they say about you? Maybe this is the time to think about broadening your interests or developing those you already have to benefit you personally & to further enhance your CV.
So all this is moving towards you working out a personal strategy on how to move forward from here so to strengthen your current situation. You'll be surprised there are things you can do to make yourself more employable even when you are not employed.
As you become focussed on improving your employability it's likely you'll start to feel better in general about yourself and before you know it you'll be climbing up out of that hole!
So consider making a plan of action to improve yourself and to strengthen any areas of weakness. Try to include how you might keep yourself in the work environment even if it's temporary, part-time, voluntary work or shadowing opportunities. All these things offer valuable work place experiences and look good on a CV. I rang round once and created my own work experience opportunity which proved to be invaluable in the long run and resulted in a job opportunity. Even if it hadn't I knew it was still valuable experience that I'd be able to draw on.
If not done so already consider websites like 'Step'- a career website that offers students & graduates work experience/internships that can range from 6 wks to 1 year and they are paid!
Maybe explore career websites. They recommend creating your own personal portfolio of IT projects such as those involving programming or building a website or an app. Look in your local area there might be a community project that you could offer your services in or simply get involved in. There will be small businesses/services or even family members that would benefit from having a website or maybe you could offer advice on improving a dated one. Getting involved in such projects shows you are keen, driven and proactive.
Remember it's perfectly normal to use a variety of jobs merely as stepping stones to lead to where you would like to eventually be. It might be that you are not sure where you'd like to be and that's ok....you just need to be taking some steps to get started on that journey. It doesn't matter how small they are, they all add up eventually so don't be too picky.
Show your interest & enthusiasm for whatever that job offer/internship/work experience is without appearing over keen! (ie Remain calm and cheerful.) Let them know you are hard working and you won't disappoint them. Tell them you would love the opportunity to prove yourself to them etc. Above all do your background homework about a company/organisation/small business so that you can impress when you answer the question about why you want that particular job etc. Show them that you are interested enough in the job/work experience to have done a little research about them. Btw I haven't met an employer yet that doesn't like a bit of flattery about their business/work environment.
Remember you have successfully made it to interview stage more than once. Not only that but you've already been employed by a top reputable company. You impressed enough for them to take you on and you have since made it to the final stage of interview for another top company. This is success! Don't beat yourself up for not making the final selection. There are literally hundreds of applicants for these types of jobs. You are doing really well to get as far as you have been doing in the application process. So well done and DON'T GIVE UP! Apply, apply & keep applying! Trust me it's normal to apply for hundreds of jobs before securing one.
Hope some of this helps!
Good Luck 😊
