Losing my religion
I am very depressed right now
And I think i am losing my religion
I am a Muslim woman
And i know you might have heard this million times but honestly i am sick of my life
I used to love my faith and love my religion but due to this oppression and treatment of women I am thinking just to run away and never come back here
I just want to be free
Free to wear what i want
Free to do what i want
Am tired of my life
What made me write this is a recent event where i was told I shouldn’t wear certain cloths and act certain way
Am very tired
Am tired of sitting at home waiting for uni to start while my male relatives enjoy hanging out with their friends
Am tired of being told I can’t move out till am married
Am tired of being told i cant wear jeans cause i am a woman
I didn't choose to be a woman
If i knew my life would suck so much i would have chosen to be a man
Am tired of wearing a scarf everyday and suffocating in the hot summer
Am tired of not being able to go out with my friends cause am a woman
It’s not easy being a woman
It’s not easy being me!
And I think i am losing my religion
I am a Muslim woman
And i know you might have heard this million times but honestly i am sick of my life
I used to love my faith and love my religion but due to this oppression and treatment of women I am thinking just to run away and never come back here
I just want to be free
Free to wear what i want
Free to do what i want
Am tired of my life
What made me write this is a recent event where i was told I shouldn’t wear certain cloths and act certain way
Am very tired
Am tired of sitting at home waiting for uni to start while my male relatives enjoy hanging out with their friends
Am tired of being told I can’t move out till am married
Am tired of being told i cant wear jeans cause i am a woman
I didn't choose to be a woman
If i knew my life would suck so much i would have chosen to be a man
Am tired of wearing a scarf everyday and suffocating in the hot summer
Am tired of not being able to go out with my friends cause am a woman
It’s not easy being a woman
It’s not easy being me!
Scroll to see replies
Your faith and beliefs are not the same as your religion. You cannot lose religion, only alter beliefs. This is something I only learned after being in turmoil over my beliefs and what those around me expected to believe.
A religion is simply a group of people who share the same beliefs. If you do not believe in the same things as the people in your religion then perhaps it is time to walk away from those people and find more like-minded people to congregate with. That is why Christianity has so many different denominations.
In your particular case, walking away would be so much more difficult than simply doing so. If your family is too controlling, your only real options to to either try to make them understand your side (which, in my experience is extremely difficult if they justify themselves with religion) or leave now and pray that one day they will understand your reasons.
You may worry about abandoning your family but, from what it sounds like, they already abandoned your feelings long ago.
A religion is simply a group of people who share the same beliefs. If you do not believe in the same things as the people in your religion then perhaps it is time to walk away from those people and find more like-minded people to congregate with. That is why Christianity has so many different denominations.
In your particular case, walking away would be so much more difficult than simply doing so. If your family is too controlling, your only real options to to either try to make them understand your side (which, in my experience is extremely difficult if they justify themselves with religion) or leave now and pray that one day they will understand your reasons.
You may worry about abandoning your family but, from what it sounds like, they already abandoned your feelings long ago.
I tried running away many times and living alone but the cost is too much the only time I feel happy and my true self is when am in uni
Hi there,
I am also a Muslim woman and I understand what you're feeling as many of my friends and relatives have felt the same way. I think the problem is the media portraying Muslims so negatively, and also society has made it worse, we see other people wearing certain clothes and we think 'I should dress more conservatively' or 'I should wear a Hijab' etc and that's the first mistake we make, we have already failed at our religion if we compare ourselves to others, so please remember, your religion isn't what you wear, carry your religion in your heart and it will all be okay, hope this helps x
I am also a Muslim woman and I understand what you're feeling as many of my friends and relatives have felt the same way. I think the problem is the media portraying Muslims so negatively, and also society has made it worse, we see other people wearing certain clothes and we think 'I should dress more conservatively' or 'I should wear a Hijab' etc and that's the first mistake we make, we have already failed at our religion if we compare ourselves to others, so please remember, your religion isn't what you wear, carry your religion in your heart and it will all be okay, hope this helps x
Original post by Anonymous
Hi there,
I am also a Muslim woman and I understand what you're feeling as many of my friends and relatives have felt the same way. I think the problem is the media portraying Muslims so negatively, and also society has made it worse, we see other people wearing certain clothes and we think 'I should dress more conservatively' or 'I should wear a Hijab' etc and that's the first mistake we make, we have already failed at our religion if we compare ourselves to others, so please remember, your religion isn't what you wear, carry your religion in your heart and it will all be okay, hope this helps x
I am also a Muslim woman and I understand what you're feeling as many of my friends and relatives have felt the same way. I think the problem is the media portraying Muslims so negatively, and also society has made it worse, we see other people wearing certain clothes and we think 'I should dress more conservatively' or 'I should wear a Hijab' etc and that's the first mistake we make, we have already failed at our religion if we compare ourselves to others, so please remember, your religion isn't what you wear, carry your religion in your heart and it will all be okay, hope this helps x
I know i just hate it when people force me to wear or do something i dont want lemme worship my God as i want leave me alone
I understand you, but i'm a guy I went through a similar phase when I started uni
it almost felt as if I was bipolar, like what i wanted to do vs what i should.
Long story short I basically took time to reflect and I feel okay with being limited since I do strongly believe in god.
My question to you is do you actually believe in god?
and I think your problem is a family/culture issue not a religion one, since I've seen many hijabis out with their friends
personally I think your parents have taken the wrong approach, when theyre too conservative and strict it ends up suffocating you with these invisible pressures and i understand that, maybe have a 1-1 talk with your parents that help you achieve a compromise where they trust you enough to be reasonably free so you dont feel trapped in your home or maybe theyll trust you enough to go to a non local uni? that way you can have the time to reflect if you truly believe in god?
it almost felt as if I was bipolar, like what i wanted to do vs what i should.
Long story short I basically took time to reflect and I feel okay with being limited since I do strongly believe in god.
My question to you is do you actually believe in god?
and I think your problem is a family/culture issue not a religion one, since I've seen many hijabis out with their friends
personally I think your parents have taken the wrong approach, when theyre too conservative and strict it ends up suffocating you with these invisible pressures and i understand that, maybe have a 1-1 talk with your parents that help you achieve a compromise where they trust you enough to be reasonably free so you dont feel trapped in your home or maybe theyll trust you enough to go to a non local uni? that way you can have the time to reflect if you truly believe in god?
One of the reasons why I’ve left Islam. My beliefs did not match Islam’s so it would make no sense following a religion that has different beliefs as mine. I hope you figure it out. Life is too short to follow something you don’t agree with. Live your life, move out. Do whatever.
I do believe in God but i like my freedom and doing what i want they are to strict for me and i feel am losing my faith cause of my family
Original post by Amon-ster
I understand you, but i'm a guy I went through a similar phase when I started uni
it almost felt as if I was bipolar, like what i wanted to do vs what i should.
Long story short I basically took time to reflect and I feel okay with being limited since I do strongly believe in god.
My question to you is do you actually believe in god?
and I think your problem is a family/culture issue not a religion one, since I've seen many hijabis out with their friends
personally I think your parents have taken the wrong approach, when theyre too conservative and strict it ends up suffocating you with these invisible pressures and i understand that, maybe have a 1-1 talk with your parents that help you achieve a compromise where they trust you enough to be reasonably free so you dont feel trapped in your home or maybe theyll trust you enough to go to a non local uni? that way you can have the time to reflect if you truly believe in god?i
it almost felt as if I was bipolar, like what i wanted to do vs what i should.
Long story short I basically took time to reflect and I feel okay with being limited since I do strongly believe in god.
My question to you is do you actually believe in god?
and I think your problem is a family/culture issue not a religion one, since I've seen many hijabis out with their friends
personally I think your parents have taken the wrong approach, when theyre too conservative and strict it ends up suffocating you with these invisible pressures and i understand that, maybe have a 1-1 talk with your parents that help you achieve a compromise where they trust you enough to be reasonably free so you dont feel trapped in your home or maybe theyll trust you enough to go to a non local uni? that way you can have the time to reflect if you truly believe in god?i
Original post by Anonymous
I do believe in God but i like my freedom and doing what i want they are to strict for me and i feel am losing my faith cause of my family
I understand I think you should go to a different uni and move out since you cant sustain moving out without uni
and I do think your parents are overboard for not allowing jeans
I did move out to uni accommodation far away and wore jeans and removed hijab but i still feel am living a double life when i go to them am this religious person but when am far am free and happy
Original post by Amon-ster
I understand I think you should go to a different uni and move out since you cant sustain moving out without uni
and I do think your parents are overboard for not allowing jeans
and I do think your parents are overboard for not allowing jeans
Original post by Anonymous
I am very depressed right now
And I think i am losing my religion
I am a Muslim woman
And i know you might have heard this million times but honestly i am sick of my life
I used to love my faith and love my religion but due to this oppression and treatment of women I am thinking just to run away and never come back here
I just want to be free
Free to wear what i want
Free to do what i want
Am tired of my life
What made me write this is a recent event where i was told I shouldn’t wear certain cloths and act certain way
Am very tired
Am tired of sitting at home waiting for uni to start while my male relatives enjoy hanging out with their friends
Am tired of being told I can’t move out till am married
Am tired of being told i cant wear jeans cause i am a woman
I didn't choose to be a woman
If i knew my life would suck so much i would have chosen to be a man
Am tired of wearing a scarf everyday and suffocating in the hot summer
Am tired of not being able to go out with my friends cause am a woman
It’s not easy being a woman
It’s not easy being me!
And I think i am losing my religion
I am a Muslim woman
And i know you might have heard this million times but honestly i am sick of my life
I used to love my faith and love my religion but due to this oppression and treatment of women I am thinking just to run away and never come back here
I just want to be free
Free to wear what i want
Free to do what i want
Am tired of my life
What made me write this is a recent event where i was told I shouldn’t wear certain cloths and act certain way
Am very tired
Am tired of sitting at home waiting for uni to start while my male relatives enjoy hanging out with their friends
Am tired of being told I can’t move out till am married
Am tired of being told i cant wear jeans cause i am a woman
I didn't choose to be a woman
If i knew my life would suck so much i would have chosen to be a man
Am tired of wearing a scarf everyday and suffocating in the hot summer
Am tired of not being able to go out with my friends cause am a woman
It’s not easy being a woman
It’s not easy being me!
Ok I'm going to try my best to advise you with the help of God and I hope you take on board what I have to say and try to act up on it.
Firstly I would like to ask which country are you living in?
England
Original post by Anonymous
Ok I'm going to try my best to advise you with the help of God and I hope you take on board what I have to say and try to act up on it.
Firstly I would like to ask which country are you living in?
Firstly I would like to ask which country are you living in?
Original post by Anonymous
I do believe in God but i like my freedom and doing what i want they are to strict for me and i feel am losing my faith cause of my family
Culture and faith are not the same thing. Of course there are some religious restrictions, but the idea that your family makes you wear the hijab is not prescribed by Islam. Choose your own Islamic path without straying too much away from conventional rules, but it seems to me you just want to be able to get some more freedom and that’s the only issue. You believe in Allah alhamdullilah, but you have problems being able to express that how you want to. Explore Islam yourself.
As an Christian turned Atheist/Deist, I can only tell you my views on religion and the choices we all should make. In Judaism when a child becomes mature in the eyes of the Synagogue, they make a choice on whether to embrace Judaism as an adult, and I believe that this should be a part of all religion. In the end it is your life and your decision to make. If you no longer believe in Muslim ideals, then reevaluate whether you agree with any part of the Muslim faith. If you find yourself unsure or doubtful, do more research and think on it for a while. When you're ready make a choice on whether to leave the faith or not, taking into account the opinion your family will have of your afterwards and whether they will accept this choice or disown you leaving you vulnerable. This makes it not completely your choice but this is the cruel world we live in. This is why when I have children they shall not be raised religiously (though they might be christened to appease my relatives) and be able to form their own opinions on life and the world. If they turn out to accept Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Sikhism, Catholicism, Protestantism, Buddhism or even Scientology, they shall have my blessing.
Original post by HierophantMasque
As an Christian turned Atheist/Deist, I can only tell you my views on religion and the choices we all should make. In Judaism when a child becomes mature in the eyes of the Synagogue, they make a choice on whether to embrace Judaism as an adult, and I believe that this should be a part of all religion. In the end it is your life and your decision to make. If you no longer believe in Muslim ideals, then reevaluate whether you agree with any part of the Muslim faith. If you find yourself unsure or doubtful, do more research and think on it for a while. When you're ready make a choice on whether to leave the faith or not, taking into account the opinion your family will have of your afterwards and whether they will accept this choice or disown you leaving you vulnerable. This makes it not completely your choice but this is the cruel world we live in. This is why when I have children they shall not be raised religiously (though they might be christened to appease my relatives) and be able to form their own opinions on life and the world. If they turn out to accept Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Sikhism, Catholicism, Protestantism, Buddhism or even Scientology, they shall have my blessing.
This is my issue i have no say i have no choice the only time i felt alive and myself is when i took the hijab and wore jeans lived my life hang out with men and women and went to clubs and all in my family and most Muslim family you have no choice you just live to please them and do what they ask i have no problem with islam i love God i just hate the fact the force their ideas and opinions on me they are not lenient they want girls to sit in the house get married and worship God, their lives revolves around worshiping God there is no life with them i want to have a life i dont want to have their life
Original post by Anonymous
This is my issue i have no say i have no choice the only time i felt alive and myself is when i took the hijab and wore jeans lived my life hang out with men and women and went to clubs and all in my family and most Muslim family you have no choice you just live to please them and do what they ask i have no problem with islam i love God i just hate the fact the force their ideas and opinions on me they are not lenient they want girls to sit in the house get married and worship God, their lives revolves around worshiping God there is no life with them i want to have a life i dont want to have their life
Please don’t generalize. Your family is your family, but mine let’s me do whatever I want (keeping in mind that what I want is still considered ‘restricted’ and ‘modest’). I go out whenever I want, I wear jeans, I don’t wear the hijab and I resent the idea that that makes me less of a Muslim. I’m covered, if I wear tighter trousers I’ll wear a longer top for example.
Original post by Anonymous
This is my issue i have no say i have no choice the only time i felt alive and myself is when i took the hijab and wore jeans lived my life hang out with men and women and went to clubs and all in my family and most Muslim family you have no choice you just live to please them and do what they ask i have no problem with islam i love God i just hate the fact the force their ideas and opinions on me they are not lenient they want girls to sit in the house get married and worship God, their lives revolves around worshiping God there is no life with them i want to have a life i dont want to have their life
If you still believe in the Muslim God and the basic tenants of Islam then maybe instead of thinking abut abandoning your faith altogether you should consider another option. I know nothing about Islam or the history of the Muslim faith but in Christianity there are many denominations which each worship the same god but believe in slightly different methods of worships. Catholics worship the virgin Mary with gold and cathedrals, Protestants worship Jesus with simple churches, Quakers are protestants but value peace higher then anything else and so on. Is there anything like this in the Muslim faith? Different sects or groups that believe in different methods of worship? Maybe there is a sect that do not believe in the tenants which women must adhere too. Maybe your family would accept the idea of alternate worship that is accepted by the wider Muslim culture? This is only a non-Muslim's input though so please excuse my lack of knowledge of Islam.
(edited 4 years ago)
All the sect believe in almost the same thing except some other sects which are either too extreme or too bizarre we follow the general one the problem is that i find Muslims here more strict than even the ones in Saudi Arabia they make you hate religion and abandon it with their behavior they don’t want you to live the way you want but the way they want and if you show slightest rebellion they will call you crazy i just couldn’t live there i had to move out now though am paying a fortune i still feel myself and natural I don’t want to lose my religion but all this restrictions are turning me off
Original post by HierophantMasque
If you still believe in the Muslim God and the basic tenants of Islam then maybe instead of thinking abut abandoning your faith altogether you should consider another option. I know nothing about Islam or the history of the Muslim faith but in Christianity there are many denominations which each worship the same god but believe in slightly different methods of worships. Catholics worship the virgin Mary with gold and cathedrals, Protestants worship Jesus with simple churches, Quakers are protestants but value peace higher then anything else and so on. Is there anything like this in the Muslim faith? Different sects or groups that believe in different methods of worship? Maybe there is a sect that do not believe in the tenants which women must adhere too. Maybe your family would accept the idea of alternate worship that is accepted by the wider Muslim culture? This is only a non-Muslim's input though so please excuse my lack of knowledge of Islam.
Original post by Anonymous
All the sect believe in almost the same thing except some other sects which are either too extreme or too bizarre we follow the general one the problem is that i find Muslims here more strict than even the ones in Saudi Arabia they make you hate religion and abandon it with their behavior they don’t want you to live the way you want but the way they want and if you show slightest rebellion they will call you crazy i just couldn’t live there i had to move out now though am paying a fortune i still feel myself and natural I don’t want to lose my religion but all this restrictions are turning me off
Then you could always start your own sect? A bit ambitious sure, but your beliefs are your beliefs. If you feel you should worship your god in a specific way and follow specific rules and not follow others then do it. New Christian denominations pop up all the time with varying popularity, but popularity doesn't matter, just what you believe. If this is too ambitious, and your religion means so much to you, you will need to make a choice. It doesn't have to be soon or even in the next few years, but this is your life. What means more to you should be what your life revolves around. If it's the Muslim god then keep to your religion or find a way to worship in which you are happy. If it's your personal expression, freedom and abandoning the rules, then leave your religion or find perhaps a variant of deism where you believe in a God, not his rules.
I thought this thread was gonna be about R.E.M. but how wrong I was
