The Fresher's Angst Thread

Craghyrax

17

For all worries and angst regarding starting University :smile:

Reply 1

Rascacielos

19

I'm starting at UCL in September and I think I'll be living on a long corridor rather than in a flat, so instead of meeting everybody in a communal living area which makes meeting flatmates a little easier, everyone has their individual room.

Thing is, I'm really bad at making friends/starting conversations with people. Once I'm chatting to them, I'm absolutely fine but I'm so worried about everyone else making friends and me being left on my tod because I wasn't gregarious enough to go and introduce myself to people.

So, other people who have had this experience, what are your tips? I was thinking of making some cake/taking a box of Celebrations with me so I can offer chocolate to people but I'm not sure. Also, is it best to give everyone a couple of hours to move in and unpack or should I go speak to them as soon as their parents leave?

Blimey, I feel like a 5 year old kid learning social interaction all over again. :tongue:

Reply 2

Darthdevidem

1

Hey I've got the same questions lol

For me its a corridor of 6 rooms and 1 common living room/kitchen.

But its not like a flat, its like a hotel corridor with 1 room on the side where the common stuff is so I guess it easier!

The only thing making me nervous is that some people are going to stay from the 12th and I'm going on the 18th so I hope friendship groups aren't already made :frown:

Reply 3

py0alb

3

Chocolate? meh. Alcohol? yes.

I was in a kitchen with 10 other people. We all met in the first couple of days and went to the pub in the evenings. Then we went en masse to the next kitchen and introduced ourselves, and invited them all down the pub too.

Reply 4

Pandabär

11

Take a door stop.

Keeping your door open looks much more approachable.

I waited for everyone to get there, then went round and introduced myself (kinda akward, but really glad I did. Everyone else seemed too scared to do so and I met all my friends this way)

Reply 5

Renacata

1

You might not want to walk into someone's room if they're there on their own, but someone else won't mind - just follow them in! Other than that, just leave your door open when you're there :tongue:

People will probably congregate on the corridor at first anyway.

@Darthdevidem: People will already have been introduced, true, but friendship groups won't be anywhere near 'set' after six days - it won't make it any harder to make friends :smile:

Reply 6

Lamptastic

14

I bumped into my mate (ex housemate) carrying an amp & guitar to his room. An hour later I saw him in the kitchen offering people a beer. I was the only one who accepted.

Still friends. :smile:

Offer beer, tea, invite to the pub ...it's all fun.

Some people like to keep to themselves but the kitchen/communal area is the place to be.

I also knocked on a few doors in my corridor to say hi. Met another one of my good friends that way as he had an impressive cd collection.

Halls was the best year-enjoy! I lived in Max Rayne halls in Camden (UCL) awesomely fun times. :colone:

Reply 7

Belle-x

15

Leave your door open and people will come and say hi. Likewise, if your flatmates have their doors open then just pop your head round and say hiya and introduce yourself :smile:

Reply 8

Erich Hartmann

13

Original post by Pandabär

Take a door stop.

Keeping your door open looks much more approachable.

I waited for everyone to get there, then went round and introduced myself (kinda akward, but really glad I did. Everyone else seemed too scared to do so and I met all my friends this way)

This may come as a surprise to you but in most university halls they have a policy on keeping doors open, all doors will need to remain shut at all times due to the fire code.

Many universities strictly enforce this so propping a door open can sometimes get you into trouble.

Reply 9

redvinoandambien

Don't just go and introduce yourself then stand there looking awkward / run off, say Hi I'm ... do you know where X is? or ask what they are studying or what their plans for the rest of the day are. I went on a week long taster course this year and made friends simply by being pathetic and going up to people saying hi, I don't know anyone and you weren't talking to anyone so I thought I'd introduce myself.

If you decide to take cake / chocolate then don't just stand there handing it out or it will look like you are trying to "buy" friends - you could find someone who looks friendly, introduce yourself, ask if they're settled in and then tell them you have cake etc do they want to take it into the kitchen and help you hand it out...

If you take alcohol then don't get it out in the middle of the first day - wait until the evening otherwise it might give the wrong impression!

And yes, keep your door open and invite people into your room for coffee or something. It also helps if you forget something like a map or a pen or shampoo - gives you an excuse to talk to random people.

Reply 10

Derfel

14

"Ah, it may look like I was watching porn, but there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for the skin tight leopard leotard."

Reply 11

apassingfeeling

17

I lived on a corridor as well, with a communal room at the end of it. I took a doorstop, kept my door open and waited for people to arrive (I was the first person to get there, annoyingly). When people did start arriving, they walked past, I stuck my head out and said 'Hey!' and then the conversation flowed from there. I am SO socially awkward, and I am really shy and usually have such a hard time with stuff like this, but I knew that it'd be easier to just jump the gun and go for it than to wait for people to come to me.

The good thing about freshers is that everyone is in the same boat - no one knows anyone, so everyone wants to make a friend and therefore talking is easy :smile:

Reply 12

Pandabär

11

Original post by Erich Hartmann

This may come as a surprise to you but in most university halls they have a policy on keeping doors open, all doors will need to remain shut at all times due to the fire code.

Many universities strictly enforce this so propping a door open can sometimes get you into trouble.

This may come as a suprise to you, but on moving-in day, everyone props their door open. Not only does it show you're in there and willing to make friends, but it helps if the door is open whilst you're trying to carry huge boxes/ tv's/ suitcases into your room.

Reply 13

cognito_08

16

The first day I was in halls—after my parents helped me move all my stuff in—I just knocked on everyone's door and introduced myself :smile:

Don't worry about it being awkward because everyone's new, everyone's nervous and they just want to meet new people ASAP.

Nudie run.

Just be really friendly even if you're not feeling confident (fake it!). On freshers week everyone is incredibly open and its totally acceptable to just go up to people and be like HIYA. You'll be feeling comfortable before you know it :smile:

Reply 16

Michael Locke

14

I was in the kitchen drinking whisky alone when they all walked in together.

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 17

A Mysterious Lord

20

When I moved in everyone was sat in the communal kitchen area, just walked in and introduced myself. We all kept our doors open for the first few days as well.

Reply 18

The Mr Z

13

Original post by Rascacielos

I'm starting at UCL in September and I think I'll be living on a long corridor rather than in a flat, so instead of meeting everybody in a communal living area which makes meeting flatmates a little easier, everyone has their individual room.

Thing is, I'm really bad at making friends/starting conversations with people. Once I'm chatting to them, I'm absolutely fine but I'm so worried about everyone else making friends and me being left on my tod because I wasn't gregarious enough to go and introduce myself to people.

So, other people who have had this experience, what are your tips? I was thinking of making some cake/taking a box of Celebrations with me so I can offer chocolate to people but I'm not sure. Also, is it best to give everyone a couple of hours to move in and unpack or should I go speak to them as soon as their parents leave?

Blimey, I feel like a 5 year old kid learning social interaction all over again. :tongue:

Most people were moving in on the same day, so literally introduced myself to people as I saw them moving in and carrying stuff, etc. There's no time period you have to wait (but be polite to their parents if they're still there).

Just speak to people, and when everyone's moved in go out of your way to suggest you all do something that evening as a group (unless the uni has something already organised) - a meal, going to find some nearby pubs, anything will do.

Other than that, take a doorstop - I kept my door open for the whole of fresher's week and only closed it when I went out or was getting changed/asleep. Also had a tin of Quality Street I offered to anyone who came in.

For starting conversation, standard fresher week questions; name, subject, where they come from, where their room is (if not obvious, eg you've met them down the bar). Just make conversation about anything you can.

Don't miss any of the uni/student union organised social events, regardless of how tacky they are.