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    I think ive lost someone. cant cope with how sad I am.
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    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    I think ive lost someone. cant cope with how sad I am.
    On skype/facebook if you wanna talk about stuff hun :jumphug:


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    #9

    Would love a hug right now, feeling very lonely
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    (Original post by Pathway)
    No, we have to contribute our own results (which is making me stress out). Gonna try and see if she will transfer me into the same group as my friends (we got split up in the end when it came to choosing which lab we wanted, I was a bit too late, and the lab I wanted got filled up within a minute!), but if she doesn't then I'll just ask my friends to participate in my experiment. Just don't like the thought of being on my own, especially as I'm not feeling that great lately and not really understanding anything in lectures - it's nice to be able to talk to people about what's happened during the lecture. Helps me understand it more. Guess I could try and make new friends, but talking to new people is so stressful and I would much rather not do it, makes me have anxiety attacks. :dontknow: Never used to be like this. Guess I've just gotten lazy. Yeah, I think it's preparation for next years project, but that'll be easier, because our projects can just go for the whole year etc.

    Thanks. :hugs:

    How are you? :jumphug:
    Hope you can :hugs:
    Understand about lectures/not understanding them You'll gradually make newer friends won't you on course sort of? Not necessarily close ones, but acquaintances and things? Not lazy :nah: Ill! :console:
    Ah that's good

    Sorry about GP w/ ED stuff :hugs:

    I'm okay, was quite bad yesterday sort of, but had a more relaxing day today/have just watched about 5 episodes of friends or something just now/just chilling Feels a bit odd to be feeling okay but I think I am.

    Hope you're okay :jumphug:



    (Original post by Anonymous #2)
    Spoiler:
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    Decided I'm going to email her about it later :headfire:

    EDIT: Just emailed. :eek3: :eek3: :eek3:

    :hugs:
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    Well done :hugs: good luck


    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    thanks man i will try but i am starting to think [eople here have good reason to dislike me-my various negative personality traits
    :nah: I don't see why you would've shown any of us here why we should dislike you? :dontknow: All I've gotten from you is that you're really friendly and nice!

    (Original post by Jay84)
    Good film. Its pretty strange but very funny. Enjoy!
    Random thing, but had kinda just forgotten to say earlier/was late in realising you were back/posting on here - but just wanted to say that I was really glad to read that you were semi-okay/living near someone you can talk to/in a better place than you were a few months ago (if I can say that? ) Just reading your posts it sounds as though you're doing better too - or at least I hope you are!
    Sorry for randomness Had been wondering where you were occasionally and then when I read your reply back it made me relieved/glad.
    :hide:

    (Original post by IDukem)
    My mouth is in pain (wisdom tooth coming through and I think just a sore jaw-joint) and I feel a cold coming on. I got many presentations coming up too so welp!
    :hugs: Got a toothache today/last couple days too, really scared I'm going to need something done at dentists. Been probably 18 months since I last went and now quite scared. Going to try book an appointment with them on monday or something, but is just scary, so I understand! Was going to wait to fill out one of those HC1 (or something like that?) forms to get free dental care on NHS (based on *your* income, apparently. That might not make any sense...)
    I'm forgetful with brushing/don't always twice a day, and then also I've been eating a lot of rubbish. But anyway.... sorry for that ramble was just odd reading this because I've been worrying about it this afternoon/evening/last few days.

    Hope wisdom tooth comes through okay - kinda hoping mine's just that/not an infection/doesn't need anything bad, but then not sure how that'd feel. Anyway....! Yes. Hope you're okay :hugs:



    (Original post by Meaty_man)
    Last shift at this place, its been an easy night so far but its really dragging, and its still stressing me out a lot.

    Just need to remember it won't last forever, even if it feels that way.

    Argh, head is such a mess hope you guys are feeling better than me.
    hope it goes okay :hugs:

    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    I think ive lost someone. cant cope with how sad I am.
    :jumphug: Am around on fb/skype, I hope today/tomorrow go okay at home :hugs:

    -------------------------------------------------


    Feeling actually okay tonight, which feels so odd Well, feeling a bit down/bleh, but not too *stressed* I think? Not sure. Just feel slightly different :hide: Maybe was just feeling okay earlier and now getting down a bit as it gets later... :/

    Stuff hopefully calming down soon with cinema/everything. So worried about essay stuff though. Just want to ask someone to tell me what to do but I haven't a clue/am scared to let tutor/people know that I've gotten nowhere. 2 1/2 weeks left to do this presentation, when I, and everyone else, has had like 13-14 weeks or something Gah.
    Also just realised I need to text my Aunt back about getting a lift home at holiday and eurgh
    need to relax and forget about stuff for now/tonight I think, but just too stressed
    Group went well on friday though, and film allnighter was good - Toy Story is so great
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Would love a hug right now, feeling very lonely
    :jumphug:
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    Why does insomnia kick in when you have to be up in the morning and have a WHOLE day of peopling with possibly hundreds of people :sigh:


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    The world off TSR is so much friendlier than the gender wars.
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    (Original post by PandaWho)
    Why does insomnia kick in when you have to be up in the morning and have a WHOLE day of peopling with possibly hundreds of people :sigh:
    :hugs:


    -----------------------------------------------------




    Think I feel so weird tonight is that I'm not feeling particularly sad for anything that feels immediate or happening now - a lot of the stress stuff happened the last few nights, and I've had a horrible busy 2-4 weeks at least, without much rest/respite, and today I've had a day where I've finally had a rest sort of? and more control over stuff/not spent long at cinema or anything (Well, ~3-4 hours, but still - wasn't a stressed time/was mostly just watching the film ) and had a nice evening/day not bothered by housemates too much.
    Sure I've had toothache stress, but that's sort of left my head a bit sort of? at least getting home/watching some Friends.

    But instead I'm feeling just sad about me and everything - all that's happened over the last year-18 months or more and how I've felt/just I don't know
    ramble :S
    Miss home a lot - where we used to live/basically just want to live how I lived 2 summers ago in between school and Uni? Just walking and wandering and exploring lots over beautiful cotswold hills in the lovely sun, blue skies, and seeing friends, having my own space at home (have visited back there, but obvs have to stay with a friend - which is nice, but anxiety-y and less freedom) - having the degu's, and yeah. No horrible stresses with work. Sort of miss school, but don't have quite the same memories?

    But missing that so much also feels odd - because at the same time it was the start of my low mood, sort of? I think? Although I suppose the bits I'm missing are the bits where I was getting lost and exploring - the parts where I was forgetting why I was sad/just getting away from it all.
    I just want to do that, to get away and it was all so beautiful and lovely :moon: and could explore and get lost and wander and have fun and not worry about anything. Just be alone and explore.

    Just miss it so so much. Torquay just isn't the same. At all. Stuck in a town/more difficult to get out, and sure I could explore dartmoor, but that means driving there - whereas back where we were I could get out my front door and be lost in countryside almost immediately, with so many options and ways to go. Can think of places even now that I didn't explore that I could have/would if I were back there.

    and I just knew/know the area so much better too, could easily drive anywhere there, but haven't a clue where we are now. And now when I go back it just feels slightly alien? But also familiar/homely, but also just slightly detached and just odd.


    Bleh Just wish I was better and didn't have these wishes and wants and all this work and stress and not being able to just escape
    This is why I want to travel in the summer, or do this Land's End to John o'Groats thing, or just to go to a national park and explore for a month or something. I don't know :moon:

    *sigh*


    Sorry for massive ramble, already rambled so much in diary, but figured I should write something in here, but seem to have gone overboard here too. Not sure whether to copy across anything from here to diary, now kinda nice having 2 separate accounts of it, but then I love having a physical writing-down of my all my thoughts. Love it to bits.
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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    The world off TSR is so much friendlier than the gender wars.
    I make a point to avoid those threads i find you don't have to read much to realise when its gonna derail! Save yourself the pain and don't bother with them

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    (Original post by Meaty_man)
    I make a point to avoid those threads i find you don't have to read much to realise when its gonna derail! Save yourself the pain and don't bother with them

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    this ^ I steer clear of any gender based tsr thread because it descends into pointless arguing within the first page or so


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    (Original post by purple-duck)
    Hope you can :hugs:
    Understand about lectures/not understanding them You'll gradually make newer friends won't you on course sort of? Not necessarily close ones, but acquaintances and things? Not lazy :nah: Ill! :console:
    Ah that's good

    Sorry about GP w/ ED stuff :hugs:

    I'm okay, was quite bad yesterday sort of, but had a more relaxing day today/have just watched about 5 episodes of friends or something just now/just chilling Feels a bit odd to be feeling okay but I think I am.

    Hope you're okay :jumphug:

    -------------------------------------------------


    Feeling actually okay tonight, which feels so odd Well, feeling a bit down/bleh, but not too *stressed* I think? Not sure. Just feel slightly different :hide: Maybe was just feeling okay earlier and now getting down a bit as it gets later... :/

    Stuff hopefully calming down soon with cinema/everything. So worried about essay stuff though. Just want to ask someone to tell me what to do but I haven't a clue/am scared to let tutor/people know that I've gotten nowhere. 2 1/2 weeks left to do this presentation, when I, and everyone else, has had like 13-14 weeks or something Gah.
    Also just realised I need to text my Aunt back about getting a lift home at holiday and eurgh
    need to relax and forget about stuff for now/tonight I think, but just too stressed
    Group went well on friday though, and film allnighter was good - Toy Story is so great
    The person within my department that liases with student support said he's gonna try and get me transferred over to the lab I wouldn't mind doing. So that's good I guess.
    Yeah, it's just, well, ok basically with regards to my physical disability (EDS) people tend to not believe me. My current issue is because I'm in the middle of a really bad flare up, I keep missing things and I rely a lot on my friends to explain what's happening etc, because they know and they understand that I'm struggling at the minute with it. I don't want to be judged again, so I don't like telling people about it and I don't know if new people would understand if I said stuff like I can't write (I mean, even typing is painful right now ). I don't currently have a note taker so I can't even get help that way.

    My most recent GP person (because I decided to change) just looked skeptical when I explained the amount of trouble I was having with the ED side of things. But she's so helpful with all the other stuff so I dunno. Seeing her again hopefully Friday...I dunno...So scared.
    Spoiler:
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    Feel so fat.


    Glad you're feeling better today. :hugs:

    I'm not ok, but just...don't know what to do anymore.

    Try not to stress too much about the presentation, I am super sure you can get it done in time! :console:
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    Need to stop with this whole getting in a mess at four in the morning thing


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    • #12
    #12

    (Original post by furryface12)
    Need to stop with this whole getting in a mess at four in the morning thing


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    :console: you okay?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    :console: you okay?
    Just bad/scary thoughts and stuff and need to go to sleep but they won't go away I keep doing it and being stupidly tired doesn't help, but then they're stopping me from sleeping so I don't know Sorry, hope you're ok :hugs:


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    Feel like im unneccesarily posting just for my own benefit at this point, i hope people don't mind, sorry for the rant in advance.

    Think im making the right choice giving this up, this job is just too much for a faint hearted person such as myself, and i feel sorry for the residents and staff here, they are lovely; just wish i was stronger.

    Also feel bad that im gonna need to go back to jobcentre, just feeling bad all around at least I'll have a bit more money at the end of the month. Just need to try and not do anything stupid.

    Don't even know if I'll be able to get to sleep when i get back home, too much on my mind.

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    • #12
    #12

    (Original post by furryface12)
    Just bad/scary thoughts and stuff and need to go to sleep but they won't go away I keep doing it and being stupidly tired doesn't help, but then they're stopping me from sleeping so I don't know Sorry, hope you're ok :hugs:


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    :hugs: sorry to hear that, there anything you can do or anyone who can help? im okay I guess, just idk, tired I think.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    :hugs: sorry to hear that, there anything you can do or anyone who can help? im okay I guess, just idk, tired I think.
    Listening to music and doing jigsaws which is distracting me a bit, I'll be fine. Glad you're ok, hope you can get some sleep soon!


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    • #12
    #12

    (Original post by furryface12)
    Listening to music and doing jigsaws which is distracting me a bit, I'll be fine. Glad you're ok, hope you can get some sleep soon!


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    hope it helps! thanks, hope you feel better too! :hugs:
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    (Original post by Meaty_man)
    Feel like im unneccesarily posting just for my own benefit at this point, i hope people don't mind, sorry for the rant in advance.

    Think im making the right choice giving this up, this job is just too much for a faint hearted person such as myself, and i feel sorry for the residents and staff here, they are lovely; just wish i was stronger.

    Also feel bad that im gonna need to go back to jobcentre, just feeling bad all around at least I'll have a bit more money at the end of the month. Just need to try and not do anything stupid.

    Don't even know if I'll be able to get to sleep when i get back home, too much on my mind.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    :hugs: hope you're okay mate, sounds like your job is tough so I can understand not feeling able to cope with it, hopefully things work out for you!

    ---

    sleep pattern is beyond a joke at this point, don't really know when I will sleep and when I will be awake. mood is...I don't even know right now, one minute im okay the next I feel like I just want to curl up in a ball somewhere and not deal with anything, don't know what to do with my life at all anymore, everything just feels pretty pointless, like I am wandering aimlessly from day to day with no purpose or end in sight, I just don't know what to do or feel or think about anything much.
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    (Original post by Jean-Luc Picard)
    :hugs: hope you're okay mate, sounds like your job is tough so I can understand not feeling able to cope with it, hopefully things work out for you!

    ---

    sleep pattern is beyond a joke at this point, don't really know when I will sleep and when I will be awake. mood is...I don't even know right now, one minute im okay the next I feel like I just want to curl up in a ball somewhere and not deal with anything, don't know what to do with my life at all anymore, everything just feels pretty pointless, like I am wandering aimlessly from day to day with no purpose or end in sight, I just don't know what to do or feel or think about anything much.
    Thanks for the kind words bud sucks to hear your sleeping pattern is being a pain, its not an easy beast to deal with!

    Have you tried making things to aim for? It is difficult to keep going with no end point in mind, feels like an endless treadmill :/

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